Office of the Game Moderator/Atlasian Mustelid Post Gazette

[Badger]

Good point, Yank. It wouldn't be the slightest bit a bludgeon like hint at all.....

[Badger]

ECONOMIC OUTLOOK REPORT OF THE FEDERAL RESERVE BANK---DEC, 2010.

The Atlasian economy weakened markedly in the second half of 2010 as the turmoil in financial markets intensified, credit conditions tightened further, and asset values continued to slump. Conditions in the labor market worsened significantly after early autumn, and nearly all major sectors of the economy registered steep declines in activity late this year. Meanwhile, inflation pressures diminished appreciably as prices of energy and other commodities dropped sharply.

Given the strength of the forces weighing on the economy, Reserve Board members view the outlook as having weakened significantly in recent months. Participants generally expected economic activity to contract sharply in the near term and then to move onto a path of gradual recovery, bolstered by monetary easing, government efforts to stabilize financial markets, and fiscal stimulus. A minority report of the Board, however, states that the greatest threat to growth and economic stability is the rapidly growing national debt. This report states that addressing continued growth of government spending and deficits has been delayed too long and the government's heavy borrowing now not only diminishes available credit for economic expansion, but fundamentally undermines confidence in the government's credit rating and solvency.

[Badger]

LEADING ECONOMIC INDICATORS DECLINE HEAVILY:

REPORTS INDICATE LEAK OF REPORT HELPED FUEL STOCK MARKET DROP

(AMPG) Measurements of Leading Economic Indicators (LEI) for Atlasia decreased by 1.2 percent in November to 101.2 (2004 = 100), raising concerns over a renewed recession. Rapidly declining consumer confidence is primarily blamed for the fall. The drop reported yesterday is one of the largest single month declines in LEI Index history.

In related news, rumors circulated on Wall Street that the pessimistic new report was learned of in advance by some traders leading to huge drops in the ANSE Index in the last week. Multiple brokerage firm spokespersons declined to comment for this story, but one long time and respected trader who declined to be identified stated: "This was apparently fell in somebody's lap and was supposed to be used by a few business colleagues, but by noontime Monday the [LEI] report was the worst kept secret on the [ANSE] floor".

The leaked report's damage to stock prices appears to have already been inflicted, as the ANSE Index dropped just under 3% to 764.27, down 22.11 points from Tuesday's close. When asked how the Index would likely proceed from this point one respected market analyst opined "F%$k all if anyone has a clue".

[Sibboleth]

Ah, so you've hit the stage of repeating that there's a crisis?

[Purple State]

Ah, so you've hit the stage of repeating that there's a crisis?

I think he's in a better place than earlier GMs, if only for the fact that as a former GM and a cranky retired president I have made it my singular mission to ensure that GM dispatches are taken seriously and noticed by the government and the people.

[Badger]

REGIONAL UNEMPLOYMENT RATES: DEC 2010

Northeast: 7.8%

Mideast: 9.2%

Southeast: 8.6%

Midwest: 7.0%

Pacific: 10.4%

[oakvale]

Pacific: 10.4%

Aw damn it.

[Badger]

Yep. sucks to be Cali nowadays.

[Badger]

STOCKS CONTINUE SLIDE AMID WEAKENING ECONOMIC GROWTH:

(AMPG) Stocks closed over 4% lower Wednesday after the government announced economic growth came to a near standstill in November. The ANSE Index dropped 31.04 points to close at 733.23. The a surge of selling started shortly after noon when the Bureau of Labor Statistics announced the national GDP grew a mere 0.3% in November. While government economists were quick to note such stagnant growth does not technically constitute a recession, AMPG analysts were pessimistic for a reversal of such unfavorable trends in coming months.

[Proud Lieberal from Northeast]

Midwest: 7.0%

Haha!

We're the best (or lowest, which means best)

[Citizen (The) Doctor]

Pacific: 10.4%

Aw damn it.

CRAP.

