Comedy Goldmine XII: A reimagining with Edward James Olmos and Mary McDonnell

[Joe Republic]

In before Boris' latest musings.

[The Mikado]

Bacon King owns Vane:

Serious question: Why did Purple State stop posting around the forum once he got into Fantasy politics? Well over 90% of his posts are on the Fantasy elections and fantasy Government boards. It just seems odd for someone to join the site posting like a normal person and then stop once they register in Atlasia (let's pretend that his entry to Atlasia wasn't at all suspicious).

LOL

LOL LOL

You are seriously insinuating that PurpleState posts on the forum just because of his ambition to become the powerless head honcho in an imaginary political game, and that this desire has led him through years of planning, Machiavellian strategy, and extreme personality-masking? You, of all people, are suggesting this? You, Hamilton, the man that joined Atlasia, recruited zombie voters galore, personally destroyed the RPP from within, attempted to make political deals to give PiT the presidency, masterminded a vote-shuffling plan that put the entire northeastern region in your pocket?

I'll admit that PurpleState's push to restart the GM Office seemed a bit self-serving, considering he's been GM ever since- but that's really irrelevant; when he was trying to restart the office he let it be known to everyone he thought he could make a great Game Moderator- and look, he has! Without a shred of personal gain, I might add. Really, PS has always been one to put Atlasia first and himself second, always trying to make the game more fun rather than, I don't know, plotting to have the most power in a pretend politics game on the internet.

This is like "the pot calling the kettle black", except instead of being black the "kettle" is actually a rather large white chinaware plate with a fancy blue pattern around the edges. Also, the pot's been thrown out the window because it was moldy and giving the kitchen a bad smell so now it's shouting its accusations by pretending to be a baking tray.

[Хahar 🤔]

Quote fáil.

[The Mikado]

Quote fáil.

Quite right, good sir.

Let me make up for it with this item of pbrower's (I edited out the boring parts)

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[Tetro Kornbluth]

Added for posterity.

So we're playing flip cup and we lose the first four games or so, but after a roster shakeup we start kicking ass. Third eye blind is playing and all of a sudden word of an attempted terrorist attack on times square reaches the collective consciousness. So I text my brother who lives in NYC and he's like, "bro, i'm grinding with a hot blonde. What the hell are you talking about?" and through his drunkeness in a brooklyn nightclub he presents a valid point: why? I just wanna drink, smoke, watch NHL hockey in high definition, and fco hot girls. Call me Canadian, call me what you will, but it's the truth. But I don't see how that justifies someone trying to blow up sh**t. Look, guys, we can accomplish a lot if we just stick together, play some pong, and take a few hits from the volcano, and just listen to all that seemingly content late 1990s alternative rock. The terrorists, the government - they don't realize that we can transcend their existence. But it's going to take more than criticisizing the national health service "in theory" behind your computer screen. 

[Torie]

Quote fáil.

Quite right, good sir.

Let me make up for it with this item of pbrower's (I edited out the boring parts)

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2.
2.
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4.

LOLZ. Poor pbrower, the Rodney Dangerfield of the forum. I feel for him.

[The Mikado]

Quote fáil.

Quite right, good sir.

Let me make up for it with this item of pbrower's (I edited out the boring parts)

1.
2.
2.
3.
4.

LOLZ. Poor pbrower, the Rodney Dangerfield of the forum. I feel for him.

I just thought that pointing out that the legendary political scientist Pbrower couldn't count was worthwhile.    And look at his posting history.  You'll stop feeling sorry for him very quickly.  You'll also be calling for whisky: neat, and keep them coming.

[King]

You forgot to lock your thread, and now poor Inks needs to take the trouble to do it.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

I am announcing GPORTER will be my VP

[The Mikado]

not really Jewish, am Baptist.

I believe your brain is literally crying for a break from Atlas.

My friend, one day you will know my reasoning for going insane.

Robitussin?

[Gustaf]

Here's my shot at it:

"In the wake of a fourth horrific attack on Chinese schoolchildren – this time by a crazed man who on Friday beet five toddlers with a hammer, then set himself on fire with two other children in his arms – the shocked and bruised nation was of two distinctly different minds.   

On the Internet and the newspapers, people agonized whether in their tightly regimented society, a boiling cauldron of change with no pressure valve was blowing its lid.
In the halls of government, however, the emphasis was on preventing the steam from escaping at all."

pardon?

I rephrased it.  I thought that's what you meant.  Did you want us to read it out loud for you?  Because if so, someone else will have to, I don't have a microphone at the moment.

