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| | |-+  Tweed for President 06/12 campaign HQ
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Author Topic: Tweed for President 06/12 campaign HQ  (Read 7383 times)
© tweed
Miamiu1027
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« on: February 24, 2012, 01:53:19 pm »
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here it is.  for fictional purposes allow us to imagine my campaign is headquartered in the back store room of Juan Deli Grocery, 13002 Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn, NY (photo currently unavailable).


in this Thread I will, over time, flesh out my platform, as well as other miscellaneous and potential irrelevant thoughts.


non-supporters and supporters alike are free to ask the candidate any question, but please keep discussion amongst each other to a minimum as we're in violation of zoning law, and if the cops hear a lot of voices coming from Juan Deli we're liable to get busted.

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in a mirror, dimly lit
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Nathan
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« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2012, 02:47:37 pm »
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I looked it up on Google Maps, and it's in Queens.
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A shameless agrarian collectivist with no respect for private property or individual rights.

His idea of freedom is - it is a bad thing and should be stopped at all costs.

Nathan-land.  As much fun as watching paint dry... literally.
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Miamiu1027
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« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2012, 03:18:33 pm »
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I looked it up on Google Maps, and it's in Queens.

as such, we open with a gaffe.
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Хahar
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« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2012, 05:59:31 pm »
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It's right next to Phil Rizzuto Park. How do you feel about your campaign's association with a Yankee?
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The idea of parodying the preceding Atlasian's postings is laughable, of course, but not for reasons one might expect.
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« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2012, 07:50:31 pm »
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When will you announce me as your running mate?
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© tweed
Miamiu1027
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« Reply #5 on: February 24, 2012, 10:11:32 pm »
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It's right next to Phil Rizzuto Park. How do you feel about your campaign's association with a Yankee?

the official position of the CPoA-M-L-T is to view all capital-sponsored sport as a means of diverting the pent up revolutionary and sexual energy of the proletariat away from threatening the regeneration of the means of production.  it is thus unworthy of comment.

When will you announce me as your running mate?

good question.  as I stated in my campaign kickoff thread, but this probably bears re-stating, all members of the Community are encourage to display interest in serving as my running mate via private message.
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© tweed
Miamiu1027
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« Reply #6 on: February 24, 2012, 10:18:28 pm »
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'ah, also.  my official campaign theme song is "...My Nine Rides Shotgun" by Long Island's own, Brand New:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZmHf5mWD4I

This has happened before
I'm sure
And it'll happen again
It's getting old
And you never know
It's not the first time
She said it's the last time...again

And you're a tease

Have fun overseas
No I'm kidding

Give it some time
And take my advice
see all these scars on me?
I'm just marking marking territory
But I know a million girls would kill to be you right now

Give me one night inside of your thighs
A million girls would kill to be you right now

And it's happened before
And it'll happen again!

When your boyfriend comes home
I suggest he keeps you terribly close
And you never know
Wouldn't be the first time
Don't think this will ever end

Know you're a tease

Have fun studying abroad
No I'm kidding

Give it some time
take my advice
see all these these scars on me?
I'm just marking territory
But I know a million girls would kill to be you right now

Give me one night inside of your thighs
A million girls would kill to be you right now

And it's happened before
And it will happen again

<largely unintelligible outro>


this will be played on a repeat loop throughout all of my speeches in the hopes of minimizing my gaffes.  much like the blender in Naso's YouTube video.
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« Reply #7 on: February 24, 2012, 10:21:35 pm »
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Brand New kicks ass.
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i like girls but there is NOTHING better then a sexi hott dude
bgwah
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« Reply #8 on: February 24, 2012, 10:23:37 pm »
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It's right next to Phil Rizzuto Park. How do you feel about your campaign's association with a Yankee?

the official position of the CPoA-M-L-T is to view all capital-sponsored sport as a means of diverting the pent up revolutionary and sexual energy of the proletariat away from threatening the regeneration of the means of production.  it is thus unworthy of comment.

When will you announce me as your running mate?

good question.  as I stated in my campaign kickoff thread, but this probably bears re-stating, all members of the Community are encourage to display interest in serving as my running mate via private message.

