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Author Topic: The Michael A. Naso Institute of Comedy  (Read 256121 times)
Scott
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« Reply #2200 on: October 03, 2012, 04:38:11 pm »
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Good.  The less idiots and hacks here, the better.  We know who goes next, right? Wink
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Gabriel CŠceres

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« Reply #2201 on: October 03, 2012, 05:27:52 pm »
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What in the merciful hell is wrong with this man?

I would say that maybe he was dropped on his head as a child, but given the context that seems rather crass...
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Quote from: someone on AAD
Option 3: he flipped his vote when he realized that the female preacher with the full sleeve tattoos who he fantasizes about domming him was a Sanders supporter Tongue  Hey, whatever gets him closer to those feet I guess.
When do you think it will all become clear?
Antonio V
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« Reply #2202 on: October 03, 2012, 07:02:24 pm »
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Wait, even better idea! Newt Gingrich will barge onto the stage just as the candidates are walking up, and he pushes Mitt away from the podium, quickly and loudly announcing himself as the true Republican candidate. He announces that he legally changed his name to "Willard Mitt Romney" in late June, and due to some arcane technicality in RNC bylaws he's actually been the GOP nominee all along. The debate is momentarily put on hold as reporters and fact-checkers verify the claims. He turns out to be correct; Mitt Romney sheds a single tear and walks away, rejected and disappointed, with a soft "gosh darnit" heard from his lips as he manages to maneuver himself through the entire audience while looking down at his feet the entire time.

The bewildered Obama loses the debate in a rout due to Newt's charisma and sheer masculine energy. The sound clip of the night is Obama confusingly stating, "well- yes, I suppose if- I guess that when you uh- put it that way, Mr. Gingrich, sir, I think I really am a Saul Alinksky radical." This unprecedented defeat leaves Obama trailing badly in the polls; Newt/"Romney"'s lead becomes further intensified after the VP debates where Biden accidentally says "And Newt, honest to God, he's even better than Ronald Reagan" in the middle of a response regarding Paul Ryan's entitlement reform ideas.

Unable to face the transformative and desicive leadership of the Future Leader of the Free World, Democrats nationwide succumb to Newt Energy: the GOP rides Newt's massive coattails to supermajority control of Congress, where they immediately amend the Constitution to make Gingrich president for life.

And thus began the greatest era of freedom and prosperity America (and the moon) will ever know.
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"Never before in all our history have these forces [of organized money] been so united against one candidate as they stand today. They are unanimous in their hate for meóand I welcome their hatred."

-- Franklin D. Roosevelt
What the heck does ○∙◄☻•tπ[╪AV┼cVÍ└ mean?
The Obamanation
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« Reply #2203 on: October 03, 2012, 07:30:02 pm »
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We can also watch evolution happen in the dark crevices of our refigerators.
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I know the culture of Hollywood leans liberal so I boycott most movies unless one of the actors has publicly come out as a pot-smoking libertarian.
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« Reply #2204 on: October 03, 2012, 10:13:07 pm »
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I'm double posting this because it both has a very funny part and a very brutal part.

Uh, JJ, you do realize that virtually every other pollster has shown Obama with a bigger lead in Ohio than PPP, right?

I have not trusted a mail poll since 1936.  Wink

I'm not crazy about those Uni polls for Ohio.  

J.J. I'm channelling The Professor here. Your assignment: Compare and contrast the polling methodology used by Literary Digest in 1936 vs. The Columbus Dispatch in the last several elections. Please reference the relative accuracy or inaccuracy of each poll relative to the final results.

Optional assignment: Quit hacking with grossly mismatched historical analogies.

Failing either will not help you get girls.
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Quote from: someone on AAD
Option 3: he flipped his vote when he realized that the female preacher with the full sleeve tattoos who he fantasizes about domming him was a Sanders supporter Tongue  Hey, whatever gets him closer to those feet I guess.
Bacon
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« Reply #2205 on: October 04, 2012, 11:53:58 am »
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If Romney ends up closing the gap and winning, this forum after election day is going to be wildly entertaining. Literally the only Romney supporters we have here are like a gay atheist lawyer who smokes pot, a couple of fifteen years olds, and a few trolls. Versus literally everyone else. An absolutely insane dynamic.
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BK without all the crazy drugs just wouldn't be BK.
AverroŽs
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« Reply #2206 on: October 04, 2012, 02:26:29 pm »
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Another great new poster joins the Atlas forum:

I think more and more Americans are finally coming to the realization that Obama is an empty suit.

