Northeast Assembly Legislation Introduction Thread

[tpfkaw]

Motion to impeach Lt. Gov. Fezzyfestoon for dereliction of duty.

[tpfkaw]

Nullification Resolution

The Northeast Assembly asserts its authority, when a federal law, order, treaty, ruling, regulation etc. is unconstitutional (either being not contained within the powers enumerated by the the constitution, or otherwise in violation of the rights guaranteed by the constitution), to declare that Federal action to be illegal, and to prevent its being enforced within the Northeast with appropriate legislation.

Nullification Resolution Amendment 1 (these would be all friendly, obviously, but I want each part to be voted on separately).

The Northeast Assembly acknowledges that the Governor is Commander-in-Chief of all military, paramilitary, and militia forces raised at the regional level, and that they may not be placed under Federal command without permission from the Governor.

Nullification Resolution Amendment 2

The Northeast Assembly acknowledges the authority of state and local governments, when a regional law, order, treaty, agreement, regulation etc. is unconstitutional (either being not contained within the powers enumerated by the the regional constitution, or otherwise in violation of the rights guaranteed by the regional constitution), to declare that regional action to be illegal, and to prevent its being enforced within their state or local borders with appropriate legislation.

[tpfkaw]

The Random Statist Mandate Act (RSM) - Will Dallasfan Vote for It?

1. As of April 1, 2011, all schools and workplaces will be required to provide chocolate to anyone who requests it, charging no more that $0.

2. The amount of chocolate provided must be sufficient.

3. The chocolate must be suitably high-quality.

4. Schools and workplaces must also provide toothbrushes, toothpaste, and dental floss free of cost to prevent tooth decay from the chocolate.

5. Schools and workplaces must also keep their restroom sinks to a reasonable degree of cleanliness, so that they may be used for oral hygienic purposes.

6. An independent commission shall be created to enforce these regulations.

7. The independent commission shall be empowered to impose fines of no more than seventy trillion dollars ($70,000,000,000,000) for violations of these regulations.

8. The independent commission shall be empowered to create any additional regulations necessary or useful to the enforcement of those above.

[tpfkaw]

The Theft Prevention Act of 2010

1.  The Governor is hereby authorized to use any means at his disposal to prevent revenues from all taxes, subscriptions, charges, fees etc. collected by the Republic of Atlasia from reaching the Treasury UNLESS

i.  The Senate passes by a simple majority, and the President signs, a resolution specifically requesting said revenues from the Northeast.

And EXCEPT

ii.  For all voluntary and/or "a la carte" fees charged for individual federal government goods and services.

[tpfkaw]

I'll sponsor that as our next order of business after this bill.

[tpfkaw]

The Northeast Omnibus Anti-Fascism Act

1.  The Bipartisan Safe Sex Education Act is amended to allow students to voluntarily withdraw from sex education, or at the request of their parents.

2.  The Northeastern Green Jobs Act is hereby repealed.

3.  The Northeastern Home Ownership Protection Act of 2009 is hereby repealed.

4.  The Sustainable Forestry Act is hereby repealed.

5.  The second amendment to the Northeast Gun Safety Act is hereby repealed.

6.  Sections 2 and 3 of the Practical Labor Policy Redux are hereby repealed.

7.  The Combat HIV/AIDS Act of 2010 is hereby repealed.  Any existing needle exchanges will be provided with $100,000 to continue operation as nonprofit organizations.

8.  The Prisoner Diet Reform Act is hereby repealed.

[tpfkaw]

The Self-Ownership Act (Or, the If You Are Pro-Choice and You Oppose This Then You Are a Hypocrite Act)

1. All persons are defined as the sole owners of their bodily organs.
2. Any non-minor person who has not been deemed mentally incompetent by a judge shall be allowed to sell their non-essential organs (such as the kidneys, skin, and spleen) to others.
3. Any organ removal surgery must be performed under standard levels of anesthesia and cleanliness by a licensed surgeon.
4. The surgeon must inform the donor of the potential risks of organ removal surgery.
5. All donors must be blood-tested for diseases transmittable through organ donation surgery.
6. A surgeon may, at his or her own discretion, declare a person mentally incompetent for the purposes of selling his or her bodily organs.
7. Unlawfully coercing a person to sell his or her bodily organs shall be a felony punishable by not less than 60 months in prison and/or a fine of not less than $50,000.  Attempting to unlawfully coerce a person to sell his or her bodily organs shall be a felony punishable by not less than 30 months in prison and/or a fine of not less than $25,000.
8. Persons with valid organ donor cards shall be eligible for a $500 yearly tax credit.

