The Michael A. Naso Institute of Comedy

[For Oklahoma]

Context:

You know what they say, America.  Once you go black, you never go back.

[oakvale]

My parents had maid services during my junior year in college.  It scared the hell out of me when I visited during Winter Break, mostly because I had no idea that my parents even had maid service.  I was in my room working up my motivation when this short Hispanic lady just burst into my room!
I almost had a heart attack at age 21.
She was freaked out too and went about cleaning other areas.  I managed to clean a few spots in my room (mostly just taking some water glasses downstairs and throwing my bedding sheets into the washing machine, throwing all of the clothes on my floor into a suitcase) and then gave them the go ahead and sped off to the nearest bar so I could get my heart rate back down to a non-life threatening level.

[Governor Scott]

No- but I do enjoy eating bush

[For Oklahoma]

No- but I do enjoy eating bush

Goddammit I was just gonna post this

[asexual trans victimologist]

This is less a hilarious post than a post about a hilarious fact but I still think it belongs here.

Oh yes, Connecticut for Lieberman was taken over by an anti-Lieberman faction. Should have remembered.

[So the Heroes Fall]

Yes, the chairman of the Connecticut for Lieberman Party has actually called for Lieberman to resign his Senate seat.

[a Person]

Maybe that should go here?

[Governor Scott]

Germany circa 1933

Obviously to aid the Christians (like Bonhoffer) who opposed Hitler. Also as a racial minority (Amerindian) even the Anglo/German side of me wouldn't protect me from losing God given civil liberties.

[A cowboy always follows his beard]

Hold on sec... Barack Obama sweeps the Deep South?  In 1924???

This reflects Coolidge's bad performance being weaker than Obama's bad performance. Obviously, if Obama was somehow nominated in 1924 he'd lose by comical margins there.

I can see it.

Southerner A : "So our choice for President is between this Yankee Republican and some negro who claims to have traveled back in time 84 years and calls himself a Democrat"
Southerner B : "Are you kidding me?"
Southerner A : "It's true"
Southerner B : "No way!"
Southerner A: "Yes. I guess we have to vote for the Yankee Republican"
Southerner B: "Damn it"
Southerner A: "I know, this is awful"
Southerner B: "I still can't believe it"
Southerner A: "I know, it's pretty absurd"
Southerner B: "I could believe the part of about time travel, but a negro Democrat running for President?"
Southerner A: "Yeah, that's ridiculous"

[For Oklahoma]

[ ] Barack Obama (D)
[ ] Mitt Romney (R)
[ ] W. Mitt Romney (I)
[ ] W. M. Romney (I)
[ ] Willard M. Romney (Socialist Labor)
[ ] Willard Mitt Romney (Constitution)
[ ] Mittens Romney (Silly Hats Party)
[ ] Gromit Romney (Libertarian)
[ ] Tree-Loving Romney (Green)
[ ] MITTBOT 2.0 (MICROSOFT VISTA)

[For Oklahoma]

Can I change my name at all?
And what username would you recommend me?

Pepto-Bismol

[Proud Lieberal from Northeast]

Wait, he was alive all this time?

Claude Lévi-Strauss syndrome.

Known to older people as Molotov syndrome.

His opposition to the Iraq War in 2002-2003 made some headlines, as did his appointment to the African Union's "Council of the Wise" but yeah other than that he basically hadn't done anything notable since he was overthrown in 1965.

[© Tweed the Younger]

b) broke down in tears of admiration at his own propaganda video.

Echoes of a certain London mayoral candidate there.

[oakvale]

hate to clue you in, but homosexuality ain't exactly the embracement of human reproduction.

Hate to clue you in, but 'embracement' isn't a real word

[Senator Napoleon]

Given how important Vice-Presidential picks always are, we need to consider some out-of-the-box possibilites. Is Pete Wilson still alive? If so, Romney should pick him and pick up California easily. If not, Romney can convert him to Mormonism regardless.

[Grumps]

I feel like Naso has ruined the concept of "cougar sex" for me, but congratulations if you're into that.

