First I will apoligise that I do not fit into some disneyfied American stereotype of Scandinavians. I know it's evil of me not to be a walking liberal stereotype. Second I'm sorry Gustaf and I have destroyed your vision of how Scandinavians should be. Of course I also expect that your view of Norwegians will be destroyed the moment you have interact with some of those.
Second... your stereotype of Scandinavian are warmth and friendliness? Wow I'm impressed with how we ended up with that stereotype, the standard description of us are cold and reserved (unless we drink) among foreigners, and it's centuries old.
You clearly don't have a grasp on migration to the United States from Scandinavia. Lots of them came to America and carried their culture and values with them. The stereotypes have been of being reserved, but very warm and welcoming.
And yes...often times people here get a rude awakening upon visiting 'the old country' since they treat the visitors as outsiders even though they can still visit the farm that the relatives lived on.
But living among the only real non-Scandinavia place with Scandinavian roots that permeate the culture to this day gives you insight...that Scandinavians are generally warm and friendly...despite their desire to come off cold and aloof.
We haven't a desire to come off as coold and aloof, that would be weird, we're just not as touchy feely as some other people and we respect people right to be left alone.
We have all the mental illness that comes with those roots as well..the neurosis, passive aggressivity, the constant need to not stand out or make waves...i get the jantelov because people here live it and don't even know what it is...we call it 'Minnesota Nice' but it's really Americanized Jantelov.
You're really weird, there's no neurosis, there's just a common understanding that people pretending to be unique butterflies are really irritating, especially when they're not. You may have developed neurosis in "exile" (through I doubt it), like the one where you expert to be seen as fellow Scandinavians when you travel to Scandinavia and don't speak the language. The point about being a nation, a "folk" is that you share language, culture and social mores and if you doesn't, you're a outsider, much more than a emigrant with no Scandinavian ancestory, but who speak the language.