10 years since I came out to my family

[afleitch]

I thought I'd just take a moment because I had almost forgotten.

I feel so damn lucky that I sometimes think it is unfair. I knew I was gay from a young age and accepted it. Job done. I came out to my friends at 16. No problem. All I had to do was come out to my family. I was 17, in my last year of school, no job and lived at home. My parents had never been homophobic, it had never been something I was exposed to in my family but there was always a fear that if it was their son it could have been different. I had planned ahead. I had chosen and been invited (but had not accepted) to attend university in Edinburgh. I could stay there in halls of residence for four years if I had to get away. Just in case of course because I didn't know what the reaction would be. I was so scared, but I've always been opinionated. I've always said how I feel and why on earth shold it be any different.

I remember telling my mum first. She clammed up probably for about a week. She probably won't remember but she did and it hurt. My dad was excellent. My brothers and sister were fantastic too. I know my mum didn't want to react the way she did, I know that. There are perhaps things that mums need to sort out that no one can understand but it was the first time in my life that I felt there was a distance between us. It got better after a short time and we've been very close since. She's been so welcoming as has the whole family, first to Chris and now with Michael.

If you are gay for the sake of your wellbeing you have to come out. You have to take the step to make peace with yourself if conflicted and then to tell people you love. I know someone who have lost parents because they came out. He has a wonderful partner and shares his family and his parents. He has the most kind friends you could imagine. His parents are now trying to make amends not out of realisation but out of embarrasment; because they said what they did at a dinner party and received a hammering from the guests.

Families are made. If they are broken they can be re-made. Hiding who you are will eat you up inside and trust me there are more people who will welcome you than will condemn. If people condemn don't surround yourself with them. Surround yourself with love and friendship.

[Inks.LWC Supports Chuck Hagel]

You're luck to have a supportive family.  One of my friends here at school was talking to me the other day about having a really bad day (she'd been denied to the grad school she wanted and whole bunch of stuff with school happened in the same day), and when she called her mom to tell her, as she hung up, her mom told her, "I love you" for the first time she came out a little over 2 years ago.

[King]

Inb4 anti-pro-heterosexual joke.

[Inks.LWC Supports Chuck Hagel]

Inb4 anti-pro-heterosexual joke.

I've inadvertently started my own meme... how lovely. :/

[JulioMadrid]

I have a huge problem. People think I'm gay because 2 of my 5 best friends are: one being lesbian and the other being a closeted gay, who everybody knows/thinks is gay. What's the problem, then? I KNOW he's gay, he's told me that. But, as we are always together on weekends... people don't stop asking me if I'm gay and they even tell me to have caution with Txema, because they think he's gay. Even my mother, who's a commie, told me that! I'm tired of homophobic people ¬¬

and the 3rd one (my best friend).. has never talked about sexuality and I think he's gay (but I don't have the guts to ask him). What should I do? Ask him? Shut up? =S

[angus]

I thought I'd just take a moment because I had almost forgotten.

.............

What an attention whore!

Oh, well, I haven't even told my family yet that I'm a Republican, so maybe you're a better man than I am.

[Mr. Taft Republican]

Congrats! You're lucky to have a supportive family, I know a guy that takes all kinds of sh*t from there parents, unfortunate.

and the 3rd one (my best friend).. has never talked about sexuality and I think he's gay (but I don't have the guts to ask him). What should I do? Ask him? Shut up? =S

Don't be that guy, let it be.

[Proud Lieberal from Northeast]

Inb4 anti-pro-heterosexual joke.

I've inadvertently started my own meme... how lovely. :/

Inks legacy lives on!

[Gustaf]

I also think that it's better to do it, even if the parents wouldn't take it that well. That is, based on the stories from people I know who did it to conservative parents.

[Odysseus]

Not being 'out' is pretty much the worst, most stressed out feeling I've ever had. So coming out to my parents and them being like "oh okay cool whatever" was awesome.

Yeah all you LGBT people go and come out.

Also congrats afleitch!

Inb4 anti-pro-heterosexual joke.

I've inadvertently started my own meme... how lovely. :/

Inks legacy lives on!

[Pacific Councillor Big Wiggly Style]

Congrats on coming out! It's always tough, but it's great to have such a supportive family

[Torie]

Well said afleitch. And it takes courage, which is just so essential to living the "good," and fulfilling life, with meaning, and one of the two virtues that I hold most dear, along with honesty.

[ModerateCoward]

I thought I'd just take a moment because I had almost forgotten.

.............

What an attention whore!

Oh, well, I haven't even told my family yet that I'm a Republican, so maybe you're a better man than I am.

Well I haven't told my family that I smoke weed...

[opebo]

Well, I'm not really 'out' as a sociopath except to my close friends, so I can relate.

[© Tweed the Younger]

Well, I'm not really 'out' as a sociopath except to my close friends, so I can relate.

you're a relentless mofo.

[Hatman]

If my daughter turns out to be gay, I would be very happy that this gay child has fallen in a family that will be supportive of her, and not in one that isn't.

I always wondered if my parents thought I was gay, since I didn't really start having girlfriends until my early 20s. That, and my love of Kylie Minogue, ABBA and Madonna. I know they'd be okay with it, my Mom had a gay neighbour growing up (who was a floweriest that provided Pierre Trudeau with his signature roses), and until one of them died a couple of years ago, my parents had an elderly gay couple living across the street that my parents were good friends with.