Not quite sure how to say this...

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

I've been on the forum for roughly eleven months, starting in early October. About a month before that, on September 2nd, my Dad died. He had been on a ladder cutting off a large part of the tree on August 27th. When it finally left its base, my brother and I, holding ropes connected to the falling branch, had the job of making sure it didn't fall towards the house. However, we apparently weren't strong enough. It fell back towards both my house and my Dad, hitting him off the ladder causing him to fall to the ground. Meanwhile, the piece of tree (branch doesn't quite sum it up), landed leaning against the house. My Mom, brother, and I were scared out of our wits, rushing over to him. At first, it seemed like my Dad might be a vegetable for the rest of his life, lacking the ability to talk. It took my Mom breathing into his mouth (can't think of the right word) to get him the necessary oxygen to regain his wits. He seemed able to answer the questions my Mom asked, but wasn't talking normally. He had a huge gash in his leg and had landed on his back. My brother called the police/fire department, and within minutes, they had arrived and were rushing him on a stretcher into the ambulance. When we were finally able to get to the hospital after accidentally going to a different hospital, we learned the news: he had a very large back injury. It was just to the point where if it were any worse, he would be paralyzed. However, it seemed that he could be cured. By then we had stopped worrying about his mental state. For the next few days we stayed at the hospital, hearing about how it seemed he would get better. On September 2nd, which I am guessing was a Thursday, I had stayed over at my friend's house the night before in order to get a break from sleeping at my grandparents' or in the hospital, and came in assuming that it would be another day of waiting for him to get better. However, when we (my brother and I) my Mom was crying and she had been told that my Dad's body was beginning to shut down. It was inexplicable, and it was assumed that the fall had just been too much for his body to sustain. The major area of concern was his kidneys which had shut down and they were realying on a machine to clean his blood. Over the course of th enext few hours, the news only got worse until finally, it was decided. It didn't seem like it was decided until we were in his hospital room and they began shutting down the machines. Then, like that, I had wished my Dad farewell, and it was over.

I've basically acted as if my Dad was alive in the few times I've mentioned him or said "my parents" because I was told by my Mom not to reveal personal information about myself and, I guess, the family. Therefore, I've acted as if nothing happened while on here.

My Dad was the church organist at our church and dare I say a damn good one. He had worked there for many years, since I think 1994, before my birth. He was born on May 31st, 1957 in Ohio, had come to Michigan in 1982 for college (after having lived in other states as well and having had other college degrees). He met my Mom in the early nineties, and they were married. Since this is the one year anniversary of his death, I felt I shoudl get it off my chest, and I'm not quite sure how to say this, but this is how I've said it.

[angus]

Tough break, kid.  No one's going to hold it against you.  And no one would be offended if you changed your mind about the revelation and deleted the thread.  But putting it out there can be cathartic.

Peace be with you. 

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

very sorry to hear about your dad.  You'll see him again.

[ZuWo]

This is very sad to read. I wish you strenght in your pain.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

I were just one year older than you when my father died. It wasn't an accident, but a sudden, totally out of the blue heart attack. So I know what you've been through

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

My heart-felt sympathies, young friend, and it's very brave of you to share some of your thoughts.  As angus noted, hopefully you found it cathartic.

[Cincinnatus]

I go and help my Father cut down branches every summer, so I couldn't imagine how I would feel in your shoes.  I must agree with the previous posters as well, in that, it takes courage to talk about your pain.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Thank, all of you. My main reason for doing this is so I don't have to lie, pretend it didn't happen, or have to mention it in a passing way in a conversation as in "My Mom did it because my Dad's dead..." then get drawn into the can of worms. I'd prefer that it just be out in the open.

[I Am Feeblepizza.]

That's terrible. I can't imagine what it would be like to have my father die. As some posters have already said previously, it's very brave of you to get these thoughts off your chest and out into the open.

Peace be with you and your family.

[hawkeye59]

That's terrible. I can't imagine what it would be like to have my father die. As some posters have already said previously, it's very brave of you to get these thoughts off your chest and out into the open.

Peace be with you and your family.

[World politics is up Schmitt creek]

As others have said, you're being incredibly brave about this. I never knew my father, but growing up with him and then losing him--especially since you're pretty young, aren't you?--is...well, I can only imagine how difficult it must be. It's really impressive that you seem to be holding up this well, and especially that you've put this out into the clear air. You and your family are certainly in my prayers.