[Badger]

STOCK MARKET HITS SLIDE AGAIN:

Potential Embargo of Foreign Oil Creates Jitters Throughout Economy:

(AMPG) Investors panicked at the potential of an oil embargo against many of Atlasias biggest energy suppliers sent stocks into a tailspin Friday, as stocks dropped 28.12 points before closing at 705.11. The drop spanned almost every sector of the economy as traders braced for a possible heavy spike in gas prices.

A trader from one of the larger trading firms was quoted: "Just when we're barely coming out of one of the most volatile 3 weeks in decades, and the government decides to seriously consider stopping oil imports from Saudi Arabia and Nigeria? This is decidedly not what the market needed now."

"Please just give us stability. Tax us, don't tax us, just for the love of Mary be consistent!"

AMPG's market analyst was found at his favorite barstool and stated: "An oil shortage and price jump hits everything from agriculture to manufacturing, to every item in the economic chain that has to be shipped from point of origin. In other words, everything. And where are we going to replace it? Canada already ships us every spare drop of oil they produce or import. Mexico lacks the extra refining capacity, Venezuela isn't any better, and would involve kowtowing to Chavez. On top of that the timing of the economy slowing markedly is just awful."

"This could get really ugly."

One sector spared the drop were energy companies without major Saudi or Nigerian investments, which rose to somewhat counter the market's general drop. The spokesperson of one such company stated: "This bill will be a boon for Atlasian energy producers and consumers alike in the long run. We can finally reinvest in domestic exploration and refining to remove our dangerous dependence."

The spokesman continued: "I gotta hand it to Senator Bgwah. He knows what he's doing here. Now that we can drill in ANWR there'll be plenty of opportunity to......he did what? Introduced a bill to ban what?!? SON OF A B$%^&!"

Some traders were more sanguine about the bill's potential effects. One trader stated on condition of anonymity: "Sure, cutting oil imports by a quarter on its face would be lousy for the economy, but will this bill really accomplish that? The Saudis and Nigerians will have to dump their oil somewhere on the commodities market and that'll lower prices for their other non-Atlasian buyers and loosen up supply elsewhere. Yes, Atlasia will wind up paying through the nose, but it won't be quite the quarter decrease in supply everyone's talking about. I personally plan on making a killing when prices rise after this overreaction. I'll buy off the panickers like there was no tomorrow. Um, this is all off the record, right? Oh, good."

[HappyWarrior]

Chavez is no longer in power for the record.

[Californian Tony]

Chavez is no longer in power for the record.

Don't tell me we overthrew him !

[Purple State]

Chavez is no longer in power for the record.

Don't tell me we overthrew him !

Colombia did after the two countries went to war.

[Sewer]

maybe he got back in power or something

[Californian Tony]

Chavez is no longer in power for the record.

Don't tell me we overthrew him !

Colombia did after the two countries went to war.

LOL When did it happen ?

[Purple State]

Chavez is no longer in power for the record.

Don't tell me we overthrew him !

Colombia did after the two countries went to war.

LOL When did it happen ?

When I was GM. Find the Atlasia Dispatch-Herald, about midway through maybe?

[Badger]

Thanks for the correction. Before my time. The AMPG contacted the market analyst for a correction who blamed the mistake on too much Johnny Walker.

The analyst concedes the error, but notes that even upon further (sober) review of data his original assessment of the lack of available supply and refining capabilities in Venezuela does not change his underlying prognosis.

[Badger]

Stocks Rise With Amendment of Human Rights Act:

(AMPG) Stocks are enjoying one of their best days this month following the Senate's passage of an amendment to the Human Rights Act which would not mandate trade embargoes against some of Atlasia's largest energy suppliers. The ANSE Index is up over 15 points as of noontime today.

The original act would have mandated a trade embargo against any country mandating the death penalty for homosexuality, which would have included Saudi Arabia and Nigeria which together provide over a quarter of the nation's imported crude oil. While jitters over the bill's potential passage sparked a selloff earlier this week, investors were heartened by news an amendment was passed by the Senate late last night amending the Act to simply allow asylum of persons from such countries persecuted for their sexual orientation.

