Comedy Goldmine & Robin

[Badger]

A rare Goldmine worthy post from Atlasia.

Your Majesty, Reality or Nothing Act is on your desk.

Signed, and don't call me Your Majesty.  Mr. President will suffice.

Of course, Your Majesty. I will call Your Majesty Mr. President, if Your Majesty wishes to.

[Gustaf]

This will help him with the Mexino vote

Followed by:

This will help him with the Mexino vote

Mexinan*

[Landslide Lyndon]

Can I vote for Gramps and Bullmoose?

Wish I could be on there as "honorary" Keystone Stater, but I guess that wouldn't be fair.

You're from Ohio.

DEAL WITH THAT!

No, Kal, Badg is a born and bred Pittsburgher who lives in OH........when you're from Da Burg, you're always from Da Burg........got it? 

He abandoned his roots.

Never! I BLEED Black and Gold!

You should see a doctor about that.  Seriously.

[Badger]

Not even close.

Anglosphere highlighted for easier comparison.

By healthy years:

# 1      Japan:    73.6 years     
# 2      Switzerland:    72.8 years     
# 3      Sweden:    71.8 years     
# 4      Australia:    71.6 years    
# 5      France:    71.3 years     
# 6      Iceland:    71.1 years     
= 7      Austria:    71 years     
= 7      Italy:    71 years     
# 9      Spain:    70.9 years     
# 10      Norway:    70.8 years     
# 11      Luxembourg:    70.6 years     
# 12      Greece:    70.4 years     
# 13      New Zealand:    70.3 years
# 14      Germany:    70.2 years     
= 15      Finland:    70.1 years     
= 15      Denmark:    70.1 years     
= 17      Canada:    69.9 years
= 17      Netherlands:    69.9 years     
# 19      Belgium:    69.7 years     
# 20      United Kingdom:    69.6 years
# 21      Ireland:    69 years     
# 22      United States:    67.6 years

By overall life expectancy:

# 1      Macau:    84.33 years     
# 2      Andorra:    82.67 years     
# 3      Japan:    82.07 years     
# 4      Singapore:    81.89 years        
# 5      San Marino:    81.88 years     
# 6      Hong Kong:    81.77 years     
# 7      Australia:    81.53 years     
# 8      Canada:    81.16 years   
# 9      France:    80.87 years     
= 10      Switzerland:    80.74 years 
= 10      Sweden:    80.74 years 
# 12      Guernsey:    80.65 years     
# 13      Israel:    80.61 years 
# 14      Iceland:    80.55 years     
# 15      Anguilla:    80.53 years     
# 16      Cayman Islands:    80.32 years 
# 17      New Zealand:    80.24 years
# 18      Italy:    80.07 years     
# 19      Gibraltar:    80.06 years 
# 20      Monaco:    79.96 years 
# 21      Liechtenstein:    79.95 years     
# 22      Spain:    79.92 years     
# 23      Norway:    79.81 years     
# 24      Jersey:    79.65 years     
# 25      Greece:    79.52 years     
# 26      Austria:    79.36 years     
# 27      Malta:    79.3 years     
# 28      Faroe Islands:    79.29 years     
# 29      Netherlands:    79.25 years     
= 30      Luxembourg:    79.18 years    
= 30      Martinique:    79.18 years
# 32      Germany:    79.1 years    
# 33      Belgium:    79.07 years
# 34      Guam:    78.93 years
# 35      Virgin Islands:    78.92 years
# 36      Saint Pierre and Miquelon:    78.91 years   
# 37      United Kingdom:    78.85 years
# 38      Finland:    78.82 years     
# 39      Man, Isle of:    78.8 years        
# 40      Jordan:    78.71 years     
# 41      Korea, South:    78.64 years     
# 42      Puerto Rico:    78.58 years     
# 43      Bosnia and Herzegovina:    78.33 years 
# 44      Bermuda:    78.3 years        
# 45      Saint Helena:    78.27 years 
# 46      Cyprus:    78.15 years
# 47      United States:    78.14 years
# 48      Denmark:    78.13 years
# 49      Ireland:    78.07 years

FWIW, Victoria by itself has a life expectancy of 83.8 years. ACT is about the same.

Good god man.  It's as though someone claimed to have the longest dick, and you said, "No, I shall offer a compendium of ball diameters and as you can see, I clearly have the largest ones."

Surely, you can't be serious.

Not that I know of any objective measure for the claim that you, and others, are trying to make.  But it certainly isn't supported by the list you have provided.

If only we were comparing dick lengths.  That is fairly straightforward, wouldn't you agree?

[The Artist Formerly Known As and Now Again Known As Ogis]

This made me laugh a lot more than it should have.

