If only Atlas existed...

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

1858 Poll by ModerateDemocrat : Will the Union still exist by 1900 ?

ModerateDemocrat in 1958: Lincoln killed ideas of racial justice for ever.

[Lambsbread]

1347:

Antonio V: I do believe I am quite frightened of this new "Black Death" spreading throughout Europe.

Kalwejt: Oh, don't worry dear friend, I'm far more susceptible to being affected by this disease, for I live in Poland.

Opebo: I saw the corpse of a person that seemed to have died of the plague...I poked it with a stick.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Opebo: I saw the corpse of a person that seemed to have died of the plague...I poked it with a stick.

Gustaf: You're a horrible person.

Opebo: What? He was just some poor prude and was already dead.

BRTD: Does anyone else thinks opebo's awesome?


New poll by BRTD: "Are you concerned about opebo's safety?"

Well, with all that black death.

Opebo: I left bad place already. Here, in Siam, only poor people are dying from diseases.

[Teddy (IDS Legislator)]

Atlasia, 1000BC

Bgwah: Join the Moses Party!

[Lambsbread]

7 B.C. in Bethlehem:

BushOK and Cathcon: ...W-where's Jesus?

Me: L-O-FREAKING-L

[The Mikado]

1010 BCE:

Mikado: I'm telling you, "King" Saul has his head up his ass.  We lose battle after battle against those Philistines and the only reason we ever win is that David.  Why don't we make him king?

Semocrat08:  David is soooo hunky!  I want to slather him down in oil and...

Ernest: I think you're going to have to get through about a dozen of David's wives for that.  Not to mention Prince Jonathan. 

BushOK: There is absolutely nothing going on between David and Prince Jonathan!  They are simply very, very, very close friends!

Mr. Morden: Breaking!  Saul consults the ghost of Samuel through the witch of Endor!  Breaking!

Joe Republic:  Saul doesn't even have the guts to go into battle without asking a ghost for help?  Pathetic.

jmfcst:  Saul has broken the laws of Moses.  Surely he shall be struck down by the Philistines.

BushOK:  Surely God wouldn't let his Chosen People die in combat against the uncircumcised Philistines just because their king is a deranged schizophrenic!

[afleitch]

BushOklahoma

1901: I got a fantastic new job selling Dr T Fakum's Gentleman's Brain Medicine
1929: I got a fantastic new job on Wall Street
1952: I got a fantastic new job as a door to door salesman
1977: I got a fantastic new job as part of a Pyramid Scheme
1989: I got a fantastic new job as a telemarketer
1998: I got a fantastic new job with one of those new dot coms

[Filuwaúrdjan]

1931

Al: Concentrates solely on Labour winning Liverpool Scotland

Oh, no. That would be silly. Perhaps attention would be focused on the good results for Labour in parts of Wales, or on the fact that Labour held the Spennymoor division in Durham.

[Joe Republic]

Alpha Quadrant, stardate 46738.92


Joe Republic:  Romulans (LINK) have attempted to trick the Enterprise-D into crossing the Neutral Zone (LINK), where two Romulan Warbirds were waiting to capture or destroy it. Captain Jean-Luc Picard (LINK), of the United Federation of Planets, foreseeing a possible trap, had quietly contacted the Klingons beforehand.  As a result, the Enterprise (LINK) was covertly accompanied into the Neutral Zone by three Klingon Birds-of-Prey. The Romulans, now evenly matched, decided that the price of the Enterprise's destruction was too high and retreated.  (Buy Viagra now, LINK)

{Yeah, 400 years from now Joe is still posting large sections of newscopy , without even bothering to clean it up or remove superfluous links.}

um what

I think you have me confused with someone else.

[King]

Alpha Quadrant, stardate 46738.92


Joe Republic:  Romulans (LINK) have attempted to trick the Enterprise-D into crossing the Neutral Zone (LINK), where two Romulan Warbirds were waiting to capture or destroy it. Captain Jean-Luc Picard (LINK), of the United Federation of Planets, foreseeing a possible trap, had quietly contacted the Klingons beforehand.  As a result, the Enterprise (LINK) was covertly accompanied into the Neutral Zone by three Klingon Birds-of-Prey. The Romulans, now evenly matched, decided that the price of the Enterprise's destruction was too high and retreated.  (Buy Viagra now, LINK)

{Yeah, 400 years from now Joe is still posting large sections of newscopy , without even bothering to clean it up or remove superfluous links.}

um what

I think you have me confused with someone else.

Given the length of all his examples, I think angus was demonstrating what it would be like if other posters were angus.

[King]

Upon further review, Mikado is winning this thread.  Mr. Modern in second, Kalwejt third.

[Mechaman]

7 B.C. in Bethlehem:

BushOK and Cathcon: ...W-where's Jesus?

Me: L-O-FREAKING-L

Mechaman: Who the hell is Jesus?

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

7 B.C. in Bethlehem:

BushOK and Cathcon: ...W-where's Jesus?

Me: L-O-FREAKING-L

Mechaman: Who the hell is Jesus?

Kalwejt: Jesus? Never heard of him. Some troll banned a long time ago?

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

33 AD

Judas reported Jesus to the moderator.

[King]

7 B.C. in Bethlehem:

BushOK and Cathcon: ...W-where's Jesus?

