The Never Ending Americana Story (Death certificate issued)

[Jayhawker]

May 3rd, 1991:

The "Healthy Oklahoma Act" has passed the Oklaham state House with 69 voting "Aye" and 32 voting "Nay". All those voting Nay were Democrats in the State. The bill will now be sent to the Senate, where it is expected to pass.

Today is a great day in Oklahoma. I encourage legislatures in all other 49 states to fight tobacco and alochol use by implementing a bill similar to this, as well as encouraging programs such as ours here, "Get fit, Oklahoma!". Thank you.
- Governor Adam Johnson

[Dr. Cynic]

September 4th, 1991

Senator Blake places a phone call to Governor Casey, the call was recorded for private state archive. It shows two stubborn, egocentric men obsessed with controlling their state and goes like this:

BLAKE: Senator Blake for Governor Casey, please.

OPERATOR: Hold on one moment. (click) Governor Casey, I have Senator Blake for you.

CASEY: All right. (click)

BLAKE: Bob, I want you to think over this anti-obesity bill, especially using my name in it.

CASEY: Joe, you know that in politics, you use whatever works. I can get this from the legislature, Senator. You have no influence there!

BLAKE: Oh no?... I'll simply cut them all off. Endorsements. Fundraising. They won't get it from the party. That, I CAN control!

CASEY: You wouldn't give the state to Republicans over a petty vendetta bill. I know you. I'm going to use your name for this. The public should know about the dangers of your lifestyle.

BLAKE: I promise you, Bob, you will regret it...

CASEY: You don't have anything that could...

BLAKE: You have till I get back to Washington to make your choice. Drop this rediculous bill or push it. I'll call your health into question. I know you have amyloidosis... You'll need a transplant and I know you're jumping ahead on the donor list. Don't do this, Bob.

CASEY: That's blackmail, you ass! Petty jerk. You want fat people to get preferential treatment!

BLAKE: Maybe we oughta get a bunch of fat people together and we'll all throw cheeseburgers at you instead, you damn bigot! I know about your civil rights stances too! You said some terrible things! Lester Maddox called and he wants his platform back! Talk about oppertunism! You have your choice, you'll make it!

Blake slams down the phone and the call is disconnected.....

[Senator Kalwejt]

May 3, 1991
Governor’s Office, Montgomery, Alabama.

Dent: Well, Joe-Bob, I really don’t want to say this, but, really, I told you so.
Speaker: This is not over.
Dent: In case you haven’t noticed this yet, the times when you could go cry on Wallace’s laps is over.
Speaker: Maybe if you hadn’t antagonize a legislature with removing a flag from the Capitol and wasting our time trying to replace Yellow Momma...
Dent: I’d like to remind there’s one person who lost recent vote and that’s not me.
Speaker: That’s it, hipster! I’m the Speaker of the Alabama House of Representatives and nobody can tell me what to do! (slams the doors)
Dent: Drama, again... (taking the phone) Ms. Helton, please tell Mr. Stanton that I need him in my office as soon as possible. Thank you.
Hussein: (entering the room few minutes later) Yes, Sayyid?
Dent: Keeping an eye on the jerk who just rocketed from this room?
Hussein: Yes, Sayyid. I already established that he have an disgusting, incestuous affair with his half-sister, living in Clio...
Dent: Clio, Dent County, the roots of all evil. And that doesn’t suprises me.
Hussein: I already have some photos, may Allah curse him.
Dent: Don’t bring Allah into this. Press would be enough.
Hussein: So you don’t want to to confront this disgusting pervert first?
Dent: Why? He’s useless and I can replace him with someone better. Do you have these pictures with you?
Hussein: Of course.
Dent: (taking a closer look) Hm, what a shame...
Hussein: Indeed.
Dent: Shame, she have a wonderful breast.
(Phone rang)
Dent: Yes? 
Secretary: Governor, the Paris is on the line 2.
Dent: What “Paris”?
Secretary: The city, it’s somewhere in Europe, sir.
Dent: I know very well where the city of Paris is and I’ve been there.