He was elected with the least experience of any president since Chester Arthur, and has consistently proved his intellect is, lets be kind and say "below average".

His understanding of foreign affairs, basic history and of course economics is at the high school level at best.

I personnally know 100's of people with more qualifications to be president than Obama had.

Now that the luster of "yeah but he's charismatic" is wearing off, perhaps the rock star menality that sways so many of his core constituency will keep them home this year, and we can get back to adults running the country.
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Oakvale
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« Reply #2207 on: October 04, 2012, 02:49:13 pm »
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Another great new poster joins the Atlas forum:

I think more and more Americans are finally coming to the realization that Obama is an empty suit.

He was elected with the least experience of any president since Chester Arthur, and has consistently proved his intellect is, lets be kind and say "below average".

His understanding of foreign affairs, basic history and of course economics is at the high school level at best.

I personnally know 100's of people with more qualifications to be president than Obama had.

Now that the luster of "yeah but he's charismatic" is wearing off, perhaps the rock star menality that sways so many of his core constituency will keep them home this year, and we can get back to adults running the country.

Careful, don't mock him - he knows "100's" of United States Senators. Sad
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Insula Dei
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« Reply #2208 on: October 04, 2012, 04:57:38 pm »
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Suck my balls, National Election Pool Consortium !!!

Somehow even better with any reference to the context edited out.
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R2D2
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« Reply #2209 on: October 04, 2012, 05:13:34 pm »
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I know I speak for everyone when I say you will truly be missed. Your silly antics made the forum a brighter and better place. Keep on chasing rainbows, guys. We will remember you.


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R2D2
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« Reply #2210 on: October 04, 2012, 05:56:47 pm »
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So Al Gore finally came out of his rock.

you're missing a 'from under' somewhere in there.
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AverroŽs
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« Reply #2211 on: October 04, 2012, 06:27:35 pm »
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Quote from: A broken clock
See, I told you all it was six o'clock.
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Smid
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« Reply #2212 on: October 04, 2012, 06:40:20 pm »
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only 538 people


This is a perfectly adequate sample size, if the people polled are members of the Electoral College.
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True Federalist
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« Reply #2213 on: October 05, 2012, 03:29:04 pm »
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That's right, blame the moderator...

Well, that typically is what this forum does. Grin
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Quote from: Ignatius of Antioch
He that possesses the word of Jesus, is truly able to bear his very silence. ó Epistle to the Ephesians 3:21a
The one thing everyone can agree on is that the media is biased against them.
June 14th Democratic Primary Ballot
U.S. House 2: Arik Bjorn
Richland Sheriff: Leon Lott
minionofmidas - supplemental forum account
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« Reply #2214 on: October 05, 2012, 03:49:15 pm »
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I too tend to dismiss science and most math as witchcraft and voodoo, but that's for reasons entirely apolitical and irreligious.

I found that funny.
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If I'm shown as having been active here recently it's either because I've been using the gallery, because I've been using the search engine looking up something from way back, or because I've been reading the most excellent UK by-elections thread again.
Alan Beresford B'stard, MP
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« Reply #2215 on: October 05, 2012, 04:17:47 pm »
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Context:

I am not an Orc. I'm nothing you've heard. I'm you.
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Snowstalker's Last Stand
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« Reply #2216 on: October 05, 2012, 05:22:19 pm »
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Oh, wow. They even manage to tie in unrelated political comments that she made on DailyKos almost eight years ago!

Take note of that, you youngins amassing thousands of posts here that want to run for office someday. I assure you, unless you're as secretive about your identity as, like, Mikado, your opponents will probably connect it to you. (And you can't just delete it either because caches are totally a thing!)

