In the meantime he's downloading some album torrents to listen to during it.
Illegal per the DMCA, if the music is copyrighted.
He finishes the paper and goes to download some porn.
Also illegal if it's copyrighted and he's not downloading from the actual website. Would also be illegal if he's under 18 (I knew some college freshmen that were 17!).
The first video he gets has a very young looking girl who could easily be underage.
Illegal if the girl was actually underage.
He then goes off to the refrigerator to grab a beer when his friend calls.
Possibly illegal, if he's underage, depending on the state's law.
He tells him to come down to a nearby house where him and another friend are at a party.
There's a crime here if anyone at the party was drinking underage (and if the music was loud enough to violate local ordinances)
So he heads off, only to find his other friend there is so drunk he's gotten naked and is streaking across the party.
Possibly illegal, depending on the state/locality's public indecency laws.
He then suggests they head to a strip club, but since one member of the group is under 21
Providing alcohol to a minor/contributing to the delinquency of a minor
Along the way the drunk begs him to pull over so he can piss on the side of the road.
This is public indecency or whatever if he actually did it.
The girl on stage has smuggled some alcohol in despite it being a non-alcoholic club, and is a bit drunk and stumbling around.
Illegal to have alcohol in the non-alcoholic club. Possibly also public drunkenness, maybe?
At this point the drunk friend starts feeling like he's about to throw up. He rushes to the bathroom but it's very crowded, so he runs outside.
He waves at her and being drunk herself she stops to wave at him clearly visible through the glass door.
Public indecency, if any of her naughty bits were showing through the glass
He then starts puking.
The drunk friend drinks some but then drops the bottle spilling everywhere. They decide he's too drunk to stay here, so opt to leave.
Littering, if they left the bottle.
However at this point the other member of the group is still in the club and decided to get a lapdance in the backroom from one of the strippers. Back there she offers to break the rules and lets him fondle her. She even discreetly lets him suckle on her nipples clearly against the rules.
Violates whatever laws govern strip clubs; possibly prostitution as well since he presumably payed for the lap dance.
Upon entering town they stop at a red light when there is a huge shake in the car. The driver gets out and finds out he was rear-ended by the guy behind them. The guy apologizes, points out that it was still a very slow speed and that there is no damage to the car, before getting back in his car and driving off when it turns green. The driver decides there is no damage so he gets back in and drives off to drop off his friends.
Exiting the vehicle to inspect the accident while remaining in the intersection might be a violation of those traffic laws that require you to remove an accident vehicle from the flow of traffic if it's not too damaged.
Also, the other driver committed a hit and run because he left before it was really acceptable for him to do so. He'd also have to do an improper lane change to get around the car in front of him.
Once in the room and undressed, the masseuse comes in and offers him that she'll do the massage naked for an extra tip. He agrees. She gives him a massage and at the end squirts some lotion into his hand and tells him he's free to masturbate while she watches, which he does. She then tosses him a towel to clean off. He does so, gets dressed and leaves.
Violation of whatever laws govern massage parlors, certainly, plus prostitution probably.
While doing so he can clearly hear that in the other room they are having sex. He gets back in his car and drives home.
Same as above.