Can some one please explain something for me...

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For an old conservative living in the South- I believe I am progressive for gay rights. I support gay marriage and adoption since it provides alternative for abortion, I was ok with the repeal of Dont Ask Dont Tell- I belive some one is born gay and cannot change it

What I do NOT understand is cross dressers and why there is a push to give them rights as if they were born that way. No one wakes up an intentionally is attacted to men, but people choose what clothes to put on in the morning- drag queens are doing so because they choose to, so why the hell does anyone want to let them go into a womans bathroom?

I am not trying to sound like a jackass- I dont want to be ignorant but I want to understand this subject... do people believe cross dressers cant help but do that or is it something else?

I don't think you "sound like a jackass."  I think there are a small population of people in this country that have legitimate issues and concerns and a large population of people that just like to stir stuff up.

Merely having conservative values and common sense does not make you a bigot.  Most of the planet has conservative values to some degree.  I for one am not on board with allowing cross dressing everywhere and coed bathrooms.  At many work sites (ie Walmart) everyone regardless of gender wears slacks and a collared shirt.  No skirts and no blouses.  Their lives don't end.  The scrubs in a hospital are identical for women and men.  Scrub pants and scrub shirt.  No skirts and no blouses.  Nurses don't commit mass suicide from depression.  And trust me those scrubs are NOT flattering.

Someone that says they are incapable of typing a TPS report because they are wearing pants is coocoo.

Every single thing in society doesn't have to be debated.  When I go to work I leave many of my "rights" at the door.  We conform to have a cohesive work place and get stuff done.  We don't all go around expressing our individual quirks and demand to be accepted.  I work with some very conservative people.  I don't discuss politics even when I think someone is saying something inappropriate.  Many of my coworkers think I'm friends with them.  I'm not.  I just fake it to keep a civil work place and after work I associate with people more to my liking.

As far as the non work environment is concerned.  Well that's kind of up to the individual mostly.  Just be prepared for some blow back if you are a 180 lb hairy guy walking around in high heels.  I don't go driving through the back woods of Mississippi in a prius discussing gay rights with the locals at local honky tonk bars.  I have a right to but it would seem like an incredibly dumb thing to do.

I think women want their own space.  I don't think when women go to a ladies' room they are thinking, "what would make this place even better is some dude whipping his [censored] out and [censored] all over the seat."  I think a woman on her period who has an "accident" isn't going to want to run to a restroom full of dudes.  I think we should just give the ladies there space and leave it at that.

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Clarence,
I'm glad to see that you are trying to understand this complicated issue. I think Nathan really hit the nail with this his posts.  I wanted to add that in medical school I did a psychiatry rotation where I got to interview some transgendered patients and have a lecture on sexuality, including transgenderism. What I learned, which is such poorly understood and in my opinion very sad, is that these individuals feel like they are a woman trapped in a mans body (or vice-avers). Most people psychologically understand and accept their sex around age three and begin to play into and fall into expected social roles.  For the individuals that you are questioning, they "accept" the gender that is counter to their, for lack of a better term, genetics. These individuals often struggle through childhood and adulthood not being able to formulate a complete sense of self because of their own confusion about their sex. This confusion often manifests its self in depression and psychological distress.  The patients I spoke to told me that it was like "being trapped in someone else's body with no means of escape".  The transgendered people I have had the opportunity to interview in my rotations honestly fell like they have been born into the wrong body, and when they look in the mirror they either do not see themselves or they see someone of the of the sex that they psychologically perceive themselves to be looking back at them. I would like to stress that the people you seem to be asking about to not choose their lives, rather all evidence seems to suggest that there is a combination of underlying genetic, environmental and societal factors influencing their lives. These are just my observations, and please take them for what they are worth: a medical student who has had a couple semesters doing rotations in various psychiatric institutions. 

As for the issue you presented with allowing them to use the bathroom of their choice, I agree its a complicated issue. I can see arguments for both sides of this issue, and I guess the argument essentially comes down to the psychology of a person's sex verses the physical characteristics that are associated with sex.  I hope that this post helped you understand the issue a little bit better, and again props to Nathan for his post. 

Having gone to medical school you've spent a lot of time in hospitals and operating rooms in particular where EVERYBODY dresses the same.  There is no loss of gender identity or "depression."  An irrational fixation on clothing I would think is indicative of other psychological issues.  If a man wishes to dress in a skirt and blouse in their free time that is there business.  But even in normal work places women are barred from wearing this type of attire and it doesn't cause them to feel like they are "a woman trapped in a man's body."  Sure some of them complain but they live.

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Let them dress how they want...

Unfortunately in a lot of work environments no one gets to "dress how they want."  They dress all men and women the same.  And believe it or not no one dies.

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Clarence,
I'm glad to see that you are trying to understand this complicated issue. I think Nathan really hit the nail with this his posts.  I wanted to add that in medical school I did a psychiatry rotation where I got to interview some transgendered patients and have a lecture on sexuality, including transgenderism. What I learned, which is such poorly understood and in my opinion very sad, is that these individuals feel like they are a woman trapped in a mans body (or vice-avers). Most people psychologically understand and accept their sex around age three and begin to play into and fall into expected social roles.  For the individuals that you are questioning, they "accept" the gender that is counter to their, for lack of a better term, genetics. These individuals often struggle through childhood and adulthood not being able to formulate a complete sense of self because of their own confusion about their sex. This confusion often manifests its self in depression and psychological distress.  The patients I spoke to told me that it was like "being trapped in someone else's body with no means of escape".  The transgendered people I have had the opportunity to interview in my rotations honestly fell like they have been born into the wrong body, and when they look in the mirror they either do not see themselves or they see someone of the of the sex that they psychologically perceive themselves to be looking back at them. I would like to stress that the people you seem to be asking about to not choose their lives, rather all evidence seems to suggest that there is a combination of underlying genetic, environmental and societal factors influencing their lives. These are just my observations, and please take them for what they are worth: a medical student who has had a couple semesters doing rotations in various psychiatric institutions. 

As for the issue you presented with allowing them to use the bathroom of their choice, I agree its a complicated issue. I can see arguments for both sides of this issue, and I guess the argument essentially comes down to the psychology of a person's sex verses the physical characteristics that are associated with sex.  I hope that this post helped you understand the issue a little bit better, and again props to Nathan for his post. 

Having gone to medical school you've spent a lot of time in hospitals and operating rooms in particular where EVERYBODY dresses the same.  There is no loss of gender identity or "depression."  An irrational fixation on clothing I would think is indicative of other psychological issues.  If a man wishes to dress in a skirt and blouse in their free time that is there business.  But even in normal work places women are barred from wearing this type of attire and it doesn't cause them to feel like they are "a woman trapped in a man's body."  Sure some of them complain but they live.

What you said is true, but as you said the type of attire and it doesn't cause people to feel like they are "a woman trapped in a man's body. My point, rather, was to state that there are underlying genetic, environmental, and psychosocial factors, out of a persons control, that cause a person to truly fell like they were born into the wrong body.  The clothes that they chose to wear are just one "side effect" of these underlying factors, not a cause of of their depression or "trapped feelings". And, certainly as you point out many of these individuals also have other underlying psychological issues.

I think it is an area the definitely needs more study and our sensitivity.  But we have to have some rules as a society.  We can't accomodate every wish or desire no matter the basis (genetic, psychological, etc).  The tough part is where do you draw the line.  If my mom was in a public restroom she really wouldn't feel comforable with a 200lb hairy guy wearing a wig make up and high heels coming in.  So who's emotions should we protect?

If the guy was a post op transgender girl and looked like a girl then there really wouldn't be an issue if she/he went to the women's room.  I think it is a case by case basis taking all parties' emotions and mental health into account.