[Jbrase]

May 5, 1991

Upon hearing the news that the Texas legislature was planning on enacting a similar law to OK's obeisity law that would appear on a statewide ballot in November began working with TUPAC realsing add's across the state:

"Hi, I'm Congressman Bill McLovin of Texas's 8th, I'm here to ask you to look up and study a proposition being sent to you in November. It is basicly a copy of an Oklahoma law taxing people for their unhealthy life styles. Now this bill doesent directly tax the people but it taxes the companies which shift the cost to the people who buy the products such as cigarettes and alcoho,l so the state of OK is taxing its inthe back. I want y'all to read that bill, and just ask yourself "is this right?, where does government get the authority to protect us from ourselves?". Lord knows I am all for a healthy life style, I'll promote it and I encourage all to do the same, but when people make a choice to to live the way they do while not harming others it is not the place of government to tell them it is wrong and they must change or be punished. We're Texans, we are better than this, when see a fascist law then we firmly reject it, not emulate it. We all have a duty to tell those a^%holes north of the Red River where they can shove that bill of theirs. Right up their... [THE REST OF THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE FCC]"

[Senator Kalwejt]

Dent: Who dares to annoys me?
Charlotte: Hello, father.
Dent: Now, that’s a f**king suprise.
Charlotte: No need to be rude.
Dent: All right. When was the last time we even spoke? Like 2 years from now?
Charlotte: Sort of.
Dent: So, what reminded you about my existence?
Charlotte: I just heard what happened.
Dent: A lot of things happened during last two years.
Charlotte: I... I never meet her, even if she was my half-sister, we just have this one phone conversation and...
Dent: That was very funny one, actually.
Charlotte: How do you know?
Dent: I tape everything.
Charlotte: You’re asshole.
Dent: Tell me something I don’t know yet.
Charlotte: You know, I took your side then, you were right but... yes, you’re an asshole.
Dent: And?
Charlotte: And... sorry, I have to say this... and you could fix it but you didn’t and now she’s dead. How can you even deal with this?
Dent: Drama again.
Charlotte: Damn it! What happened to you?! Have you lost it all?! You’re not the person I knew.
Dent: Well, to be precise, you had no idea who I am until you were 18, we saw each other like 2 times, then you just disappeared, much like your half-sister, so, it have to be ask, what right do you have to talk to me this way? Why won’t you go to scream on your mom instead?
Charlotte: Because she just died.
Dent: That’s... rather unfortunate event.
Charlotte: And there’s no one I can go to now.
Dent: I guess I still have something to say in this matter.
Charlotte: You’re a douche but still my father.
Dent: No.
Charlotte: But...
Dent: Right, first you’re gone for two years, showing how much do you usually care, then call me with pretensions, calling a douche, and now “there’s no one I can go to now”. Sorry, but I’m no longer a 20-year old idiot to just take it. I took enough of crap in my lifetime. And don’t start with a “father” thing. It’s just DNA and it was just DNA for you, as you showed. Bye (endind the phone call) Barack?
Barack: Yes, Governor.
Dent: God is an asshole. If he’d love me, he’d made me sterile.

[Senator Kalwejt]

Dent: Barack, one more thing.
Barack: Yes?
Dent: I don't know if there's a sense to still sue Oklahoma law, but I'm pretty sure Casey may give us some reasons too. Just keep your legal eye on him.

[Dr. Cynic]

TIME

With America in a Showdown, One Senator Looks After "His" Constituents

Senator Joseph Clark Blake is a mountain. Looking every bit the rust belter, except in often colorful attire. (He likes to wear more than just traditional black or blue suits. He wears white when voting on legislation he supports and all black with a yellow carnation tucked into his lapel (Symbolizing Pittsburgh's black and yellow city colors) when voting against legislation. He will wear Steelers ties in his office and he's remarkable for seeing every visitor. His mountainous appearance, almost 6'5", and his girth, around 300lbs. make him stand out remarkably from his collegues. Many he dwarves easily. He's tough and determined, son of a blue collar family with a minor political history. Yet, Joe Blake is among America's most powerful Senators after only a little more than a decade in the upper House.

