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Author Topic: Weekly Atlasia News (BAAAACK!)  (Read 1513 times)
MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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« on: January 07, 2011, 06:43:10 PM »
« edited: April 25, 2013, 01:48:03 PM by Senator-elect Kalwejt (Liberal-VT) »
With my press empire growing, I feel it is a time for some serious, realiable news source.

After all, who cares about some interviews with random dudes or news?

Hereby, I present to you...
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2011, 01:06:30 AM »
Old Man Goes Mad; Thinks He's a Senator

An old, unemployed since 2003, man from Georgia (Southeast Region) was taken into an asylum after he repeatedly claimed to be a "Barnes".


Barnes, a former Senator at-large, is still missing since his mysterious disappearance in November.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2011, 07:21:14 AM »
Missing Bicyclist Is Alive

The Missing Bicyclist from Pacific has been spotted alive and well in Portland, Oregon.


Now, it's evident to all of us that Mr. Mechaman's campaign for a Pacific Senate seat, held by a powerful incumbent SatanJesusL. Ron Hubbardbgwah (JCP-PA), was founded on a lies.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2011, 07:24:28 AM »
Lime Green Killer Arrested

Mr. Ernest, former [insert random Atlasian office here], has been arrested and detained while trying to escape to the Southeast.

Ernest, also known as a "Lime Green Killer" (pictured below), attempted to leave Midwest, but upon orders from RG Hans, Atlasia Marshals stopped him at the airport.

The coming fate of Mr. Ernest is unclear.
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Antonio the Sixth
Antonio V
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« Reply #4 on: January 08, 2011, 08:24:52 AM »
Great ! Cheesy

Quote from: FREE EINZIGE! on January 07, 2011, 06:43:10 PM
With my press empire growing, I feel it is a time for some serious, realiable news source.

Though serious and reliable is not exactly the words I would use... Tongue
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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« Reply #5 on: January 08, 2011, 08:43:47 AM »
Quote from: Senator Antonio V on January 08, 2011, 08:24:52 AM
Great ! Cheesy

Quote from: FREE EINZIGE! on January 07, 2011, 06:43:10 PM
With my press empire growing, I feel it is a time for some serious, realiable news source.

Though serious and reliable is not exactly the words I would use... Tongue

You didn't get WWN reference Tongue
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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« Reply #6 on: January 08, 2011, 08:44:40 AM »
Shocking Discovery
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Antonio the Sixth
Antonio V
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« Reply #7 on: January 08, 2011, 08:46:56 AM »
Who is this guy, Tim Pawlenty ? I don't know any Atlasian officeholder with this name. Tongue
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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« Reply #8 on: January 09, 2011, 10:04:52 AM »
Vice President Goes Mad; Stopped by a Capitol Police

Vice President Kalwejt (UDL-Awe) goes mad yesterday and attempted to close PPT declaration thread 24 hours before a deadline. Two Capitol Police officers successfully stopped the nut and took him to the custody, so he could finally have his medication.
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#CriminalizeSobriety
Dallasfan65
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« Reply #9 on: January 09, 2011, 11:59:06 AM »
Can I get a subscription?
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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« Reply #10 on: January 11, 2011, 08:35:33 AM »
Scandal: The Vice President Received A Gifts From An Evil Regime


For even worse, he's just about to hang a large Saudi propaganda poster in his room.
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Antonio the Sixth
Antonio V
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« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2011, 08:48:04 AM »
TERRORIST !!! DIE !!! Angry Angry Angry
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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« Reply #12 on: January 11, 2011, 09:07:07 AM »
Senator Made A Hateful Remark
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Antonio the Sixth
Antonio V
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« Reply #13 on: January 11, 2011, 09:46:34 AM »

Of course some insane guy might want to shoot you after reading that, but I hope your friends won't try to exploit that for petty political reasons. You know, words don't kill people. Grin
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Grumpier Than Uncle Joe
GM3PRP
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« Reply #14 on: January 11, 2011, 10:45:22 AM »
Quote from: Buddy Roemer Is A Sexgod on January 11, 2011, 08:35:33 AM
Scandal: The Vice President Received A Gifts From An Evil Regime


For even worse, he's just about to hang a large Saudi propaganda poster in his room.

