The Michael A. Naso Institute of Comedy

[Antonio the Sixth]

Winfield is bumping a bunch of threads where people say, "Congrats, Phil!" to simply respond, "The Winfield legacy lives on."

What does that even mean?

[Antonio the Sixth]

The following post belonged in the Comedy Goldmine:

This thread belongs in the Comedy Goldmine.

Your love life belongs in the Comedy Goldmine

This guy is a genius.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Is it fair to call this bigblackdickgate yet?

[Antonio the Sixth]

I'm surprised nobody has put it there yet :

Gather around children because I am about to tell you the tragic tale of how the Atlas Forum Mods came to be.


Once upon a time there was a young boy at the tender age of fourteen
He was madly in love with this girl who had a penchant for caffeine

For months he agonized how to profess his undying love
Suddenly it came to him in the form of a dove

He put a note in this girls locker to meet him at three
Behind the tool-shed right near the old willow tree

At a quarter past three she finally came
It was time to tell her everything without any shame

"Why have you called me here" she said with a stammer
The young boy was in shock, like he'd been hit with a hammer

"For as long as I've known you, I have watched you from afar
Your eyes remind me of the biblical North Star"

They both stood in silence as he awaited her reply
At last she spoke but with a great big sigh

"I'll never date you because you are creepy"
These words hit home and made him very weepy

She continued on into something of a rant
It was very clear she would not recant

"You sit in class and draw gerrymanders for Vermont
I want to date someone who buys me a croissant"

The boy was crushed and his sadness turned to rage
He had enough of society in this day and age

"If you won't love me, then my affection I will retract
And instead I have no choice but to infract!"

A bloodcurdling scream filled the air
She was dead and frankly, he did not care

"You have done well" a voice said from behind
"It is better to be cold and very much unkind"

"My name is Dave Leip and I must say I like to oppress"
Join me and you can take out your frustrations in any way you wish to express"

And that is how the Atlas Forum Mod came to be
It is a very sad tale, as you can plainly see

[Antonio the Sixth]

If you're a European Leftist reading this, I know this will offend some of you. So let me be clear:

I'm a Chauvinist. I believe in American Exceptionalism. On this, We are Better than You. At least so far.

OK...

[Antonio the Sixth]

King's sig is awesome.

[Antonio the Sixth]

This is extremely dark humour, but if you look at the post just above this one it sounds... weird.

Good riddance.

As far as I'm concerned, Rest In Peace.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Moving in the right direction, much to the consternation of reality-deniers.

[Antonio the Sixth]

I didn't mean to add Gingrich.  Oops.

Your fingers slipped, and accidentally typed "Newt Gingrich"?

Not too uncommon.  Hit your keyboard randomly a few times and see for yourself...

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[Antonio the Sixth]

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[Antonio the Sixth]

I'm almost certainly smarter than you and my SAT was higher than Lief's.

[Antonio the Sixth]

If you are picking your college based off of something you heard in a commercial, then the chances of any amount of education helping you, legitimate or otherwise, are slim.

[Antonio the Sixth]

US is hilarious, but Canada wins the prize of YouFailPoliticsForever.

US: Dr. Ron Paul (R-TX/PA) GOP House, Senate, and majority of governorships
Canada: Conservatve/Libertarian Colition
UK: Tories

[Antonio the Sixth]

I think "mindless moron" is a prohibted ethic slur for Anglo-American.

[Antonio the Sixth]

He dared to ask this to Al !?!?

[Antonio the Sixth]

He dared to ask this to Al !?!?

It's great because it had to have made Mr. Know It All's head explode. Classic comment!

Your feud with Al is as epic as the Murkowski-Palin feud.

Please don't ever label me as "Murkowski" again.

I guess you weren't supposed to be Murkowski...

[Antonio the Sixth]

Yes no talking in the institute unless you are Naso.

Has he ever showed up in this thread other than in quotes ?

[Antonio the Sixth]

There are certain things that Mike Naso is the only person on Earth who will say them.

Funny but true.

[Antonio the Sixth]

There are certain things that Mike Naso is the only person on Earth who will say them.

Funny but true.

What I found funny was more that BRTD of all people would say that - it is equally true of him.

Now that I think about it, you're entirely right. Several people here, like Naso and BRTD, are true characters.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Was that thread deleted ? I can't access it.

[Antonio the Sixth]

GUYS, BEST POST IN THE HISTORY OF THE FORUM WAS JUST POSTED, GET IT WHILE ITS HOT:

J.J., I wanted to congratulate you on your assignment "A Typical Day In My Life". I think you did a superb job with it. So good that I think I'll share it with everyone else.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Wild unicorns ran through the woods, farting diamonds and childrens' toys whenever candy rained from the skies. Massive street orgies were held on alternating Tuesdays, of course ending with everyone joining their hands in a circle while rolling a chocolate-scented blunt with their toes. Lollipop trees and gumdrop fruits were in every garden, and on a good day a hunter could catch a dozen gummy bears with Swedish Fish bait. The White House was made of white chocolate, only replaced by concrete and marble for protection.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Back in theme... Some fun about the German voting system :

The absurdity of an electoral system in action:

- The constituency of Lichtenberg 1 has been wrongly called for the SPD. Instead, it is won by the candidate of the Left Party: http://www.tagesspiegel.de/berlin/spd-verliert-direktmandat/4628022.html

- That means that one person less is elected on the Left list, because of the extra direct seat. That's bad news for some guy on the Left party list, but a zero sum game for the party so far.
But now it is getting funny:

- As a result of loosing Lichtenberg 1, the SPD district list in Lichtenberg no longer has an overhang.

- So the SPD looses that overhang mandate.

- As a result of that, two compensatory seats (in contrast to Bundestag elections, overhang seats in Berlin are balanced by compensatory seats for the not overhanging lists to ensure exact proportional representation) fall away: One for the Greens, and one for the Left (!).

- So the new Berlin parliament is shrinking from 152 to 149 seats: One less each for SPD (overhang mandate), Greens and Left (compensatory seats).

- So the bottom line is: By winning Lichtenberg 1, the Left has a net loss of one seat.

---

And if you don't understand that, it is not because of the flaws of the Berlin electoral system or my English writing skills, but is entirely your fault

[Antonio the Sixth]

Back in theme...

Wrong.

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Stop.

If you read it you'd understand what's funny.

[Antonio the Sixth]

For the record, the post is about the fact a party won a constituency seat in a recount, but due to the compensatory list vote this actually made the party lose a seat.