Five Myths about Ronald Reagan

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Your screen name wants me to think how the real Libby would respond to this article.

Um, Ronald Reagan was a socialist/corporatist/neocon/zionist scumbag.

And, um, you hate freedom.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Didn't Reagan sign one of the most liberal abortion laws ever as Governor of California?

that's pretty much a 'myth' too. it allowed for abortion where there birth/pregnancy was a risk to the woman's health.  the definition of health was then expanded far beyond what Reagan imagined it would be, but even then it was far short of what abortion rights would become post-Roe.

[freepcrusher]

I really wish he had ran for re-election in 1974 so he would have lost and he would have been too discouraged to run for president.

[Mechaman]

Five myths about Ronald Reagan:

1. Reagan was so popular that every woman that ever lived wanted to have unprotected sex with him: Not if they were lesbians and therefore not attracted to men.  Plus with the rise in awareness of sexually transmitted diseases during the 80's I highly doubt that many women would want to have sex without the proper precautions with a man they aren't that acquainted with.  Just saying.  Not to mention that Reagan was AT LEAST 90000 years old.  There is only so much wood a woodchuck can chuck wood or whatever the hell that saying is at that age.
2. Reagan was Rocky Movie Montage successful at fixing the economy, lowering taxes, fixing the deficit, and shrinking government: Not at all.  If Reagan was ROCKY MONTAGE SUCCESSFUL he would've had to failed the first time before coming back to make a resurgence against a powerful champion (or in this case incumbent) to overcome all odds.  Also, where in the script does Reagan get thrown out on his ass for trusting his dumbass astrologists with all of his decisions and end his term fighting Jerry Brown in a back alley?  Because I sure as hell don't remember that happening and I watched all 8 years in a row.
3. Reagan loved pre-emptive war to the point that he would've supported world domination: This could only be true if there were a high worldwide demand for jellybeans and Teflon.
4. Reagan loved his wife Nancy in ways that could only be described best by a Phil Collins music video: Hell f***ing no.  Unless Nancy is totally alright with her husband's obsession with Sussudio.  Plus, how could anybody love a woman who despises drugs?  I mean really.......
5. Reagan wept tears every time an unborn fetus was sacrificed to the flames of Moloch: Bullcrappy.  Reagan and Moloch were great and good close friends.  They used to hang out all the time and have dinner at each Moloch's place where the par on course was 4 month old fetii.  In fact Reagan, owing to his proud Irish heritage, took quite a literal interpretation of Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal" and started buttering up as many fine dandy young Hiberno sapiens as he could find for his Ultra Flame Master 50,000.  Unfortunately for Reagan the Irish (on a quest for cheap and efficient potato and whiskey production) discovered America in 1402, thus greatly reducing his supply of "the other OTHER white meat".  It was only after this personal tragedy that Reagan discovered the joys of crack cocaine and Buffalo Wild Wings that he swore off his addiction to the sweet taste of smooth skinned plump Irish babies.