I just signed up to have Mormon missionaries visit me at home

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

I didn't know Naso taught courses in writing style.

[© Tweed the Younger]

I didn't know Naso taught courses in writing style.

that doesn't even vaguely resemble anything Naso would write.

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

"so after the Lamanites slayed the last of the Nephites, there was no contact between God and the people of Earth until Joseph Smith 1200 years later?"...

are you high?  you seriously, seriously need to do a search of the bible (OT/NT) on the word "remnant"...you will find the above idea completely contrary to scripture, both OT and NT, for, according to the bible, there has never been a time period when God did not have a representative on earth.

[Simfan34]

This sounds lovely, almost. I can almost imagine it myself. Go ahead. Do it, Cornell. Think of Sister Smith! Think of the wonder of Mormonism, its all-American straightforwardsness! So simple, so godly! Do it!

Vosem- yes, it's Marriott. The founder was J. Willard Marriott... guess who was named after him. Maybe I'll read one next time I'm there, but I'd much rather prefer actual missionaries. Three people- all trying to save me! How noble!

[Lief]

"so after the Lamanites slayed the last of the Nephites, there was no contact between God and the people of Earth until Joseph Smith 1200 years later?"...

are you high?  you seriously, seriously need to do a search of the bible (OT/NT) on the word "remnant"...you will find the above idea completely contrary to scripture, both OT and NT, for, according to the bible, there has never been a time period when God did not have a representative on earth.

...wait, who is God's current representative on Earth?

[Simfan34]

"so after the Lamanites slayed the last of the Nephites, there was no contact between God and the people of Earth until Joseph Smith 1200 years later?"...

are you high?  you seriously, seriously need to do a search of the bible (OT/NT) on the word "remnant"...you will find the above idea completely contrary to scripture, both OT and NT, for, according to the bible, there has never been a time period when God did not have a representative on earth.

...wait, who is God's current representative on Earth?

The President receives revelations from God and to that extent is a prophet.

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

are you high?  you seriously, seriously need to do a search of the bible (OT/NT) on the word "remnant"...you will find the above idea completely contrary to scripture, both OT and NT, for, according to the bible, there has never been a time period when God did not have a representative on earth.

...wait, who is God's current representative on Earth?

those who are filled with the Spirit of Christ

[Insula Dei]

"so after the Lamanites slayed the last of the Nephites, there was no contact between God and the people of Earth until Joseph Smith 1200 years later?"...

are you high?  you seriously, seriously need to do a search of the bible (OT/NT) on the word "remnant"...you will find the above idea completely contrary to scripture, both OT and NT, for, according to the bible, there has never been a time period when God did not have a representative on earth.

...wait, who is God's current representative on Earth?

I too am surprised that jmfcst seems to recognize the supremacy and infallibility in religious matters of God's representative on earth, our Pope, Benedict XVI.

[Simfan34]

But is he? I'm not sure anymore.

[Insula Dei]

But is he? I'm not sure anymore.

Your lack of belief is troubling, yet not in itself enough to doom your eternal soul, my friend. Thankfully the Holy Catholic Church does not expect too much faith from its adherents and in fact does not consider faith in itself enough to make the cut. You should focus on good deeds if you want to save yourself from the Worm that never dies.*



*: And just imagine spending all eternity in the company of wormy.

[All life is a blur of Republicans and meat.]

Nice prose, Tweed. Bring on Part 4.

[Simfan34]

Yes! And I'm kidding, although this Mormonism sounds rather engaging. The pope is the pope.

[© Tweed the Younger]

at the end, we prayed.  they wanted me to lead the prayer.  I declined.  "I'd rather not".  I totally would rather not.  what the  would I say?  what would I say?  in that moment where the dishonest met the honest, the line blurred, the eternal transposed itself?  I won't lie, I felt a tingle, when they expressed their care for me the first time.  so what would I say?  did I care about them?  do I care about them?  am I just a cynical bitch?  let me give it a shot.  (ftr I have Christian-ish music playing as I write this.)

'dear God, reveal yourself to me.  I'm lost, I'm tired.  I have that deep, spiritual tiredness and nothing works.  nothing works anymore.  thank you for sending these people to me: I won't question their motives, it's not my place to judge, as Your son once said, at least I think he said.  not eloquent, not rehearsed, just me.  You're supposed to have made me, and love me as I am, so I'll hold You to it.  Amen.'

and they've had batted an eye or two, nothing more.  and they're limited.  and they're idiots, if we're to carry it a bit further.  and maybe you the reader sense a 'but', an inflection point, coming up here.  the reason?  Tweed can't write a thought without giving the two sides of it.  without counterposing the two possibilities, secretly hedging his position, trying to cloak it in his skill with words.

but there's only so much trickery.  you can trick men.  into Ivy League degrees.  into law school acceptance.  into paying for your food and drink.  into having sex with you.  but! and here it is.  you can't trick God.  and following from that.  you can't trick yourself into a sense of spiritual certainty.  and here it is.  if I die tonight I'm scared, scared to death, and it goes on.

[© Tweed the Younger]

I mean to make it official.  alcohol does not work for me anymore.  coffee and energy drinks only drive me to alcohol.  I have read enough, I know enough to make it true.  I plan to go to service on Sunday.  I consider myself a member of the Latter-day Saint movement: colloquially, a Mormon.

[Yelnoc]

Congratulations.  I don't believe in God, but I believe that organization can give you a sense of belonging and trick you into believing there is a higher power.  At some points in our lives, we need a higher power and a congregation of fellow believers.  So don't let others ridicule you, have your fun with Mormonism.

[So the Heroes Fall]

(ftr I have Christian-ish music playing as I write this.)

Mineral?

[Senator Napoleon]

Lol

[greenforest32]

[Simfan34]

I feel like I'm being duped. It seems to be falling together far too easily

But, obviously, the only way to sufficiently express your gratitude is to marry Sister Smith and live out the dream of Part 4- without the not buying it part. But I'm glad you may or may not have found God, even if we see him... somewhat differently.

[ModerateCoward]

He has to be trolling?

[bgwah]

Still not funny, Tweed, though it's good you're willing to try a new act I suppose.

[Lief]

I plan to go to service on Sunday.  I consider myself a member of the Latter-day Saint movement: colloquially, a Mormon.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

He has to be trolling?

not sure if he is trolling, but I am sure that I warned him.  

[Lief]

but there's only so much trickery.  you can trick men.  into Ivy League degrees.  into law school acceptance.  into paying for your food and drink.  into having sex with you.  but! and here it is.  you can't trick God.  and following from that.  you can't trick yourself into a sense of spiritual certainty.  and here it is.  if I die tonight I'm scared, scared to death, and it goes on.

I like this though, well done.

But do remember that the phrase "drink the koolaid" is literally about them poisoning you.

[So the Heroes Fall]

I actually think this is a positive development, since it means Tweed is moving toward Christ. Now he just needs to reject the Book of Mormon and LDS hierarchy and rituals and take Christ alone, and he's where he should be.

Tweed are you going to wear a tie Sunday? Or a band shirt?

I kind of have an unofficial rule that I'll never go to a church where the pastor wears a tie, which kind of eliminates me from ever going to a Mormon church. Unless of course they are doing it "ironically". Honestly if I ever was preaching I might wear a tie...but with a band shirt and torn jeans as well. And if I bothered to buy a tie and learn how to tie it as well.