When will BRTD's fling with Christianity convince him to read the bible?

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

the way he is going about it, I'm doubtful it will ever.

[Mechaman]

the way he is going about it, I'm doubtful it will ever.

Don't you know that all you're doing is tempting the evil demons that live inside!

Stop your judgementalism in the name of opebo Jesus!

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

it's judgmental to think BRTD has no real intention of reading and abiding by the bible?

[opebo]

Hopefully not.

[Negusa Nagast 🚀]

it's judgmental to think BRTD has no real intention of reading and abiding by the bible?

How does one abide by a self-contradicting book written in the bronze age that is at odds with most equality laws in modern society?

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

it's judgmental to think BRTD has no real intention of reading and abiding by the bible?

How does one abide by a self-contradicting book written in the bronze age that is at odds with most equality laws in modern society?

Unbeliever...
...I have been a believer for 19 ½ years...
...yet I've never met an adversary
who could offer me...
...what we Christians
would call "a biblical contradiction."
I can only hope...
...with all the world's knowledge
assembled with you...
...there might be a single point of yours
that’s up to the task.

[LastVoter]

When Naso sexes his girlfriend.

[The Mikado]

He needs some sort of "Hipster's Bible" version.  "And then Schechem screwed Dinah against her will.  His 'rents were furious with him, and his dad Hamor offered her dad Jacob some gold to compensate."

On another note, I really hate those. 

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

I'm afraid his brain would simply explode if he ever start to read the Bible. It would be just too confusing and too contradicting. Clearly, not something BRTD is used to.

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

He needs some sort of "Hipster's Bible" version.  "And then Schechem screwed Dinah against her will.  His 'rents were furious with him, and his dad Hamor offered her dad Jacob some gold to compensate."

Gen 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone with his loins; I will make a stripper for him. 19And out of the ground the LORD God formed a strip club with every animal on the ground, and every bird of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see which he would mount; and whatsoever money Adam had he threw at every living creature, til he had no more money thereof. 20And Adam had thrown money to all sheep, and to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field; but the LORD stopped Adam from using any animal as a whore. 21And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;  22And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a whore, and brought her unto the man. 23And Adam said, This is now a bone of my boner, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Whore, because she has cost me a rib. 24Therefore a man shall gird up his loins with his hoodie and say Yo, Laters! to his father and his mother, and shall slam dance with his whore: and they shall become one incoherent screaming mindless mess. 25And they were both naked in their ignorance of music, the man and his whore, but were too stupid to be ashamed.

[LastVoter]

Lolcat bible?

[Yelnoc]

it's judgmental to think BRTD has no real intention of reading and abiding by the bible?

How does one abide by a self-contradicting book written in the bronze age that is at odds with most equality laws in modern society?

Unbeliever...
...I have been a believer for 19 ½ years...
...yet I've never met an adversary
who could offer me...
...what we Christians
would call "a biblical contradiction."
I can only hope...
...with all the world's knowledge
assembled with you...
...there might be a single point of yours
that’s up to the task.

Perhaps we could have a thread in the Religious section comparing, in broad terms, the Jealous God of the Old Testament to the Loving God of the New Testament?  I have always wondered how the two are rationalized.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

When Naso sexes his girlfriend.

So he's already read it?

[LastVoter]

When Naso sexes his girlfriend.

So he's already read it?

I just assumed that Naso belonged into the 30-35% category that believes in no sex before marriage.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

When Naso sexes his girlfriend.

So he's already read it?

I just assumed that Naso belonged into the 30-35% category that believes in no sex before marriage.

Go read the ManBear Naso sex with a girl who's married to a gay guy thread...

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

Perhaps we could have a thread in the Religious section comparing, in broad terms, the Jealous God of the Old Testament to the Loving God of the New Testament?  I have always wondered how the two are rationalized.

so, you can't love someone AND be jealous for them at the same time?!

Exodus 34:14
Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.

1 Corinthians 10:21
21 You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons too; you cannot have a part in both the Lord’s table and the table of demons. 22 Are we trying to arouse the Lord’s jealousy? Are we stronger than he?

