The Michael A. Naso Institute of Comedy

[Oakvale]

In which CJK eviscerates Obama's 9/11 memorial speech with dazzling wit and skill.

From Obama’s 9/11 speech

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Actually, it all happened in broad daylight.

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If they were so mighty, why did they crumble?

[Oakvale]

You do realize that most male humans do masturbate, and that looking at a pretty picture or an interesting fillum can aid in this healthful and necessary practice?

Yes, I understand that this is the case.

But not your good self, eh?  Is that difficult?

I'm actually a computer programme designed to test out the reception of sarcasm on the internet, so it's technically impossible.

The whole thread is hilarious, actually.

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Wonkish if it wasn't for Jesus Christ you'd be getting a sh!tload of a lot more posts modded since that's the reason I'm not combing through your posts looking for ones to report like I used to do before I was filled with the Holy Spirit. Quit whining.

[Oakvale]

Pretty much all of BRTD's 'Christian' posts could be archived directly here, but it's hard to pick specific examples.

Although its humour largely depends on whether you think he's being genuine or not. If you think he is, most of it is tragicomic. If you think he's trolling, then it's horribly annoying.

Paul could win easily if he won Iowa and then exploited the weakening of Romney to win New Hampshire too... he'd basically be guaranteed the nomination from sheer momentum and no serious opposition.

Jesus, even by Paultard standards that's... amazing.

[Oakvale]

Politico (the hack poster, that is, not the website) on Mitt Romney -

Handsome, strong and faithful: He's the ideal man from the biological/psychological perspective of many females.

[Oakvale]

Xahar translating one of t_host1's posts is impressive -

This feels like trying to decipher Finnegans Wake.

  Don't bet on that, keep in mind that the Obama regime has discharged working white's as being of any support for him, making the dependent workless people wanting, so to vote for him, Obama.

Don't bet on that. Keep in mind that the Obama regime has concluded that working whites will not support them. Thus, Obama is attempting to keep the jobless in their state of dependence, so that they vote for him.

Obama will campaign the Newt position - that poor work habits are rampant and a destructive societal fact - as being the usual GOP heartlessness, when, the conversation finally matures it will be realized that it was a Gingrich, George Patton soldier - get off your ass - moment.

In his campaign, Obama will portray Newt's position (that poor work ethic is rampant in our society today and destructive to society) as being just as heartless as the GOP usually is. However, history will portray Gingrich in the same way as George Patton; both will be considered men who motivated others to get off their asses.

as for as a Clinton / Gingrich comparison - recapturing the house, fit these points in - Clinton said he will have a administration that looks like America. Gingrich, just made the point, it will be Americans working together that will be the look.

Comparisons have been made between 2012 and 1996, given that both times an incumbent Democrat was running for reelection after his party lost the House of Representatives two years before. Back then, Bill Clinton said that his government would reflect the composition of the American population. Newt Gingrich does not concern himself with such things; for him, what is important is that Americans work together.

That is, it appears he wants to have a election that will be of a coalition - house & senate - with an already established policies/platform presented in Jay-Madison-Hamilton format...
 ...it's how it could be, if, their were a press that would understand the conversation/argument and accepted the forwarded info. It would not fit the/their democrat progressive party political affiliation position.

Gingrich does not just want to win the presidency. He intends to see a united and coherent Republican Party elected at the same time to control the House and the Senate. The party should have clear, public policies presented in a platform structured similarly to The Federalist. This would be possible if the media were to simply accept whatever the government might tell them. Unfortunately, because the media is composed of progressives who are affiliated with the Democratic Party, it is unlikely that they would blindly accept whatever Republicans tell them.

[Oakvale]

I'm actually in the process of writing him a personal letter right now XD...

Ron Paul walks the walk. He does not come across as "flashy" or charismatic. He is not a great debater. But he does come off like a grandfather figure. He comes across like a Church deacon who always says the right thing at the right time. He does not encourage violence, but challenges the establishment openly and loudly.

In a way, we could ask "what was Martin Luther Kings appeal", or "what was Barack Obamas appeal?". They gave people hope. Paul gives me hope. In 2007, when I was 11, my Grandma took me to see Rudy Giuliani. I shook his hand yada yada, but he never inspired me. I just believed that all Arabs were terrorist, and that Bush was good, and Clinton was a Communist, etc. Then my Grandpa passed away. My Grandpa lived in North Carolina, and I never was close as I should of been with him, so I got a hard (yet, not overly depressing) lesson in life and death. Soon I realized that this is just a fraction of what a mother who finds our her son died in Iraq feels. I started to become anti war, and by the time I joined here, I was pretty much a complete Paultard.

