The Al Realpolitik Institute of Sulfur Mining & Extraction

[Paul Kemp]

Vermont didn't get to become the second-poorest state in the Northeast for nothing.

Perhaps it should move itself closer to New York City or Boston.

[Paul Kemp]

Rick Perry is quite a tempting candidate for Republicans to nominate, but I'm just concerned that the Democrats would launch a smear campaign reminding voters of how bad the last two presidents from Texas were (although they weren't actual native born Texans but from Connecticut ).

Because stereotyping a state will definitely make independents vote democrat. That is the dumbest comment I have ever read on here.

Kind of like in 2004 when Bush insisted on referring to his opponent as 'the senator from Massachusetts', you mean?

[Paul Kemp]

The entire thread:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=137426.0

[Paul Kemp]

And who's my Atlas archnemesis?

The Comedy Goldmine.  You'll get in there one day, buddy!

[Paul Kemp]

If we abolished the Senate (which is always controlled by Democrats anyway), then we would have a continually Democratic controlled Congress. NY should have more Represenatives in the House, but,  the Senate adds perfect balance.

None of that made any sense whatsoever.  Literally none.  I wouldn't even know where to start with it.

[Paul Kemp]

Never thought I'd be quoting jmf but I gotta hand it to him here:

This Harry fellow seems to know a bit too much about this forum for a newbie.  A JSojourner sock, perhaps?

no, JSJ is cool

[Paul Kemp]

My God you are irritating.

Don't you have some thread in the Forum Community to post in about what song you're currently listening to?

[Paul Kemp]

I didn't mean to add Gingrich.  Oops.

Your fingers slipped, and accidentally typed "Newt Gingrich"?

[Paul Kemp]

I can PX's excuse.  English isn't his first language;

Or yours, apparently.

Well, Joe, what part of "at least 14 months" don't you understand?    I certainly think Obama will be in office for at least 14 months.  I don't know of anyone expecting him to leave early.

(Franky, the argument I have for staying at least that long is two words:  "President Biden.")

"I can PX's excuse" is not coherent English.  That is all.  Anything else you say is irrelevant.

And don't call me Franky.

[Paul Kemp]

Yeah. There's no way I'm going to read all of that, because it's long and it looks stupid.

Yea. Maybe . . . maybe I'd give it a chance if it wasn't wormy . . .

[Paul Kemp]

You gotta be fucking kidding me.  

You know that I'll never get the last seventeen seconds of my life back.  I might as well have set the clock forward that amount of time.

Seriously, I clicked on your link expecting to see something interesting.  I guess I could see maybe this being a post in an extant thread about movies, or skateboards, or ennui, or even politics, but this, in your considered opinion, merited its own thread?

[Paul Kemp]

I really hate it when the lil kids are bored because school hasn't started back up yet and they pester you with sh**t like this. 

[Paul Kemp]

Well, if polling shows that the Republicans are popular enough in 2012, you'll switch your registration anyway.

[Paul Kemp]

I went to bed last night with Cain as a joke...What the hell happened?

I'm sure most people that bed with you end up considering you a joke

[Paul Kemp]

Joe has five dollars and spends five dollars.  Bob has five dollars and spends four dollars.  Bob has infinity more wealth than Joe.  This is not a problem.

...

...

...

No, I still don't get what brilliant argument you think you're making.

I start to suspect that you're actually a troll who has been trying desperately for years to make libertarianism look bad online. Every night you fall asleep crying because the Paulbots will agree with even the most moronic things you post. You have started to despair about humanity. When you saw this thread you knew that the time had come to make a post that would stand the tooth of Time as a tribute to the idiocy of 'libertarianism', a post that even your average internet libertarian would shy away from while clawing at his eyes and screaming for mercy. A post that would defy the very rules of logic and language, going beyond that what the human mind has been created to capture.

I must say, in just two lines you must just about have managed to create such a masterpiece. I stand in awe.