Blake serves on many of the powerful committees and has just taken Joe Biden's place on the Judiciary Committee. However, he will tell you that his primary interest are the working-poor and blue collar families of Pennsylvania, a state full of them. Both Philadelphia and Pittsburgh are suffering. Pittsburgh is reeling from the loss of big steel and Philadelphia suffers from a bad housing market and a downturn of commercial exports. Blake will wear light blue and yellow, Philadelphia's city colors when speaking there. In Allentown and Erie, other cities where he remains popular, he has brought home thousands of jobs with professional steering of earmarks, which, oddly enough, he has joined legislation to limit. Only in Scranton is he not the most popular Democrat, that distinction is held by his nominal political rival, Bob Casey. Blake is an emotional man and cares deeply about his constituents. Hearing of plights, he is occassionally moved to tears and often will provide the storyteller with personal service and sometimes a job somewhere. He overschedules and taxes himself to the point of physical breakdown. Recall his mild heart attack some months ago was most attributed to stress and overscheduling.

Right now, Blake has thrown himself into a major political war. Oklahoma's legislature passed legislation of a 25% tax on "unhealthy foods as well as tobacco and alcohol to cover all unhealthy lifestyles". Pennsylvania is considering similar legislation along with 13 other states. Blake has already come out four square against the bill while Pennsylvania's other Democrat in the Senate, Catherine Baker Knoll supports it. Blake has called into question where the burden will fall. Mostly on the working poor and middle class who tend to be more overweight and more likely to smoke or drink than their more affluent counterparts. Blake believes that it does nothing to encourage or benefit the health and welfare of the "little guy". The division to this legislation is unlike any seen since the Civil Rights legislation of the 1960s. Both parties find allies on the other side. Most Democrats oppose the legislation, however, they also have allies among Republicans. Some Democrats like Bob Casey and Knoll as well as some other Democrats like David Boren, Joe Lieberman, as well as Harry Reid all support the legislation. Republicans like Aaron Presley and Thad O'Connor as well as Jim Jeffords and John Chaffee are in the opposition. Truly divisions are hardly down to party line. Joe Blake has made his opposition abundantly clear in a series of speeches, television ads and talk show appearances. If the powerful former college football star has anything to say about it, Americans will no longer be worrying about high sales taxes for "unhealthy items"..

[Senator Kalwejt]

May 4, 1991
Governor's Office, Montgomery, Alabama

Dent: (reading a morning paper) That is just very good. I really didn’t thought they’d decide to print everything with pictures, considering there are still those ancient anti-obscenity laws, but that’s better.
TV: ...Alabama state politics today is preoccupied with a major scandal, after three major state newspapers revealed, with a picture evidences, that he have a long-going, incestuous affair with his half-sister, living in a Clio, Dent County...
Dent: Well, I told them good times are the past. But redneck refused to listen.
Barack: I wonder how he’d take this. 
Dent: I couldn’t care less. The only things that’s matter is he won’t around to annoy me anymore.
TV: ...we’ve just received a confirmation from Montgomery City Police, that embattled Speaker of the Alabama House committed a suicide with a gunshot...
Dent: Good riddance.
TV: ...we also have a word, not confirmed, that he Speaker’s half sister ad rumoured mistress also took her live...
Dent: Collateral damage. Well, Senate is already secured, we need to appoint a new, proper, Speaker.

[Dr. Cynic]

Governor Casey announces his new plan for the Legislature

A 28% Sales Tax on all Unhealthy Items
A "Fat Tax" on any individuals weighing over 300lbs
Those individuals may be exempt should they join a gym
Provides a tax cut to businesses that encourage healthy lifestyles
Removes all soda and candy machines from schools
Requires all schools to have Phys ed at least three times a week

According to the latest CNN tracking poll, 48% oppose, 42% support, rest undecided in Pennsylvania.