Day 1 on the phones is over and it was a little harder than I thought, but also a little easier than I thought.

So exactly the difficult level you originally thought it would be?

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Talking to the wall

Garrison, I really hope you do realize fiction, unless it's a total joke, must be based on some sence of reality.

I hope you know that your comments which r total jokes 2 me will be ignored from now on.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

"Dear Egyptian people. This is your Reverend and President. I bought my new air conditioner, because of my allergies, and I just had another of my uncontrolled cries at the morning..."

How long do you think Bushie would hold? One minute? (generous option)

President BushOklahoma has resigned as President of Egypt as he had recently learned it snowed in Cairo, thus HE MUST rent out a hotel 15 miles out, and answer phone calls for technical reasons.

Thus, he decides he has to resign as he is afraid the motel + the phone calls might make him cry and piss off Egypt.

Egypt embraces Radical islam shortly after resignation. And thinks Oklahoma is 2nd most pro-infidel place on earth (After Israel of course)

[Badger]

From the How Do You Party thread:

Nope nope, just calmly. Always the best way, because then you can remember it.

Haha, party calmly.  I like it

"Break out the kegger, but shh everybody, use your library voices!"

[Oakvale]

From the How Do You Party thread:

Nope nope, just calmly. Always the best way, because then you can remember it.

Haha, party calmly.  I like it

"Break out the kegger, but shh everybody, use your library voices!"

Ain't no party like a west c calm, sober, even tepid affair with the occasional non-alcoholic cocktail.

[Antonio the Sixth]

The best type of republican and conservative. The Reagan Conservative. The true one not the fakes one.

[RIP Robert H Bork]

One thing I've always wondered; what kind of operating system would you run on a quantum computer?

Windows ME

[King]

He got me. Amazing.

He almost got me, but then I didn't remember posting the message you quoted.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Fail.

I am collecting donations for my planned trip to Seattle.  I'd like to have at least $2000 by June -- I am half way there already -- but I'd like to have more than that by the time I go.  As much as possible.

Anything you can give would be a big help.

The donation thingie is on my website.

[Landslide Lyndon]

keystone phil is mean!!!

[Badger]

anyone here old enough to remember when he was first elected? I was born in the 80s, so I don't remember. I believe he unseated Vance Hartke in 76, who, until then, was the luckiest senator ever.

I remember when Lugar was elected mayor of Indianapolis.

Torie also worked as a volunteer during William Henry Harrison campaigns.

[Badger]

wtf are "Asian Values"?

Never ever give up in war unless you are nuked.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Neocons have no busisness being Republicans.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

I enjoyed reading Atlas Shrugged and it gave me something to think about, even though it was poorly written and advanced a confused and horrible world view.

[Gustaf]

The above was actually a serious post. But maybe that's what made it funny...

I had flings with women before who were in relationships, but they were in the middle of divorces. I have a rule about breaking up a happy home with redheaded passion.

From the people that brought you 'Update'

A new drama series about a normal guy in Smalltown, USA

During the day he studies the Language of Love

At night he practices it

Can his friendship survive? Can he overcome all odds? Will he get kicked from University?

And what about the elephant in the room?

"Update with more sex, death threats and violence and less God and Internet scams" ****
---The New York Times---

"The fascinating tale of a man fighting the system, and of a system fighting a man" ******
---The Washington Post---

"The must-see show of 2011"
---The Oklahoma sh**thole---

It's.......

                          HP: Port of Call: Oklahoma



Consequences will never be the same again

[Filuwaúrdjan]

The above was actually a serious post. But maybe that's what made it funny...

It reminded me of the utterly bitchy reviews you get in academic journals.

[Gustaf]

The above was actually a serious post. But maybe that's what made it funny...

It reminded me of the utterly bitchy reviews you get in academic journals.

Oh. Then I'm pleased. I'm actually writing an academic review right now (as a university assignment) so that might explain it.

[Landslide Lyndon]

They sure aren't moving to LA.

Why would anyone move there?  There are no jobs, not to mention that cost of living.

My nephew just got a job; $15 an hour.

Vector Marketing? 

Ameriplan.

[Landslide Lyndon]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=132259.0

[Хahar 🤔]

I long for the way when Libertarianism finally goes the way of Marxism

No. We do not want those people in our humanities departments. Your idea is appalling.

[○∙◄☻¥tπ[╪AV┼cVê└]

It's not a lie. I infracted it. Not because the content of that post was offensive, but because ECR is a troll who I frankly thought was gone already.

Official ballot



President

[ 1 ] J. J./East Coast Republican
^{Regional Protection Party}