Paul's appeal is that he really isn't appealing. If he believed in what Rudy, Mitt, and McCain believed in, he would just be another Duncan Hunter. But he is not. He sticks out, and he does not abuse religion (which makes me love him more, being "born again" since Spring) for gain, he does not make fiery speeches, he simply spreads a good, Christian, peacefull message.

That's why he appeals to me.

Clearly the Paul campaign's youth brainwashing program has been successful. Yikes.

[Oakvale]

If you have ever been accosted by a committed Ron Paul supporter, you know how unbelievably thick-headed they can be.

EDIT: And, from the gay marriage thread, all of which could be entered in either here or the Deluge -

The government can define "marriage" however it wants to, but this is how I define "real biological and technical marriage" which is "vaginal intercourse that produces a biological child and determines the roles and responsibilities of the 2 biological parents in providing for that child."

Apparently I'm one broken condom and court order away from accidental marriage

[Oakvale]

Couldn't decide if this belongs here or in the Deluge. Probably both.

In which Naso, amongst other things, compares the black experience in America to being ginger:

Or they just remain silent because they don't feel like getting into an argument with a racist a-hole who blames all of his problems on OBAMA.  I'm not suggesting that all people who are against Obama are racists, but you can always pick out the not so subtle racists by that certain inflection in their pronunciation of Obama.  I'm in NY and still bump into these people rather frequently. I'd imagine it is much worse in other areas.

Sadly, I agree.

I voted for Ken Blackwell for Governor of Ohio in 2006. He never stood a chance, but his race was a factor. I met some Republicans (older, 40s+) who were no fan of Strickland, but felt that they couldn't bring themselves to vote for a black man.

Indeed, this was the case in 2008. I spoke with one guy in his 40s a few days ago actually who said, "Hey man, I'm a Democrat...but no way I was gonna vote for Obama. You know why. (wink, wink)"

I saw a TON of that. I know it's said to be racist but you wouldn't believe how many people are seriously agitated by things they dislike and associate with African Americans. I think many problems are because lots of crime exists in inner cities, low income housing, all of which are predominately African American.

If every player for the Dallas Cowboys had bright orange hair, they would become the "ginger team" and fans of rival teams would say things that were negative about redheads because the team they oppose was full of redheads.

It's the same on both sides. They can say Ginger, but if you even joke anything remotely racist, it's a riot. It's Rodney King. It's Jesse Jackson.

That turns people, a large white majority, off. That's my fear. Obama may be re-elected President while massively, more than any other Democrat, losing the white vote. That's gotta make him feel subpar.

See, now I turn a corner. I don't vote based on the race of the candidate, I vote on issues. The problem is, many of those issues are things that I'm against that would tend to favor African Americans (welfare, section 8 housing, affirmative action, ect). But people will still label me a racist.

What can you do? I mean, eight years of a black President won't change anything. Some things will never change.

That's just the way it is.

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I think it's safe to say we all agree this show is far better than the utter filth that is South Park.

LOL I'm watching an episode now and I just noticed how a baby pony is in a baby carriage and wearing a diaper. LOL.

You are 28 years old.  That is all.

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Unfortunately I don't think that's King's work. I'm pretty sure I've seen it before. It's a classic, though.

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Snowstalker should be banned for this.

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My parents had maid services during my junior year in college.  It scared the hell out of me when I visited during Winter Break, mostly because I had no idea that my parents even had maid service.  I was in my room working up my motivation when this short Hispanic lady just burst into my room!
I almost had a heart attack at age 21.
She was freaked out too and went about cleaning other areas.  I managed to clean a few spots in my room (mostly just taking some water glasses downstairs and throwing my bedding sheets into the washing machine, throwing all of the clothes on my floor into a suitcase) and then gave them the go ahead and sped off to the nearest bar so I could get my heart rate back down to a non-life threatening level.

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hate to clue you in, but homosexuality ain't exactly the embracement of human reproduction.

Hate to clue you in, but 'embracement' isn't a real word

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You guys really found that funny? Okay.

[Oakvale]

Hello Hagrid

nice to meet you

some posters here r crazy becuase I am an independent Democrat who supports Rmney for President.
I have  a own election group with a weekly electoral map @ facebook!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/185054414852195/
with a weekly electoral map of mine-very accurate
for the mid-terms in 2010 I had had only 1 State wrong- WA

I think the numbers for OH and Fl r probably very near  to the truth PA is way off. imo

I would ask why your Facebook page has this album full of bizarre pictures of Hillary Clinton, but I suspect that question answers itself.

