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Author Topic: The Porcupine: The most trusted name in news.  (Read 8077 times)
Хahar
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« Reply #25 on: August 09, 2010, 12:50:46 am »
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It's a žorn, not a double-sided b!
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The idea of parodying the preceding Atlasian's postings is laughable, of course, but not for reasons one might expect.
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« Reply #26 on: August 09, 2010, 10:22:33 am »
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It's a žorn, not a double-sided b!

There's also a list of acceptable transliterations in a proposal I created earlier, and you used none of them Angry
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Chief Judicial Officer of the Most Serene Republic of the Midwest, registered in the State of Joy, in Atlasia
Recognized National Treasure of Atlasia
Dallasfan65
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« Reply #27 on: August 09, 2010, 11:12:49 pm »
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Interview with Oakvale
by Dallasfan65

Question 1: So, despite being relatively new to Atlasia, you quickly ascended to the Governor's mansion. When you first registered, what were your expectations?

Answer: I don't know, really. I wasn't very ambitious at first, I was just checking out the game. Smiley

I got involved in Atlasia proper when Antonio V signalled that he'd be resigning and it was suggested that I run for the Lt. Governor's position. I thought that being Lt. Governor of the Pacific would be an interesting diversion, and give me something to do now and again.

Needless to say, I certainly didn't expect to become Governor soon, if ever.

Question 2:
Recently, Xahar launched a challenge against you. How do you feel the campaign has been so far?

Uneventful, in a word, at least so far, but that's the Pacific for you. It's, uh, pacific.

Fortunately, Jbrase has offered to host a debate between Xahar and I that I look forward to, so hopefully that will liven things up a bit. I'm glad that I've got someone to run against, which is more than you can say for the Pacific a lot of the time...

I should add that I'm optimistic about my chances of winning the election, but I'm not taking it for granted by any means. I'm hoping to use the debate as a platform to make a clear case for re-electing (or just plain electing, in my case) ArchangelZero and I.

Dallas: That's good - I hope you guys run a clean campaign.

Question 3: Under your tenure, there's been an increase in activity in the Pacific - including a Pacific Hiring Incentives Act passed. Are there other things you feel that the Pacific ought to address, within the region?

Answer: There's a lot of issues we need to address, obviously. The unemployment problem springs to mind - the PHIA is a step in the right direction, but we need to go further.  One thing I'm going to do in the coming weeks is trawl through the region's statute looking for any particularly egregious regulation we can roll back in an effort to make the Pacific more business friendly, and, ergo, increase hiring.

On another level, I've proposed creating a dedicated government position to manage wiki articles relating to the Pacific. I'm going to wait until I'm elected in my own right before introducing the relevant legislation, but I think it's a good idea, and, if it works, the federal government should pay attention.

I'm also toying with the idea of bringing back the long abolished Pacific Chief Justice position, but that could be messy...

Question 4: What are your thoughts on the Purple State Administration?

Answer: I certainly approve overall.

I entered Atlasia during the unfortunately inactive term of alfeitch's Presidency, so it's a welcome change to have an engaged administration. Smiley

There have been stumbles, of course - Secretary Constine's gaffe on the French burqa ban, for example, the appointment of a Maoist to a government position - but overall I thik PS and co are doing a fine job.

That said, how the ConCon turns out will ultimately define Purple State's administration, so I, like others, will be waiting to see the results.

Question 5: Assuming you get re-elected as Governor, what are your future plans in Atlasia? Any higher aspirations?

Answer: I imagine that the thought of higher office of some kind crosses every Atlasian's mind at some point, but, for now, I'm happy working as Governor of the Pacific.

I did briefly consider running for the Senate as Lt. Governor, but that was before I ascended to the Governor's mansion, so that obviously became irrelevant.

At some point in the future, I wouldn't rule out a run for national office, but that's all academic at this stage. Wink


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« Reply #28 on: August 10, 2010, 01:46:53 am »
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Interview with Xahar
by Dallasfan65

Question 1: It is well known that there is a rivalry between you and the Jesus Christ Party. What, would you say, is the cause of this?

Answer:
Well, when I joined Atlasia I saw that the JCP controlled my home region. I found the idea of that monolithic control rather repulsive, particularly with an organization named after its leader. I resolved to oppose that, and the Dear Leader tolerates no opposition, so the breach was inevitable.

Question 2:
Recently, you declared your candidacy against the incumbent Governor, Oakvale. What are your thoughts on the campaign thus far, and what would you plan to do as Governor?

