Poignant Onion Article Discussion Thread

[King]

The Onion releases dozens of humor articles a week. Most a just good for a headline reading chuckle, but every now and then one comes along that is actually worth sharing with people as it nails inadequately expressed thought or feeling on a current event--or even some ridiculous forum community issue.

This is a thread for such articles.

Apple User Acting Like His Dad Just Died
BOSTON—Calling the death a “tragic loss” and saying he was “truly devastated by the news,” self-described Apple product loyalist Eric Cavanaugh is treating the passing of the company’s former CEO Steve Jobs as if his ing dad just died, sources confirmed Thursday. “I can’t believe it,” said Cavanaugh, 28, wearing a saddened expression that would make you think he was mourning the loss of his 61-year-old father, Jack, and not a complete goddamn stranger.
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[Yelnoc]

The Onion releases dozens of humor articles a week. Most a just good for a headline reading chuckle, but every now and then one comes along that is actually worth sharing with people as it nails inadequately expressed thought or feeling on a current event--or even some ridiculous forum community issue.

This is a thread for such articles.

Apple User Acting Like His Dad Just Died
BOSTON—Calling the death a “tragic loss” and saying he was “truly devastated by the news,” self-described Apple product loyalist Eric Cavanaugh is treating the passing of the company’s former CEO Steve Jobs as if his ing dad just died, sources confirmed Thursday. “I can’t believe it,” said Cavanaugh, 28, wearing a saddened expression that would make you think he was mourning the loss of his 61-year-old father, Jack, and not a complete goddamn stranger.
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Poor taste?

[opebo]

Actually it is the mourning which is in poor taste.  What is wrong with people, idolizing a merchant for selling them something?

[Napoleon]

I almost joked yesterday about Jesse Jackson Jr being a prophet. Ipad kills Jobs after all. Very poor taste.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Actually it is the mourning which is in poor taste.  What is wrong with people, idolizing a merchant for selling them something?

It's because Jobs was a revolutionary in the tech industry.  A modern day Thomas Edison.  He's a man worth remembering.

[memphis]

Actually it is the mourning which is in poor taste.  What is wrong with people, idolizing a merchant for selling them something?

It's the cult of celebrity. It matters very little why he was famous, merely that he was.

[Lief 🗽]

Actually it is the mourning which is in poor taste.  What is wrong with people, idolizing a merchant for selling them something?

opebo, once again, eloquently speaks the truth.

[fezzyfestoon]

Amen. Some of their articles are particularly poignant. It freaks me out to no end how people verge on worship when it comes to Jobs and many others. The same thing happened when Heath Ledger died and millions of girls acted as though their long-time husband had died. The placement of people's most intimate feelings are disturbingly out of whack. opebo is completely correct.

[Gustaf]

You're all wrong, but in different ways.

[fezzyfestoon]

You're all wrong, but in different ways.

No, you are

[Platypus]

Actually it is the mourning which is in poor taste.  What is wrong with people, idolizing a merchant for selling them something?

I rarely agree with you, but this comes close to another one of those times.

[dead0man]

The Onion releases dozens of humor articles a week. Most a just good for a headline reading chuckle, but every now and then one comes along that is actually worth sharing with people as it nails inadequately expressed thought or feeling on a current event--or even some ridiculous forum community issue.

This is a thread for such articles.

Apple User Acting Like His Dad Just Died
BOSTON—Calling the death a “tragic loss” and saying he was “truly devastated by the news,” self-described Apple product loyalist Eric Cavanaugh is treating the passing of the company’s former CEO Steve Jobs as if his ing dad just died, sources confirmed Thursday. “I can’t believe it,” said Cavanaugh, 28, wearing a saddened expression that would make you think he was mourning the loss of his 61-year-old father, Jack, and not a complete goddamn stranger.
link

Poor taste?

Maybe, but it's the Onion.  If that kind of thing bothers you you might not want to come back in this thread.


And I agree with article.  Nut up pansies.

[Insula Dei]

Actually it is the mourning which is in poor taste.  What is wrong with people, idolizing a merchant for selling them something?

It's because Jobs was a revolutionary in the tech industry.  A modern day Thomas Edison.  He's a man worth remembering.

Steve Jobs was a manager who was really, really good at his job. He didn't retrieve the iPad from Volcan's own forge, nor did he really enhance the quality of your life. I am all the way with Opebo here.

[Mechaman]

Actually it is the mourning which is in poor taste.  What is wrong with people, idolizing a merchant for selling them something?

It's because Jobs was a revolutionary in the tech industry.  A modern day Thomas Edison.  He's a man worth remembering.

Steve Jobs was a manager who was really, really good at his job. He didn't retrieve the iPad from Volcan's own forge, nor did he really enhance the quality of your life. I am all the way with Opebo here.

It isn't that often when opebo is the voice of sanity and reason.
This looks like one of those times.