[Oakvale]

Joe Biden was at a gay couple's house.  He was asked by the couple if he was "comfortable" with their relationship.  He said "absolutely."  How do you possibly extrapolate that

It should have gone something like this...

Q: "Hello, Governor Romney, I'm Jack and this is my partner, Mark.  Are you comfortable with our relationship?"

A: "Mittbot detects issue to be 'homosexual' and 'relationship.'  Your relationship is of no concern.    Data indicates the election is about 'economy.'  Mittbot must only talk of 'economy.'  Homosexuality is not related to 'economy.'  Conversation terminated."

Q: "But governor..."

A: "Apprehension detected.  Loading anecdote for 'gay.'"

Q: "Mitt?"

A:  "I like the movie Hairspray.  Movie studios create jobs.  Hairspray manufacturing creates jobs.  Jobs are good.  Mittbot understands."

Q: "..."

A: "Human anecdote complete. You are welcome. Goodbye."

[Oakvale]

You need some kind of sombre background music while reading through that post.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STRgG38T6sc

That's much better than what I came up with:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ

That's somber to you?

Wow.

[Oakvale]

I cannot believe nearly 30% of you have not so much as kissed a girl. I am shocked and appalled at how a significant portion of you have failed something so easily. This is unacceptable. It's time for some tough love. Look at these chumps

Don't know the exact age anymore, but before I started massdebating. Probably 10 or so.

I was already nearly out of college, I was 23 and just a couple months shy of my 24th birthday.  I've only been kissed maybe 3 or 4 times in my entire life.

The first guy lives on the other side of the world and sets his alarm to real early in the morning so he can get up and watch the Republican primaries to see whether Mitt Romney gets 65% or 70% in Oregon. The second guy is 300 pounds and is basically retarded. If they can kiss a girl, why can't some of you?

I'm one of the nevers, but then again, I'm 14...

I don't care if you are 14 months old, that is no excuse.

Never...and I'll be 20 next week.

That's because you're a blue dog. There is a reason why blue dogs are going extinct and it is because they don't reproduce. It's time to decide if you want to be a liberal or conservative. If you choose the liberal path, you can find a loose hippy girl or something at a concert and easily get some action - even if your face looks like meatloaf. Or you can choose to be conservative and get a conservative girl where the sex will be nothing more than missionary through a bedsheet. Either way, it is still a step up from what you have now.

Never. I'm 19 years old.

Go abroad. You have a British accent so you can pull the exotic angle.

Never; I turn 20 this summer.

I told you like a year ago making maps will NOT help you get girls. Did you listen to me? No, no you did not. This is what we're going to do. You are not going to make maps or do anything of the sort for the time being. Instead, you're going to go to a bar, drink some alcohol and mack on the ladies. For the love of God, do NOT talk about how you discovered errors in the local Connecticut dog catcher race. From now on the only "maps" you should be studying is a map of female anatomy.

I'm seventeen and I've never been kissed.  Not ashamed to admit it.

What is wrong with Connecticut? Do they not teach you how to kiss in that state?

Next time I see this poll ran, I want "never" under 10%. When 30% of one of my classes are failing, it drags everyone down and reflects bad on all of us.

 

[Oakvale]

I speak Latin

[Oakvale]

The idea of someone speaking a dead language, especially, Latin (or even claiming to speak it) is inherently hilarious to me. If you don't find it so I apologise.

[Oakvale]

The idea of someone speaking a dead language, especially, Latin (or even claiming to speak it) is inherently hilarious to me. If you don't find it so I apologise.

I personally have a great admiration for people able to speak dead languages, especially Latin.

Learning to speak a dead language seems like the very definition of a waste of time, but different strokes...

[Oakvale]

Common-sense solution alert:

Tell me, what is President Romney's plan to rehabilitate black urban areas?

Do they really need  rehabilitation. Couldn't we just give a tax cut to all instead.

[Oakvale]

'Ever play the game"President Forever"?  I have the 2008 version with a 2012 scenario mod; playing through the game has given me some insights into how the election might play out.  If I had to guess, I'd say the Romney campaign is biding its time and won't roll out the big advertising blitz until at least October.  Once that happens, all bets are off.  For this reason, I'm not too concerned about Obama having more money or even that he's ahead in the polls. 

[Oakvale]

Oakvale - Is that really you?

Yes, the ~ two months I took off from this weird place probably extended my life by far more than that, but I'm back nonetheless.