Answer:
I wish there could be a campaign, but given that my defeat is inevitable, a campaign seems like a waste of time. If by some sort of warp in the space-time continuum I were elected, I would try to replace the Legislature with a real elective Legislature. The way it is now, a small clique of active voters and JCP zombies controls the Legislature, and voter interest and participation are both low. Even in the rare cases where that is not the case, as in the recent election for a delegate to the Constitutional Convention, voter knowledge is practically nil. For that reason, the Pacific recently embarrassed itself by sending a zombie to the Constitutional Convention on the back of the zombie vote. Nor is this a new problem: when I came to Atlasia, I did not even know I was allowed to vote in the Legislature. I am sure that the same is true for many new Pacificans. Elections to a small legislature would allow new Pacificans to get involved in the process and also give lawmaking to a representative sample of the people, rather than whoever is involved enough to vote or reliable enough to be PMed to vote.

Question 3:
You previously ran for President of Atlasia in February 2010 - what was the experience like?

Answer:
It wasn't as rewarding as I had hoped, obviously. I started out with high hoped, but by early February I had realized it wasn't happening. I really ran after that just to ccarry the LNF banner. Near the end, of course, we were beset by running-mate problems and such. But my loss wasn't exactly traumatizing (I'm no stranger to losing), and it was a good expeerience to be running a national campaign.

Question 4: What is your opinion of the Purple State administration?

Answer:
I was out of town last week, so I'm a bit out of the loop, but my opinion is generally positive. The jury is out on the Constitutional Convention, but the remainder of the legislative agenda has been, I think, unassailable.

The appointments, which sparked a furor when they were made, haven't been bad, either. Although I wish that Hashemite had had the opportunity to continue his work in the Department of External Affairs, I think that benconstine has done a commendable job as his replacement. He has demonstrated the same openness and determination that made his predecessor so good; I have had the opportunity to talk to him in the course of his work, and I would encourage others to avail themselves of the same.

Question 5: In the past, you were Governor of the Southeast. What is your opinion of the name change, and also of Ernest's lawsuit?

Answer: I think that both are amusing. The game needs some silliness from time to time, and this matter delivers.

Question 6: Finally... The Porcupine: Freedom Paper or Horrible Paper?

Answer: FP
« Last Edit: August 10, 2010, 01:48:53 am by Senator Dallasfan65 »Logged

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« Reply #29 on: August 10, 2010, 02:05:09 am »
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For that reason, the Pacific recently embarrassed itself by sending a zombie to the Constitutional Convention on the back of the zombie vote.



Perhaps it is not too late to prevent the fine folks over at the Constitutional Convention from finding out about all of this.  Nothing ruins an infiltration of zombies like a pesky know-it-all who just had to let the cat out of the bag.
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A tidal wave of healthcare has swept across coal country. 
Dallasfan65
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« Reply #30 on: August 10, 2010, 04:05:26 pm »
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Interview with Winston D'israeli
by Dallasfan65

Question 1: Recently, you were confirmed as Secretary of Internal Affairs. What made you desire the position, and how do you feel about your work so far?

Answer: Well, I had always wanted a role in the economy anyway, given that it was an area of special interest to me. So when Purple State offered me the position, I jumped at the chance to be SoIA. So far, I feel I've helped create some discussion of policy, but there is still plenty more work to be done and I look forward to working with the Cabinet upon it.

Question 2: Previously, you served as Senator. How would you describe your tenure in office, and what legislation during that session was your favorite?

Answer: Early on, while still a POP member, I authored much legislation to further the cause of that party. Afterwards however, I did very little simply because of the whole issue of me being 'illegitimate' or whatever. My favourite session was probably the one over oil nationalization, simply because it created vibrant discussion which I feel put new life into the Senate.

Question 3: In your earlier days, you were one of the first Atlasians to join the ARC. What was the experience like?

Answer:
Varied - It was enjoyable being part of a new force in Atlasian politics on one side, but at the same time, it was not very nice having the whole issue of Hamilton lurking over the party, and us not being recognized by... well... pretty much anyone as legitimate. Also, the whole party structure was pretty authoritarian. Hamilton was pretty much the Grand Poobah so it didn't allow for much independence.

Question 4:
Do you approve of your boss, thus far?

Answer: Well, if you're referring to Purple State, I'd say yeah overall. He's made a few compromises I would rather he hadnt, but overall he's proved to be a good president who has actually implemented new policy, which is always good to see. He's doing a good role of shaping the executive role in government.

Question 5: You recently moved to the Midwest Region. How do you like it?

Answer: It's been alright so far. A bit crazy but that's the Midwest for you Tongue Can't say I have any strong opinions either way as of yet.