[tpfkaw]

The Public Safety Act of 2011

1. Any seller of firearms may refuse a sale to any buyer for any reason.
2. Any laws preventing the preceding clause from taking effect are hereby amended to allow it to do so.

[tpfkaw]

The Un-Stealing Bill

All unimproved regional lands shall be immediately transferred to the original Indian tribes indigenous to said lands.

[tpfkaw]

The Airport Renaming Act

1. John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York City is hereby renamed the Henry Cabot Lodge Jr. International Airport

2. LaGuardia International Airport in New York City is hereby renamed the Seth Low International Airport.

[tpfkaw]

Undoing Unconstitutional, Undemocratic, and Evil "Review" (Binding Resolution)

The Northeast Assembly

1. Repeals the "Statutory Review Commission Report"
2. Expresses the sense of the Assembly that the creation of such a body in the first place, without any authority to do so in the Northeast constitution, is unconstitutional.

[tpfkaw]

Resolution:

The "Scott Doctrine" is hereby repealed.

[tpfkaw]

The Miscarraige of Justice Prevention Act

1. Jury instructions

Jury instructions in criminal cases with not-guilty pleas from this point on must include the following phrasing:

"Your job, as jurors, is to decide whether the defendant is guilty beyond all reasonable doubt.  This does not mean that you should always convict if you believe the defendant is probably guilty; it means that you should convict only if there is no reasonable possibility that the subject is innocent.  The legal system in the Northeast Region presumes that all defendants are innocent.  You must presume that the defendant in this case is innocent, and ascertain whether the evidence in this case proves the defendant guilty, beyond all reasonable doubt."

2. Conviction percentage as grounds for reward

The Attorney General's office, and the District Attorney's offices, may not use percentage of cases resulting in convictions as a criterion for either promotion or reward.  Violation of this law shall be considered a felony punishable by not less than 5 years in prison and/or a fine of not less than $500,000.

3. Police and government official testimony

Judges must instruct jurors that testimony from police officers or other government officials cannot be considered any more credible than testimony from any other person, as needed.

4. Lineup procedures

a. An officer administering a photo or live lineup array must not know which individual in the lineup is the suspect.

b. All individuals in a lineup must resemble the eyewitness's initial description of the perpetrator, including race, hair color, eye color, facial hair, etc.  The suspect should not be the only individual in the lineup with a certain obvious feature unless unavoidable (for example, a distinctive tattoo or scar).

c. Eyewitnesses may not be shown multiple lineups with the same suspect.

d. The person viewing a lineup must be told that the perpetrator may not be in the lineup and that the investigation will continue regardless of the lineup result. They must also be told not to look to the administrator for guidance.

e. Immediately following the lineup procedure, the eyewitness must provide a statement, in his or her own words, articulating his or her level of confidence in the identification.

f. All lineup procedures must be videotaped.

g. Lineups must be performed sequentially (the eyewitness views each individual one by one) rather than simultaneously (the eyewitness views all individuals in the lineup at once).

h. Suspects who were convicted in substantial part due to lineup procedures which did not follow the rules of conduct listed above shall be entitled to appeal their case on those grounds, even if they already have prior to the passage of this law.

5. Discredited forms of evidence

a. Discredited and pseudoscientific forms of evidence collection, including hair and fiber analysis, bite mark analysis, firearm mark analysis, shoe print comparison, polygraph examinations, and testimony obtained under hypnosis shall be considered inadmissable as evidence in a court of law.

b. Suspects who were convicted in substantial part due to the discredited forms of evidence listed above shall be entitled to appeal their case on those grounds, even if they already have prior to the passage of this law.

