The Ilvie Picayune-Bee & Journal & Wire Service

[ilikeverin]

Wire

D1
=====
NYGOP (UAC-NY) 11
Defarge (D-NY) 12

D2
=====
Bono (R-NH) 7
Umengus (D-VT) 5

D3
=====
KucinichForPrez (G-MI) 1
MasterJedi (R-WI) 6
Nym90 (D-MI) 9

D4
=====
StatesRights (SRP-FL) 11
Write-in: Ronald Reagan (R-TX) 2

D5
=====
JFK (UAC-CA) 11
Write-in: Lewis Trondheim (UL-HI) 1
Write-in: Jesus (JCP-WA) 1

Don't ya worry, I didn't copy these results   If you do use them, reference [Ilvie].

Times-Picayune-Bee-Journal

The Picayune-Bee & Journal is pleased with the Districts 3 and 5 results, neutral on the district 1 results, and are unhappy with the District 2 and 4 results.  The PB&J is unhappy with the candidates in those elections, and expresses its regrets that no better candidates offered their candidacy.

[Gabu]

Jesus is in the "Jesus Christ Party", if I remember correctly.  Of course, maybe he's writing in Jesus the actual guy, I don't know.

Also, you should call yourself the Picayune-Bee & Journal, then you could use the acronym "PB&J".

[ilikeverin]

Good one!

[Jake]

ILV, what does your name mean?

[Gabu]

He likes Verin, apparently.

[Jake]

He likes Verin, apparently.

Hopefully I won't sound like an ass, but who is Verin?

[StevenNick]

He likes Verin, apparently.

Hopefully I won't sound like an ass, but who is Verin?

It's a character from a book.  We've already had this discussion at least once before.

[Jake]

He likes Verin, apparently.

Hopefully I won't sound like an ass, but who is Verin?

It's a character from a book.  We've already had this discussion at least once before.

Missed that one.

[ilikeverin]

PB&J

Advertisement Section

Want to advertise a new organization?  A new company?  Anything?  Rent a space here in the PB&J!  Call 1-800-ILVIPBJ, or rent space online at www.theilviepicayunebeeandjournaliscoolandiwanttorentspace.net

=====

Looking for a job?  But a job you really don't want to be that responsible in, but still get paid?  Join the Ilvie Picayune-Bee & Journal Today!  No manditory turn-in dates.  No amounts of articles a week!  Work at your own leisure... and you get a free mention as a staff member!  Call 1-800-IWANTAJOBATTHEPBANDJTODAY or visit www.iwantajobatthereallycoolnewspapertheilviepicayunebeeandjournalsoillapplyrightnow.tl.  (Also looking for wire reporters to write wire reports)

====

The LSLL (League of Suburban Latte Liberals) is looking for more organizations to join this national organization.  We are loosely affiliated with the AFL-CIO, but who cares, we're socially liberal and economically center-left to center!  We accept applications from anyone who is Liberal, although we appreciate it if you live in the suburbs.

[ilikeverin]

Freedom of Speech vs. Freedom of the Press
General Secretary Al, Time Magazine, VP-Elect Keystone Phil, Secretary of State Hermit locked in bitter, confusing battle

I'M NOT ENTIRELY SURE, ATLASIA- Fresh off a surprisingly good showing in last weekend's election, General Secretary Al is already finding himself in a fight with the current and future administration.

The trouble started when the Time Magazine released its supposed person of the year.  This was at the behest of one Ronald Reagan, the perennial Republican runner-up.

But Al could not accept this.  'I hearby [sic] ban Time Magazine from this state until it quites [sic] being an ultra-partisan AF GOP rag.'

However, Hermit found fault with this, and published an editorial, by himself, blasting Al's decision.  Quote, 'One of the most basic tenets of Atlasian society came under attack in West Virginia today, as self-proclaimed “Mayor” Al banned Time Magazine...the magazine featured newly-elected Paul Brunsel as Person of the Year.'  The editorial quotes Vice-President Elect Keystone Phil as saying, 'He lost an election and wants to attack those who had no ill will towards him, his union movement or his campaign for President...I always respected Al even when I disagreed with him. After seeing what I've seen today, my opinion has changed.'

Al blasted back, accusing Secretary of State Hermit of libel, quoting such lines as, 'One has to wonder, who is Al’s leftist role model? Marx? Lenin? At this point, the likeliest candidate seems to be Stalin.' and 'We can not let this aggression against our sacred freedoms stand.'  The situation was further escalated by the publishing of the article in the newly founded National Atlasian.  One can only wonder where this situation will lead next.