Question 6: Finally... Dallasfan65, HP or MEGA HP?

Answer: Asking that question implies that this is in fact a two way choice, which is in fact a false dichtomy as there are a whole plethora of options which I may choose to hold about whether 'Dallasfan' is a 'HP' or 'MEGA-HP' [/gully]

Nah, you're an alright guy Tongue Bad politics, but can't be helped I guess Wink
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« Reply #31 on: September 12, 2010, 10:23:19 am »
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Interview with Sam Spade
by hantheguitarman

Question 1: You are currently the Chief Justice of the Atlasia Supreme Court. Is this the highest office that you plan to achieve in Atlasia?

I don't think the citizens of Atlasia would exactly want me in any higher office and I concur.

Besides, didn't you get the memo - this is the highest office in Atlasia!  Trying challenging my decisions.


Question 2: Ernest, a former legislator for the Imperial Dominion of the South has challenged the region's authority to change the title of it's chief executive from Governor to Emperor. What are your thoughts on the lawsuit? If you were to make a ruling on it, what way do you see yourself ruling?

I hate to make comments on pending litigation that might be before the Court, even though Ernest has presently not indicated any willingness to continue pursuing his case yet.

That being said, the titles themselves are quite stupid, imo.  Can't we revert to just naming our Region its proper name - the Confederate States of Atlasia?


Question 3: What are your thoughts on Junkie's Atlasia Law Journal? Do you agree with his articles?

I am happy to see someone trying to analyze and synthesize our decisions, as disjointed as they often look and seem.  Moreover, I was recently amused at being compared to Justice Stevens.  I don't know whether I agree with his articles, but that's not the point - rather, his ideas are quite valid and worthy of consideration, that says enough.

I am also quite grateful that he recently brought his case (which we ruled against him - see most powerful office strikes again!), because his arguments and certain parts of the Bono v. Atlasia II decision needed to be addressed, in my view.


In short, he should continue and do more, not less.

Question 4: What are your thoughts on the Purple State Administration? If you had to give them a grade, what grade would that be?

I don't agree with everything they've done, but at least they've been active and willing, more than I can say for a lot of administrations.  So I guess a B?

That being said, letting ilikeverin into the Constitutional Convention is pretty much one of the dumbest ideas ever.


Question 5: You currently reside in the Southeast/Dirty South, which is now known as the Imperial Dominion of the South. Do you approve of this name change?

See above - Jefferson Davis is rolling over in his grave at the sight of these changes.

Question 6: What are your thoughts on the current Constitutional Convention? Do you approve?

Most of the changes being made are superficial, rather than substantive changes, so if they pass, little will change.  I tend to be opposed to change, especially change without reason, so in general I support this.  But I think they could be doing more than just that in some places.

Of course, even those superficial changes, as I have examined them, will create important substantive changes that, as usual, the drafters are unaware of at this time.  Entirely expected.


Question 7: Pirates or Ninjas?

Pirates always struck me as a little bit fruity, since they're out on the sea all the time.  So, ninjas I guess, even though I don't like the Japanese and hated Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
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Dallasfan65
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« Reply #32 on: November 18, 2010, 06:18:48 pm »
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Bump.
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« Reply #33 on: June 27, 2012, 01:30:39 pm »
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Supreme Court and the IDS: The Front Lines of Atlasian Politics

The Supreme Court of Atlasia and the Imperial Dominion of the South are currently both the scenes of battles that will have a serious impact on the future of this great nation. In the court lies the potential for a Marxist-Tweedist coup that would oust President-elect Napoleon in favor of failed presidential hopeful Boss "Young" Tweed. Tweed cites the general welfare section of the Atlasian Constitution's preamble, claiming that it is the duty of the Supreme Court to declare Tweed the President-elect as Napoleon would go against the general welfare of the people (not to be confused with The People). The SoFE as well as most sane Atlasian call BS however and have faith the court will do the same.

In the IDS is an effort to extend southern voting rights to all southerners. The Southern Unity Amendment sponsored by Representative and former Emperor Jbrase would allow those who have been citizens of southern states outside the IDS for a certain period of time to participate in elections conducted by the IDS. While this has received mostly positive reviews it has also be viciously attacked Representative Duke who has fears of carpetbaggers ruining what he referrers to as 'The Dirty South'. Representative Duke, long opponent to the IDS's Cultural Revolution of Awesomeness, has been running has been running an exhausting schedule of debating the bill, protesting the bill outside the Capitol, an running skateboarders of the sidewalks by his house with a shotgun. Currently the Amendment is looking favored to pass in the Legislature.

