Alcon For Congress Thread!
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Author Topic: Alcon For Congress Thread!  (Read 3650 times)
Alcon
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« on: December 21, 2004, 12:07:41 AM »
« edited: March 03, 2014, 03:23:24 AM by Grad Students are the Worst »

Thunder Hawk City Convention Center
Thunder Hawk, South Dakota
Monday, December 20th, 2004


Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Alcon.

Today, I announce my campaign to run for congressman of Atlasia!

*Crowd cheers*

Congressman John has been a great leader in the congress. However, he says he wants to bring light to Atlasia. Yet it does not seem to be any lighter! In fact, this winter, it seems as if it is getting darker, even earlier. This is not right!

*Crowd applauses*

John also says that he is for pork-barrell spending and raising taxes! I am against all sorts of barrells, pork, ham, and even beef!

*Farmers in crowd boo*

But I do like hamburgers.

*Crowd applauses enthusiasitically*

*Alcon's beautiful wife and two pictureesque children come out, along with kittens and ice cream cones are handed out. A banner reading "ALCON FOR CONGRESS" appears. A rainbow appears over the horizon. Taxes fall.*

I will now take questions.
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King
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« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2004, 12:08:45 AM »

Sorry But I endores John over Alcon!
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KEmperor
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« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2004, 12:08:56 AM »

What is your money plan?
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Gabu
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« Reply #3 on: December 21, 2004, 12:09:10 AM »

I endores alcon
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Alcon
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« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2004, 12:11:20 AM »

First of all, I would like to thank Senator Gabu for his endoresment.


John proposes that we give money to various organizations. He wants to raise spending! But then he says he wants to cut taxes (or raise them, sometimes, depending on his mood)...what is his plan? Does he think money grows on trees? I certainly do not. But I hope to change that!

I propose a plan that will give $2 million per year in research to discover methods by which authentic Atlasian currency will be grown on local midwestern trees. This will be a boon to our farmers and our economy.
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Defarge
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« Reply #5 on: December 21, 2004, 12:12:26 AM »

I aso endores Aln
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KEmperor
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« Reply #6 on: December 21, 2004, 12:12:38 AM »

Good answer, but what about the lesbin trees?
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Gabu
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« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2004, 12:12:50 AM »

Alcon, I am troubled that you appear not to want to raise taxes and increase pork-barrel spending.  What will you do to ensure this happens?
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Alcon
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« Reply #8 on: December 21, 2004, 12:15:03 AM »

Good answer, but what about the lesbin trees?

I believe that lesbin trees should have the rights of guys and also non-guys. However, I also believe in traditional values. Marriage is between a man and a woman, not a tree. However, if that tree is a man, and is a woman, this is alright. However, if the tree is all three, it is unacceptable. We must support traditional man-women-tree marriages.

Alcon, I am troubled that you appear not to want to raise taxes and increase pork-barrel spending.  What will you do to ensure this happens?

All income from taxes will be stored in pork barrels. We may at a later date diversify to other meats. However, this will solve both problems and also allow us to eat the barrels if they are not needed.
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True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)
Ernest
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« Reply #9 on: December 21, 2004, 03:09:54 AM »

P.S. I am still accepting questions on my policies.
Life, auto, or health?
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Alcon
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« Reply #10 on: December 21, 2004, 03:13:06 AM »


Boxers. But I didn't inhale.
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Bleeding heart conservative, HTMLdon
htmldon
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« Reply #11 on: December 21, 2004, 03:33:25 AM »

Im stll leen torwards John Hes doin his bess.
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Platypus
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« Reply #12 on: December 21, 2004, 03:34:43 AM »

old or new tastymint?

OR

spearemint/
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Alcon
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« Reply #13 on: December 21, 2004, 03:42:33 AM »

Im stll leen torwards John Hes doin his bess.

I know I cannot convince all voters, or get their endoresment, but you must understand that I will bring Light and God to Atlasia faster. In fact, if I do not deliver it in thirty minutes or less, it's free - guaranteed.


All three, baby.
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Platypus
hughento
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« Reply #14 on: December 21, 2004, 03:45:23 AM »

are you hit me? I hate you guy pepole, but i prza for you.
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minionofmidas
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« Reply #15 on: December 21, 2004, 04:51:51 AM »

As mayor of Thunder Hawk for the past four years,
...
For these past eight years, I have represented the values of Thunder Hawk
Uh...now how long?
Quote
You must be logged in to read this quote.
You're fourteen and got two children? Right.
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minionofmidas
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« Reply #16 on: December 21, 2004, 04:53:16 AM »

Oh, and you notice the only Congressman John you could run against is Senator John F Kennedy, don't you?
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Gabu
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« Reply #17 on: December 21, 2004, 04:58:26 AM »

Oh, and you notice the only Congressman John you could run against is Senator John F Kennedy, don't you?

Remember that "election" in which John the Troll got "elected" to the "House"?

I suppose if you don't, then you wouldn't know what this is about.
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minionofmidas
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« Reply #18 on: December 21, 2004, 05:23:18 AM »

Oh, and you notice the only Congressman John you could run against is Senator John F Kennedy, don't you?

Remember that "election" in which John the Troll got "elected" to the "House"?

I suppose if you don't, then you wouldn't know what this is about.
Yeah, I noticed which John he's talking about, although I was a little slow in noticing. But I think he should run for Senate. Smiley
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Gabu
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« Reply #19 on: December 21, 2004, 05:24:04 AM »

Oh, and you notice the only Congressman John you could run against is Senator John F Kennedy, don't you?

Remember that "election" in which John the Troll got "elected" to the "House"?

I suppose if you don't, then you wouldn't know what this is about.
Yeah, I noticed which John he's talking about, although I was a little slow in noticing. But I think he should run for Senate. Smiley

Well, at least now you know what this thread is about. Tongue
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Filuwaúrdjan
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« Reply #20 on: December 21, 2004, 05:30:43 AM »

Hmm... as I'm now a Senator with a WV avatar, all pork related things belong to me Wink
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Gabu
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« Reply #21 on: December 21, 2004, 05:31:53 AM »

Hmm... as I'm now a Senator with a WV avatar, all pork related things belong to me Wink

Not to mention KKK-related activities...
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Filuwaúrdjan
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« Reply #22 on: December 21, 2004, 05:35:40 AM »

Hmm... as I'm now a Senator with a WV avatar, all pork related things belong to me Wink

Not to mention KKK-related activities...

That was a long time ago and I'm a reformed charactor nowadays Wink
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StatesRights
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« Reply #23 on: December 21, 2004, 08:29:34 AM »

Jhon for Congress!

He has da fire in his bones!
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Harry
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« Reply #24 on: December 21, 2004, 09:40:34 AM »

argh, this whole "congressman" thing is so stupid...why does John get to blatany defy the constitution but no one else.

Alcon, forget this silliness, but run for Senate!  If 2 of the 3 giants went down in December, knock out the third in February!
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