I will only apply in public, as I believe in transparency, not shadowy backroom deals.
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© tweed
Miamiu1027
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« Reply #9 on: February 24, 2012, 10:27:12 pm »
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in that case you will not be considered.  and besides your belief in this silly liberal 'transparency' is an anachronism.  when I am elected everything will be done in private, including but not limited to signing death warrants, defecation, eating low-carb cereal, sporting events, conferences with international drug kingpins (Atlasia will be converted to a narco-state), and your ghost-writing of my autobiography at gunpoint while I watch Seinfeld re-runs on state television.
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АverroŽs Nix
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« Reply #10 on: February 24, 2012, 10:48:36 pm »
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Q: What makes you think that this electoral charade will do anything to aid the exploited and the oppressed?
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PS: I am using my late mother's Facebook account due to the difficulty of changing identities on Facebook. She has yet to complain.
bgwah
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« Reply #11 on: February 24, 2012, 11:34:28 pm »
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in that case you will not be considered.  and besides your belief in this silly liberal 'transparency' is an anachronism.  when I am elected everything will be done in private, including but not limited to signing death warrants, defecation, eating low-carb cereal, sporting events, conferences with international drug kingpins (Atlasia will be converted to a narco-state), and your ghost-writing of my autobiography at gunpoint while I watch Seinfeld re-runs on state television.

In that case, the Earth Liberation Front anti-endorses the Bourgeois Ivy League Suburban Long Islander Party Communist Party candidate..
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Хahar
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« Reply #12 on: February 25, 2012, 02:12:44 am »
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Why Seinfeld, specifically?
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The idea of parodying the preceding Atlasian's postings is laughable, of course, but not for reasons one might expect.
© tweed
Miamiu1027
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« Reply #13 on: February 25, 2012, 01:08:19 pm »
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Young Tweed answers questions and provides his campaign mission statement in this first video of the campaign.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFFwAhKPsX0

WARNING: extensive use of profanity
« Last Edit: February 25, 2012, 01:14:15 pm by © Boss Tweed »Logged

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R2D2
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« Reply #14 on: February 25, 2012, 01:25:52 pm »
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Young Tweed answers questions and provides his campaign mission statement in this first video of the campaign.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFFwAhKPsX0

WARNING: extensive use of profanity

I love you.
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i like girls but there is NOTHING better then a sexi hott dude
R2D2
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« Reply #15 on: February 25, 2012, 01:46:08 pm »
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Just FTR, my response:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvUtwuVHsmo

This may be the first time I've ever posted something with me talking...
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i like girls but there is NOTHING better then a sexi hott dude
bgwah
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« Reply #16 on: February 25, 2012, 04:04:04 pm »
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Young Tweed answers questions and provides his campaign mission statement in this first video of the campaign.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFFwAhKPsX0

WARNING: extensive use of profanity

This is why you need Atlasia's original troll as your running mate.
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« Reply #17 on: February 25, 2012, 04:21:07 pm »
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I can be bought.

What are you offering?
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© tweed
Miamiu1027
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« Reply #18 on: February 25, 2012, 07:12:45 pm »
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very excited to announce that bgwah will serve as my vice presidential candidate for the June 2012 election cycle.  here is my speech.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaUYoIMI5kM&feature=youtu.be


WARNING: use of adult language.
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greenforest32
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« Reply #19 on: February 25, 2012, 07:27:01 pm »
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That beard doesn't suit you Tweed

You should shave
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Scott
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« Reply #20 on: February 25, 2012, 07:27:54 pm »
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Tweed swears way too f**kin' much. Tongue
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R2D2
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« Reply #21 on: February 25, 2012, 07:49:26 pm »
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Can we get a video from Bgwah? Tongue
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i like girls but there is NOTHING better then a sexi hott dude
R2D2
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« Reply #22 on: February 25, 2012, 07:52:34 pm »
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Seriously though, the rant you went on about Mikado and Bgwah and everyone that doesn't post pictures...I died.
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« Reply #23 on: February 25, 2012, 08:28:03 pm »
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Seriously though, the rant you went on about Mikado and Bgwah and everyone that doesn't post pictures...I died.
I was in the chat when he was talking to Mikado about this (where he got that material from).  I can't fault someone for not wanting to give out personal info on a site like this.  I know I, for one, have posted enough stupid sh**t that connected this particular internet persona with the real me would be...awkward.  But each to his own, eh Tweed?
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bgwah
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« Reply #24 on: February 25, 2012, 09:34:34 pm »
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Brilliant speech, comrade. I'm honored to serve as your running mate.
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