Update Thread and Other Ramblings by BushOklahoma

[Mr. Morden]

OK, sorry for bringing in something from another thread, but:

My girlfriend is bi-polar....

All the more reason why you should be more cautious about rushing into marriage with her.  Does she have depressive episodes?  Has she had one since you started dating, or have you both been on a high the whole time?  You really need to know what you're getting into.  To offer a personal anecdote, I have a good friend who, after a lengthy engagement to a woman with bipolar disorder, had the wedding called off by her just three weeks before it was scheduled to take place, because of a fight they had over money.

Of course, I'm not suggesting that this is necessarily going to happen to you.  But it seems like, by rushing into discussions of marriage with her, you're increasing the risk that your first fight is going to blow up the entire relationship.

[Mr. Morden]

Have you talked about how many kids you will have?

We haven't gotten that far, yet.

What about what their names will be, and what birthdays you're aiming for?  Have you figured out what pre-school you would like to send your kids to yet?

[Mr. Morden]

This will be a great test for me and since we're just starting out as friends, not even technically BF/GF, we won't be tempted to go too fast.

I'm planning a May or June proposal.

[Mr. Morden]

Morden, maybe you should create an Intrade page for this. 

I would, but I can't in good conscience take bets on potential disaster befalling a member of Atlas.  OTOH, I guess I could forbid bets against the wedding happening, and just take bets on the timing, assuming it happens.  Hmmm......I don't know.  I'm not sure BushOK would be OK w/ a thread titled "Guess what month BushOK gets married".

[Mr. Morden]

So the wedding date is next April?  lol

Like I said, Toyota approves.

Yes, we are looking at probably Saturday, April 2, 2011 so it can still be in the Easter season which is 3 weeks later, without intruding too much on Easter.

Well, I wish you an early happy negative first anniversary.

Also, are you going to plan the timing of your children this way too?  "Sorry, but you can't have the baby on Thursday, because of my second cousin's 23rd birthday.  You're going to have to hold it in."

[Mr. Morden]

This is not going to be another episode of "speed dating", LOL!!
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This will be a great test for me and since we're just starting out as friends, not even technically BF/GF, we won't be tempted to go too fast.

The friend that put Susan and I together has a squeaky clean past as does her husband.  This friend is also not going to let us go too fast!!

You better be thinking after Labor Day to even think of proposal man.

I'm definitely thinking no earlier than October.
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I just want to get to know her better right now and then if things develop between us, then we can head in that direction.  That's why I am saying no earlier than October to give us the entire Spring and Summer to just date without having any hardcore planning.

She did bring up the "future" today, and she wants to wait until this Thanksgiving or Christmas, at the earliest, before we advance any further and until late 2011 or early 2012 before we tie the knot if things go that far.

I will say that we have started talking about the future more and more and where and when do we go from here.  We both agree that any advancement won't happen until late this summer at the earliest or more likely mid-fall.
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I respect her too much, though, to propose to her any earlier than August or September.

She is going to go with me to pick out Susan's ring sometime in either March or April and then I've got a little something up my sleeve in way of proposal sometime in May or June.

Again, while we are committed to each other and FWIW engaged, I am still going to wait until closer to her birthday in early October before proposing to her and then wait until around my birthday in late April 2011 to wed.  Maybe I'm calloused, but I still don't see it rushing.  We're only going to make very small wedding plans over the summer mainly just getting the date, venue, and preacher set.  We pretty much already know who's going to be in it, but won't really discuss that for a few months.  Now, I will admit that if I did propose to her in May as was my plan, than yeah that would be rushing it a little.

I don't think she'll be ready by this Easter for a proposal, which I completely understand.  She wants me to wait until this fall, I wanted to do it in April, so I'm thinking about splitting the difference and making it the Fourth of July.

I am officially going to propose to her sometime in late June or early July, maybe July 4.

I am going to take her to buy the ring next Saturday and then I'm going to put it on her finger in June.

I'm planning a May or June proposal.  I'm leaning more toward mid to late May...

We went and purchased the ring tonight, a beautiful 14 karat white gold diamond ring.  We're going to pick it up next Saturday.  She also wants me to propose to her the same evening!!!  So, engagement will begin on Saturday, April 3, 2010.

The most retrospectively amusing comments are in bold.

[Mr. Morden]

Christmas -> Thanksgiving -> October -> September/August -> July 4th -> May/June -> Mid May -> April 3rd.

σ_σ

Actually, it's slightly more complicated than that, as he moved it up to "May or June", and then moved it back to October before moving it earlier again.

My favorite was when he said on March 1st that he would propose in October, and conceded "if I did propose to her in May as was my plan, than yeah that would be rushing it a little", and then 13 days later said that he was leaning towards a proposal in mid to late May.

I also liked it when he said on Feb. 14th "I respect her too much, though, to propose to her any earlier than August or September", and then, 11 days later, started talking about proposing in May or June.  OK, so much for "respecting her too much".