[Paul Kemp]

He's hailed as this hero because he was the first white English man to discover America.

Learn something new every day.

It was an otherwise great point that was ruined by a heroic gaffe.  This is something I've seen 20RP12 do before... boldly and forcefully stating factually incorrect information.   A few days ago we had this little exchange.

It is a FACT that a majority of black teens in America listen to rap and hiphop. There's not many white kids at Lil Wayne or 50 Cent concerts.

I just wanted to say that the data I've seen seems to indicate the majority (60-80%) of hip hop album sales are to white consumers

For some reason two seconds on the Google machine is two seconds some posters cannot spare.

[Paul Kemp]

Not really an "ohh snap" but a good rebuttal:

Still, your thread title is misleading boss.  Be honest.  It's muckraking, and you have no evidence, only conjecture, that Obama wanted to apologize for nuking them. 

well, unless you think Japan just brought the subject up out of the blue (which would be highly presumptuous), what other conclusion is there?

Well, I started googling, and found a Fox News report that the White House released a press statement today that said Obama never had any intention of doing this.

How well do you know Mitoji Yabunaka?  Who can say why he sent such a cable?  Maybe somebody in the White House simply floated the idea of a visit.  You know, for old time's sake.  And Yabunaka-san just wrote back to say not to do it, adding on his own that an apology wouldn't be in order at this time.  It's quite possible.  We're a strange people in that regard.  Americans are always "Demanding an apology!" or, worse, giving one.  I imagine our nation's real First Black President never owned a slave in his life, but that didn't stop Bubba from apologizing for slavery.  It's a quirk of our culture, somehow, that we have become apologists for everything, and probably foreigners just think of as one of our weird ways.  So when the Obama cabinet member calls up Yabunaka-san and inquires about the possibility of a visit, Yabunaka=san assumes that Obama-san is planning to come to say Me so sorry for bomb.  And Yabunaka-san writes Obama-san and says, "Don't do.  We have enough probrem with China."  Or maybe Hillary just threw it out there and it got around to Yabunaka-san.  I don't know. 

But neither do you. 

[Paul Kemp]

Write in Thad McCotter or Obama or something funny. Jimmy McMillian perhaps?

Yeah, or some other joke of a candidate, like Ron Paul perhaps.

[Paul Kemp]

I saw Rick Santorum on a show in some guys basement once. The studio audience consisted of Keystone Phill and a bunch of stuffed animals. And besides that, at least our cult is sucessfull

You know, Paul's lost his share of elections too. 1974 and 1976 House, 1984 Senate primary, 1988 President, 2008 President primary... Heck, Paul lost to a Robert Casey too. Paul is 9/14 (64.3%) in his "final" elections for a seat before this year. Santorum is 4/5 (80%) in such races, which would have been higher if he would have stayed in the House like Paul.

[Paul Kemp]

I decided I'm not going to watch the Cowboys/Giants game tonight.  I don't want to see the Cowboys get throttled tonight.  I'm watching the Dallas Mavericks vs. Minnesota Timberwolves on NBA League Pass instead.

Good Choice.

I thought so, too, as I did peek in on the score on ESPN.com every so often.

Bushie, I see your sports loyalties are as rock solid as your political ones.

[Paul Kemp]

...

You do know this is a high school newspaper?

You must be logged in to read this quote.

[Paul Kemp]

i need a hint to what the c word is

You are one.

[Paul Kemp]

We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California.

Oh my God

This is a reference to a classic moment of the 2008 Democratic primary, circa late April of that year, in case you were too young to experience it at the time.

[Paul Kemp]

I still don't understand how a thread celebrating insults of one poster to another is allowed to exist if people are regularly being infracted for insulting one another.  Seems a bit....counter productive.  Even more so when you look at how many mods are posting and being quoted in it.

shut up

[Paul Kemp]

So I guess Inks' contribution confirms that we can basically convert this thread into 'The Michael A. Naso Institute of Comedy & Absurd Posts'?  Good deal.