[Senator Kalwejt]

May 6, 1991

This is CNN

Governor Jefferson Dent (D-AL) announced his intentions to challenge the constitutionality of the new Pennsylvania law, proposed by Governor Robert P. Casey (D) if passed and signed into a law.

[Dr. Cynic]

Governor Robert P. Casey issues a statement:

"We will not recognize Governor Dent's attempts to impose his wishes on the commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Neither he, nor Senator Blake in Washington really understand the epidemic of obesity we have here in Pennsylvania. Blake, himself sits there and urges Pennsylvania not to attack his own lifestyle. Well, we have had enough and we will govern as we see fit."

Most believe this is simply Casey's way of laying the groundwork for a Senate run against Blake.

[Jayhawker]

Governor Johnson makes the following press release...

While I commend Governor Casey for taking actions towards a healthier, I think some key elements of the legislation have gone too far, elements that I originally thought were acceptable but now I find discriminatory. While I think he makes great proposals on providing tax cuts to businesses that provide healthy lifestyles and his education policies, I question whether or not to tax people based on their weight. In no way, as stands, do I support the bill Governor Casey has revealed, nor do I want my name being associated with this discriminatory piece of legislation.

[Dr. Cynic]

Senator Blake issues a statement:

"Once again, Bob Casey really makes you wonder whose interests he really cares about? He says he cares for the common man, but this discriminatory legislation does nothing for the people. It simply cannot be allowed to pass."

[Senator Kalwejt]

Dent: It's hard to believe. I sent him to the political graveyard, and now he's back to annoy me.
Dent never quite could understand, how Bill Clinton could return after this scandal in 1989. Then Senate Majority Leader was instrumental in an efforts, that forced Clinton to resign, in an infamy, from Governorship, after his aides were caughted red-handed on bugging Senate Majority Whip, Dent's right hand, Dale Bumpers phone. But he somehow managed to win the office back in 1990.
Clinton: (on TV) We all are appreciating Governor Casey efforts and especially his will to stand up for his principles when he's facing a demagogical attacks...
Anchor: Governor Clinton announced, that he'll soon propose a nearly identical project to those brought by Casey, to the Arkansas Legislature...
Clinton: Look better at yourself, fat-ass, before you'll start to talk about those nonsenses. This individual have no shame. How could he ever made his homeback.
Barack: Well, you both seems to be pretty similar at one point, Governor.
Dent: Elaborate, please.
Barack: You're both very good in political survival.
Dent: Truth, except I can do it without being a total hypocrite. And he's... well, he's just an unfinished business.

[Senator Kalwejt]

Dent: Reactivation
TIME, May 8, 1991

Disappeared: ca. January 1990, Washington, D.C. Found alive and active: Montgomery, Alabama, ca. April 1991.

Pretty easy to guess whom these words are describing. For over two decades, Jefferson Dent has been one of the loudest voices of the American politics. You just couldn't not notice him. And one of the most formative figures of the second half of the 20th century, among those few who truly reshaped U.S. politics in recent decades.

And then he largely disappeared from the spotlight, being forced to leave a Majority Leader position out of health reasons and not taking any other leadership position instead. Although it was widely known for the insiders that he continues, and is continuing, to be an effective Democratic Party leader, for the wider public a man, who just narrowly missed to crown his longtime career, when lost 1988 presidential election, started to be a yesterday news.

His successfull bid for Governor wasn't any news nationally, as he cruised to an expected victory over a weak Republican incumbent, H. Guy Hunt. Most of the observers thought that, just like in Lawton Chiles case down in Florida, it's just a last hurrah and a good finish of the entire career.

