Tweed for President 06/12 campaign HQ

[© Tweed the Younger]

here it is.  for fictional purposes allow us to imagine my campaign is headquartered in the back store room of Juan Deli Grocery, 13002 Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn, NY (photo currently unavailable).


in this Thread I will, over time, flesh out my platform, as well as other miscellaneous and potential irrelevant thoughts.


non-supporters and supporters alike are free to ask the candidate any question, but please keep discussion amongst each other to a minimum as we're in violation of zoning law, and if the cops hear a lot of voices coming from Juan Deli we're liable to get busted.

[asexual trans victimologist]

I looked it up on Google Maps, and it's in Queens.

[© Tweed the Younger]

I looked it up on Google Maps, and it's in Queens.

as such, we open with a gaffe.

[Χahar]

It's right next to Phil Rizzuto Park. How do you feel about your campaign's association with a Yankee?

[bgwah]

When will you announce me as your running mate?

[© Tweed the Younger]

It's right next to Phil Rizzuto Park. How do you feel about your campaign's association with a Yankee?

the official position of the CPoA-M-L-T is to view all capital-sponsored sport as a means of diverting the pent up revolutionary and sexual energy of the proletariat away from threatening the regeneration of the means of production.  it is thus unworthy of comment.

When will you announce me as your running mate?

good question.  as I stated in my campaign kickoff thread, but this probably bears re-stating, all members of the Community are encourage to display interest in serving as my running mate via private message.

[© Tweed the Younger]

'ah, also.  my official campaign theme song is "...My Nine Rides Shotgun" by Long Island's own, Brand New:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZmHf5mWD4I

This has happened before
I'm sure
And it'll happen again
It's getting old
And you never know
It's not the first time
She said it's the last time...again

And you're a tease

Have fun overseas
No I'm kidding

Give it some time
And take my advice
see all these scars on me?
I'm just marking marking territory
But I know a million girls would kill to be you right now

Give me one night inside of your thighs
A million girls would kill to be you right now

And it's happened before
And it'll happen again!

When your boyfriend comes home
I suggest he keeps you terribly close
And you never know
Wouldn't be the first time
Don't think this will ever end

Know you're a tease

Have fun studying abroad
No I'm kidding

Give it some time
take my advice
see all these these scars on me?
I'm just marking territory
But I know a million girls would kill to be you right now

Give me one night inside of your thighs
A million girls would kill to be you right now

And it's happened before
And it will happen again

<largely unintelligible outro>

this will be played on a repeat loop throughout all of my speeches in the hopes of minimizing my gaffes.  much like the blender in Naso's YouTube video.

[Diabolical Minds Think Alike]

Brand New kicks ass.

[bgwah]

It's right next to Phil Rizzuto Park. How do you feel about your campaign's association with a Yankee?

the official position of the CPoA-M-L-T is to view all capital-sponsored sport as a means of diverting the pent up revolutionary and sexual energy of the proletariat away from threatening the regeneration of the means of production.  it is thus unworthy of comment.

When will you announce me as your running mate?

good question.  as I stated in my campaign kickoff thread, but this probably bears re-stating, all members of the Community are encourage to display interest in serving as my running mate via private message.

I will only apply in public, as I believe in transparency, not shadowy backroom deals.

[© Tweed the Younger]

in that case you will not be considered.  and besides your belief in this silly liberal 'transparency' is an anachronism.  when I am elected everything will be done in private, including but not limited to signing death warrants, defecation, eating low-carb cereal, sporting events, conferences with international drug kingpins (Atlasia will be converted to a narco-state), and your ghost-writing of my autobiography at gunpoint while I watch Seinfeld re-runs on state television.

[Ѕenator Αverroës]

Q: What makes you think that this electoral charade will do anything to aid the exploited and the oppressed?

[bgwah]

in that case you will not be considered.  and besides your belief in this silly liberal 'transparency' is an anachronism.  when I am elected everything will be done in private, including but not limited to signing death warrants, defecation, eating low-carb cereal, sporting events, conferences with international drug kingpins (Atlasia will be converted to a narco-state), and your ghost-writing of my autobiography at gunpoint while I watch Seinfeld re-runs on state television.

In that case, the Earth Liberation Front anti-endorses the Bourgeois Ivy League Suburban Long Islander Party Communist Party candidate..

[Χahar]

Why Seinfeld, specifically?

[© Tweed the Younger]

Young Tweed answers questions and provides his campaign mission statement in this first video of the campaign.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFFwAhKPsX0

WARNING: extensive use of profanity

[Diabolical Minds Think Alike]

Young Tweed answers questions and provides his campaign mission statement in this first video of the campaign.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFFwAhKPsX0

WARNING: extensive use of profanity

I love you.

[Diabolical Minds Think Alike]

Just FTR, my response:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvUtwuVHsmo

This may be the first time I've ever posted something with me talking...

[bgwah]

Young Tweed answers questions and provides his campaign mission statement in this first video of the campaign.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFFwAhKPsX0

WARNING: extensive use of profanity

This is why you need Atlasia's original troll as your running mate.

[LINCOLN REPUBLICAN]

I can be bought.

What are you offering?

[© Tweed the Younger]

very excited to announce that bgwah will serve as my vice presidential candidate for the June 2012 election cycle.  here is my speech.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaUYoIMI5kM&feature=youtu.be


WARNING: use of adult language.

[greenforest32]

That beard doesn't suit you Tweed

You should shave

[Governor Scott]

Tweed swears way too f**kin' much.

[Diabolical Minds Think Alike]

Can we get a video from Bgwah?

[Diabolical Minds Think Alike]

Seriously though, the rant you went on about Mikado and Bgwah and everyone that doesn't post pictures...I died.

[Yelnoc]

Seriously though, the rant you went on about Mikado and Bgwah and everyone that doesn't post pictures...I died.

I was in the chat when he was talking to Mikado about this (where he got that material from).  I can't fault someone for not wanting to give out personal info on a site like this.  I know I, for one, have posted enough stupid sh**t that connected this particular internet persona with the real me would be...awkward.  But each to his own, eh Tweed?

[bgwah]

Brilliant speech, comrade. I'm honored to serve as your running mate.