I just signed up to have Mormon missionaries visit me at home

[© tweed]

and give me the Book of Mormon.  I figured they would just mail it to me for free but now it says local missionaries will contact me within a few days and set up a house visit and give me the book by hand.  should be interesting.

[dead0man]

Despite TWO "No Soliciting" signs on my front door, I still get the occasional Mormon and Girl Scout.  They don't come to your door now?

[MaxQue]

Some knocked at my door a few years ago.

They are easy to spot, he had a name tag where his name and "Église de Jésus-Christ des saints des derniers jours" were written.

I was stunned than they came in my remote area, very far from Utah (and talking a very good French, too).

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

If I ever run into them again I'm going to ask them why they don't raise their hands or dance at their church services.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

It's always good to get a free book.

[Hash]

Ask them about Moneybags Mittens.

[Teddy (IDS Legislator)]

Making fun of followers of any religion - even the stupid ones - makes God angry.

[Eraserhead]

and give me the Book of Mormon.  I figured they would just mail it to me for free but now it says local missionaries will contact me within a few days and set up a house visit and give me the book by hand.  should be interesting.

Will you offer them PBRs?

[Franzl]

If I ever run into them again I'm going to ask them why they don't raise their hands or dance at their church services.

You can ask most normal Christians that.

[Tender Branson]

Just let in the good-looking missionary-loving Mormon girls, not creepy Mitt-types.

[© tweed]

and give me the Book of Mormon.  I figured they would just mail it to me for free but now it says local missionaries will contact me within a few days and set up a house visit and give me the book by hand.  should be interesting.

Will you offer them PBRs?

no, but I decided on my first gimmick a few moments ago.  I'll have a pot of coffee on when they come in and promptly offer it to them.

[Frodo]

and give me the Book of Mormon.  I figured they would just mail it to me for free but now it says local missionaries will contact me within a few days and set up a house visit and give me the book by hand.  should be interesting.

Will you offer them PBRs?

What are PBRs?

[© tweed]

and give me the Book of Mormon.  I figured they would just mail it to me for free but now it says local missionaries will contact me within a few days and set up a house visit and give me the book by hand.  should be interesting.

Will you offer them PBRs?

What are PBRs?

seriously dude?

[Frodo]

and give me the Book of Mormon.  I figured they would just mail it to me for free but now it says local missionaries will contact me within a few days and set up a house visit and give me the book by hand.  should be interesting.

Will you offer them PBRs?

What are PBRs?

seriously dude?

Yeah, srsly.  What are they? 

[minionofmidas]

and give me the Book of Mormon.  I figured they would just mail it to me for free but now it says local missionaries will contact me within a few days and set up a house visit and give me the book by hand.  should be interesting.

Will you offer them PBRs?

What are PBRs?

seriously dude?

Yeah, srsly.  What are they? 

Pabst Blue Ribbons? Performance-based requirements? Beats me.

[© tweed]

Pabst Blue Ribbon, a cheap American lager that has had a resurgence in the past handful of years mainly on the backs of people of my demographic (people will associate it with 'hipsters' but it's broader than that and hipster verges on being a meaningless term regardless).

[Lief 🗽]

I would never allow a Mormon to step foot in my home. You're a braver man than I, Tweed.

[patrick1]

and give me the Book of Mormon.  I figured they would just mail it to me for free but now it says local missionaries will contact me within a few days and set up a house visit and give me the book by hand.  should be interesting.

Will you offer them PBRs?

What are PBRs?

seriously dude?

I'm obliged to post....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbxGgCY9PKw

[Joe Biden 2020]

I would never allow a Mormon to step foot in my home. You're a braver man than I, Tweed.

[Linus Van Pelt]

"But my Church offers a further revelation: We believe that when Jesus Christ returns to earth, He will return, not to Jerusalem, or to Baghdad, but to this great nation—and His first stop will be Jackson County, Missouri. The LDS Church teaches that the Garden of Eden itself was in Missouri! Friends, it is a marvelous vision. Some Christians profess not to like this teaching. But I ask you, where would you rather the Garden of Eden be, in the great state of Missouri or in some hellhole in the Middle East?"

[The Mikado]

I've chatted with Mormon Missionaries before.  I was polite and said that there was no way I would give up caffeine or alcohol for any God, including theirs.

[Boris]

and give me the Book of Mormon.  I figured they would just mail it to me for free but now it says local missionaries will contact me within a few days and set up a house visit and give me the book by hand.  should be interesting.

Will you offer them PBRs?

no, but I decided on my first gimmick a few moments ago.  I'll have a pot of coffee on when they come in and promptly offer it to them.

Might be a little too cliched - I'm sure they get that a lot. I think it'd be cooler to have (technically legal) drug paraphernalia lying around in plain view, but don't actually make any references to their existence.

[angus]

and give me the Book of Mormon.  I figured they would just mail it to me for free but now it says local missionaries will contact me within a few days and set up a house visit and give me the book by hand.  should be interesting.

They're getting cheap.  They used to give it out to gentiles in hardcover.  (I have one from circa 1982.  I assume it hasn't changed much since then.)  Later, I saw them and they'd only give it out in paperback.  This was when you'd see them on their bicycles.  Guys in white shirts, black ties, dress slacks and dress shoes riding bicycles.  Must be the Mormons.  Jehovah's witness fit the same description except apparently they don't ride bicycles.  But they'd give you a copy, on the street, just for the asking.  Apparently they won't even give you a paperback copy now unless you sign up for a home visit. 

[MaxQue]

Quite funnily, the only Bible we have at home is a Jehovah bible.
They were handing them out if we left them come at home to try to convert us.

The problem was than they kept coming.
And if they saw we were there but just not answering them, they stayed in front of the door.
And they came back even if we told them to not come back.

They got tired after a few weeks.


In Montreal, they distribute their "Watchtower" in the subway stations. It is easy, in the subway, if you see people handing out things, either it is the Jehovah, either the Larouchites.

[John Dibble]

Making fun of followers of any religion - even the stupid ones - makes God angry.

Really? She told me that she thinks it's hilarious.