Jefferson Dent indeed spend quietly last four months in Montgomery, doing an usual gubernatorial stuff, like battling over the state legislators for influence, promoting his projects and being bothered with malfunctioning Alabama's electric chair. However now he suddenly reemerged at the national stage, becoming the first national political figure to oppose a new obesity laws and promising a lawsuit to the Supreme Court, now he's considering to fill against Governor Casey over the similar project. All that resurrected a speculations about his future. After all, he's, despite all his very specific and complicated, story, that may make him looks like a walking relic, just 52 years old: an age when most of careers just starts.

Whenever you like or dislike him, praise of despise of, you can't deny him two things: rare political effectiveness and an ability to accomplish the goal when already set. He proved this for many occassions. And thus, it's unwise to dismiss his return now. Many did, and many regretted that.

[Dallasfan65]

May 9th, 1991

Representative O'Connor, uneasy in his D.C. residence, decides to place a phone call to an old acquaintance from the D.C. bars. More notably, a former Senator.

Thad: Hello... is this Governor Dent?
Dent: Yes. Who's calling?
Thad: You may not remember me, but I'm Representative O'Connor, from the backwoods of Maine.
Dent: Oh yes, I remember now. I remember most of the people from nonpolitical pokers and drinkings at the Capitol. Nice to hear from you.
Thad: I wanted to offer my condolensces over your recent loss... I was also curious how you felt about the pork bill in Congress.
Dent: Thank you for the condolences and regarding the pork bill. My feelings are mixed.
Thad: I have mixed feelings about it myself.. if it's an outright ban on all things "pork", I'll be voting nay. If it's just more transparency, I'll probably vote aye.
Dent: Well, there are earmarks, which are ridicolous embarrasment, like Byrd's third Coast Guard facility in West Virginia
Thad: Yes.. that sort of stuff delegitimizes earnest spending projects in hard hit areas, which is unfortunate.
Dent: If you even wondered how did I get reelected three times, earmarks are the answers. But I always knew how to avoid embarrasment
Thad: Ah.. Well, I'm a bit worried about re-election myself, I hope it doesn't get too hairy this year.
Dent: I'm very familiar with Maine politics, Thad. Hopefully, you don't have any Casey/Clinton-esque top tier there to hurt the entire line
Thad: Yeah.. That would be really bad. Anywho, I appreciate the talk. If you head up to DC, we should grab a beer - or twelve
Dent: I'm planning to go to D.C. in some two, three weeks from now, and, hm... thanks for these words. My behavior may be little weird from the outside, but the thing you mentioned was really complicated. Hm, since you already called, I can tell one thing related to... what you mentioned.
Thad: Shoot.
Dent: You probably know that I did everything to severe all ties with the traditions of my awful family, but there's one thing me and my awful ancestors have in common. We're unable to forgive. I know that's very bad, tough.
Thad: Oh... I see.
Dent: On personal level. On political, if I wouldn't able to move over some things, I'll lost my every bid, of course.
Thad: Understandable... I myself haven't had much of a family since my father Shaun passed away, so I have no ties.
Dent: Well, you grandfather wasn't at least a person who run with Strom on one ticket in 1948. Maybe that's why Old Strom always smilled to me?
Thad: Heh...
Dent: Anyway, I don't want to bore you with this, Thad.
Thad: Oh, no.. I'm just more of a listener than a talker at times.
Dent: Maybe when I come over to D.C. we would have an opportunity to sit down comfortably.
Thad: Yes.. that would be enjoyable. Perhaps sooner than later, eh?
Dent:  Barring some disaster at place, take it for sure. It's already hard for a person who spend 20 years in Washington to sit in Montgomery. It's such a boring place.
Thad: Just don't become to out of touch with your state...
Dent: When I was in the Senate Alabama and me were the best example of the marriage of convinence. She allowed me to live with my mistress but I had to pay with earmarks. Now, that's a time to stay with each other for publicy sake.
Thad: Hahahaha! *Thad laughed at the analogy.*
Dent: She almost got a divorce in 1980.
*Thad chuckled some more.*
Dent: Sorry, I got a call from the new House Speaker. I guess you heard about the previous one?
Thad: Only little details... that's shocking.
Dent: I have to take this call. Anyway, we'll stay in touch, Thad.
Thad: Take care.
Dent: You too.

