Office of Northeast Assemblyman, Comrade Rocky

[Robespierre's Jaw]

THE OFFICE OF NORTHEAST ASSEMBLYMAN
COMRADE ROCKY (UNION OF THE DEMOCRATIC LEFT)
PORTLAND, MAINE

PRESS RELEASE
7 DECEMBER, 2010

Comrades,

A few moments ago, it came to my attention that I would, once again, be serving our region - this time in the capacity of an Assemblyman.

In my first act as an Assemblyman, I would like to thank those who were able to put their trust in a man, who rather championed witticisms than that of the Northeast. After all, in height of the global financial crisis, and no political office to cling onto, I was forced into situations that I would rather forget - even during the campaign. Though if I were from the Pacific, perhaps I wouldn't be reflecting with much distress...It is of a direct consequence of my financial woes that this was the only office I was able to attain. Now we can finally appreciate the subprime homeloan.

In spite of my many personal crises, that are bound to remain - as our the current stains to that of the Northeastern Constitution and Barry Goldwater's Conscience of the Conservative; though nobody has discover my singular copy of Leon Trotsky's My Life yet; I thank you, my comrades for this opportunity.

Questions and feedback are appreciated. And calling cards can be found lying around the room. Remember, I there are no surcharges on Wednesdays and I am open to most propositions. Evidenced during my first tenure as Lieutenant Governor of the Northeast in the public and private sphere.

Good and Good Luck,
Comrade Rocky

[Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey]

Congratulations on your election, Representative Rocky.

[Robespierre's Jaw]

Congratulations on your election, Representative Rocky.

Cheers, Governor.

I take it as a badge of honour that your mob preferenced me last

[Rowan]

Let's get this party started comrade!

[Robespierre's Jaw]

Let's get this party started comrade!

Likewise Representative Brandon. And congratulations, too on your victory.

[Robespierre's Jaw]

THE OFFICE OF NORTHEAST ASSEMBLYMAN
COMRADE ROCKY (UNION OF THE DEMOCRATIC LEFT)
PORTLAND, MAINE

PRESS RELEASE
8 DECEMBER, 2010

Comrades,

A few moments ago, I delivered my maiden speech in the Northeast Assembly. While being a member of this institution for a solitary day, the capital flows are still, as of yet non existent; and, as a consequence I am unable to hire any staff. Speechwriters, unfortunately fall under this category and until capital flows, from either public office or private endeavours are finally received I will be forced to rely on other means to communicate. However, fear not. For Lawrence Olivier has, on my behalf fought off potential personal and political embarrassment.

A transcript of the speech can be found below.

Mr. President and Governors of the Academy, Committee Members, fellows, my very noble and approved good masters, my colleagues, my friends, my fellow-students. In the great wealth, the great firmament of your nation's generosity, this particular choice may perhaps be found by future generations as a trifle eccentric, but the mere fact of it--the prodigal, pure, human kindness of it--must be seen as a beautiful star in that firmament which shines upon me at this moment, dazzling me a little, but filling me with warmth and the extraordinary elation, the euphoria that happens to so many of us at the first breath of the majestic glow of a new tomorrow.

From the top of this moment, in the solace, in the kindly emotion that is charging my soul and my heart at this moment, I thank you for this great gift which lends me such a very splendid part in this, your glorious occasion. Thank you.

Good and Good Luck,
Comrade Rocky