Chapter Three: Buckets of Warm Piss

[Cincinnatus]

I hope this is revived full time and more news sources are established. I had already requested a press secretary so now I request the press.

This establishment could easily participate more in the News scene if The People are given a private meeting with the President-elect to discuss a certain proposal..

[Senator Napoleon]

I hope this is revived full time and more news sources are established. I had already requested a press secretary so now I request the press.

This establishment could easily participate more in the News scene if The People are given a private meeting with the President-elect to discuss a certain proposal..

Cigars and champagne on the yacht tonight? Bring a date.

[Prez Duke]

This newspaper is open to becoming the official newspaper of Atlasia if the President so chooses to embrace The People give us that titleand force all our competitors to close their doors.

[Emperor SJoyce]

This newspaper is open to becoming the official newspaper of Atlasia if the President so chooses to embrace The People give us that titleand force all our competitors to close their doors.

I'd support it if you changed the name to the People's Daily. Or Pravda.

[Senator Napoleon]

This newspaper is open to becoming the official newspaper of Atlasia if the President so chooses to embrace The People give us that titleand force all our competitors to close their doors.

I'd support it if you changed the name to the People's Daily. Or Pravda.

There is already a Pravda.

[Prez Duke]

This newspaper is open to becoming the official newspaper of Atlasia if the President so chooses to embrace The People give us that titleand force all our competitors to close their doors.

I'd support it if you changed the name to the People's Daily. Or Pravda.

You want us to change the name of The People's Paper? The People are a no nonsense group. We like our PBR in a can; our whiskey on the rocks, and our women slender with long legs. We don't need some sort of fancy name. Our Paper is the mouthpiece of The People and we will not have someone come into our office and begin shouting vicious demands at us to change.

This will be The People Paper now and forevermore, until the end of ages, amen.

[Emperor SJoyce]

This newspaper is open to becoming the official newspaper of Atlasia if the President so chooses to embrace The People give us that titleand force all our competitors to close their doors.

I'd support it if you changed the name to the People's Daily. Or Pravda.

There is already a Pravda.

There is also already a People's Daily. That's kind of the point (them already existing isn't, but them being what they are is).

[Senator Napoleon]

I haven't seen a People's Daily around here. Who is the editor?

[Emperor SJoyce]

I haven't seen a People's Daily around here. Who is the editor?

中国共产党中央委员会 does.

[Senator Napoleon]

I haven't seen a People's Daily around here. Who is the editor?

中国共产党中央委员会 does.

That isn't Atlasia!

[Emperor SJoyce]

I haven't seen a People's Daily around here. Who is the editor?

中国共产党中央委员会 does.

That isn't Atlasia!

No, but it's an official newspaper (Pravda was too, till Yeltsin did away with it).

[Prez Duke]

BREAKING: SOUTHERN UNITY ACT WITHDRAWN

With thousands gathering at the statehouse in support of Representative Senator Duke and The People, Representative JBrase announced, with a tearful eye, that he would withdraw his controversial build to the cheers of The People all over the great Southern land. Bourbon will be flowing in the streets tonight in New Orleans.

[IDS Legislator Alfred F. Jones]

Huzzah!

[Diabolical Minds Think Alike]

Huzzah!

[Cincinnatus]

Huzzah!

The People will not tolerate post-padding sir.  Kindly exit this establishment before we are forced to take decisive action.

In other news, The People are currently considering new applications for those they deem worthy.  Be aware, your sole mission as a part of this staff will be to crush this.. "competition" called The Porcupine, until such a time that the Editor agrees to submit a merger.

[IDS Legislator Alfred F. Jones]

Now, now, we can't have all this fighting going on. We need a vibrant media here, and you two are the only newspapers.

[Prez Duke]

Now, now, we can't have all this fighting going on. We need a vibrant media here, and you two are the only newspapers.

The People are only concerned about the bottom line. We don't care about a vibrant media when the competition is nothing more than a bunch of amateurs. The People deserve the best news around, and if it means it must come from a single provider, then so be it. And ever since The People formed their own news source, information in Atlasia has flourished. It's populace are reading more than ever before and discussions in the coffee shops and diners across this land have taken off. What don't you love about that?