Me: L-O-FREAKING-L

Mechaman: Who the hell is Jesus?

Kalwejt: Jesus? Never heard of him. Some troll banned a long time ago?

Yes, biblical Kalwejt would extend the joke an unnecessary line of dialogue.

33 AD

Judas reported Jesus to the moderator.

Jesus would be a YouTube celeb who got his account disabled after a copyright claim by the Jewish people.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

40 AD

Hi,

Due to new laws, introduced by the Emperor, I decided to make so-called Christianity an infractable offense. Nym is appointed Centurion to enforce this rule.

Dave.

[Insula Dei]

1353 BC

Topic: Our new King

Lief: I went to the coronation today, (well to the festivities outside anyway) and I'm really believe young Amenhotep IV will make a difference. Too long have the priests of Amun dominated policy!

Jmfcst: Well, I'm glad you're happy Lief. But you can't deny that Amenhotep has attended school with the priests of Heliopolis! I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that, but everyone knows the boy hasn't been brought up in the propper way at the Temple of Karnak by the priests of Amun!
As it says in the holy texts: Amun-Ra is  "who hears the prayer, who comes at the cry of the poor and distressed...Beware of him! Repeat him to son and daughter, to great and small; relate him to generations of generations who have not yet come into being; relate him to fishes in the deep, to birds in heaven; repeat him to him who does not know him and to him who knows him...Though it may be that the servant is normal in doing wrong, yet the Lord is normal in being merciful. The Lord of Thebes does not spend an entire day angry. As for his anger - in the completion of a moment there is no remnant..As thy Ka endures! thou wilt be merciful!"

Jfern: I haven't got my hopes up too high. The Amun priests will continue to control civil life and our new king will be as much their puppet as our old king was. Mark my words!

[Lambsbread]

4.5 Billion B.C.

Dave: Hi, I've decided to create a planet and I am appointing The Mikado moderator.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

1594:

Thread: What is the last play you've seen?

Naso: Romeo and Juliet. Absolutely brilliant, William Shakespeare is clearly the best playwright ever.
Eraserhead: Seriously Naso? Do you seriously like anything besides that mainstream pop culture garbage? Anyway I saw *obscurish play which no one remembers today* by *acclaimed playwright of the time no one remembers today* and it was awesome.

If you can somehow read that in Early Modern English.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

7 B.C. in Bethlehem:

BushOK and Cathcon: ...W-where's Jesus?

Me: L-O-FREAKING-L

What?

Also, what's with all the anti-Jesus and anti-Cathcon stuff lately?

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

1585:

Thread: Queen Elizabeth, hot or not?

Roch: Go!

Mechaman: You kidding me, right? Now: Mary of Scotland is waaaaaaay hotter. In fact I'd hit it

Post deleted for pro-papist hyperbole, 9 of 10 infraction points

[King]

1594:

Thread: What is the last play you've seen?

Naso: Romeo and Juliet. Absolutely brilliant, William Shakespeare is clearly the best playwright ever.
Eraserhead: Seriously Naso? Do you seriously like anything besides that mainstream pop culture garbage? Anyway I saw *obscurish play which no one remembers today* by *acclaimed playwright of the time no one remembers today* and it was awesome.

If you can somehow read that in Early Modern English.

I think you might be confusing Eraserhead with yourself.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

late 16th/early 17th century-

ModerateDemocrat:  Shall the poor laws remain in three hundred years?

JCL: Queen Elizabeth tis no virgin. Nay, she may be a man.

jmfsct: If thou dost marry, I'll give thee this plague for thy dowry: be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as snow, thou shalt not escape calumny. Get thee to a nunnery, go: farewell

BushOK: On reports of plentiful gold, I embark for Roanoke.

CARLHAYDEN: Who are these invaders and marauders bringing plague? Protect America's borders!

[The Mikado]

1594:

Thread: What is the last play you've seen?

Naso: Romeo and Juliet. Absolutely brilliant, William Shakespeare is clearly the best playwright ever.
Eraserhead: Seriously Naso? Do you seriously like anything besides that mainstream pop culture garbage? Anyway I saw *obscurish play which no one remembers today* by *acclaimed playwright of the time no one remembers today* and it was awesome.

If you can somehow read that in Early Modern English.

Might as well join in on this:

Mikado:  Shakespeare has some technical talent, but is far too derivative to be called a "genius."  All the wonders he accomplishes with his sonnet?  Petrarch.  Shakespeare just capitalizes on an audience too illiterate to realize that he's just mostly adapting Petrarch to the rhythm of English.  Even against his contemporaries, Shakespeare wanes.  Have you ever laughed at a Shakespeare comedy?  Has anyone?  John Donne could make a person laugh so hard he wouldn't feel it if Donne was buggering him with a wooden splintered dildo.  Tragedy?  Has Shakespeare ever conjured up the drama of the late Marlowe's Taimburlaine the Great or the solemn mystery of his Faustus?  (And what is with our celebrities these days?  Marlowe left such a rotten impression on the kids, getting killed that way.  Dead in a barfight?)

Shakespeare has some raw talent, it cannot be denied, but a country boy from Somewhere-on-Somestream is certainly not the greatest talent on the English theatrical scene.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

16th Century hot guys thread: