Should Andrew Jackson be celebrated on U.S. currency?

[angus]

Andrew Jackson is okay, but I'd prefer Michael Jackson.

[angus]

Well, we could always incorporate corn kernels and oil barrels on our currency:



These and other lulzy ideas for currency redesign located here.

Dude, those look like food coupons.  You know, the kind that skanky single welfare mothers, with rugrats in tow, generally bring into the store and use to buy, like, a piece of bubble gum.  They buy pieces of gum, one at a time, which cost five cents, and pay for it with a dollar food coupon so they can get 95 cents back.  If they do it four times, they'll have $3.80 in coin, which they can use to buy a pack of Marlboros.  It's actually pretty clever, if you ask me.

Anyway, I don't think we want our currency to look like food coupons.

[angus]

Alexander Hamilton ($10 guy): Was an elitist dick, was a bad shot, probably did kill (a few) Indians.

Also, he was a homosexual.

Let's not forget the coins:

1c Lincoln:  suspension of habeus corpus, killed injuns, etc.
5c Jefferson:  slaveowner, flute player, elitist
10c Roosevelt:  appeaser of Hitler, Keynesian, helped co-opt a brutal revolt in Spain
25c Washington:  slaveowner, injun killer, wearer of wooden teeth
50c Kennedy:  elitist, sexually aggressive to the point of a national distraction, warmonger
$1 Eisenhower:  his favorite colors were pink and green

We should replace them all with celebrities.  I'd go with:

1c:  Elvis Presley, the King of Rock and Roll
5c:  Michael Jackson, the King of Pop
10c:  Howard Stern, the King of all media
25c:  Barry Bonds, the Home Run King
50c:  Kevin James, the King of Queens
$1:  Hank, King of the Hill

[angus]