Chapter Three: Buckets of Warm Piss

[Cincinnatus]

Welcome.  Not a lot of papers in circulation, and the Atlasian people need another news source.  I will be writing articles in here soon, but first, I'll be creating a poll.

analyses

[Yelnoc]

Awesome, I'll be reading this.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I can't wait to see the new poll!

[Ban my account ffs!]

Can I get an iPad subscription? 

[Cincinnatus]

Can I get an iPad subscription? 

We're creating a free APP for all apple supported products.  However, because my capital is low, I had to hire an inexperienced tech dept.  I wouldn't hold my breathe

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

So if you're done doing approvals, what will y'all right about? And seriously, I only want my news on my iPad now. An app is a must if you want to remain competitive and have my invest in your new venture.

You're in luck though. I have $15M left over from my last senate race, and am willing to donate to your new business in exchange for an endorsement/hefty donation once you're profitable.

[Teddy (IDS Legislator)]

Sounds communist

[Cincinnatus]

Sounds communist

Censored

[Cincinnatus]

So if you're done doing approvals, what will y'all right about? And seriously, I only want my news on my iPad now. An app is a must if you want to remain competitive and have my invest in your new venture.

You're in luck though. I have $15M left over from my last senate race, and am willing to donate to your new business in exchange for an endorsement/hefty donation once you're profitable.

I'm not saying I won't do approvals.  My main point is, I'm sick of just approval pollings all over the place.  I'd like to talk about some regional issues (Mainly NE, but if anyone has information for another region that would be fine as well).  Also, I'd be writing about bills on the floor, and hopefully, I can get some interviews and opinion pieces rolling later on.  

Also, I can't accept your donation, because this is "The People's Paper", and I would be doing a disservice to the People by accepting their money that was intended for the purposes of your campaign.  Furthermore, an endorsement must be earned Senator, so you'll have to treat me to an expensive dinner first.

[Cincinnatus]

IDS "Trojan Act" Unconstitutional

Monday, Sept 05

Two months ago the IDS passed the "Trojan Act", placing condoms in accessible areas in order to increase safe sex.  However, today's GM article revealed an obvious problem.  The much celebrated act, is in fact unconstitutional. 

With the resignation of Kal, the Attorney General position has been vacant.  It is unknown when, and who, Polnut may tap for the position.  What is known, is that for two months a blatantly unconstitutional bill was implemented in the IDS.  While the law does not actually "recognize the Dibble as a "currency"", it is expected that with the recent GM article, a lawsuit will occur.

Game Changer

With the recent announcement declaring his candidacy for President, Governor Winfield may very well have changed the direction of this election cycle.  Into the second half of his term as Governor of the Northeast, Winfield has continuously received high praise and enormous support from within the region.  Such support may hinder another right-wing candidate from obtaining a united vote. 

After an embarrassing defeat last election, the RPP is expected to produce a strong candidate.  Senator Duke who is scheduled to make an announcement within the next few days, may very well declare his intention to move into the White House in October.  If he does run, while the Senator has strong support from moderates, his VP choice remains crucial in retaining votes that may otherwise change camps.

[CatoMinor]

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The IDS does not recognize it as a "currency" so I don't see the problem here.

[Cincinnatus]

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The IDS does not recognize it as a "currency" so I don't see the problem here.

It remains to be seen, as no one has sued as of yet.  Of course saying you don't recognize it as "currency" doesn't negate the fact that you're accepting coined silver/gold outside of the Federal Gov't and allowing it to be used in a "barter system" (Which is essentially how currency is used.  I give you X coins, you give me X wheat and so on).  Fun play on words, but a lawsuit shouldn't have much difficulty.   

* Puts journalist cap back on.

[Cincinnatus]

TPP would like to acknowledge Senator Duke for consistently writing The People in reference.  Thus, we would like to award him an all expense payed trip to our private ocean front location. 

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I want to thank The People for their kind words. Through Them, voices are heard and goals are accomplished. Once I leave office, I will no longer feel guilty about accepting bribesgifts from my adoring fans.

But please, I want to say one more thing. I  welcome any donations from The People into my Duke PAC, a new PAC to help advance my own interestsThe People's message into the halls of our government. We take any form of payment from any source.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

An idea just came to me. Once I retire, I would like to join The People and their Paper as a columnist. Where do I apply?

[Cincinnatus]

An idea just came to me. Once I retire, I would like to join The People and their Paper as a columnist. Where do I apply?

You need not apply.  An office already awaits you.

