The Porcupine: The most trusted name in news.

[IDS Legislator Alfred F. Jones]

En memoriam
Oakvale left The Porcupine
Forever missed

You can't write haikus
Four syllables in line 3
Silly paperboy.

[Jbrase]

En memoriam
Oakvale left The Porcupine
Forever missed

You can't write haikus
Four syllables in line 3
Silly paperboy.

As editor of the paper I can change how words are pronounced. I intended it to be read "miss-ed". Do not doubt my power

[ask_not]

I like to be interviewed too.

[IDS Legislator Alfred F. Jones]

I like to be interviewed too.

Are you a member of Atlasia?

[homelycooking]

I like to be interviewed too.

Are you a member of Atlasia?

He's not.

[Is JCL in mushy sappy love]

I'd also like to do an interview as well

People want to know why I'm such the contraversial figure.

[Jayhawker]

I'd also like to do an interview as well

People want to know why I'm such the contraversial figure.

As the Mideast correspondant and senior political analyst, I will give you an interview.

[Is JCL in mushy sappy love]

I'd also like to do an interview as well

People want to know why I'm such the contraversial figure.

As the Mideast correspondant and senior political analyst, I will give you an interview.

I'm doing this as an introduction to Atlasians who don't know who I am yet.

[VP Duke]

JCL,

While I know tmth is charming and has those dashing good looks you so dearly look for in a man, I recommend you withdraw your interview here and interview with The People's Paper.

Friend, I know it may seem a bit strange that I am here, beckoning for you, but if you want to be introduced to The People, Our Paper is the best place to do it. And when you are introduced, expect amazing things to happen. We are The Light of this country.

[Jbrase]

Interview with JCL

Q: You recently lost a Senate race against Ben by a decent margin in what was supposed to a very close race. Some polls even showed you ahead. What do you feel went wrong?

A:It came down a 3 or 4 vote swing. I ran a clean and honest campaign that I can be proud of even if it came up just a bit short. It wasn't easy having my mentor in Atlasian politics enthusiastically supporting my opponent but he made that decision prior to my announcement. The others who I thought were in my column that sided with Senator Ben did so out of friendship. So it came down to several things rather than just onething.

Q: What are you currently working on in the Mideast Government?


A: Campaigning to return to the assembly. Advocating for conservative reforms in fiscal matters. Also petitioning to see a law that would make human traffickers fear plying their Nefarious trade in the region.

Q:What role do you feel the Federal Government should have in people's lives? Not just economic, but social issues as well.

A: The federal government should be constrained to keep within the enumerated powers it has. Much social policy contraverseries we have are not specifically mentioned in the Constuition. As such they should be left to the regions. Economically the government is following a Kenyesian model which is not beneficial for economic liberty and prosperity. I follow more of what is know as the Austrian school of economics. It advocates for commodity based currency and liberality in contract rights. Though government can play a role as an advocate for specifically enumerated consumer protections. As for the current nationalized healthcare system, I see it as a monstrosity that has to be placed on the ash heap of failed government experiments.


Q: Pepsi or Coca-Cola?

A: Depends on my mood.

Q: Zuwo or Tmth for Governor?

A: I'm playing this race "close to my chest" meaning I'm waiting till after the two debate.

[Governor Scott]

Early Primary Polls &
Little Support For Military Action Against Iran

Both parties are shaping up to have a tremendously competitive primary season in the coming months, should some of the potential contenders throw their hats into the ring.

On the Labor Party's side, former Northeast Governor Snowstalker narrowly takes the title of frontrunner by a modest two vote lead.  Behind him are former At-Large Senator Nathan, Midwest Senator Redalgo, one vote for a candidate not on the poll, and two participants who have expressed support for President Napoleon this October.

Snowstalker: 36.4% (4 votes)
Nathan: 18.2% (2 votes)
Alfred F. Jones: 0% (0 votes)
PyroTheFox 0 (0 votes)
Redalgo: 18.2% (2 votes)
Seatown: 0% (0 votes)
hawkeye59: 0% (0 votes)
Other: 9.1% (1 vote)
President Napoleon: 18.2% (2 votes)
Total Voters: 11

On the other side of the aisle, the Whig Party primary shows no clear frontrunner.  Though former At-Large Senator Pingvin99 declared his candidacy for president last Monday, he runs behind a trio of other names: Mideast Governor ZuWo, Northeast Assembly Speaker and Lieutenant Governor Simfan34, and At-Large Senator Clarence.  ZuWo has denied any possible run in the near future.