The people here will be saved when Dave finally pulls the plug on the forum to save server money for the rest of the site one day (no one's going to go through archive.org and navigating through dozens of missing pages to try to find a quote they don't even know exists).

Yeah, I think President Snowstalker or whoever will catch a break when Dave decides to get rid of the old shame that is the forum part of the Atlas in 2017, removing all the pony posts from the internet forever.

Facebook's another story, though.
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« Reply #2217 on: October 06, 2012, 11:52:21 am »
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LOL, funny how this goes over Torie's head.

To be fair, The Big Bang Theory is awful.

Really?  Why do you think that?  It seems to be the leading theory these days, with substantial evidence backing it up. I just got a refresher course went I went to watch a program at the Griffith Park Planetarium in LA a few months ago.
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Quote from: someone on AAD
Option 3: he flipped his vote when he realized that the female preacher with the full sleeve tattoos who he fantasizes about domming him was a Sanders supporter Tongue  Hey, whatever gets him closer to those feet I guess.
後援会
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« Reply #2218 on: October 06, 2012, 08:26:02 pm »
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Mitt Romney is not a governor. He is an ex-governor. The governor of Massachusetts is Deval Patrick.

In America, ex-politicians are generally called by their most recent office held as a matter of courtesy, which is why (for instance) Bill Clinton is still introduced as President Clinton and Mitt Romney is still Governor Romney.

I've always thought it's a pretty ridiculous custom. You don't see the BBC calling Tony Blair the Prime Minister, for example.

Thankfully the UK doesn't have ridiculous titles given for life.
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The opinions and views expressed above are mine alone and do not represent the opinions or views of any other individual, organization, or government.
Grumps
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« Reply #2219 on: October 07, 2012, 04:25:32 pm »
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Reminds me of that one city entrance sign in Frankfurt that's been amusing me for years despite the crass lowbrowness of the statement.

[official print]Frankfurt am Main[/official print]
[vandalism]Wir Ficken Jeden[/vandalism]
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« Reply #2220 on: October 08, 2012, 12:34:55 pm »
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Reminds me of that one city entrance sign in Frankfurt that's been amusing me for years despite the crass lowbrowness of the statement.

[official print]Frankfurt am Main[/official print]
[vandalism]Wir Ficken Jeden[/vandalism]

I used Google translate on this (to find out what "Jeden" meant, "Wir Ficken" was obvious) and as I was checking on the translatio options for each word, noted that an alternative possible translation for Frankfurt was London.
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Quote from: Ignatius of Antioch
He that possesses the word of Jesus, is truly able to bear his very silence. ó Epistle to the Ephesians 3:21a
The one thing everyone can agree on is that the media is biased against them.
June 14th Democratic Primary Ballot
U.S. House 2: Arik Bjorn
Richland Sheriff: Leon Lott
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« Reply #2221 on: October 08, 2012, 05:19:21 pm »
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A good reason for anyone to vote against him is the fact that he's a war criminal, although I understand that your unique and special morality may cause you to view such things from a somewhat different angle.
It is, alas, not nearly as unique as it is special.

Together these amused me a lot, though they're not really 'comedy'.. they're almost a very mild zinger against the awful Dead0man, but not quite.  So, I put them here.
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The essence of democracy at its purest is a lynch mob

Lief 🐋
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« Reply #2222 on: October 11, 2012, 04:39:09 pm »
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Hate to be all Youtube comments section, but it looks like 8 people need to have electricity 'applied' to their genitals.

Shock therapy, amirite?
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whyCarly?
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« Reply #2223 on: October 12, 2012, 08:58:43 am »
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Context:

For all their belief in the supremacy of the market, these Objectivists are ignoring it surprisingly well.
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Oakvale
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« Reply #2224 on: October 12, 2012, 09:48:09 am »
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So if I give a lot of money to charity and a little to The Party might I get a knighthood?
Yes.
Quote
If a give a boatload to charity and a lot to The Party might I get a life peerage?
That is, in fact, the only way.
Quote
And, if I give an astronomical sum to charity and a boatload to the party, maybe, just maybe, might I secure a hereditary peerage?
No. That's right out.

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