[Mr. Morden]

Now, before you bash me over the head again yelling "too soon", hold your fire and be respectful in your remarks, please.

I am not going to bash you for moving too fast.  But surely you can understand why so many of us are laughing at some of your commentary, given how you keep giving us updates on your engagement timeline that shift every week, where at each point you say something like "Oh yeah, I'm waiting until September, to go earlier than that would be rushing it", then a week later you're saying something like "Oh yeah, I'm waiting until July, to go earlier than that would be rushing it".

I mean, for goodness sake, you yourself said that you "respect her too much" to propose earlier than August.  Then, 11 days later, you're talking about proposing in May or June.  And you keep making statements like that, and then backing out of them.  Given that, should it really be any surprise that so many people are making jokes about your marriage timeline in this thread?

[Mr. Morden]

LOL!!  And, as it stands right now, we are 1 year 90 minutes from our wedding day, which is Saturday, April 2, 2011!!

We're thinking definitely a 2011 wedding, or, possibly an Easter 2012 wedding.

2012?  Is the wedding going to be the opposite of the engagement?  Instead of constantly moving the timeframe earlier, the wedding will keep getting pushed back?

[Mr. Morden]

You should have been giving us live updates via twitter or something.

[Mr. Morden]

i propozd
she sed yes
candulite dinner
candle fel over strted fire
PantsBurnLegWound

[Mr. Morden]

We are officially engaged to be married!!

Congrats.

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What time?

Even if you don't invite us, I think you should do a webcast of the event, so we can do live commentary on Atlas.

[Mr. Morden]

I would like to know if you told her that you post on this site before she agreed to marry you.   

I mean, are you eventually going to show her this thread?  What if she finds herself websurfing, and stumbles across this thread on her own?

[Mr. Morden]

April 2011: 500/1
March 2011: 300/1
February 2011: 50/1
January 2011: 10/1
July-December 2010: 750/1 *
June 2010: 5/4
May 2010: 2/1
April 2010: 3/1


* Outside chance; focus on Christmas.

What about later dates?  Like I said before, I could imagine the wedding being the opposite of the engagement, where it keeps getting delayed and delayed.

[Mr. Morden]

I told her tonight I will not go any earlier than March 1 as I want to have time to plan our special day without rushing ourselves.

Well, as long as you're not rushing.

[Mr. Morden]

Will you post updates on the relationship even after the wedding?  I mean, are you going to tell us how the honeymoon goes, and so on?

[Mr. Morden]

I've already promised her for her 27th birthday in October 2011, I am going to take her to Branson, Missouri to spend the weekend!!

Whoa, you're really living it up there.  Branson, Missouri?  If you're going to go that far, why not visit the Great Wall of China or the Eiffel Tower?

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You've only made it to the planning of your first anniversary?  I was expecting that you'd be investigating retirement homes by now.  You're only some four decades away from retirement.

[Mr. Morden]

What your plans for your 50-year anniversary in 2061?  Vacation on Mars?  Driving your fusion-powered hovercar across North America in an afternoon?  Visiting the World War III Memorial in DC?  Uploading copies of your memories onto the global computer network?

[Mr. Morden]

Let me put in a disclaimer before I get called out on this:  I am not wishing her Grandmother's passing, nor am I trying to rush it.  She is a great lady, but I honestly think she probably has no more than a couple years left.  She turned 84 on March 30, and I think she may see 86 years young, but I'm not seeing her push too deep into her late 80s.  My grandmother on the other hand turned 84 on April 24 (which incidentally puts her 85th birthday on Easter Sunday 2011), is in much better health and I easily see her push into her late 80s or even early 90s.

According to this actuarial table:

http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/STATS/table4c6.html

a woman who makes it to 84 has, on average, 7 years left.  Unless she has specific potentially fatal health issues, there's no reason to think that she's only two years away from death.

[Mr. Morden]

I was reading through and noticed there WILL NOT be alcohol at this wedding? Are you  guys f**king insane? Would it be alright if I brought several flasks of whiskey, bourbon and rum? The idea of a wedding without booze is ridiculous! I may not even sleep well tonight.

Nope, no alcohol!!  For one, it is not allowed on church grounds.  Two, neither one of us drink.  Third, if there is any alcohol it might be a little red wine at dinner after the wedding.  I do plan to take her to a nice restaurant to celebrate our first meal as a married couple.  Thankfully, our flight for Orlando doesn't leave until 1:47 Sunday afternoon, April 10, which means we don't need to be at the airport until 11:30, so we can sleep off any effects of the wine and whatever else happens that night.

You do realize that airlines frequently make slight adjustments in departure times, especially when the flight is 9 months away?  What will happen to your elaborate plans if the flight ends up being rescheduled for 1:42 rather then 1:47???