[Cincinnatus]

TPP's Chief Senate analyst was fired today, when it was found that the the paper failed to realize an amusing quark with the Atlasian Duels Act.  It has now come to the attention of The People that Section 4 could, in theory, allow for strategic registration every week.  TPP contacted the AG's office, but has yet to receive any response. 

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[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I suppose I will take over as Chief Senate Analyst. I need a new job title after this month anyway.

[Cincinnatus]

I suppose I will take over as Chief Senate Analyst. I need a new job title after this month anyway.

Done.  This position comes with top pay too..well..right below mine anyway

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Election Predictions

Nyman, Atlasia - Originally I was going to do an in depth analysis of this election, but with Teddy's spontaneous drop outs and reenters, it started to become hard for me to track and who would pull out last before the climax that is this election.

So we have 6 candidates for 5 seats. This will be about as exciting as the last election where we had 6 running for 5 seats: the only excitement will surround the last seat. Without further adieu, here are my thoughts on this race's candidates, projected in the order I believe they will finish.

1. Junkie - Junkie has been running for senate for quite a while, and if it weren't for my selfishness, he would have made it in a long time ago. He has the knowledge, drive, and competency to be a great senator, and I look forward to following his career. I think he is in the safest position of all the candidates. He will receive the moderate wing of the RPP's vote and a few votes outside of the party.

2. Kalweji - Kal will be more than safe in his reelection bid, much like his party partner Nathan. I like Kal, even though he didn't preference me in the presidential election and for a JCP senator, he tends to think outside the box, which I sure. Sure, we don't agree on every issue, but if we all agreed on everything, the senate would be boring, the game would be boring and really life would be boring. We need Kals in the senate, and he will be reelected and rightfully so.

3. Nathan - Much like Kal, Nathan will be more than safe in this election with the JCP machine behind him. Both are really interchangeable in the sense that one may get more votes than the other, but who really cares, right? I do not know much about Nathan and I really haven't encountered him much in the senate, so I can't say much about him. I hope he will be more active than BRTD, which won't be hard to do. I am relatively glad the JCP is trying to run 2 real candidates in this race instead of a placeholder.

4. 20RP212 (Jake) - I may catch some flack from this, and I may be totally wrong and it will ruin my credibility in the future, but I think Jake takes the fourth seat. I am basing this purely on a hunch that the Silly Party will be a relatively united front along with Jake pulling some of the former Populares. I am also pessimistic about the RPP's chances to get 2 in considering our past failures, and believing we can get 2 in the top 4 of the vote on first preferences would be just too much for me to expect. I like Jake though. He seems dedicated, active and eager to learn, and I like that. We need more of that in Atlasia, and I would be content with him in the senate, assuming he doesn't become old and set in his ways anytime soon.

5. TJ - I only put TJ at the bottom because of my own pessimism, but I believe we will get 2 in this time. TJ will have the backing of the RPP conservative wing which, while is has shrunk in recent months, continues to be a powerful force in Atlasia. TJ has done fine work in the ME assembly and, like Jake, embodies the young energy we could use in the senate. While we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, I believe diversity of ideas is important and will be good for the senate, that these days agrees on too much and shoots down too many good bills (like some of Marokai and I's fine pieces of legislation, obviously).

6. Sewer - Sorry Sewer. I just cannot see a scenario where he makes it in. Downballot he may do well with the JCP voters, but I don't see the first preferences being there for him to make it in. I don't have any comments to say about sewer because he doesn't like me, and I don't want to start a cafeteria fight.

Granted, these predictions could be very wrong, but I am basing this off nearly 3 years of experience in Atlasia elections. My bottom two are kind of gut calls, but I think they will be correct despite the order I may have them listed.

Good luck to everyone in the race. It seems kind of strange not to be on the ballot this time, but I like my new office here amongst The People.

Duke is the Chief Senate Analyst for The People's Paper, having been given the job by a proclamation of The People.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

One thing I've noticed is I can't make a headline on the thread so The People are not aware to read The People's Paper.