You look like a child of Saddam Hussein.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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« Reply #15 on: January 11, 2011, 10:54:15 AM »
Quote from: Bunning for VP on January 11, 2011, 10:45:22 AM
Quote from: Buddy Roemer Is A Sexgod on January 11, 2011, 08:35:33 AM
Scandal: The Vice President Received A Gifts From An Evil Regime


For even worse, he's just about to hang a large Saudi propaganda poster in his room.

You look like a child of Saddam Hussein.

Wrong, I'm looking like Kentucky's Lt. Governor.
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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« Reply #16 on: January 11, 2011, 07:48:23 PM »
« Edited: January 11, 2011, 07:49:55 PM by Buddy Roemer Is A Sexgod »
Yates Funeral Attended By The Masses

Former Vice President Yates has been given a state funeral with full military honors in Springfield, Illinois, Mideast Region, and his final goodbye was attended by a mourning masses.


He was such a good man, Mrs. Taylor, a housewive who travelled all the way from Alabama, told our reported. He wanted things changed.

Yates was a great man. I don't mind if he faked his brain tumor. Now I'll never see his TL completed, former Senator AndrewCT, who travelled from his Connecticut home, wept openly.

RPP, Mideast and Atlasia lost a true stateman and a genius of his times, second only to Mr. Sexy Hair, Governor Tmthforu said.

Mr. Yates has been shot to death by Sheriff Gustaf Arpaio, when he tried to return to Mideast. Mr. Gustaf first raided his presidential HQ, when Yates announced his intentions to save Atlasia and to save himself, and warned him, if he won't stay away, he'll handle this case. A brave Yates with a heart of lion did not listen.

I don't care, Sheriff Gustaf Arpaio told our reporter. This troll was not welcomed in my land, f**king clear? I warned him, but he continued to troll. Now, get the hell out of here, or I'll smash you with my mighty Swedish fist.


Sheriff Gustaf Arpaio does not care about people mourning for their hero
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Hash
Hashemite
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« Reply #17 on: January 11, 2011, 07:51:00 PM »
no reactions from Senator Fernando Collor (PTB-AL)?
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Antonio the Sixth
Antonio V
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« Reply #18 on: January 12, 2011, 05:57:37 AM »
ROFL Grin
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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« Reply #19 on: January 12, 2011, 02:01:59 PM »
« Edited: January 12, 2011, 02:07:15 PM by Buddy Roemer Is A Sexgod »
Teddy's Time Is Running Out

Sheriff Gustaf Apario, infamous for his coldblooded murder of an Atlasian stateman Yates, give Teddy (nicknamed "SoFE") a blunt ultimatum.

Be gone by noon, or I'll shot you just like I shoot that little bitch Yates, Mr. Gustaf said. And then, I'll parade with your head across the town.

Teddy, in a very moving gesture, asked the people of Atlasia when should he be gone.


Teddy: Sheriff Gustaf next victim?


Sheriff Gustaf delivering his warming (on the right, his sidekick Popsy, nicknamed MasterJedi)
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RIP Robert H Bork
officepark
Junior Chimp
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« Reply #20 on: January 12, 2011, 02:16:52 PM »
Sad...Rest in Peace, Yates
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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« Reply #21 on: January 28, 2011, 04:21:39 PM »
Bump.

New news are coming soon.
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Modernity has failed us
20RP12
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« Reply #22 on: January 28, 2011, 04:35:38 PM »

WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN
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MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!
Kalwejt
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« Reply #23 on: January 28, 2011, 05:08:52 PM »
Mysterious Killer Strikes Again

Authorities in Phoenix, Arizona, Pacific Region, discovered yet another heavily massacred body. The victim and all previous (3) ones had the same signs and yet one more thing in common: they were registered murderers of UDL.

Mr. Marokai Blue, Arizona resident, is one of the few not scared of mysterious killer murder spree. I know this dude, he's name is Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. He is just a random douche. Just ignore him and all will be fine, he told our reporter.
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