[Dr. Cynic]

---BREAKING NEWS---
Anti-Obesity Bill fails in PA legislature by a vote of 31 Nays to 19 Ayes in the Senate....

[Senator Kalwejt]

This is CNN.

Governor Bill Clinton (D-AR) condemns the failure of the Anti-Obesity Bill in Pennsylvania Senate and announced that "Arkansas will take a led in this matter", summoning the legislature at the special session.

[Senator Kalwejt]

September 3, 1965
Mobile, Alabama.

Walter: (taking a phone call) Dent and Robertson Law Firm, how can I help you... Good morning, Mrs. Callaway. Yes, my partner will be at the office at noon. Thank you (ending the call).
Dent: Liar.
Walter: Saving your precious time and that's how you repay me?
Dent: That was actually an compliment. We're a lawyers, after all.
Walter: Yes, the most unusual duo down Mason-Dixon line.

Indeed, the most unusual one.

Walter Robinson was an alumni of some obscure "Negro College", probably few ever hear of. For the most of his 41 years, due to well-known circumstances, he could never use his brilliant mind in a real cases, that would fit his abilities.

Jefferson Dent was a grandson of the man, who spend his lifetime successfully keeping people like Walter, despite all their potential, in the second class of citizens.

The two meet somewhere in 1961, when Walter, a civil-right activist hunted down by Colonel Al Lingo's state troopers found, just as many of his colleagues, a safe harbour, in a home of a rebellious scion of the Dixiecrat Dynasty. Their friendship started there.

And now they were running together so far very successfull law firm specializing in divorces case: a middle-aged Black man with his deep knowledge of Alabama law and reality, who still rarely appeared in the court due to the still alive racist sentiments, and a 27 year old Yale Graduate, who blowed up his only criminal defense case, but with his eloquence and public skills was just in place for cases like they were working on.

Dent: I just can see this whole God-fearing jury, when she'll say he wants a divorce because her husband wanted to rape her.
Robertson: Typical. "He's your husband and he's entitled to something". 
Dent: Well, since our opponents is already a major league asshole, we shouldn't be afraid to use our favorite method.
Roberts: (laughing) Snook Hook!
Dent: You said it!

[Jayhawker]

Breaking news!

Oklahoma's recent controversial bill that would provide tax breaks to companies who promoted healthy behavior as well as other healthy provisions has made it through the House, and now sits on the Governors desk.

2 hours later...

I'm proud to sign this important piece of legislation. Today marks a new, healthier era in Oklahoma, and I thank you all for helping us get to this point. Now it's time for us all to move on and conquer the other many mountains that face our state.

- Governor Adam Johnson

[hawkeye59]

Roberts announces his opposition to the anti-obesity bill.

[Dr. Cynic]

BLAKE AND CASEY SHOWDOWN REACHING FEVER PITCH

"Senator Joe Blake and Governor Bob Casey both try to lay claim as Pennsylvania's most powerful politician. With the critical failure of Casey's obesity bill, it appears that Blake has come out on top for this round. On a whirlwind speaking effort to help defeat the bill, this is really Blake's biggest advantage over Casey. Blake is full of charisma and has no problem with a crowd. He is very conversational. Very charming. Very friendly. He comes off as a regular guy. Casey, himself is a bit of an awkward speaker and not really a salesman of political ideas. One would probably regard Casey as the more detail oriented and Blake as a "big picture" man. Both are beholden to the labor union, but Blake is probably given a better preference because he comes from the most pro-labor city in Pennsylvania. Casey is given preference by the gun owners and NRA, although both are pro-gun. With Casey's defeat, yet by a narrow margain, he appears to have all the ammunition to challenge Blake in the 1992 Democratic Senate primary race. By contrast, neither has really had to face an opponent as daunting statewide as the other. In a hypothetical matchup, Blake leads with less than the margain of error. We will probably see Casey declare anytime now so he can run while continuing on as Governor. Blake likes to spend a three week vacation around the winter holidays with his family whom he clearly adores. Casey, with much older children does not have a young family to watch and care for as he runs. If he declares, we will spend an entire article on each man's strengths and weaknesses. Until the time Casey declares though, this is all nothing but speculation."