[Cincinnatus]

46th Senate Voting History



1.  Selective Education Act    

Sponsor:  BRTD
Failed: November 11th, 2011
Aye;  bgwah, kalwejt, Marokai, BRTD
Nay;  MOPolitico, Yankee, Napoleon, Duke, JBrase

2. Libyan Aid Bill

Sponsor: Duke
Signed; November 14th, 2011.
Aye; Marokai, Napoleon, Kal, MOPolitico, Duke, Yankee, BRTD
Nay; bgwah

3. Atlasian Anti-Bullying Bill 2011

Sponsor: Napoleon
Signed; November 14th, 2011
Aye; bgwah, Yankee, Duke, Marokai, MOPolitico, Kal
Nay;

4. Atlasian Duels Act

Sponsor: bgwah
Aye; bgwah, Yankee, Marokai, Duke, MOPolitico
Nay; Kal

5.  Repeal of the You Can't Beat a DUI..Act

Sponsor: Napoleon
Aye;
Nay; Yankee, Marokai, bgwah, MOPolitico, BRTD,
Abstain; Kal

6. National Initiative Amendment

Sponsor: Kal
Aye; MOPolitico, Yankee, Kal, Marokai, Duke, Nathan,
Nay; Napoleon
Abstain; bgwah

7. The Recall of Senators Amendment

Sponsor: JBrase
Aye; Kal,
Nay; Yankee, Napoleon, Marokai, MOPolitico, Duke, Nathan, bgwah

8. Seperate Elections Amendment

Sponsor: Kal
Could not obtain 2/3
Aye; Kal, Marokai, MOPolitico, Duke, Yankee
Nay; Napoleon, BRTD, bgwah, Nathan

9. Credit where credit is due Resolution

Sponsor(s): Marokai, Duke
Aye; Marokai, JBrase, Nathan, Kal, Yankee, Duke, Napoleon,
Nay; bgwah, BRTD

10. Living Wage Act

Sponsor(s): Marokai, bgwah
Aye; bgwah, Marokai, Duke, Napoleon, Nathan, Kal, Yankee, BRTD
Nay;
Abstain; MOPolitico

11. National Ilikeverin Day

Sponsor; Kal
Signed; November 27th, 2011
Aye; Nathan, Napoleon, MOPolitico, Kal, Duke, Yankee, BRTD
Nay; bgwah

12. Caucus Infrastructure Act

Sponsor(s); Marokai, Duke, Yankee, bgwah
Signed; December 5th, 2011.
Aye; bgwah, Marokai, Kal, Napoleon, BRTD, Yankee, Duke, JBrase, MOPolitico, Nathan
Nay;

13. Death Penalty Reinstatement Act

Sponsor; Kal
Notes; Introduced for constituent (*Joke Bill)
Tabled


Advisement:
TPP can't guarantee 100% accuracy, 100% of the time.  If you have any inquires, or complaints, please contact the editor.

[Cincinnatus]

Northeast Assembly Legislative History


October 2011-December 2011


1)  Anti-Conscription Act

Sponsor: Morgan
Signed by Governor Snowstalker (November 8th, 2011)
Aye; Scott, Morgan, wormyguy, Nathan, 20RP12, RFK, Cincinnatus
Nay;

2)  The Preventing HxC Dancing In Public To Protect Citizen Safety Act of 2011

Sponsor: 20RP12
Aye; 20RP12, Scott, Nathan
Nay; wormy, Cincinnatus, Morgan,
Abstain; RFK

3) The Northeast Cabinet Act

Sponsor: Scott
Signed by Governor Snowstalker (November 21, 2011)
Aye; Scott, Nathan, RFK, Cincinnatus
Nay; wormy, 20RP12

4)  The Making Recycling Fun And Cool Because Nobody Likes To Do It Other Than Hippies Act of 2011

Sponsor; 20RP12
Withdrawn by sponsor

5) Stone Wall Preservation Act

Sponsor: Cincinnatus [written by homely]
Aye; Scott
Nay; wormy, 20RP12
Abstain; Morgan

6) The Music Piracy Decriminalization Act of 2011

Sponsor; 20RP12
Withdrawn by Sponsor

7) Amendment to the NE Constitution - Residential Officeholder Act of 2011

Sponsor: 20RP12
Aye; 20RP12
Nay; Scott, Cincinnatus, RFK

Amendment to the NE Constitution - Lieutenant Governor Vacancy Act

Sponsor: Scott
Failed
Aye; Scott, 20RP12, Cincinnatus,
Nay;

9) The Absolutely Silly Act

Sponsor; Morgan
Signed by Governor Snowstalker (December 6th, 2011)
Aye; Morgan, 20RP12
Nay; wormy,
Abstain; Scott, Dallasfan, Cincinnatus

10) Removing That Stupid Parental Advisory Sticker From CDs Act Of 2011

Sponsor: 20RP12
Withdrawn by Sponsor

11) Amendment to The Vacancy filling Act

Sponsor: Cincinnatus
Signed by Governor Snowstalker (December 9th, 2011)
Aye; Scott, Cincinnatus, 20RP12, Dallasfan, wormyguy, RFK
Nay;







*  2) Tie never broken by Lt. Governor.  Remains unsigned, and uncontested.
*  Giovanni's appointment revoked, Assembly not allowed to nominate.
*  AndrewCT nominated, and swore in as Lt. Governor.



