Northeast Assembly Legislation Introduction Thread

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

Amendment to the SOAP (Standing Order on Assembly Procedure)

Section 1, subsection A of the SOAP is amended to read

(a) The Speaker or Lieutenant Governor shall open a new Northeast Assembly Legislation Introduction Thread at the start of each session, or the one from the previous session may be carried over into the next session, at the Speaker's discretion.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

Northeast Regional Drinking Policy

1. In accordance The Regional Legal Age Act, the Northeast hereby sets the drinking age to 18.

2. Any bar, liquor store, or other legitimate distributor unknowingly accepting a false ID will not be penalized.

3. Any bar, liquor store, or other legitimate distributor knowingly accepting a false ID shall be fined no less than $5,000, and no greater than $10,000.

4. Any minor having been found using a false ID shall face destruction of the ID in question and twenty-four hours of community service.

5. With permission of a parent or legal guardian, a minor has permission to consume, but not purchase, alcohol, including but not limited to: wine, champagne, beer, whiskey, liquor, etc.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

My colleague Governor Tmthforu94 has lent a helping hand to the Northeast by authoring this Constitutional amendment. I am submitting it and sponsoring it on his behalf:

You must be logged in to read this quote.

The Northeast Assembly can choose how many members they wish to have in the Assembly, but I am asking the Northeast Assembly to cut the number down from 8.

I shall sponsor this, as I'm not sure if the Governor can be an official 'sponsor' (what with friendly amendments and what not.)

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

End to Alcohol Control Act

1. Businesses with liquor permits shall be allowed to sell liquor, beer, wine, or other alcoholic beverages to those 16 or older (with proper identification) until 2 AM on any day of the week.

2. Government-owned liquor stores shall be auctioned to the highest bidder.

3. Local governments may not restrict alcohol sales in conflict with this law.

X Senator Napoleon

X Dallasfan65

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

[quote]Another Budget Improvement Amendment

Section 2 of the Budget Procedure Act is amended to read:

1. Each budget presented shall demonstrate public expenditures in total dollars.

    $ - School aid
        $..... Elementary, Secondary & Vocational education
        $..... Higher education
    $ - Economic development
        $ ...... Community development
        $ ...... Area and regional development
    $ - Transportation
        $ ..... Highways and highway safety
        $ ..... Mass transit
        $ ..... Railroads
        $ ..... Air Transportation
        $ ..... Water transportation
        $ ..... Other transportation
        $ ..... Non-Highway Roads
    $ - Public safety
    $ - Health services
        $ ..... Substance abuse and mental health services
        $ ..... Disease control, public health and bioterrorism
        $ ..... Health research and training
        $ ..... Food safety and occupational health and safety
        $ ..... Other health care services
    $ - Tax expenditures
    $ - Environment & energy
        $ ..... Loans to be granted to energy companies that have a responsible environmental track record, are seriously attempting to develop clean energy alternatives, push for energy efficiency and/or have an approved plan to do so.
        $ ..... Fund for alternative energy
        $ ..... Updating the Northeast's current energy infrastructure
        $ ..... Refitting all government buildings to run on clean energy
    $ - Direct aid & incentives to municipalities
    $ - Government administration

TOTAL EXPENDITURES - $

Disaster Relief Fund: The Northeast Assembly is advised to appropriate 20% of all budget surpluses to a Disaster Relief Fund which may be spent during emergencies at the discretion of the Governor via executive order.

The existing funds in the Disaster Relief Fund shall be listed in each budget.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

[quote]Northeast Polygraph Reform Act

Section 1:
1. The Northeast recognizes that polygraphs can be unreliable and faulty.
2. Northeastern law enforcement agencies are hereby prohibited from using polygraph tests in criminal matters.

