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| | |-+  New Breeding Program Aimed At Keeping Moderate Republicans From Going Extinct
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Author Topic: New Breeding Program Aimed At Keeping Moderate Republicans From Going Extinct  (Read 1607 times)
Make Politics Boring Again
exnaderite
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« on: February 14, 2012, 10:15:25 pm »
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http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-breeding-program-aimed-at-keeping-moderate-rep,27371/
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Economic Left/Right: -2.50
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.72
dead0man
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« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2012, 11:03:53 am »
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Quote
"Last week we shot Gov. Mitch Daniels with a tranquilizer dart from a blind we'd set up near the Indiana Capitol, and we plan on mating him very soon with a senator we trapped up in Maine," said IPPM reproductive expert Gabriel Burke, adding that forced breeding of centrist Republicans in captivity is a humane, carefully regulated procedure designed to simulate mating in the wild. "While captive specimens tend to be wary around each other at first, once they sense they're both opponents of labor unions yet also willing to make tough compromises on collective bargaining rights, the sexual ritual begins almost instantly."
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“To oppose something is to maintain it.
They say here "all roads lead to Mishnory." To be sure, if you turn your back on Mishnory and walk away from it, you are still on the Mishnory road. To oppose vulgarity is inevitably to be vulgar. You must go somewhere else; you must have another goal; then you walk in a different road.”
― Ursula K. Le Guin, The Left Hand of Darkness
tpfkaw
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« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2012, 02:15:53 pm »
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"Moderate" Republicans are the most disgusting creatures known to man.  The fact that liberals jizz themselves over them, despite their representing everything they [claimed to have] hated circa '04-'08, is, frankly, laughable.
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memphis
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« Reply #3 on: February 15, 2012, 03:07:18 pm »
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Please inform John Fleming
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I cannot do anything good under my own power. 
I don't want my women talking to people
Napoleon
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« Reply #4 on: February 15, 2012, 03:35:47 pm »
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"Moderate" Republicans are the most disgusting creatures known to man.  The fact that liberals jizz themselves over them, despite their representing everything they [claimed to have] hated circa '04-'08, is, frankly, laughable.

Jim Jeffords and Lincoln Chafee sure got their way; they are proud Republicans today because of it.
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Yeah, after four years of being a non-disruptive poster on the forum, never considered a troublemaker, even someone who was liked well enough to be elected Atlasian President, Napoleon should be allowed to stay.


Badger
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« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2012, 12:42:42 am »
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The fact we now consider Mitch Daniels a "moderate Republican" provides more comedy than the Onion article.
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Solitude Without a Window
Antonio V
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« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2012, 04:28:24 am »
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"Moderate" Republicans are the most disgusting creatures known to man.  The fact that liberals jizz themselves over them, despite their representing everything they [claimed to have] hated circa '04-'08, is, frankly, laughable.

That's the problem : they represent everything we hate, and still they are less disgusting than the rest of the GOP.
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Our numbers are dwindling. Our words are confused.
Some of them have been twisted by the enemy
until they can no longer be recognized.

Now what is wrong, or false, in what we have said?
Just some parts, or everything?
On whom can we still rely? Are we survivors, cast
away by the current? Will we be left behind,
no longer understanding anyone and being understood by no one?
Must we rely on luck?

This is what you ask. Expect
no answer but your own.


Bertolt Brecht
opebo
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« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2012, 12:03:18 pm »
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It would be far better to institute a program of exterminating the other kind, like trapping the rats on Vanuatu.
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The essence of democracy at its purest is a lynch mob

Torie
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« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2012, 01:25:31 pm »

I do feel the hate on this thread. Ouch!  Tongue
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Mr.Phips
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« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2012, 09:27:36 pm »
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The most frustrating thing is that Republicans can still be the majority party without a single moderate member of the House or Senate.  Democrats have several moderates and still are the minority party. 
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greenforest32
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« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2012, 12:06:51 am »
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Moderate Republicans are still conservatives. Actual moderates have mostly abandoned the Republicans.
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Polsci
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« Reply #11 on: February 20, 2012, 01:17:34 am »
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I would be a Republican if it was still the Eisenhower party.  To be fair I don't like either extremes.  I think the Republicans will make a moderate comeback though, just give them time to mature with age and a world war maybe.
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I am an American first.  Ideology always comes after serving the citizenry.  Ours is a country by the people, for the people, and of the people.
Simfan34
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« Reply #12 on: February 20, 2012, 04:36:36 pm »
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From what I know of moderate Republican women, I say this:

Sign me up!
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The world is becoming globalized, but cosmopolitanism is being hijacked by the Davos Man. What choice is left besides nationalism? The thought is terrifying, to be honest.

I just hope Trump doesn't turn into some kind of Berlusconi-esque Teflon man.
Scott
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« Reply #13 on: February 20, 2012, 05:56:39 pm »
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From what I've seen with the Republican primary, all one has to do to be a moderate is differ with their party on one minor issue.  After that, ding!  Moderate.
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Gabriel Cáceres

"He who feeds you, controls you." -Thomas Sankara
Northam for Governor '17
benconstine
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« Reply #14 on: February 29, 2012, 10:23:37 pm »
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Does anyone else find the line about the Senator from Maine particularly amusing considering Snowe just retired?
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Obama High's debate team:

"Now let me be clear...I...I...um...uh...now let me be clear.  I strongly condemn the affirmative in the strongest possible terms, and I am closely monitoring their arguments.  Let me be clear on this."
True Federalist
Ernest
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« Reply #15 on: March 01, 2012, 12:12:37 am »
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Does anyone else find the line about the Senator from Maine particularly amusing considering Snowe just retired?

Reminds me of an old B.C. comic strip from a collection my brother had.  (The below is not the exact words, but close enough.  The gag was particularly memorable because when I first read it, I was young enough to not get the joke.)

B.C.: I just finished counting the apteryx population and we need to act now if we're to save them from extinction.
Peter: Oh?  How many are left?
B.C.: One!
Peter: Biology never was one of your better subjects, was it?
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Quote from: Ignatius of Antioch
He that possesses the word of Jesus, is truly able to bear his very silence. — Epistle to the Ephesians 3:21a
The one thing everyone can agree on is that the media is biased against them.
Tidewater_Wave
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« Reply #16 on: March 01, 2012, 12:38:21 am »
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Yep it's happening all around.
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