As Bushie's World Turns (The Update Thread)

[Bacon King]

Inb4 someone wonders if it's a scam

[Bacon King]

Like I said before, make sure you're up on all your shots.

I will be getting a TB shot, yellow fever shot, a typhoid shot, and a Tetanus shot.  I will also be purchasing Malaria tablets when I get to Nairobi.

I now have some more information, just some general notes and also a checklist of what to pack.

You don't need to start taking the Malaria medicine beforehand?

Apparently not, they recommend purchasing it in Kenya rather than in the States as it is a lot cheaper in Kenya.

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http://www.cdc.gov/malaria/about/faqs.html

[Bacon King]

My Wild Mass Guess for how the current story arc ends (done in white colored font as a spoiler tag, highlight below to read).

Bushie actually will make a second trip to Kenya and tell the forum and his family that he's gotten everything organized for it to be a permanent move, even though it's only supposed to be another short mission trip. He will intentionally skip his flight home and become an illegal immigrant living in Kenya doing "God's work," at least until the organization that organizes the mission trips realizes he didn't make the flight with the rest of his group and notifies Kenyan authorities with a missing person report; he's discovered hospitalized with malaria (but mostly unharmed) after he runs out of the prophylaxis medicine he brought from the US. A horribly misguided attempted kidnapping of those sponsored kids may also be involved in the plot somewhere.

[Bacon King]

It's not a small technicality.  Putting all of your eggs in one basket, just to have that basket fall to the ground means you don't have any eggs left.  Putting most of your eggs in one basket means you still have eggs left.  It's not a technicality - it's a huge difference.  Time after time you've been dishonest with the forum, and your story never stays the same.

All of a sudden your sure-fire plan falls through and WHAMO! there's a sudden back-up plan.  But we can't know what the company is?  For someone who compulsively shares details of his life with the forum, that seems strange.  So why all of a sudden is there secrecy with this company and none of the previous ones?  Is this another Rainbow incident?

Alright, fine, I'll disclose the name of the company - Aetna Insurance.  Jr. Web Developer for Aetna Insurance located in Layton, Utah which is 12 miles south of downtown Ogden.  This position has been developing since Xerox was still in play back in early August.  It has slowly materialized and I was actually accepted a week ago, but I just kept it under my hat because I really wanted to go to Kansas.  Since I am not going to Kansas, I am going to Utah, instead.

Either you're lying to us or someone is lying to you.

Here's why!

• The three Aetna Insurance offices in Utah are located in Salt Lake City, Sandy, and Taylorsville. None of these are very close to Ogden or Layton.
• Looking at the Aetna website, jobs with the prefix "junior" seem to be exclusively for college interns.
• There is no "junior" position that exists in their web team.
• Aetna doesn't call the position "Web Developer", they call it "Web Engineer."
• None of Aetna's three Utah offices are currently hiring Web Engineers, or any other jobs in the IT field for that matter, besides a few random non-web IT jobs in SLC.
• Oh, actually, the entire Web Engineer team is based solely out of their national headquarters in Connecticut, so there's literally no reason for them to ever be offered in Utah or anywhere else.

You will be interviewing for a non-existent job in a non-existent office, and if the job were to exist it would effectively be a minimum wage internship, and instead of being at the non-existent office near Ogden it would actually be in Hartford, Connecticut, on the other side of the country.

edit- it appears i've been ninja'd by others doing their own research, but i think most of this is still valid.

[Bacon King]

When I get to Salt Lake City.  I am not going to hop into an apartment right away.  I've got a 4 week stay in an extended stay hotel  in Ogden so I can test out the job and gauge to see if I will like it or not.  After the 4 weeks (which will end October 2), if I like the job, I will extend the extended stay another 4 weeks while I look for an apartment and try to be moved in by October 30 when the next 4 weeks will be up.  If somehow the job doesn't work out, I can come back to Oklahoma on October 2 and look for a job here without having to sever an apartment lease.