How is this funny? 

I may have misread it, but you posted the exact same text again, which seemed a bit cruel to the poor guy...

[Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey]

yougo1000 travels to Illinois and Florida.

...

It doesn't work like Atlasia Americana...

True, in Americana, when game wa at it finest and still active, you'd be able to have an affair with NiK.

[King]

BREAKING: Hamilton makes funny

How/Why did John McCain win the Atlas 2008 Mock General Election?

We used Rasmussen's likely voters screen.

[○∙◄☻¥tπ[╪AV┼cVê└]

More of a WTF, actually.

It's about 9:00 PM, isn't it time for you to go to bed?

Stop with this please I have connections to the FBI.

[The Mikado]

Two posts from different threads.  Taken together they make a fascinating combination:

THEY WERE HERE!!!!!!! The marshians came into contact with our first civilizations because their planet was no longer livable. They mated with earth women in certain cultures which created the first beliefs in celestial beings which would become known as gods in Egypt, Mesopotamia, Babylon, and eventually Greece and Rome. Most of such societies had myths of gods mating with earth women to create divine beings like Gilgamesh, Helen of Troy, and Hercules. While these stories maybe highly symbolic they still reflect a basic belief. Do you really think that cavemen suddenly had the capacity to build pyramids and tools. No, they were taught by the aliens which were eventually remembered as gods. There are myths that speak of how the gods were able to BREATHE ON EARTH suggesting that they wore space gear when coming from outer space. Ever seen ancient art? There are images of beings that look like a combination of odd creatures wearing what appears to be modern day space gear. Look this stuff up it's in my books. Furthermore ask yourselves why we are SO DIFFERENT from any other species on earth. We walk upright, have opposable thumbs, and can think logically. The missing link in evolution has been found. We are actually descendants from marshans. This doesn't take away religion either. In fact if you look at creation stories from this point of view you'll realize that the gods or God who created us lived outside of our planet and there wasn't an evolutionary process.

stop reading more into what I type than what is there

[Gustaf]

What a stupid poll.

Though bland generalizations are what I expect from Phknrocket1k. What else can one expect from a would-be economist?

I realized it might be necessary to point out what's funny since it took me a while, but it's the classic act of attacking generalization with a generalization.

[King]

The awkward silence when someone says they're voting Tory.

Gives me an idea....

'The disbelieving stare when someone says they are still going to vote Labour.'

The pretencious giggle when someone says they're a Lib Dem.

[Vosem]

THEY WERE HERE!!!!!!! The marshians came into contact with our first civilizations because their planet was no longer livable. They mated with earth women in certain cultures which created the first beliefs in celestial beings which would become known as gods in Egypt, Mesopotamia, Babylon, and eventually Greece and Rome. Most of such societies had myths of gods mating with earth women to create divine beings like Gilgamesh, Helen of Troy, and Hercules. While these stories maybe highly symbolic they still reflect a basic belief. Do you really think that cavemen suddenly had the capacity to build pyramids and tools. No, they were taught by the aliens which were eventually remembered as gods. There are myths that speak of how the gods were able to BREATHE ON EARTH suggesting that they wore space gear when coming from outer space. Ever seen ancient art? There are images of beings that look like a combination of odd creatures wearing what appears to be modern day space gear. Look this stuff up it's in my books. Furthermore ask yourselves why we are SO DIFFERENT from any other species on earth. We walk upright, have opposable thumbs, and can think logically. The missing link in evolution has been found. We are actually descendants from marshans. This doesn't take away religion either. In fact if you look at creation stories from this point of view you'll realize that the gods or God who created us lived outside of our planet and there wasn't an evolutionary process.

Interestingly enough, this post makes legitimate sense in context.

[Lief 🗽]

I once tried to rig a mock election; damn farmers children ruined everything by rigging it better than I did... though I'd have gotten away with it had the other kid counting the votes not betrayed me.

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

I once tried to rig a mock election; damn farmers children ruined everything by rigging it better than I did... though I'd have gotten away with it had the other kid counting the votes not betrayed me.

Scooby Dooby Doo!

[The Mikado]

No

Click, read the title of the thread.

[Marokai Backbeat]

Who would have expected Crist to be on top in this interracial three-way?

[Landslide Lyndon]

" I have a package that needs careful handling...."

[King]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Your post formatting sucks as bad as your logic.

[The Mikado]

A young herring has set a sharpshooting record?

An old joke, but serviceable.