Office of Senator Pingvin (Fed-TX)

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

We must rise above partisan politics if we are to heal the racial divide, not reopen old wounds, and give a new generation of immigrants their fair chance to live the Atlasian Dream.

Immigration hurts economy, immigration hurts law and order, immigration hurts our culture heritage.

These statements contradict each other, Legislator Pingvin! Please explain what you really believe on immigration.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Mr. Pingvin, what's your opinion on the Tweed reforms?

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

You can say same about Tweed.

Why are people supporting this commie? I don't even mean to be hypebolic. This guy literally supports communist parties all over the world.

You yourself support the BNP, which is far worse.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

I know he is a hell of a damned fool, but that is just the sort of person the Senate needs right now to stir up debate over things others wouldn't dare discuss.

That is an utterly lowest common denominator, populist (in the worst sense of the term), midless excuse of a reason to justify straight ticket voting. You are a better man then that,Yank; this poor argument is beneath you.

Sometimes the truth isn't the convenient answer you want it to be. I had no plans to vote straight ticket. I went in, copy and pasted the ballot into notepad and made several different preference schedules. The first one had Andrew at the top of the ballot.

What the Senate needs is disagreement on issues to spur debate and activity. As I have said before, as a game you can't approach people (even those you find disgusting) with a slash and burn mentality. Sometimes you need to make decisions to artificially spur the game and that means you don't do things the way you normally would in a real life election.

If you don't like it, that is too bad, Badger.

I think you should run for President, Sen. Yankee.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Many got a question: what is the difference between Liberal and Labour parties?
And I got an answer: class background of the voters.
Main base of the liberal voters is a typical middle-class families from the urban neighbourhoods. For example, Simpsons. I'd say that even with Homer anti-tax and pro-gun stances, Lisa's enviromentalism and social radicalism, they're typical Liberal voters.
They're pretty much selfish and they're not welfare recipents - they just want a better healthcare and education for Bart, Lisa and Maggie.

Main base of Labour voters are Spucklers and Insane cat-throwing lady. Brandine is a typical welfare queen - she and her family would vote for anyone who will promise them fish - and they will get offended when somebody would say: "And why you're not gonna take fishing rod?"

Think about it.

It was a Pingvin Report, thank you and good bye!

You're trying to be like this, right?

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

I echo Sam's and Cath's positions. Every post I see from you intensifies my deep, deep hatred.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

SHORT PLATFORM

- Constitutional Amendment to outlaw abortion
- Opposition to animal rights, but opposition to animal cruelty.
- Non-interventionist, anti-imperialist foreign policy
- Re-introduction of death penalty for serious crimes
- Introduce a federal public smoking ban
- Support for school choice and homeschooling; introduction of voucher system
- Opposition to euthanasia
- Support right to bear arms
- Constitutional Amendment to define marriage as one man and one woman
- Opposition to "political correctness" and "Fairness Doctrine" in media
- Support for private healthcare; opposition to nationalisation of this sphere
- Opposition to conscription; support deep defense cuts
- Introduction of 15% flat tax
- Pass real financial reform (bring back Glass–Steagall Act and end "too big to fail")
- Abolish the Federal Reserve
- Re-introduction of gold standard
- Privatisation of Social Security
- Promote organic agriculture and a safe food supply; end subsidies that pay farmers not to grow crops
- COMPLETE BAN ON IMMIGRATION
- Ban on burqas, mosques and minarets
- Protect the environment (clean water, air, land) and preserve and expand national parks and wildlife preserves
- Harsher penalties for gun and weapons crimes
- Give local law enforcement and fire companies the funds they need for security and emergency prevention & response
- Use natural gas as a bridge fuel until renewable energy is more plentiful with regulations to protect from fracking
- Require oil and gas companies to contribute to a special emergency/spill/cleanup fund
- Require environmental impact assessments before approval for drilling for oil and natural gas
- Stricter regulations of private campaign financing
- More free trade agreements
- Encourage the purchase of American-made goods
- End corporate special interest/lobbyist influence over elections and the legislative process.
- Strict term limits for Senators, Regional Legislators and Supreme Court judges
- Encourage the teaching of Atlasian history, culture and traditions at schools
- Introduce a federal "Right-To-Work" law
- Ban on stem cell research
- Opposition to Atlasian membership in UN and NATO

OK, I don't hate all of your positions, but what is your beef with Muslims and foreigners? I mean, seriously, are you a neo-Nazi?

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

What if I banned churches because some Christians kill people? There are plenty of good, normal Muslims and it's an unconstitutional denial of their basic rights to effectively ban them from worshipping as they please.

Also, why the moratorium on immigration.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

What's your beef with immigrants?

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

TV AD:
Pingvin with AK-47 and sword on the horse leads army of the zombies in the Kaiserreich uniform at White House. The Trooper plays ab the background
Male Voice: Join the fight for your liberty today. Pingvin for President

FACE EXPLOSION.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

If elected, will you continue to host the Pingvin Report? I like that show.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

OH S**T!

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

OH S**T!

Hey, calm down. After the stuff I went IRL during the absence from AF, I will be much better person to all, I promise.

What are you planning to do?

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

So is the fight between me and you now? It'll be just like old times.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

I assure Mr. Pingvin that the FNR wants nothing to do with him and is only seeking independence for the Northeast.