2 Corinthians 11:2
I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy

[Yelnoc]

Perhaps we could have a thread in the Religious section comparing, in broad terms, the Jealous God of the Old Testament to the Loving God of the New Testament?  I have always wondered how the two are rationalized.

so, you can't love someone AND be jealous for them at the same time?!

Exodus 34:14
Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.

1 Corinthians 10:21
21 You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons too; you cannot have a part in both the Lord’s table and the table of demons. 22 Are we trying to arouse the Lord’s jealousy? Are we stronger than he?

2 Corinthians 11:2
I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy

No, that's not what I was saying.  But there is the God who assisted the slaughter of thousands of Caananites and then a few thousand years later, lets his one and only son die at the hands of the Romans to satisfy a jeering crowd (and save any man who confesses his sins and accepts Jesus as his savior, yes?).

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

No, that's not what I was saying.  But there is the God who assisted the slaughter of thousands of Caananites and then a few thousand years later, lets his one and only son die at the hands of the Romans to satisfy a jeering crowd (and save any man who confesses his sins and accepts Jesus as his savior, yes?).

the slaughter of the un-chosen in the OT is a foreshadowing of the Eternal Judgment to come, which is spoken about in both the OT and NT.  And that Eternal Judgment, spoken of in both the OT and NT, will make the slaughter of the Canaanites infinitely trivial.

[Yelnoc]

No, that's not what I was saying.  But there is the God who assisted the slaughter of thousands of Caananites and then a few thousand years later, lets his one and only son die at the hands of the Romans to satisfy a jeering crowd (and save any man who confesses his sins and accepts Jesus as his savior, yes?).

the slaughter of the un-chosen in the OT is a foreshadowing of the Eternal Judgment to come, which is spoken about in both the OT and NT.  And that Eternal Judgment, spoken of in both the OT and NT, will make the slaughter of the Canaanites infinitely trivial.

So God doesn't care so much for the little details (individuals) as he does for the bigger pictures (his chosen people(s))?

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Do you mean read the whole thing start to finish? Because I have been reading a lot in the Gospels and as mentioned earlier jmfcst I was doing a lot of study on it as part of a church plant launch group. Incidentally they had their first meeting on Sunday which I was part of the volunteer team for, I helped set up and clean up (which mean hauling around a lot of cinder blocks) and was the guy greeting and handing out programs at one of the entrances. That's how big I am into serving God now. The sermon of course involved the Bible, talking about how Jacob's dream and God's promise that "I am with you" in Genesis 28 applies to everyone there and how God is with us all even if you are an outcast for being gay or never thought you would go to church and can't believe you went to that one or were hurt by your church, etc.

Anyway jmfcst what do you think has made me decide to be rebaptized after 28 years? Where do you think I got the idea?

He needs some sort of "Hipster's Bible" version.  "And then Schechem screwed Dinah against her will.  His 'rents were furious with him, and his dad Hamor offered her dad Jacob some gold to compensate."

On another note, I really hate those. 

Already got one. The aforementioned church is giving them out for free:

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

For Heaven's sake, just get an NRSV Oxford Annotated or something, the both of you.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

For Heaven's sake, just get an NRSV Oxford Annotated or something, the both of you.

Do you not like the New Living Translation? My main church usually uses it too, and it flows pretty well, it's good for if you just want people to think about what's covered and how the sermon relates.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

For Heaven's sake, just get an NRSV Oxford Annotated or something, the both of you.

Do you not like the New Living Translation? My main church usually uses it too, and it flows pretty well, it's good for if you just want people to think about what's covered and how the sermon relates.

My church still uses the 1611 King James. I don't object to more lucid modern translations--there's not been a translation of the Bible into English yet that does not leave me wishing for further English translation--but the NLV isn't one of my favorites, since I think that there should at least be a moderately higher cadence to Bibles than to other books. It doesn't have to be too high, but I have a sort of cognitive dissonance with NLV, like I'm hardly reading a religious book at all. I don't like that. I understand why people in your church use it, but my personal feelings towards it just aren't particularly warm.