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| | | |-+  ATTN Writers: Seeking constructive criticism for a piece
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Author Topic: ATTN Writers: Seeking constructive criticism for a piece  (Read 220 times)
Governor Scott
Scott
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« on: April 03, 2013, 12:40:46 pm »
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So, four months ago, I started drafting a novel.  This was my second attempt at writing it since over a year ago, when I abandoned an older project because, simply, I did not like what was being produced.  Since I started the new novel, I've tried to work on it a little each day to brush up on my skills and get critique.  In fact, I have decided not to put the book up for sale when it is finished as a way to encourage people to read it and send me their thoughts and criticisms, which I feel will benefit me more over the long term.

Now, my high school's literature magazine is looking for poems, short stories, and other written works to publish.  I thought this would be a good opportunity for me to publish what I believe to be my best work and promote the novel so that I have an audience to show when it's released.  Unfortunately, my friends on Facebook have given me little feedback here.

Though it is short, this chapter was written, re-written, and edited over several hours.  However, I am still not completely satisfied with it.  So, I thought I would post the excerpt here for public scrutiny so that I can make the necessary changes before I submit it to the magazine, hopefully by the end of this week.

Thanks.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/133729575/The-Sunset-An-Excerpt
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asexual trans victimologist
Nathan
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« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2013, 01:11:04 pm »
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I can try to look at this sometime tomorrow if you'd like.
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Professor Nathan: A shameless agrarian collectivist with no respect for private property or individual rights. Can you really trust him?

It's like one minute you're preaching from the pulpit at some exceedingly dull church; the next you're a giving a Womens' Studies lecture at Berkeley.
Governor Scott
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« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2013, 01:16:38 pm »
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I can try to look at this sometime tomorrow if you'd like.

That would be helpful.
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Governor Scott
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« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2013, 01:53:45 pm »
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Bump.  I almost forgot about this.  Tomorrow, I'm sending it in, but I'm leaving one more day for comments/criticism.
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asexual trans victimologist
Nathan
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« Reply #4 on: April 11, 2013, 02:22:14 pm »
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I'm really sorry I didn't get back to you on this. Things got out of hand in my life.
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Professor Nathan: A shameless agrarian collectivist with no respect for private property or individual rights. Can you really trust him?

It's like one minute you're preaching from the pulpit at some exceedingly dull church; the next you're a giving a Womens' Studies lecture at Berkeley.
Dr. Cynic
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« Reply #5 on: April 11, 2013, 02:27:12 pm »
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I like your descriptiveness, but I thought the dialogue was a bit choppy at points. Overall, I can see this being an engaging story.
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Senator Napoleon
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« Reply #6 on: April 14, 2013, 02:00:15 am »
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I read it and enjoyed it. But I can't criticize well.

I only found this because I was randomly looking at Nathan's profile, weird as that may sound. You'll get more responses in forum community.
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The only thing that is certain is that he's a douche! What he will infract is uncetain.
Governor Scott
Scott
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« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2013, 10:31:31 am »
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Thanks for your comments, guys.  And that's a good idea, Napoleon.
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