JSojourner
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Posts: 11,510
Political Matrix
E: -8.65, S: -6.94
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« on: February 22, 2010, 08:36:25 AM » |
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...and then allow (mercifully) the forum to return to normal.
This first post is the letter of apology I sent to the mods. It is late in coming because I wasn't sure what the mods wanted -- if they preferred I post this, or that they post it and just ban me outright. I was willing to accept either. I also had some personal obligations to attend to Sunday that delayed any lengthy time frame in which to sign on.) The second item answers the question one of them asked about why. (I was reluctant to offer this for reasons I shall enumerate.)
02-20-10
Hi Al,
I presume you are the person I should address this email to, since you discovered the two sock accounts. This will be my final entry here. (sidenote: I have private apologized to two people in particular who I have grown close to here.)
I apologize to everyone, friend and foe alike. I particularly apologize to Joe, Al, Sam and anyone else for whom this drama created extra work.
I agree with every negative remark that has been made and if you take the harshest comment (I have read all the threads now -- as of 2/20 --, and all I can say is a couple people are being too generous), I agree completely that the criticism fits. I want to offer an explanation that might show me in a slightly more favorable light, at least in the minds of the people I most care about and who most care about me.
But I won’t. (sidenote: after several requests, I have decided to post an "explanation" of how this all came about. Because several people have asked.) Still --- if this were Libertas, Jew Con, Az Magic or CJK writing this letter, I surely wouldn’t believe their explanation. I expect to be judged with the same judgment. It’s only fair. I don’t like excuses, whether they come from Bill Clinton or Larry Craig. So none are offered.
If I know the forum at all, I suspect there is presently much debate about what to do. May I suggest the following?
1. I will leave and not return under any circumstance, using any old or new account.
2. I will accept, indeed ask, that this IP be banned in perpetuity. And if there is anything else that can be done on the mods’ end to insure that I do not return, I will gladly accept this.
I so want to explain how all this came about, but if this were someone else sitting here apologizing, and I were reading it, I know beyond any shadow of a doubt, I would not believe or accept it. I would call them a douchebag. Well, if the shoe fits…
If you can think of something else I can do to make it up to the community, please let me know. Short of never returning, I can’t think of anything. That much, I can and will do. This is important: No one should blame any of the mods if I leave or am banned. I am responsible.
Al, I am copying one forum member in particular on this with nothing additional, except an email address. (As you can appreciate, I’ve no desire for the email addy to be made public.) But though I owe the entire community the above apology, I owe one particular person much more. I’ve quite a few pals on the forum, but this fellow has become a friend. I am tacking on my email to him, so I can offer him a more personal apology. He said he feels used. That was never my intent, but he has every right to feel that way. And if he cannot forgive me, well, I deserve that.
Another regular poster, who is a far better Christian than me, once referred to me as a hypocrite. He was, and is, correct. (Addition: Jmfcst politely pointed out to me very early that I had an issue with hatred in my heart. It may be hate for what people had done to me or others I care about but it was hate. And no matter what the offense, hate has no place in the heart of a self-proclaimed Christian. How I wish I had listened to him! He was right. This painful episdoe, this humiliation, was what it took -- rather than the gentle prompting of a friend -- to show me that. I am living proof that being passionate about the dignity and rights of some people does not insulate you from hating other people...even if some of them do awful things. Jmfcst, thank you for bearing witness to the truth about this.)
Jim
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