[anvi]

Cathcon,

Thank you for very courageously telling us the story of your dad's passing.  I also lost my dad at a relatively young age and have close friends who have as well, and it's a great deal for a young man to have to handle.  Heartfelt sympathies and best wishes to you and your family.  Keep him alive in your memories and in your family's conversations, and he will always be with you.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

That's terrible. I can't imagine what it would be like to have my father die. As some posters have already said previously, it's very brave of you to get these thoughts off your chest and out into the open.

Peace be with you and your family.

[Thomas D]

So sorry to hear about your loss. I wish you and your family the best.

[Joe Biden 2020]

As has been mentioned, you are a very courageous young man for sharing this.  I have never lost a parent, but have lost three grandparents.  I can't imagine how I would feel if I lost either of my parents, especially in such a way that you lost your old man.  I don't know if I could be as brave as you are.  God Bless You, Brother, and as jmfcst said, you'll see him again one day when you, too, get home!  Just remember, and be thankful, that he is not a vegetable or paralyzed and that he has felt none of this pain in the past year and will never have back trouble, or any other illness or pain for all eternity!

As a preacher, if you need anything, feel free to PM me, and I'll be more than happy to be of any comfort I can.

[Ban my account ffs!]

I'm sorry to hear this.  I'm glad you were able to share this.  It teaches the rest of us to enjoy every moment we have with loved ones, good times and bad.

I hope your family is healing... something so unexpected definitely takes time.

[they don't love you like i love you]

Ugh.

Your dad was born less than a month apart from mine, so that kind of hits close to home. My childhood was surprisingly free of relative deaths (besides my maternal grandmother), and I've had a few lately that hit hard. Neither of my parents thankfully, but it's pretty upsetting to think that in addition to losing her husband my grandmother has already watched half her children die (the two besides my father and his twin sister), one from a traffic accident he caused while driving drunk and the other from suicide.

It's good you've been able to finally share this. I know at you age I probably would've withheld this type of stuff too because I have a real tendency to not talk about this stuff ever and just bottle it up. I also do hope your family is healing, I can only imagine how difficult that must be and how much time it would take.

[Mechaman]

Wow man, that was hard for me to read.

It reminded me of when my best friend in the whole world died in December '09.  He was like my little brother I loved him.  What I remember best about him is how much of a Green Day fan he was, how he would light up when "Wake Me Up When September Ends", his favorite song.  When he was a live I hated that song, and I (admittedly still do) hate Green Day.
Then one day, he suffered an asthma attack while at work at a Taco Bell in my hometown.  He had just ran out of his asthma medication.  I didn't even know he had asthma, especially asthma as severe as his.  The medics tried to keep him living until he made it to the hospital.  But he was dead on arrival.
I remember that day, in December '09 like it was yesterday.  I was just off two months of being totally alcohol and nicotine free (long story short I lost a lot of people in the Summer of '09, enough to drive me alcoholic for a spell) and my schooling seemed to improve quite a bit.  Then, my mother called me to deliver the news.  She said "Son, please sit down.  There is something I just have to tell you."
Frustrated with her tone that implied tragedy (I had lost too many damn people that year: my grandfather, a couple I looked up to when I was younger, their two youngest daughters, and one of my closest friend's (who made a miraculous recovery after a SERIOUS skiing accident that damaged parts of his brain) father) I inquired.
She went through the description of how my best friend suffered an asthma attack, how he was out of his medication and had to be rushed to a hospital.  I had to ask of his condition, all she could say was:
"He's dead Scott."
All of the progress I had made towards a sober lifestyle took a nosedive with those words.  I was beside with grief and there was no way I felt like facing his death like a man.  I turned to Morgans, I turned to Blackheart, I turned to anything that would make the pain of losing my little brother to the damn asthma.  But it only managed to tear me further apart inside.  It wasn't until earlier this year, in March, when I finally got over his death.
But everytime I hear "When September Ends", I still think about him.  I still think about my best friend.  I still think of my little brother.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Thank you all for your kind words, stories, and well wishes.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

The anniversary of a loved one's death is hard.......the first one, brutal.  Hang in here young friend.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

My eyes watered a little while reading this. So sorry to hear about your loss, friend. You're incredibly brave for opening up about it. Hopefully the healing process has begun. Though it will never be completed, it'll soften the blow.