2000 Republican Convention Day 3:
Tim Russert: “Katie, no matter how hard the Republicans try to shake it around they are getting into 1968 Democratic Convention territory. They haven’t nominated anyone as of yet and if this keeps up the party could be in a huge mess. With Trump around as a viable candidate it will not be a two horse race. They need to be united as possible because if not they will not get anywhere. If they stay stuck after day 4 without a nominee two things will happen: 1. A comprise candidate like in the 1800’s or 2. A disillusioned party behind an unwanted candidate if Bush gets the nomination. Either way the Republicans are in rough shape.”
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Newt Gingrich: John I called you here today to propose a truce. We have enough power to get you the nomination. We will give you Georgia, Florida, the Carolinas and Delaware at least but here’s what we want in play:
1.A deep tax cut for our true base, the wealthy.
2.Increased military spending.
3. Return to Reagan era polices.
In a nutshell we want in and to make all the decisions. If we decide to evade Iraq over oil we will do so and we will win. If we tell you to wear diaper you have to do so. So what do you say John, are you in?
McCain: Is this a joke Newt? Seriously?
Gingrich: No we are dead serious. John we advise you to tread lightly here because your future relies on your decision. If you decline George Bush will defiantly say yes in fact he already has.
McCain: Newt you know me well enough by now for me not to accept this. I cannot operate as a puppet. We have some serious issues here and they need to be fixed. We need a clear and steady mind in charge. Bush as we all know is a moron and a puppet. We cannot elect him our country will go to hell in a handbasket.
Gingrch: I know wouldn’t that be delicious? We can then fix it in 2008 just for kicks.
McCain: Have you lost your mind Newt?
Gingrich: No I’m right and you will be if you say yes. One more chance.
McCain: ........ Hell no Newt. I will not be bought off and I’m disgusted by this.
Gingrich: Well thanks anyways, be prepared to watch your following die away.
McCain: Well the joke’s on you Newt. I have this whole conversation recorded and you cannot get to it. I suggest YOU tread lightly.
Gingrich: Alright John what do you want?
McCain: I don’t want anything I’m done this has seriously sickened me. But I do promise one thing if you, Bush, Cheney or any of those idiots do anything to insult me or my supporters this tape will go out and an avalanche will fall. No get out of here.
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McCain: Cindy come here.
Cindy: How did it go John?
McCain: I’m done.
Cindy: What?!
McCain: I’m done, those idiots tried to buy me off and I couldn’t take any more of it. I have it recorded to.
Cindy: Do what?
McCain: Yeah Gingrich wanted to make me a puppet for him and his cronies. They offered me everything but I can’t live that way dear. I can’t do it. Let that idiot Bush run and somehow loose. Trump isn’t so crazy after all.
Cindy: What are you saying John?
McCain: I’m considering endorsing Trump. He can get enough votes for cost that idiot the election to Gore. Then in 2004 I can return triumpthant.
Cindy: You can’t do this.
McCain: Yes I will and am. But right now I don’t feel so good.
Cindy: What’s wrong?
(McCain then pukes all over the bed and falls over.)
Cindy: JOHN!
TO BE CONTINUED....
Poll
