New Breeding Program Aimed At Keeping Moderate Republicans From Going Extinct

[Judäischen Volksfront]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-breeding-program-aimed-at-keeping-moderate-rep,27371/

[dead0man]

"Last week we shot Gov. Mitch Daniels with a tranquilizer dart from a blind we'd set up near the Indiana Capitol, and we plan on mating him very soon with a senator we trapped up in Maine," said IPPM reproductive expert Gabriel Burke, adding that forced breeding of centrist Republicans in captivity is a humane, carefully regulated procedure designed to simulate mating in the wild. "While captive specimens tend to be wary around each other at first, once they sense they're both opponents of labor unions yet also willing to make tough compromises on collective bargaining rights, the sexual ritual begins almost instantly."

[crypto-fascist superhero]

"Moderate" Republicans are the most disgusting creatures known to man.  The fact that liberals jizz themselves over them, despite their representing everything they [claimed to have] hated circa '04-'08, is, frankly, laughable.

[memphis]

Please inform John Fleming

[Senator Napoleon]

"Moderate" Republicans are the most disgusting creatures known to man.  The fact that liberals jizz themselves over them, despite their representing everything they [claimed to have] hated circa '04-'08, is, frankly, laughable.

Jim Jeffords and Lincoln Chafee sure got their way; they are proud Republicans today because of it.

[Badger]

The fact we now consider Mitch Daniels a "moderate Republican" provides more comedy than the Onion article.

[Californian Tony]

"Moderate" Republicans are the most disgusting creatures known to man.  The fact that liberals jizz themselves over them, despite their representing everything they [claimed to have] hated circa '04-'08, is, frankly, laughable.

That's the problem : they represent everything we hate, and still they are less disgusting than the rest of the GOP.

[opebo]

It would be far better to institute a program of exterminating the other kind, like trapping the rats on Vanuatu.

[Torie]

I do feel the hate on this thread. Ouch! 

[Mr.Phips]

The most frustrating thing is that Republicans can still be the majority party without a single moderate member of the House or Senate.  Democrats have several moderates and still are the minority party. 

[greenforest32]

Moderate Republicans are still conservatives. Actual moderates have mostly abandoned the Republicans.

[Polsci]

I would be a Republican if it was still the Eisenhower party.  To be fair I don't like either extremes.  I think the Republicans will make a moderate comeback though, just give them time to mature with age and a world war maybe.

[Simfan34]

From what I know of moderate Republican women, I say this:

Sign me up!

[Governor Scott]

From what I've seen with the Republican primary, all one has to do to be a moderate is differ with their party on one minor issue.  After that, ding!  Moderate.

[Senator Ben]

Does anyone else find the line about the Senator from Maine particularly amusing considering Snowe just retired?

[True Federalist]

Does anyone else find the line about the Senator from Maine particularly amusing considering Snowe just retired?

Reminds me of an old B.C. comic strip from a collection my brother had.  (The below is not the exact words, but close enough.  The gag was particularly memorable because when I first read it, I was young enough to not get the joke.)

B.C.: I just finished counting the apteryx population and we need to act now if we're to save them from extinction.
Peter: Oh?  How many are left?
B.C.: One!
Peter: Biology never was one of your better subjects, was it?

[Tidewater_Wave]

Yep it's happening all around.