Advisement:
TPP can't guarantee 100% accuracy, 100% of the time.  If you have any inquires, or complaints, please contact the editor.

[Cincinnatus]

IDS Legislative History

October 2011-December 2011

1)  Public Notification Bill

Signed November 18th, 2011.
Aye; Progressive Realist, Yelnoc
Nay;

2)  Amendment to the SE Militia Initiative

Signed November 23, 2011
Sponsor: Clarence
Aye; Clarence, Yelnoc
Nay;

3)  IDS Militia Structure Act

Signed December 11th, 2011.
Sponsor: Yelnoc
Aye; Yelnoc, Clarence, Pingvin99
Nay;

*Yelnoc made Imperial Speaker


Advisement:
TPP can't guarantee 100% accuracy, 100% of the time.  If you have any inquires, or complaints, please contact the editor.

[ZuWo]

Election Predictions

Nyman, Atlasia - Originally I was going to do an in depth analysis of this election, but with Teddy's spontaneous drop outs and reenters, it started to become hard for me to track and who would pull out last before the climax that is this election.

So we have 6 candidates for 5 seats. This will be about as exciting as the last election where we had 6 running for 5 seats: the only excitement will surround the last seat. Without further adieu, here are my thoughts on this race's candidates, projected in the order I believe they will finish.

1. Junkie - Junkie has been running for senate for quite a while, and if it weren't for my selfishness, he would have made it in a long time ago. He has the knowledge, drive, and competency to be a great senator, and I look forward to following his career. I think he is in the safest position of all the candidates. He will receive the moderate wing of the RPP's vote and a few votes outside of the party.

2. Kalweji - Kal will be more than safe in his reelection bid, much like his party partner Nathan. I like Kal, even though he didn't preference me in the presidential election and for a JCP senator, he tends to think outside the box, which I sure. Sure, we don't agree on every issue, but if we all agreed on everything, the senate would be boring, the game would be boring and really life would be boring. We need Kals in the senate, and he will be reelected and rightfully so.

3. Nathan - Much like Kal, Nathan will be more than safe in this election with the JCP machine behind him. Both are really interchangeable in the sense that one may get more votes than the other, but who really cares, right? I do not know much about Nathan and I really haven't encountered him much in the senate, so I can't say much about him. I hope he will be more active than BRTD, which won't be hard to do. I am relatively glad the JCP is trying to run 2 real candidates in this race instead of a placeholder.

4. 20RP212 (Jake) - I may catch some flack from this, and I may be totally wrong and it will ruin my credibility in the future, but I think Jake takes the fourth seat. I am basing this purely on a hunch that the Silly Party will be a relatively united front along with Jake pulling some of the former Populares. I am also pessimistic about the RPP's chances to get 2 in considering our past failures, and believing we can get 2 in the top 4 of the vote on first preferences would be just too much for me to expect. I like Jake though. He seems dedicated, active and eager to learn, and I like that. We need more of that in Atlasia, and I would be content with him in the senate, assuming he doesn't become old and set in his ways anytime soon.

5. TJ - I only put TJ at the bottom because of my own pessimism, but I believe we will get 2 in this time. TJ will have the backing of the RPP conservative wing which, while is has shrunk in recent months, continues to be a powerful force in Atlasia. TJ has done fine work in the ME assembly and, like Jake, embodies the young energy we could use in the senate. While we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, I believe diversity of ideas is important and will be good for the senate, that these days agrees on too much and shoots down too many good bills (like some of Marokai and I's fine pieces of legislation, obviously).

6. Sewer - Sorry Sewer. I just cannot see a scenario where he makes it in. Downballot he may do well with the JCP voters, but I don't see the first preferences being there for him to make it in. I don't have any comments to say about sewer because he doesn't like me, and I don't want to start a cafeteria fight.

Granted, these predictions could be very wrong, but I am basing this off nearly 3 years of experience in Atlasia elections. My bottom two are kind of gut calls, but I think they will be correct despite the order I may have them listed.

Good luck to everyone in the race. It seems kind of strange not to be on the ballot this time, but I like my new office here amongst The People.

Duke is the Chief Senate Analyst for The People's Paper, having been given the job by a proclamation of The People.

Pretty much spot-on! If anything, you underestimated TJ's support. But that's negligible.