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« Reply #34 on: June 27, 2012, 01:33:25 pm »
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Ironic, I was just thinking yesterday we needed some papers. Glad to see my favorite is back! Smiley
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« Reply #35 on: June 27, 2012, 01:57:22 pm »
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Gracias Smiley
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« Reply #36 on: June 27, 2012, 09:54:47 pm »
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It's good to see some new posts here! I especially like the interviews here. If the outlet is going to start doing them again, I'd gladly volunteer to answer questions. :]
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Senator Polnut
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« Reply #37 on: June 27, 2012, 10:46:47 pm »
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Good to see it back - obviously I will make myself available for interviews
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« Reply #38 on: June 27, 2012, 11:56:26 pm »
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Coming Soon: interviews with tmthfu94, Polnut, and Tweed!
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« Reply #39 on: June 27, 2012, 11:59:37 pm »
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I'd also like to do an interview as well
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« Reply #40 on: June 28, 2012, 05:35:25 pm »
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World Eagerly Awaits SC Ruling On IDS Trojan Act

Today we are expected to receive the long awaited ruling on the future of safe sex. Lat year the IDS passed the Trojan Act, expanding the amount of condoms available to college students in an effort to fight STI's. However earlier in the month in an unprovoked attack, agents of the federal government attacked and seized control 12 Imperial cities and attempted to rob the south of billions worth of property. Facing the arrest of all agents and possible criminal charges against Fuzzybigfoot the matter was instead taken to court where we await the ruling.

We would like to remind everyone that The Porcupine in the most trusted name in news. Our competition, "The People" meanwhile have this to say. "The People...do not support...giving...women...votes." Incredible stuff.
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« Reply #41 on: June 28, 2012, 05:52:22 pm »
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An Interview with Clarence
By Jbrase

Q. Thank you for taking the time do do an interview with the Porcupine. What are your future plans for Atlasia?
A. My pleasure, Jbrase- thanks for the interview. My plans are to continue to be an active Senator... I love the role and find the discussions to be interesting and I always learn something new, even when the votes don't go my way. When I was running for President- much of my time and attention went towards the campaign and I've now put much of that time to my role as a Senator which I enjoy very much. I am of course very passionate about issues involving the armed services, foreign policy, and education. I will continue to fight for what I believe in and make the conservative case as best I can

Q. You recently lost an election for president, making it to the final round and withing 11 votes of Napoleon. What were your personal expectations on election day(s)?
A. Before I made the decision to run- I spoke with many wise folks who gave me insight into the way things work with the elections. I was prepared from the start for an uphill battle and told the folks on my campaign- ZuWo, Yelnoc, etc- that the best we can do is try our darnedest. Well- we tried our darnedest and on election day I reckon we had as good a chance as any one else! After the election was halfway thru, it became clear we were the underdogs but I was happy to see us close the gap in the final hours. I am very proud of the final result and grateful to those who made it possible to come within reach of victory

Q. Currently Tweed is fighting the results in court and if successful will have essentially pulled of a Marxist coup. Would you support a Tweed government if he rose to power in this fashion?
A. I hope the Supreme Court rules in favor of the democratically elected President- my former opponent and friend Napoleon. I'm no expert on the board's constitution, but it seems if the Court rules for Tweed- we have no choice but to follow that decision and work to reform the court so it does not happen again. I've seen two bills- from Ben and from TJ- which have that intention already. However- as perhaps the person on this board who worked the hardest to prevent Napoleon from being elected, I find Tweed's case to be amusing but not convincing in the slightest. I also don't believe the theory some folks have put forward that there is a silent majority rooting for Tweed in this case- I believe folks want the will of the voters to be followed

Q. Everyone knows the Navy is the best branch. but what would you consider the second best?
A. Yes- every one does know that- you're right. I want to say first that I consider every one who has served or currently serves in our armed services to be kin to me and I love and respect them all. I put the Marines with us sailors since they're in our department, so the choice for me is between Army and Air Force. I've much respect for airmen and the critical role they have in preserving our nation's security- even more so today then when I served. However- at risk of angering dead0man I consider Army “second best” due to the experience I have serving with soldiers. I was a Seabee and our motto was “we build, we fight”... and much of my job involved construction (we build) but there were a few times I had to heed the second part of the motto. Fortunately- the first of these times I had soldiers by my side including some of the best trained warriors in the military- Rangers and Special Forces (I once made the mistake of referring to an Army Captain as a Green Beret and he informed me not very kindly that a green beret was something he wore, not something he was). Later on- I served on a Civic Action Team with both Marines and soldiers and the valor I witnessed was a thing of beauty. I owe my life to those men and will sing the praises of the Army every chance I get...

Q. Which was your favorite Darrin on Bewitched?
A. Because my wife once admitted she'd have left me for Dick York, I'm going to go with Sargent...

Q. The porcupine, great newspaper, or the greatest newspaper?
A. If it helps you sleep at night, Jbrase- greatest ;-)
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« Reply #42 on: June 28, 2012, 08:30:39 pm »
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Interview with President Polnut

Thank you for taking the time for an interview with The Porcupine.

Q. As you are in your final days of a presidency, what do you look back on as your greatest achievement and your greatest failure as President?
A. It's odd to look back and say "I should or could have done x or y" but I would say that I will back on this time and say I was disappointed that we couldn't get traction on regional financing reform. But honestly, I'm going to look back on my two terms with a degree of pride. I worked with Senate to put in place social service and health reforms to make them solvent for future generations. We put in place protections for those hit by predatory home lending, got our troops out of Iraq and Afghanistan, and our unemployment rate is down and we're on the edge of a Budget surplus two years ahead of schedule.


Q. In a move no one saw coming, Boss Tweed has sued your SoFE in hopes of taking the presidency. Who do you predict will be the next President of Atlasia?
A. Tweed is off his meds, Atlasia now longer needs and as the results show, want him. I'm confident the Supreme Court will ensure Governor Napoleon will take his rightful place as president in a week's time.

Q. Mick Dundee vs Steve Erwin
A. I hate both of them... but Dundee in a pinch.

Q. You have recently decided to sue the IDS over a law promoting safe sex. What is your issue with giving condoms to college students?
A. The Federal Government is suing the IDS for an unconstitutional element of the Bill. I'm fully supportive of greater availability of instruments for safe sex, but the IDS legislature made a choice that left us with no choice. I made an offer to the Emperor to amend that legislation to keep that element in place... but I've heard nothing in response.

Q. What are your future plans for Atlasia?
A. I made some declarative statements last year that I was made to regret. Times change and situations do too and what seemed a reasonable position suddenly seemed unrealistic.

I won't say that I have no future role in Atlasia, but what that is will be determined by the circumstances.


Q. How would you like a job as official interviewer for The Porcupine? Grin
A. That's a kind offer, but that's one I'll confidently pass on.
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« Reply #43 on: June 28, 2012, 09:03:46 pm »
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I would like to take the moment to vehemently deny that I have ceased to take any or all of my three prescribed psychiatric medications.
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there's no ghosts in the graveyard, that's not where they live
they live in between a, 'what is' and 'what if?'
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« Reply #44 on: June 28, 2012, 09:48:40 pm »
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Announcements
The porcupine is pleased to welcome are newest staff members, we are ready to announce 3 of them:
Tmthforu94 - Senior Analyst/Mideast Correspondent
SJoyce - Imperial Correspondent
Snowstalker - Northeast Correspondent 
« Last Edit: June 28, 2012, 11:42:09 pm by Jbrase »Logged

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« Reply #45 on: June 28, 2012, 10:15:15 pm »
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Glad to have not one, but two newspapers that will have an active regional correspondent in the NE. I hope that at least one paper will cover our ongoing debate over the Roscoe Conkling Equity Before the Law Act.
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« Reply #46 on: June 28, 2012, 11:42:55 pm »
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Glad to have not one, but two newspapers that will have an active regional correspondent in the NE. I hope that at least one paper will cover our ongoing debate over the Roscoe Conkling Equity Before the Law Act.
You can count on coverage from Atlasia's most trusted name in news. Smiley
« Last Edit: June 29, 2012, 12:48:42 am by Jbrase »Logged

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« Reply #47 on: June 29, 2012, 12:46:02 am »
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Moar Announcements

We are happy to announce Oakvale as our newest member to the team. He shall be the Senior Judicial Analyst, Pacific Correspondent, and Political Cartoonist. Welcome aboard!
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« Reply #48 on: June 29, 2012, 12:53:55 am »
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Thanks, Jbrase, I'm excited to be joining the Porcupine team. In my retirement from electoral politics I've been looking for something to do, and with the interesting court cases currently underway, joining this fine newspaper as, amongst other things, Judicial Analyst, is a great opportunity. Grin
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Do the Democratic hacks on this forum even understand dialectical materialism?
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« Reply #49 on: June 29, 2012, 07:01:41 am »
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Thanks for the job, Jbrase! I'll get started right away. I've made a Wiki article!
« Last Edit: June 29, 2012, 07:24:15 am by SoEA SJoyceFla »Logged

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