6. Serology

a. Before expert testimony regarding serology (blood type analysis), the presiding Judge must instruct the jurors that the victim's and perpetrator's blood may have mixed, possibly yielding a false result as to the perpetrator's blood type, and that millions of different people in the Northeast Region share any given blood type.

b. Experts presenting serology may not provide the jury with statistics about percentages of the population which have certain blood types, given that this testimony has been frequently shown to be inaccurate and there are wide fluctuations in the prevalence of certain blood types between different races, ethnicities, and regions of the country.

c. Suspects who were convicted in substantial part due to expert testimony involving serology which did not follow the rules of conduct listed above shall be entitled to appeal their case on those grounds, even if they already have prior to the passage of this law.

7. Interrogations

a. All interrogations of suspects must be videotaped.

b. Judges must instruct the jury in cases of juveniles or mentally retarded individuals that juveniles and mentally retarded individuals often do not understand their situation and are particularly likely to give false confessions.

c. Suspects who were convicted or pled guilty in substantial part due to interrogations which did not follow the rules of conduct listed above shall be entitled to appeal their case on those grounds, even if they already have prior to the passage of this law.

8. Informant testimony

a. Whenever testimony from a prison informant is used, the presiding Judge must instruct the jury that most informant testimony is unreliable as it may be offered in return for deals, special treatment, or the dropping of charges.

b. Prosecutors must reveal any incentive the informant receives, and all communication between prosecutors and informants must be videotaped.

c. Suspects who were convicted in substantial part due to informant testimony which did not follow the rules of conduct listed above shall be entitled to appeal their case on those grounds, even if they already have prior to the passage of this law.

9. New use of DNA evidence

a. All persons convicted in cases where DNA evidence remains but was not presented in the original trial or an appeal are entitled to have DNA testing performed on said evidence.

b. Suspects who were convicted in substantial part in a case where possible DNA evidence existed shall be entitled to appeal their case on those grounds, even if they already have prior to the passage of this law.

c. Possible DNA evidence may not be destroyed.  Violation of this law shall be a misdemeanor punishable by not more than 1 year in prison and/or a fine of not more than $25,000.

10. Double jeopardy

a. A suspect must be charged with all charges relating to a specific offense at his or her original trial.  Suspects may not be brought up on new charges relating to the same defense unless prosecutors can reasonably show that they have found new evidence relating to these new charges since the initial trial.

b. Suspects may not be named in both a criminal and a civil suit relating to the same offense.

c. Suspects may not be charged with regional charges relating to a specific offense after having already been charged relating to that offense at the Federal level.

d. Suspects may not be remanded into Federal custody to be charged related to a specific offense after having already been charged relating to that offense at the regional level.  Regional authorities may not assist Federal authorities in investigating or apprehending suspects already charged at the regional level.  Suspects must be placed into anonymous protective custody provided by the region at their request, if they reasonably believe they will be Federally charged related to a specific offense after having already been charged relating to that offense at the regional level.

[tpfkaw]

The Dihydrogen Monoxide Ban Act

Recognizing that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance more addictive than heroin, crack cocaine, or crystal meth, and causes severe withdrawal symptoms upon cessation of use, that dihydrogen monoxide is a frequently used "party drug," that well-known athletes have been known to abuse dihydrogen monoxide in order to increase performance, that the vast majority of users of cannabis, cocaine, meth, PCP and other drugs have reported "swigging" as a gateway behavior, that dihydrogen monoxide is often sweetened with sugar and marketed to small children in flavors like "cherry" and "root beer," and that dihydrogen monoxide is often mixed with other narcotics to enhance their effects, dihydrogen monoxide is hereby banned in the Northeast region.  Any stocks found are to be incinerated.

[tpfkaw]

The Incredibly Important Act

The Northeast Region shall hereafter be renamed "The Funky Northeast Love Pad."

[tpfkaw]

Amendment to new SOPA

The sections under "Legislative Slot 2" and "Legislative Slot 3" shall be deleted and replaced with the following:

Legislative Slot 2: Any legislation proposed by an Assemblyman or the Governor shall be placed in this slot, in the order that it is proposed.

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(inspired by http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/03/25/us-usa-cheney-idUSBRE82N0FK20120325)

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