Market insiders say this turns a corner in the economy and nothing bad could possibly happen in the forseeable future.

[Badger]

BREAKING NEWS: MARKET PANICS OVER RUMORS FROM CHINA!

Investors Cry: "What the f$#k?!?"

(APMG) Reports from the market floor indicate a sudden flurry of selling, threatening to reverse gains made by the ANSE Index earlier this morning. The chaotic nature on the trading floor make it impossible to determine what exactly is going on this moment. One hysterical trader was heard screaming as he ran by: "They're cutting the purse strings! They're cutting us off! The Chine.....".

Details to follow after the AMPG Employee Christmas Party this afternoon.

[Thomas D]

Oh This can't be good.

[Badger]

CHINESE GOVERNEMENT IN DEBATE TO SLASH LENDING TO ATLASIA:

Negotiations Within Government Reportedly "Highly Volatile".

Stocks Fluctuate Wildly, Then Drop.

(AMPG) Reporters have learned the highest levels of the Chinese government are seriously considering a move to drastically reduce, or even eliminate, further lending to finance the Atlasian national debt. While no decision has been announced, insiders report meetings have been held by top officials in the PRC establishment all week.

SoEA Hashemite is currently in China on an East Asian diplomatic tour. EA Office spokespersons declined to comment whether the Secretary's presence in the country was related to the ongoing debate, but confirmed "the matter was being addressed and an open line of discussion is being conducted".

Economists expressed deep concern over the effects such a move by the PRC would have on the Atlasian economy. AMPG reporters sought comment from prominent Nyman economists, but all were discovered to be frantically divesting their retirement accounts so reporters spoke to a teaching assistant playing Warcraft. "We simply don't have sufficient control over government spending and revenue to ween ourselves from foreign financing of our debt. There's serious question as to whether the additional lending reserves world wide could pick up the slack, even after Chinese lending was re-routed elsewhere into the markets."

The TA expert explained the possible ramifications: "At minimum this would sharply increase intrest rates, not only for the government debt, but for the much much larger private markets as well. This is the last thing the economy needs right now. That's actually not the worst case scenario".

"Even a partial default on a portion of the debt, while not at all likely, is at least an outside chance."

The highly skilled and learned expert continued: "The real question is why they're doing this?" This would severely hurt the Chinese economy as well. They make good money off the interest and, more importantly, rely on Atlasian borrowing and consumption to fuel their economic growth. They're in a much better position than we are currently with average GDP growth around 8%, but this could put even their economy into recession by putting ours in depression. Hey, you won't tell anyone I'm using a lab computer for this, right? I mean I'm not supposed to and those could cost my job, and my mother is sick so any publicity would completely ruin m..."

The AMPG foreign affairs analyst is on vacation for the holidays in a remote cabin, and when contacted back merely texted back: "The Chinese motivation here isn't economics. Quite the opposite actually. Figure it out. Now f#$k off so I can get back to my hot tub".

Stocks tumbled dramatically upon the news, only to recover upon hearing the Atlasian government was involved in negotiations with the PRC, only for stocks to plummet just before close upon learning the negotiations were being led by Hashemite. "He speaks French!" one trader exclaimed, "He'll surrender within the first 10 minutes!".

[Badger]

UNEMPLOYMENT CONTINUES TO RISE; REACHES 9%

The Atlasian GM's Office announces that national unemployment has reached 9.0% as of December, up 0.2% from last month. Likewise, the Regional unemployment numbers for December have had to be similarly readjusted to account for heavy job losses during the latter part of the month. The post holiday shedding of jobs has far exceeded seasonal adjustments, indicating businesses may be planning retrenchment rather than expansion during the foreseeable future.

[Badger]

ADJUSTED REGIONAL UNEMPLOYMENT RATES: DEC 2010

Northeast: 8.0%

Mideast: 9.4%

Southeast: 8.8%

Midwest: 7.2%

Pacific: 10.6%