[minionofmidas]

I miss a (sic) after "Brunsel". Reagan's Time Magazine (since when does Ron Reagan jr publish Time Magazine?) referred to Mr Brunsel as Mr "PBrunsel". When contacted, he replied "Who cares?"

[Filuwaúrdjan]

NEWSFLASH:

General Secretary Al has taken legal advice and is confident that in the real world, the offending article is libel (the clincher is the Stalin comment).
He apparently wants to know whether the Atlas actually has any libel laws or whether they could be set up via Common Law.

[minionofmidas]

Apparently not (America doesn't have libel laws) and apparently not (America doesn't have common law).

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Apparently not (America doesn't have libel laws) and apparently not (America doesn't have common law).

Doesn't it? Bugger. Well I'd win if the case was over here. I think I'll ask for an apology over the Stalin remark (no way in hell is that not defamation) though

[Hermit]

I'll retract the Stalin remark when you retract the banning.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

I'll retract the Stalin remark when you retract the banning.

Hmm... I'll retract the banning if Time Magazine IF a new "Man of the Year" is chosen by a Multi-Partisan Jury of some description... and if said decision is based on merit and not Reaganfan's method (ie: PBrunsel=Republican President=Must win award because he's a Republican)

[Hermit]

Hmm... I'll retract the banning if Time Magazine IF a new "Man of the Year" is chosen by a Multi-Partisan Jury of some description... and if said decision is based on merit and not Reaganfan's method (ie: PBrunsel=Republican President=Must win award because he's a Republican)

I too didn't like what you call the Reaganfan Method, but even if a periodical is a blatantly partisan work, there's still no reason to ban it.

[ilikeverin]

The Ilvie Picayune-Bee & Journal is pleased to announce the following endorsement for the upcoming District 2 (or is it 1? :S) special election (barring any unforseen additional candidates):

1) Siege40
2) Mas117
3) Badnarikin04

[Colin]

The Ilvie Picayune-Bee & Journal is pleased to announce the following endorsement for the upcoming District 2 (or is it 1? :S) special election (barring any unforseen additional candidates):

1) Siege40
2) Mas117
3) Badnarikin04

Its District 2. Complete opposite of the National Atlasian.

[bgwah]

Jesus is in the "Jesus Christ Party", if I remember correctly.  Of course, maybe he's writing in Jesus the actual guy, I don't know.

Also, you should call yourself the Picayune-Bee & Journal, then you could use the acronym "PB&J".

I was voting for myself but I wasn't really running. I can't vote for someone from the UAC, especially JFK.

[ilikeverin]

The Ilvie PB&J releases the following endorsements:

District 1: Well, they're both very good; that's why I'm not endorsing anyone!  So I endorse going out to vote, no matter who you vote for
District 2: Siege40 is the obvious choice here.
District 3: Al (D-WV) over Texasgurl (R-WI) (sorry, couldn't resist)
District 4: Both candidaes are so-so, but we endorse... uhh... n/m.  No endorsement.  I can't decide
District 5: Gabu

[Colin]

The Ilvie PB&J releases the following endorsements:

District 1: Well, they're both very good; that's why I'm not endorsing anyone!  So I endorse going out to vote, no matter who you vote for
District 2: Siege40 is the obvious choice here.
District 3: Al (D-WV) over Texasgurl (R-WI) (sorry, couldn't resist)
District 4: Both candidaes are so-so, but we endorse... uhh... n/m.  No endorsement.  I can't decide
District 5: Gabu

Problem is Texasgurl isn't a Republican. Talk about the most indicisive endorsements ever.

[ilikeverin]

The Ilvie PB&J releases the following endorsements:

District 1: Well, they're both very good; that's why I'm not endorsing anyone!  So I endorse going out to vote, no matter who you vote for
District 2: Siege40 is the obvious choice here.
District 3: Al (D-WV) over Texasgurl (R-WI) (sorry, couldn't resist)
District 4: Both candidaes are so-so, but we endorse... uhh... n/m.  No endorsement.  I can't decide
District 5: Gabu

Problem is Texasgurl isn't a Republican.

Well, she certainly acts like it

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Hmm, I just read who sponsored the Marijuana Legalization Bill.

I endorse Supersoulty in D1

[Siege40]

District 2: Siege40 is the obvious choice here.

Thanks... is it good to be obvious?

Siege

[Gabu]

District 5: Gabu

Thank you for your endorsement.