I mean no disrespect to Jobs, I mean hell I am typing this up on a Mac laptop, but the blatant idolatry his followers had for him (and Apple products in general) was nauseating.  I mean it literally made me want to throw up a few times.  So yes I respected the man, kind of like I respect my friend Jimmy who somehow achieved a 92% in Principles of Auditing class (without really trying I might add).  I mean yeah, he was great at what he did and he sold quality products that don't give you the dreaded blue screen of death but isn't necrophilia illegal?

Onion article was right on the mark in my opinion:

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[King]

Computers are the only thing I have a hipster behavior with.  I've always used Macs, but I'm seeing them everywhere and being used by the most annoying douches.  It's really all becoming too mainstream for me.  My next computer will probably be an Acer I configure to run Ubuntu.

[Napoleon]

Actually it is the mourning which is in poor taste.  What is wrong with people, idolizing a merchant for selling them something?

It's because Jobs was a revolutionary in the tech industry.  A modern day Thomas Edison.  He's a man worth remembering.

Steve Jobs was a manager who was really, really good at his job. He didn't retrieve the iPad from Volcan's own forge, nor did he really enhance the quality of your life. I am all the way with Opebo here.

How can you determine whether or not someone's life has been improved without actually being that person?

[Insula Dei]

Actually it is the mourning which is in poor taste.  What is wrong with people, idolizing a merchant for selling them something?

It's because Jobs was a revolutionary in the tech industry.  A modern day Thomas Edison.  He's a man worth remembering.

Steve Jobs was a manager who was really, really good at his job. He didn't retrieve the iPad from Volcan's own forge, nor did he really enhance the quality of your life. I am all the way with Opebo here.

How can you determine whether or not someone's life has been improved without actually being that person?

I can have an educated guess.

[Napoleon]

Actually it is the mourning which is in poor taste.  What is wrong with people, idolizing a merchant for selling them something?

It's because Jobs was a revolutionary in the tech industry.  A modern day Thomas Edison.  He's a man worth remembering.

Steve Jobs was a manager who was really, really good at his job. He didn't retrieve the iPad from Volcan's own forge, nor did he really enhance the quality of your life. I am all the way with Opebo here.

How can you determine whether or not someone's life has been improved without actually being that person?

I can have an educated guess.

I don't think your guess can be that educated unless you are reading minds.

[Insula Dei]

Certain things aren't a determining factor for the quality of life of most people. It really should not be controversial that the whole Apple bazar, fun as it might be, isn't really as big a deal in terms of what it means to peoples' lives as certain people seem to make it out to be.

But I see that I have broken rule #2 of the internet: I have gotten involved in an argument which also involves Apple products.

[Mr. Morden]

You think that's poor taste?  The day after Princess Diana died, I said that it would be funny if someone now made a parody of the movie "Darkman 3: Die Darkman Die" titled "Princess Diana 3: Die Di Die".

[Eraserhead]

This kind of thing is a big part of the Jobs/Apple legacy:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2011/apr/30/apple-chinese-workers-treated-inhumanely

So not exactly tearing up over here, sorry. That's not to say I'm personally glad he died or anything but the glowing obituaries are rather ridiculous.

[Teddy (IDS Legislator)]

I used to think Jobs was an okay guy until I saw all of this BS about his death. Disgusting.

[Mechaman]

This kind of thing is a big part of the Jobs/Apple legacy:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2011/apr/30/apple-chinese-workers-treated-inhumanely

So not exactly tearing up over here, sorry. That's not to say I'm personally glad he died or anything but the glowing obituaries are rather ridiculous.

Yeah and he tended to shy away from charity (unlike that evil corporatist non-hipster nerd Bill Gates).

Somebody on here even went as far as to say that Steve Jobs was "the best leftist president we never had".  On what f***ing planet?  Warren Buffet is probably to the far left of Jobs as far as I'm concerned.  Just because you are popular with inconsistent valuing granola oats eating fair trade coffee drinking hipsters (who might not be "leftist") doesn't mean you are "leftist" (hell, look no further than the CEO of Whole Foods Markets for further evidence).

[Gustaf]

You're all wrong, but in different ways.

No, you are

I know that this is one of those areas where no one will change their minds so I was not inclined to even try.

Sure, being really upset about the death of someone you never met is a bit silly to me. But people who look down on people who drive progress are also quite silly. I own no Apple products and I am not much for tech stuff. But it is really condescending to sit around and decide that someone who obviously brought a lot of value to a lot of people was useless.

It might be a harsh reality for Opebo et al on here but Steve Jobs was more useful, appreciated and valuable for humanity than anyone who is a member here.

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

Actually it is the mourning which is in poor taste.  What is wrong with people, idolizing a merchant for selling them something?

It's because Jobs was a revolutionary in the tech industry.  A modern day Thomas Edison.  He's a man worth remembering.

Bad comparison--Edison was a thief and a liar.