[Senator Kalwejt]

September 7, 1965
Mobile, Alabama

During a break in the court session.

Mrs. Callaway: That's hopeless. They never grant me a divorce.
Dent: No, ma'am, they will.
Mrs. Callaway: How is that possible? Maybe we really should accept...
Dent: Just trust me and allow to work.

During the session.

Opposite attorney: And so, your honor, there's no basis for granting a divorce at all (some jurors nods)...
Mrs. Callaway: It's over.
Dent: Not until I use a Snook Hook.
Mrs. Callaway: Snoo... what?
Dent: Just trust me, look scares just as you looks now, and don't say a word.

Snook Hook was Dent and Robertson inside joke name for a legal strategy they developed. It originated when Dent was on trip in Ohio and heard once notorious and scandalous story of Dr. James H. Snook. The man was University Professor, inventor of the "Snook Hook", a device still used for spaying an animals, an respectable member of the local community, a part of the U.S. golden medal-winning shooting team at the 1920 Olympics. Seems like a true story of American success? Well, to bad that the story ended in no other place than Ohio electric chair. Doc Hook has been convicted of murder of his mistress. The most ironic thing was that he himself blowed up all chances to save his professorial skin against murder changes, due to his high social status. Well, too bad he was stupid enough to try to blame the victim for corrupting him morally, as they engaged in oral sex. Big, big mistake. The God-fearing jury of Columbus folks couldn't get over it.

The modern Snook Hook tactics was all about bringing the shadow of the scandalous details, without even using then, to change jury feelings against the opposite side.

Judge: Mr. Dent, do you have anything to add?
Dent: Your Honor. I've spoke to my client...
The attorney of the opposite smile couldn't hide a triumphal smile. Well, my friend, Dent thought. If you really think I'll say now "we accept the offer", then you're a moron.
Dent: ...and now, after what Mrs. Callaway told me in a deepest confidence possible, I''m afraid we can't accept the offer...
Judge: Elaborate, Mr. Dent.
Dent: Of course, Your Honor. We believe that granting a divorce under the terms Mrs. Callaway sets is not only a desire, but simply a necessity for a woman, who keep her honor dear. There are several scandalous details, but...
Judge: Go on.
Dent: But I don't want to violate the 1907 Alabama Obscenity Law, by providing these details in the open court.
His client looked just as scared as should.
Mr. Callaway: YOU'RE LYING YOUR ASS YOU SON OF A B...
Judge: (banging with a gavel) Silence! Mr. Callaway, stand on. You're now in the contempt of this court. You're sentenced to pay a $2000 fine. Mr. Dent, we can close the public session and allow you to present detail to the court and jury only...
Opposite attorney: Your Honor, I spoke with my client and we're ready to accept all the terms set by Mrs. Callaway.
Mr. Callaway: What the he...
Opposite attorney: Shut up, idiot.
Judge: All please arise. Due to an agreement between the sides, the court is going to honor the agreement as a lawful verdict.
Dent: (to Mrs. Callaway) I told you so.     

[Senator Kalwejt]

May 13, 1991

CNN: BREAKING NEWS
Arkansas Senate approved already passed by the House restrictive Anti-Obesity Law, which includes a 25% new tax on overweight people.

Governor Bill Clinton announced he'll sign it into a law as soon as possible.

[Senator Kalwejt]

May 13, 1991
Governor's Office, Montgomery, Alabama.

Dent: That's all I've been waiting for. Now his fat ass is mine.
Barack: Lawsuit?
Dent: Of course. But I guess I'd need some more help for this one.
And if, fortunatelly, all overshadowed his silly pork bill...
Hm, I feel strange...