Is this a job with an actual Aetna office in Layton?

http://maps.google.com/maps?q=Aetna&ll=41.019283,-111.934204&spn=1.104496,2.705383&sll=41.060222,-111.971053&sspn=0.137979,0.338173&near=Layton,+UT&geocode=CZmH28LT8_SNFX6HcgIdE3VT-Sn5MAfZ1v1ShzEYnBsAfrCxjA&gl=us&hq=Aetna&t=m&z=9&iwloc=A

I stand corrected, it is Salt Lake City, actually Option A on the map.  I don't know why I said Layton, I must have been thinking of another possibility, not Aetna.  Aetna is indeed Option A on the map and another possibility I have is in Layton.  Since Aetna is a sure job, I don't have to worry about the possibility.

1. If Aetna is apparently a sure thing, and it's in Salt Lake City, why the hell are you planning to be in an extended stay motel in Ogden? So you can work at the "possibility that you don't have to worry about"?
2. With all your typical anal-retentive planning around every miniscule detail, how do you somehow suddenly mix up something as important as where you'll be living and working?
3. How the hell could a job with a Fortune 100 company be a "sure thing" for someone with your resume, especially when it's for a position that doesn't exist?
4. I want to write more but Jesus Angry Tapdancing Christ it won't make a difference will it?

Just wanna go to Utah to be buddy buddy with Jamespol or just get out of your parents' house or whatever, and come up with some excuse about jobs so your parents will pay for you to travel and then you'll come up with another sob story about getting let off after two weeks so your parents will give you more money to come home? Hell, why else would you be jumping the gun to make travel plans before things are even slightly certain, and then planning to stay in an extended stay hotel "just in case"?

[Bacon King]

Ha, I thought you were going to bed. We discussed this in IRC which is why I brought it up. Regardless good work, your research here is far more thorough and does provide proof beyond a doubt this is not real and does also debunk his excuse for the office not being in Layton.

Was gonna make a quick post before sleeping, then got distracted by the research

(are you still in the chat? if so, can you invite me? i think the room is broken now. take this convo to the chat thread btw if you respond, so we don't taint the glorious update thread with off topic chatter)

But regardless, thanks!

[Bacon King]

Is this a job with an actual Aetna office in Layton?

http://maps.google.com/maps?q=Aetna&ll=41.019283,-111.934204&spn=1.104496,2.705383&sll=41.060222,-111.971053&sspn=0.137979,0.338173&near=Layton,+UT&geocode=CZmH28LT8_SNFX6HcgIdE3VT-Sn5MAfZ1v1ShzEYnBsAfrCxjA&gl=us&hq=Aetna&t=m&z=9&iwloc=A

I stand corrected, it is Salt Lake City, actually Option A on the map.  I don't know why I said Layton, I must have been thinking of another possibility, not Aetna.  Aetna is indeed Option A on the map and another possibility I have is in Layton.  Since Aetna is a sure job, I don't have to worry about the possibility.

Option A on the map is West Jordan and appears to be mislabeled - it's a random house in a random subdivision. There's a behavioral health center in Sandy, but that's like 50 miles south of Ogden. Quite the commute if you ask me! Is there even an Aetna office in Salt Lake City? Google maps does not yield its location.

I can't find the location, but per Aetna's own website a SLC location does indeed exist. It must be pretty minor, because they even use out-of-state addresses in CA and CT for their various filings with the Utah Department of Insurance.