[King]

FLOWCHART

<Is the politician/partisan dead?> ───────no──────> [Incite partisan hackery.]
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           │                                                    │
          yes                                                   │
           │                                                    │
           ↓                                                    │
<Does the politician share your political beliefs?>  ─────no────┘
           │
           │
          yes
           │
           ↓
        [RIP  ]
         
         

[King]

http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/pdf/2011/PPP_Release_US_041912.pdf



Romney/Christie: 47%
Obama/Biden: 47%



Romney is on the rise as he consolidates Republican support.

Except you forgot the part where Obama leads Ronney 49-46.

[MilesC56]

http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/pdf/2011/PPP_Release_US_041912.pdf



Romney/Christie: 47%
Obama/Biden: 47%



Romney is on the rise as he consolidates Republican support.

Except you forgot the part where Obama leads Ronney 49-46.

I fixed the typo now.

[shua]

I am in a pickle. I'm attracted to this one girl, very much so, a grade below. She seems very friendly, but I'm fairly incompetent in reading her messages and gauging where she stands. Indeed we just sat next to each other and read a book together the other day, which I was just lost on- where does politeness end, and is it just a trap? I  can either become more overt or back out, and I'm leaning towards the latter- why bog yourself down before going to college. What do I do?

OK, kid - Inks is here to help.  First, quit talking about your pickle - if that's where your mind is going into this relationship, then you're screwed from the start (pun intended).

What grade are you in?  Is this like a junior-senior thing or freshman-sophomore?  Crap like that matters.  If you're heading to college in a couple months, then hey, get some free bananas with your cherry soda--you're Ron Paul!

Now - about reading her signs.  Sorry, kid, but reading a book with a female doesn't necessarily equal love that's meant to be.  If it did, then me and old lady Gladys at the library missed out on some true love about 15 years ago.

And you have to realize, most girls aren't in the game to be polite.  She must at least somewhat be interested in friendship or something.  If a girl is repulsed by you, you'll know it.  There's no such thing as politeness from Jr. High and High school girls.  Politeness is about as rare as an acne-free face in those cesspools of the young degenerate generation.

That being said, as Admiral Ackbar once taught us, if it smells like a duck, and tastes like a duck, it's probably a trap.

As for the college issue... how soon are you to attending such an institution of higher learning?  And you don't necessarily have to be bogged down... if both of you are just interested in some fun companionship before you leave, go for it - but make sure you both realize it's not gonna be a thing that lasts.  Getting into those types of relationships before you're ready leave you emotionally looking like Mason Verger, and the last thing you want is dogs chewing on your face.

So, take everything I said with a grain of salt, throw in some thyme and oregano, and you'll be breathing like an Italian Stallion by tomorrow.

[Communists For McCain]

Threads like this are what make this board the home of the most intelligent and knowledgeable posts on this forum.

[For Oklahoma]

Exemption from what?  Are you saying you had relations with the Older Woman?  If so, why would this require or involve an 'exemption'?

And why would we care?

And why are you informing of this two weeks later?

Its taken her that long to pop off from it.

[So the Heroes Fall]

The Apple never falls far from the tree.

Yes, in 2030, Bushie's Kenyan kids will be selling him Kenyaplan health insurance, and hatching plans to leave for a missionary trip to climate change-ravaged Bangladesh.

[Sibboleth]

Something along the general lines of

[8] - Nicolas Dupont-Aignan (Debout la République)
[2] - Eva Joly (Europe Écologie–Les Verts)
[1] - Jean-Luc Mélenchon (Front de gauche)
[9] - Marine Le Pen (Front National)
[6] - Nathalie Arthaud (Lutte Ouvrière)
[7] - François Bayrou (Mouvement démocrate)
[5] - Phillippe Poutou (Nouveau Parti anticapitaliste)
[3] - François Hollande (Parti socialiste)
[4] - Jacques Cheminade (c'est UFOs que j'aime)

• - Nicolas Sarkozy (Union pour un Mouvement Populaire)

[Senator Ben]

People in the northern parts of the United States tend to have an authoritarian streak.

Yes, we have a history of being real slavedrivers there.