Pingvin: 11.8% (2 votes)
ZuWo 23.5% (4 votes)
Simfan34: 23.5% (4 votes)
Clarence: 23.5% (4 votes)
TJ in Cleve 5.9% (1 vote)
JohanusCalvinusLibertas 11.8% (2 votes)
Other: 0% (0 votes)
Total Voters: 17

And the last party to be surveyed, the Imperial Bloc, could nominate just about anyone, if they decide to run a candidate this October.  IDS Representative Sjoycefla narrowly emerges as the early frontrunner with three votes.

Jbrase: 22.2% (2 votes)
North Carolina Yankee: 11.1% (1 vote)
PiT (The Physicist): 22.2% (2 votes)
Sjoycefla: 33.3% (3 votes)
AHDuke99 (Independent): 11.1% (1 vote)
Other: 0% (0 votes)
Undecided: 0% (0 votes)
Total Voters: 9


We also conducted a poll over the same period to find out how much support Senator Clarence's (W-FL) recent proposal to authorize military action against Iran has gotten, and found that Atlasians oppose such a move by more than a two-to-one margin.  The Whigs were the only party to show majority support.

Question: Do you support Senator Clarence's plan to authorize military action against Iran?

Liberals
Yes: 13.5% (1 vote)
No: 87.5% (7 votes)

Labors
Yes: 0% (0 votes)
No: 100% (5 votes)

Whigs
Yes: 86% (6 votes)
No: 14% (1 vote)

Imperial Bloc
Yes: 0% (0 votes)
No: 100% (5 votes)

Mideast Citizens For Progress And Reform
Yes: 50% (2 votes)
No: 50% (2 votes)

Independent/Other
Yes: 33.33% (1 vote)
No: 66.66% (2 votes)

Total
Yes: 31% (10 votes)
No: 69% (22 votes)
Total Voters: 32

[Governor Scott]

Mideast Gubernatorial: ZuWo Still Leads

Mideast Governor ZuWo (Whig-KY) continues to lead MCPR hopeful Tmthforu94 in our latest poll of the Mideast gubernatorial race, in spite of the recent migration of leftists in the region.

RESULTS

ZuWo (Whig-KY)         10 (55.6%)
Tmthforu94 (MCPR-IN)     7 (33.9%)
Other: 1 (5.6%)
Undecided: 0 (0%)

This race continues to rank as Lean Whig.

[Jayhawker]

Our campaign internals show the race to be much closer. I expect it to be like that the entire way, should I run.

[Governor Scott]

No Major Power Shift In Northeast Assembly Expected

It appears as though the leftists will likely retain their majority in the Northeast Assembly this month.  Rep. Alfred F. Jones (LAB-NY) is in the best position to keep his seat, as well as former Speaker Simfan34.  Although, Simfan recently stepped down from the Speakership, and it is unclear if he will run for reelection or not.

The poll also finds Rep. PyroTheFox (LAB-MA) dead last on the contender list, but this is likely attributed to his recent resignation, and he is not expected to run for reelection.  However, the Labors are expected to retain that seat, as contender bore (LAB-RI) wins seven of the ten votes cast.

This leaves Rep. Mondale84 (LIB-NJ), who was initially expected to have an uphill battle after a terribly poor showing in his latest approval rating, now appearing to be in a much more competitive spot.  Still, his chances of victory are still uncertain, and the Whig Party is currently running one candidate in the election, as well.  Rep. Winfield (I-RI) has not declared his intention to run for reelection at this time.

Judging only by the results of the poll, ScottSurveys projects that Jones, Simfan, bore, Winfield, and Mondale will have the best chances of victory later this month.

RESULTS

Question: If the elections for Northeast Assembly were held today, which candidates would receive your first five preferences?

Simfan34 (Whig): 18.8% (9 votes)
Alfred F. Jones (Labor): 18.8% (9 votes)
PyroTheFox (Labor): 8.3% (4 votes)
Winfield (Independent):14.6% (7 votes)
Mondale84 (Liberal): 12.5% (6 votes)
Goldwater (Whig): 10.4% (5 votes)
bore (Labor): 14.6% (7 votes)
Write-in: 2.1% (1 vote)

Total Voters: 10

UPDATE: Speaker Winfield has announced that he will not run for reelection.

[Jbrase]

Our campaign internals show the race to be much closer. I expect it to be like that the entire way, should I run.

Well internal polls are always less reliable and this is a Porcupine poll after all, so it couldn't possibly be off

[IDS Legislator Alfred F. Jones]

An addendum to the ScottSurveys poll: Rep. Winfield announced that he will not be running for reelection, so that leaves a space open for Goldwater.

[Governor Scott]

An addendum to the ScottSurveys poll: Rep. Winfield announced that he will not be running for reelection, so that leaves a space open for Goldwater.

Yep.

Looks like it's gonna be a boring election, after all. :/

[Senator Ben]

Still waiting for my interview

[Governor Scott]

Kalwejt Leads In Liberal Pre-Primary Poll

Vice President Kalwejt currently leads in the latest ScottSurveys Primary Poll.