[Bacon King]

>describes job as a "sure thing"
>cautious because he's not "100% sure this job is going to last"

>he's going to be working for "a large, well-known, reputable company"
>this mystery company apparently already has given him a date for getting his badge
>he's only talked with this company on the phone once
>he didn't mention it to the forum until after Kansas plans fell through

>The mystery job is totally a Jr. Web Developer at Aetna
>Except it's not for like a dozen reasons

>The job is just south of Ogden
>oh wait, it's in SLC
>yeah, totally in SLC, it's Location A on that map
>Location A is not in SLC
>Zoom in and see it's a mislabeled residential neighborhood

>There's apparently a second job offer near Ogden that's a possibility
>Didn't mention this until he had to cover a lie
>Says he's not going to worry about it because other job is a "sure thing"
>Hasn't mentioned it since

>Even though "Aetna job" isn't "100%", is already planning on coming home if it falls through
>Totally ignoring the "other offer" he fabricated to cover his lie
>Totally ignoring the possibility of finding any other jobs there
>Already has a specific date for when to come home if "just by some chance" things don't work

I think that covers all the plot holes! Anyone see anything I missed?

PS:

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[Bacon King]

The man needs to get on welfare. Period.

No... someone who quit a job to go chase a potential job just to have his dreams shot down should not be on welfare.

Obviously his (and most Americans) lives would be much better if he were guaranteed housing and a generous dole by the state. Some people are just not cut out for or do not want to have employment, and for them the government should step in and support them.

Why should the government help people who are not willing to help themselves?

Why should your parents?
[/possibly excessive low-blow]

[Bacon King]

My going theory is that Bushie never quit Oklahoma Natural Gas, but got injured on the job and went on workman's comp, and decided to start spinning these elaborate tales to serve as entertainment during his downtime for the last two years.

I would hope that that is the case.  Either that or my take that he is Keyser Soze, mastermind extraordinaire.  We all think he is the hapless Verbal Kint but it is he that is laughing at us poor fools.

If he's fooling us, he's fooling everyone who knows him in real life as well. He posts the same stuff here as he does on his Facebook page (his announcements here are sometimes even word-for-word reposts), and plenty of family and friends always send him their best wished for his new job opportunities and offer their prayers when things don't work out.

[Bacon King]

Bushie, what's the pay?  (Don't be coy with this, you've told us that type of info and more before.)

Hmmm he answered this earlier but seems to have deleted it...

Sorry.  That might have been me.  My laptop froze while I was reading the thread earlier, and I clicked a couple times on the page as well as scrolled up and down - so it might've happened once it unfroze.  I didn't notice anything different, but it's possible it got deleted then - I'm honestly not sure.

Hey, that's happened to me once or twice.

IIRC he said 36k

[Bacon King]

What a tweest!

Seems legit, especially given the speed you posted that, but still doesn't explain why you'll be staying so damn far from the office. Or why you originally said it was in two other places when the email clearly states the city the office is in.

While Aetna does their own web stuff thru their Connecticut office, perhaps this is for something like making fancy websites for Aetna policy doctors in Utah.

Did you ever get back to them or have you just been planning to show up and hope the job is still waiting for you somehow? Have you actually spoken with anyone on the phone?   

[Bacon King]

I am going to add 4 big firsts to my life tomorrow.  First off, I have never before been west of I-25.  I will do just that tomorrow morning.  Secondly, I'm going to add 3 new states to my have been in list.  Wyoming, Utah, and Idaho.  Idaho is only 57 miles north of Ogden, so I'm going to drive up and touch the southeastern corner of Idaho on I-15, by going up and back down.  It should only add an additional hour and 45 minutes to my trip.  So, I am going to leave earlier than I had planned, around 5:00 MDT.

You're truly a bizarre individual.

It's kind of a ridiculous waste of gas.

[Bacon King]

Wait, wait, how the hell are you switching your vehicle registration, drivers license, voter registration, and car insurance all over to Utah when you don't even have a permanent address in the state yet? And even if Utah law for some reason allows you to do all those things by giving them your hotel address and room number or whatev, why would you go through the time (and money) to change all those things now when you'll have to update them in a couple of weeks anyway when you find an apartment?
   

[Bacon King]

BushOK: how's the weight?

Not doing too well.  I'm going to have to accept the infractions.  How long does mod review last?

Five days I think? Maybe a week.