We are not here to play nice and hold hands. We are here to make Atlasia the best it can be. If one does not want to join Us for the ride, then kindly use the door to your left because The People are forging ahead with or without you on our team. The choice is yours.

[Diabolical Minds Think Alike]

Huzzah!

The People will not tolerate post-padding sir.  Kindly exit this establishment before we are forced to take decisive action.

In other news, The People are currently considering new applications for those they deem worthy.  Be aware, your sole mission as a part of this staff will be to crush this.. "competition" called The Porcupine, until such a time that the Editor agrees to submit a merger.

Ya mad?

[Prez Duke]

Huzzah!

The People will not tolerate post-padding sir.  Kindly exit this establishment before we are forced to take decisive action.

In other news, The People are currently considering new applications for those they deem worthy.  Be aware, your sole mission as a part of this staff will be to crush this.. "competition" called The Porcupine, until such a time that the Editor agrees to submit a merger.

Ya mad?

I think we have made it clear our end goal is to force The Porcupine out of businessprovide the best news service around, focusing on the quality, not the quantity of news stories. Posts like yours only serve to anger The People while they wade through our award winning articles.

While We have not made our decision on your campaign, it would be wise for you to shape up, offer something of substance and pray by donating at least $100,000 to our cause that you secure Our endorsement before the polls open.

[IDS Legislator Alfred F. Jones]

Huzzah!

The People will not tolerate post-padding sir.  Kindly exit this establishment before we are forced to take decisive action.

In other news, The People are currently considering new applications for those they deem worthy.  Be aware, your sole mission as a part of this staff will be to crush this.. "competition" called The Porcupine, until such a time that the Editor agrees to submit a merger.

Ya mad?

I think we have made it clear our end goal is to force The Porcupine out of businessprovide the best news service around, focusing on the quality, not the quantity of news stories. Posts like yours only serve to anger The People while they wade through our award winning articles.

While We have not made our decision on your campaign, it would be wise for you to shape up, offer something of substance and pray by donating at least $100,000 to our cause that you secure Our endorsement before the polls open.

I think you guys are a great paper, but we can't just have one, even if it is awesome. That's called a monopoly, and it's probably illegal.

[Emperor SJoyce]

Huzzah!

The People will not tolerate post-padding sir.  Kindly exit this establishment before we are forced to take decisive action.

In other news, The People are currently considering new applications for those they deem worthy.  Be aware, your sole mission as a part of this staff will be to crush this.. "competition" called The Porcupine, until such a time that the Editor agrees to submit a merger.

Ya mad?

I think we have made it clear our end goal is to force The Porcupine out of businessprovide the best news service around, focusing on the quality, not the quantity of news stories. Posts like yours only serve to anger The People while they wade through our award winning articles.

While We have not made our decision on your campaign, it would be wise for you to shape up, offer something of substance and pray by donating at least $100,000 to our cause that you secure Our endorsement before the polls open.

I think you guys are a great paper, but we can't just have one, even if it is awesome. That's called a monopoly, and it's probably illegal.

Nonsense, Alfred! Monopolies are entirely legal and have entirely positive effects, like bragging to your friends and family and getting hotels on Boardwalk.

[CathKhan]

Apparently I'm a political cartoonist for this paper now or something.

[Cincinnatus]

Apparently I'm a political cartoonist for this paper now or something.

You could have waited for me to announce your hiring, but I guess this works too.. Lol

[Prez Duke]

Apparently I'm a political cartoonist for this paper now or something.

You could have waited for me to announce your hiring, but I guess this works too.. Lol

It's okay. Cathcon needs to be submergedin water amongst The People before he will know right from wrong.

[Cincinnatus]

BREAKING:  Massive Overhaul in Effect


In light of recent competition, The People have implemented an enormous expansion of their staff.  Effective immediately, we will now employ a regional correspondent for each of the five regions.  In addition, we have hired a new Political analyst, and are currently negotiating contracts for several other prospects, and most importantly, a Midwest correspondent.  The current staff at this time is listed below;

Staff:

Cincinnatus - Majority Stakeholder and NE Correspondent
Duke - Senior Political and Legal Analyst
Mechaman - Political Analyst
Yelnoc - IDS Correspondent
Fuzzy - Pacific Correspondent
Cathcon - ME Correspondent and Political Cartoonist