Section 2:
1. It shall no longer be a crime to proliferate information on countering polygraph tests.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

Northeast Recognition Omnibus

Section 1:
1. Chester County, PA shall henceforth be known as Bullmoose88 County, PA.
2. Hartford County, CT shall henceforth be known as Andrew County, CT.
3. Middlesex County, MA shall henceforth be known as Moderate County, MA.
4. Queens County, NY shall henceforth be known as Cinyc County, NY.
5. Worcester County, MA shall henceforth be known as Libertas County, MA.
6. Mercer County, NJ, shall henceforth be known as Han County, NJ.
7. Hampden County, MA, shall henceforth be known as Kal County, MA.
8. New Haven County, CT shall henceforth be known as Napoleon County, CT.
9. Schenectady County, NY shall henceforth be known as Nix County, NY.
10. Kent County, RI shall henceforth be known as Winfield County, RI.
11. Fairfield County, CT shall henceforth be known as Scott County, CT.
12. Tolland County, CT shall henceforth be known as Cooking County, CT.
13. Erie County, NY shall henceforth be known as Cincinnatus County, NY.
14. Nassau County, NY shall henceforth be known as Nicholas County, NY.
15. Belknap County, NH shall henceforth be known as Goldwater County, NH.
16. Providence County, RI shall henceforth be known as Bore County, RI.
17. Bennington County, VT shall henceforth be known as Earth County, VT.

Section 2:

1. The Basset Hound shall henceforth be known as the Northeast regional dog.
2. Upon passage of this legislation, "Happy" by Pharrell is hereby banned in the Northeast.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

[quote]FitzGerald Act

Section 1:

1) Upon passage of this legislation, THC testing shall no longer be used by law enforcement to prosecute cases of DUID (driving under impairment of drugs.)

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[/quote]

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

[quote]Northeast Recognition Omnibus

Section 1:
1. Chester County, PA shall henceforth be known as Bullmoose88 County, PA.
2. Hartford County, CT shall henceforth be known as Andrew County, CT.
3. Middlesex County, MA shall henceforth be known as Moderate County, MA.
4. Queens County, NY shall henceforth be known as Cinyc County, NY.
5. Worcester County, MA shall henceforth be known as Libertas County, MA.
6. Mercer County, NJ, shall henceforth be known as Han County, NJ.
7. Hampden County, MA, shall henceforth be known as Kal County, MA.
8. New Haven County, CT shall henceforth be known as Scott County, CT.
9. Schenectady County, NY shall henceforth be known as Nix County, NY.
10. Kent County, RI shall henceforth be known as Winfield County, RI.
11. Fairfield County, CT shall henceforth be known as Napoleon County, CT.
12. Tolland County, CT shall henceforth be known as Cooking County, CT.
13. Erie County, NY shall henceforth be known as Cincinnatus County, NY.
14. Nassau County, NY shall henceforth be known as Nicholas County, NY.
15. Belknap County, NH shall henceforth be known as Goldwater County, NH.
16. Providence County, RI shall henceforth be known as Bore County, RI.
17. Bennington County, VT shall henceforth be known as Earth County, VT.
18. Allegheny County, PA shall henceforth be known as Cynic County, PA
19. Montgomery County, NY shall henceforth be known as Washburn County, NY

Section 2:

1. The Basset Hound shall henceforth be known as the Northeast regional dog.
2. Upon passage of this legislation, "Happy" by Pharrell is hereby banned in the Northeast.
2. Upon passage of this legislation, November 21st shall be considered a day of mourning in the Northeast. The Northeast Assembly also recognizes that Weird Al's parody, "Tacky", is superior to "Happy" by Pharrell.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

Anybody want to sponsor this for me?

You must be logged in to read this quote.

I'll take it

And since JoMCar's account is in purgatory, I will.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

[quote]Return to Normalcy Act

1. The People's Defense Against Distracted Driving Act of 2012 is hereby repealed.
2. Fort Lee, NJ's prohibition on texting while walking is hereby repealed.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

[quote]Freedom of Speech Reiteration Act

Section 1:
1. Upon passage of this legislation, Northeastern public classrooms shall no longer recite the Pledge of Allegiance.
2. In memoriam of the Supreme Court's ruling on Scott v. The Northeast, teachers may opt to play "Tacky" by Weird Al Yankovic before class on November 21st, at their discretion.

Section 2:
1. The Northeast Voluntary Prayer Act is repealed upon passage of this legislation.
2. Students in Northeastern public schools may still pray during lunch and/or recess hours, as applicable.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

You must be logged in to read this quote.