The Michael A. Naso Institute of Comedy

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

"people who take jobs away from us"

Like Bain Capital under Mitt?

European-style class warfare does not work in America.

I bet his record and image will really help him in these states.

@Mitt Romney: THE TOP TAX RATE THEN WAS 90% AHBEIREHILAALAGALBAREAGANRAISEDTAXES12TIMESAGLABLABGRARGALABRARG

The last time a presidential candidate tried making class warfare their central plank, the result was this:

Ah, I remember Comrade Mondale's speech at the 1984 DNC.

"Down with the demons of capitalism-fascism! The proletariat and the downtrodden must slice the head off the dragon-fascist Reagan! Long live the global Soviet Union!"

Sorry for the self-insert.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

how I've missed angus

Can someone translate what Hunstman just said?

Just like he said after it was "he doesn't understand the situation." However when I initially heard it I thought he butchered the last word (said something like "qingsheng" instead of qingkuang 情况） so someone gimme a link so I can hear it again.

Huntsman said "qingxing," which is the way you say 情况 in the south (Guangdong and Hong Kong, and maybe some in Taiwan use this term too).  Since Huntsman learned how to speak Chinese in Taiwan, it's not surprising he prefers southern vocabulary.  He said the sentence just right.

I was only in China twice, and the last time was two years ago, so my mandarin's a little rusty, but I thought he said, "You're a goddamned liar, Mitt.  I heard you order the spring roll platter and now that the waiter has brought it, you're claiming that you ordered the Mao Po Dou Fu." 

Anyway, I can't believe that none of youse are gonna bug the chinaman about this, seeing as how we have been doing his homework for the past five years.  I'm assuming his English is better than the guy's who writes the tests he has to take. 

More importantly, I found out that the slow-talking woman's name is Dianne Sawyer. 
 

[King]

If anyone is watching this, Romney is getting hit by just about everyone.

perhaps they held off last night with the plan of ganging up on him today, knowing he'd be the only one on stage without the benefit of caffeine.

[Lief 🗽]

^^^legendary post right there.

[Keystone Phil]

BushOK doesn't need math...

Wow, mine add up to exactly 100% and I didn't even try to do that.

Boss.

[Simfan34]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=146325.0

Damn, you beat me on it !

It's getting better and better.

Syria's on Tuesday!

[Joe Republic]

Comments sections are virtually always depressing because people are horrible retards and the planet is doomed.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

lulz

Only Bushie can use "vote for the person" reasoning and come up with Mitt Romney as the best choice.

That'd be more appropriate for a hypothetical "brutal truth" mine.

[Хahar 🤔]

If Joe wants to have 2 girlfriends, well, that's fine legally.

And if Joe gets his 2 girlfriends pregnant, that's also fine legally.

Now, if 2 different women are pregnant with Joe's children, maybe it'd make sense for them to move in together.

If Joe lives with his 2 girlfriends, and his 2 children by 2 different women, that would also be fine legally.

I endorse this scenario.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Anybody know how many posters still have to report?

Apparently people are claiming that some posters have been thrown in the Mississippi.

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

My mom was running a bath for me, and there was some hubbub on the news in the other room.  I asked her what it was, and she told me that President Bush had lost an election to a man named Clinton.  I asked her if this was good or bad, and she just shrugged and carried on running the bath.  That shaped a lot of my political outlook right there.

[King]

Obama receives only 82% of the vote in the New Hampshire primary!!!111

Not a sign of strength for Obama; it is not a sign of disaster, either.  If you look at the two of those within range, Clinton and Bush II, you are looking at 49% and 51% of the vote.  Obama is a candidate that is weakening, as compared to 2008.  Weakening is not the same as losing.

Romney showed a great deal of strength here, not only winning, doing it with a fairly large margin, easily above 15 points and a with a better turnout than 2008.

[Linus Van Pelt]

(scenario under which Romney could lose)

3) In the next debate, Gingrich or Santorum turns to Romney and says "I always lie". Romney crashes and smoke comes out of his ears. His aides frantically reboot him, but his memory has been wiped clean. Not knowing who he is or what he's doing, Romney is forced to end his campaign for the Presidency. Perry, baffled by the sentence, drops out in confusion.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Denial.

I've gone through all of them quickly:

Denial was seeing the first returns.
Anger was "Why aren't they voting for him!?!"
Bargaining was "I'll accept my own misfortune if he can win. Second? How about second!?"
Depression was overnight
Acceptance- I'm getting there

[Joe Republic]

I never swear in public, but when it's just me and my cat, and I'm angry, my cat has to run and hide and cover his ears.  I'm trying to turn d***it into more doggonit's.  When I'm in public I use words that my paternal grandmother would use, if she were alive, such as "shucks" and "fiddle-sticks".  I also use the phrase "Geminee Christmas" quite a bit.  Whenever I go into a rage at home, usually over trivial stuff, I can make a Navy sailor look holy.  I'm trying to stop that and I always end up being brought to my knees and asking forgiveness from my God for my dirty mouth.

I hate cussing, personally, because with the same mouth I use to sing praises to God or talk about Him, I also talk like the world.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

No one in his campaign realized that this was a poor picture for a campaign website?

Well, to Gingrich's credit, he actually knows what Auschwitz was. I don't think we can say the same for Rick Perry for example.

"Here we are at a major car manufacturer in Poland.  Years ago people were driving Auschwitz cars everywhere, but thanks to the socialist, Marxist, European pro-tax agenda of the government, this factory was shut down and hundreds of workers lost their jobs.  If Obama has his way, the same thing could happen to Ford, or GM, or... uh..... some other company.  Oops."

[Paul Kemp]

I never swear in public, but when it's just me and my cat, and I'm angry, my cat has to run and hide and cover his ears.  I'm trying to turn d***it into more doggonit's.  When I'm in public I use words that my paternal grandmother would use, if she were alive, such as "shucks" and "fiddle-sticks".  I also use the phrase "Geminee Christmas" quite a bit.  Whenever I go into a rage at home, usually over trivial stuff, I can make a Navy sailor look holy.  I'm trying to stop that and I always end up being brought to my knees and asking forgiveness from my God for my dirty mouth.

I hate cussing, personally, because with the same mouth I use to sing praises to God or talk about Him, I also talk like the world.

A new classic!

[Joe Republic]

Al, what do you think about Tim Tebow? Should Denver stick with him next year, or should they get a different quarterback?

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Choke on glass, mother f**ker.

Delete.

Go Mohamed Bouazizi yourself.

What's with the hostile comments?

Context

[Ebowed]

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?

Because it isn't called a teethbrush.

[Lambsbread]

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?

Because it isn't called a teethbrush.

lololololol

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Al, what do you think about Tim Tebow? Should Denver stick with him next year, or should they get a different quarterback?

Guess which one they picked, Joe?

[Joe Republic]

I have no idea about Tim Tebow, whoever he is.  The funny part was who it was addressed to.

[Lief 🗽]

…yet Thurston is the only dude smart enough to have money and get pussy. 

Well, perhaps, but that means that the only p. being gotten was Mrs. Howell.  She wasn't so bad, but after all its hardly as if Thurston were really enjoying life and at the same time the two young cutie-pies were totally going to waste.  What the Island needed was prostitution.

emphasis mine

[Хahar 🤔]

I have no idea about Tim Tebow, whoever he is.  The funny part was who it was addressed to.

I think it would be fun to hear Al's thoughts about the NFL.

He was in a relationship with someone he delivered? That's kind of gross.

Karen Santorum = Ron Swanson