The Michael A. Naso Institute of Comedy

[shua]

In return- I will listen to you. I don't shy away from criticism or debate. I have opponents in this campaign- all of whom I respect. I hope this will be a campaign about ideas and about leadership. Likewise- I respect the man I hope to be my predecessor- President Polnut. However... now is the time for leadership. People say the Fantasy board is dying...when I am President let's see if that is the case. You may not agree with me but I am sure you will LOVE to disagree with me- make me the Reagan to your Tip O'Neill as I've tried to be the Gingrich to Polnut's Clinton. The best government is a government where people of differnt ideologies have to come to the table and negotiate their differences-

an inversion of this lets us in on how banal and platitudinous it is.

I won't listen to you.  I will shy away from criticism and debate.  I do not respect, nor to I accept the legitimacy, of my opponents in this race.  I hope this will be a campaign centered on personalities rather than issues.  I do not respect the President, and think he has failed miserably and should resign.  Now is the time for appeasement and a more general chamelonism.  People claim that the Fantasy board is dying, it is, and this trend is irreversible, regardless of my success or failure in this election.  we are doomed and can only hope to go gracefully.  You may not agree with me, but you must act like you do, lest you be repressed and your opinions censored.  obey and do not think.  The best government is a government which I run and is entirely structured to cater to my whims and desires.

[Wrecking Ball and Chain]

firefighters - 46%
fire insurance salesmen - 42%
fire alarm maintenance technicians - 56%
people who've recently been fired - 49%
people whose homes have a fireplace - 41%
people with stereotypically flaming mannerisms - 77%
pyromaniacs - 23% (many will write in Ron Paul)

[Lіef]

I keep my account password in the safety deposit box with strict instructions for its disposition stipulated in my Last-Will-and-Testament.  However I need to know - is the account subject to primogeniture or may I leave it to any of my offspring, pets, or the United Negro College Fund?

[Simfan34]

Congrats, Clarence.  You've reached 2005.  You're catching up.

[Governor Scott]

Going to hell for this.

I can't imagine why FDR would be thinking of people with two good legs.

[True Federalist]

Going to hell for this.

I can't imagine why FDR would be thinking of people with two good legs.

It was a bit dry, but I'm glad you liked it.

[MilesC56]

(1) What is your ideological affiliation? What is your partisan affiliation (if any)?

Conservative voter, Thatcherite inclined.

(2) What TV, print and non-print media do you get your news from?

BBC News, Daily Mail and The Guardian. Political Betting and Polling Report.
If I'm looking for news on US politics, then usually the New York Times, the Washington Post and CNN; British news sources on American politics are dreadful.

(3) What is your religious affiliation and how often do you attend services?

Agnostic, I haven't been to Church in at least two years.

(4) Do you own a gun?

Only a toy plastic gun.

[Inks.LWC Supports Chuck Hagel]

Fant-asy-land.

[© Tweed the Younger]

Awesome.  Now you'll have more time for moderating. 

[dialectical fetishist]

Wait! We can't stop here! It's Naso County!

[Keystone Phil]

Wait! We can't stop here! It's Naso County!

So appropriate that this is the submission that got us to one hundred pages!

[dialectical fetishist]

Wait! We can't stop here! It's Naso County!

So appropriate that this is the submission that got us to one hundred pages!

I felt we needed to break the 100 mark with a bang!

[Senator Napoleon]

Aaaand banned for impersonating Cincinnatus.

I shall return.

[Ѕenator Αverroës]

What does biden mean?  I think it's just a misspelling of "bidin'".  Like, "How've you been bidin' your time?"

[Beet]

Oddly enough your writing is not the most painful thing on this page...

Incidentally, if you are capable of adopting such a ludicrous affected style, then you are also capable of learning how to write properly...

That's "ludicrous affected style" to you? Goodness gracious. Excuse me.

dawg, u call that talkin white? dafuq r u smokin booiiii? dont go tellin me how to rite rite. I go talk 2 tweed in da way I wanna talk 2 tweed got that?

but when u have the 4c's rich homebois, the young money, but the bois spitting rimes dont get much money. you have mark zukerbuerg and all that kind of s--t. they got all the jobs. they are all the jobs. when life works like that u dont need the homboys, screw hoffa or labor or the congress- they ain't what's needed and they become broke mofos. back in the ldic days they wuld be livininthe burbs, in the hood and then in the projects, now they got no job and they cant learn cloud computin or whatever the latest s--t is.

[Formerly Californian Tony]

Oddly enough your writing is not the most painful thing on this page...

Incidentally, if you are capable of adopting such a ludicrous affected style, then you are also capable of learning how to write properly...

That's "ludicrous affected style" to you? Goodness gracious. Excuse me.

dawg, u call that talkin white? dafuq r u smokin booiiii? dont go tellin me how to rite rite. I go talk 2 tweed in da way I wanna talk 2 tweed got that?

but when u have the 4c's rich homebois, the young money, but the bois spitting rimes dont get much money. you have mark zukerbuerg and all that kind of s--t. they got all the jobs. they are all the jobs. when life works like that u dont need the homboys, screw hoffa or labor or the congress- they ain't what's needed and they become broke mofos. back in the ldic days they wuld be livininthe burbs, in the hood and then in the projects, now they got no job and they cant learn cloud computin or whatever the latest s--t is.

You just beat me on this one.

[Oakvale]

You guys really found that funny? Okay.

[Simfan34]

You guys really found that funny? Okay.

I'm glad they did. Part of the idea was to have a poor imitation of writing poorly.

[Joe Republic]

But seriously, my writing style seems to be offending people. Really, what am I to do then??

You could start by watching all 5 seasons of The Wire. This will not help you, but it's a great show.

[Joe Republic]

OFFICIAL BLACK MORMON VOTEWATCH 2012

Gladys Knight: Obama
Hipster that Joe Republic Knows: Obama
Thurl Bailey: given he did that prayer thing at the 2008 RNC probably Romney
The black Mormon lady running as a Republican against Matheson: certainly Romney
Yeah Samake: Himself (if/when Traoré allows the election to occur)
Alex Boyé: unknown; it will be his first election as a U.S. citizen though

RESULTS: TOO CLOSE TO CALL

ANALYSIS SUGGESTS THAT BLACK MORMONS ARE A KEY SWING DEMOGRAPHIC THIS YEAR

[Vasall des Midas]

Brilliance.

[Grumps]

King- my bed is one of the few things I splurge on...I think I made a topic about that a while back. If you spend 1/3 of your life in bed- might as well make it as comfy as possible...another third I spend on my La-Z-Boy so I splurged on a new one when I moved

If you splurge on your La-Z-Boy I suggest putting down a towel beforehand.

[Bacon King]

Yes, actually I have.

But did you tell them about the Update thread?  Have you considering printing it all out, and making a bound copy to give to them for Christmas?

[Pacific Councillor Big Wiggly Style]

First rule: you don't talk about mormonism
second rule: see first rule
except infraction points in this thread

[Oakvale]

Hello Hagrid

nice to meet you

some posters here r crazy becuase I am an independent Democrat who supports Rmney for President.
I have  a own election group with a weekly electoral map @ facebook!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/185054414852195/
with a weekly electoral map of mine-very accurate
for the mid-terms in 2010 I had had only 1 State wrong- WA

I think the numbers for OH and Fl r probably very near  to the truth PA is way off. imo

I would ask why your Facebook page has this album full of bizarre pictures of Hillary Clinton, but I suspect that question answers itself.