Question: Of the following names, which person would you most likely support for the February 2013 Liberal Party primary?

Northeast Governor Averroes Nix 8.3% (1 vote)
Pacific Governor NVTownsend 16.7% (2 votes)
Vice President Kalwejt 33.3% (4 votes)
Northeast Senator Scott    16.7% (2 votes)
Northeast Rep. Mondale84 8.3% (1 vote)
Former Vice President Bacon King 16.7% (2 votes)
Pacific Senator sbane 0% (0 votes)
Cincinnatus (Independent) 0% (0 votes)
Other 0% (0 votes)

Currently, it is expected that President Napoleon will seek reelection.  Should he not and the Liberal Party's primary be held early, Kalwejt appears to be on a good path to victory if he chooses to run.

At-Large Senate polls will be posted Tuesday.

[Governor Scott]

Presidential Race: Napoleon Dominates In New Poll

A new poll shows President Napoleon leading two of his likely challengers for the October presidential race by a substantial margin.

Question: If the election for President were held today, which candidate would receive your first preference?

Napoleon (Liberal): 58.3% (14 votes)
Snowstalker (Labor): 20.8% (5 votes)
Pingvin99 (Whig): 20.8% (5 votes)

Because many of Snowstalker's second preference votes will likely be added to Napoleon's vote total in the runoff count, Napoleon is in an especially dominating position should he decide to run for reelection.

[Governor Scott]

Northeast Gubernatorial: Simfan34 Down In Polls, Unless Mondale84, Cincinnatus or Jones Run

Northeast residents were recently asked whom they would support in the next gubernatorial election, should Representative Simfan34, a possible contender, enter the race.  Here are the results:

Question: Which of the candidates in the following scenarios against Simfan34 would you support in the October Northeast gubernatorial election?

Simfan34 (Whig): 29% (2 votes)
Averroes Nix (Liberal): 71% (7 votes)

Simfan34 (Whig): 33% (3 votes)
Scott (Liberal): 66% (6 votes)

Simfan34 (Whig): 50% (5 votes)
Alfred F. Jones (Labor): 50% (5 votes)

Simfan34 (Whig): 100% (9 votes)
Mondale84 (Liberal): 0% (0 votes)

Simfan34 (Whig): 50% (4 votes)
Cincinnatus (Independent): 50% (4 votes)

Simfan34 (Whig): 30% (3 votes)
Nathan (Labor): 70% (7 votes)

TOTAL VOTERS: 10

[Senator Ben]

Still waiting for my interview

The delay has made me go from to

[Emperor SJoyce]

Editorial

     So as many of you may be seeing in the New Register Thread, there have been some disturbing trends of migration to the IDS recently. Instead of the inflow of reliable, contributing, well-meaning citizens, we've been having immigration of a far more sinister sort. Members of the Labor Party have concocted a nefarious plot to infiltrate our glorious region, which they are calling "Operation Cottonfield", which shall lead to nothing less that the complete takeover of the governmental functions of the IDS and institution of a socialist regime in Memphis. It began with current IDS Legislator Adam Griffin, but was truly instituted by Northeast Speaker and Lieutenant Governor Alfred F. Jones, who has used his mechanisms to increase the size of the Labor Party in the IDS by 200%, with the installation of former Senator Seatown and Associate Justice Opebo, both known socialists, in the IDS. This potential takeover could mean that the Government of the IDS could fall from its current state of fiscal responsibility into the dark slums of crushing debt.

Labor Party recruitment poster for the invasion of the IDS

     This invasion must be resisted by all means necessary. We cannot allow the Labor Party to seize control of the Imperial Dominion of the South. Good Imperial citizens should take what actions they can to prevent the red menace from infiltrating their communities. We can and will prevent our region from falling to socialist control; while the good people of the Mideast appear to be alright, the Midwest has fallen, the Northeast is severely threatened, and the Pacific (while appearing to possibly be on the verge of a counterrevolution) is still in Labor's hands. They cannot extent their grasp to a majority of the regions; if they do, with 4 regional Senators as well as however many at-large seats they can get, they could very well pass any Constitutional amendment they wanted. The Internationale would be the anthem of our nation, and the red flag that of our nation. This is not the Atlasia we want. Resist this invasion! Counterattack into the Pacific! Stop the red menace!




Editorial cartoon. Saying: An edgy newspaper is a well-read newspaper.

[VP Duke]

Still waiting for my interview

The delay has made me go from to

Well if it makes you feel any better, I've never been interviewed by any publication in the history of my time here in atlasia.

[Senator Napoleon]

Hey, I never get interviewed, and I'm the president around here!