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| | |-+  New Breeding Program Aimed At Keeping Moderate Republicans From Going Extinct
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Author Topic: New Breeding Program Aimed At Keeping Moderate Republicans From Going Extinct  (Read 1185 times)
Thoughtful Cynic
exnaderite
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« on: February 14, 2012, 10:15:25 pm »
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http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-breeding-program-aimed-at-keeping-moderate-rep,27371/
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dead0man
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« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2012, 11:03:53 am »
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Quote
"Last week we shot Gov. Mitch Daniels with a tranquilizer dart from a blind we'd set up near the Indiana Capitol, and we plan on mating him very soon with a senator we trapped up in Maine," said IPPM reproductive expert Gabriel Burke, adding that forced breeding of centrist Republicans in captivity is a humane, carefully regulated procedure designed to simulate mating in the wild. "While captive specimens tend to be wary around each other at first, once they sense they're both opponents of labor unions yet also willing to make tough compromises on collective bargaining rights, the sexual ritual begins almost instantly."
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I believe the simple truth is that they became somewhat alarmed when they realized that I really meant to write what I believed. There is a peculiar parallel between some of our great Northern "liberals" and some of our outstanding Southern liberals.

Some of the people in both classes share the deep-seated convictions that only their convictions can possibly be the right ones. They both inevitably say the same thing: "We know the Negro and what is best for him."
tpfkaw
wormyguy
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« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2012, 02:15:53 pm »
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"Moderate" Republicans are the most disgusting creatures known to man.  The fact that liberals jizz themselves over them, despite their representing everything they [claimed to have] hated circa '04-'08, is, frankly, laughable.
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memphis
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« Reply #3 on: February 15, 2012, 03:07:18 pm »
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Please inform John Fleming
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I cannot do anything good under my own power. 
I don't want my women talking to people
Napoleon
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« Reply #4 on: February 15, 2012, 03:35:47 pm »
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"Moderate" Republicans are the most disgusting creatures known to man.  The fact that liberals jizz themselves over them, despite their representing everything they [claimed to have] hated circa '04-'08, is, frankly, laughable.

Jim Jeffords and Lincoln Chafee sure got their way; they are proud Republicans today because of it.
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Yeah, after four years of being a non-disruptive poster on the forum, never considered a troublemaker, even someone who was liked well enough to be elected Atlasian President, Napoleon should be allowed to stay.


Badger
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« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2012, 12:42:42 am »

The fact we now consider Mitch Daniels a "moderate Republican" provides more comedy than the Onion article.
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Your self-serving slacktivism is propelling America to new heights.
Αλληλεγγύη
Antonio V
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« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2012, 04:28:24 am »
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"Moderate" Republicans are the most disgusting creatures known to man.  The fact that liberals jizz themselves over them, despite their representing everything they [claimed to have] hated circa '04-'08, is, frankly, laughable.

That's the problem : they represent everything we hate, and still they are less disgusting than the rest of the GOP.
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RIP Greece. RIP European Federalism.



"It's easy to confuse what is with what ought to be, especially when what is has worked out in your favor."

Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones, ep. 5x09
opebo
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« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2012, 12:03:18 pm »
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It would be far better to institute a program of exterminating the other kind, like trapping the rats on Vanuatu.
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The essence of democracy at its purest is a lynch mob

Torie
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« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2012, 01:25:31 pm »
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I do feel the hate on this thread. Ouch!  Tongue
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Mr.Phips
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« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2012, 09:27:36 pm »
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The most frustrating thing is that Republicans can still be the majority party without a single moderate member of the House or Senate.  Democrats have several moderates and still are the minority party. 
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greenforest32
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« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2012, 12:06:51 am »
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Moderate Republicans are still conservatives. Actual moderates have mostly abandoned the Republicans.
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Polsci
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« Reply #11 on: February 20, 2012, 01:17:34 am »
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I would be a Republican if it was still the Eisenhower party.  To be fair I don't like either extremes.  I think the Republicans will make a moderate comeback though, just give them time to mature with age and a world war maybe.
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I am an American first.  Ideology always comes after serving the citizenry.  Ours is a country by the people, for the people, and of the people.
Simfan34
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« Reply #12 on: February 20, 2012, 04:36:36 pm »
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From what I know of moderate Republican women, I say this:

Sign me up!
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The republicanism in this thread is disgusting.

We don't know how many cars this family has, only that they consume 1/4 of a $60k car per year.
Scott
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« Reply #13 on: February 20, 2012, 05:56:39 pm »
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From what I've seen with the Republican primary, all one has to do to be a moderate is differ with their party on one minor issue.  After that, ding!  Moderate.
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Gabriel Cáceres

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benconstine
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« Reply #14 on: February 29, 2012, 10:23:37 pm »
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Does anyone else find the line about the Senator from Maine particularly amusing considering Snowe just retired?
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Obama High's debate team:

"Now let me be clear...I...I...um...uh...now let me be clear.  I strongly condemn the affirmative in the strongest possible terms, and I am closely monitoring their arguments.  Let me be clear on this."
True Federalist
Ernest
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« Reply #15 on: March 01, 2012, 12:12:37 am »

Does anyone else find the line about the Senator from Maine particularly amusing considering Snowe just retired?

Reminds me of an old B.C. comic strip from a collection my brother had.  (The below is not the exact words, but close enough.  The gag was particularly memorable because when I first read it, I was young enough to not get the joke.)

B.C.: I just finished counting the apteryx population and we need to act now if we're to save them from extinction.
Peter: Oh?  How many are left?
B.C.: One!
Peter: Biology never was one of your better subjects, was it?
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Quote from: Ignatius of Antioch
He that possesses the word of Jesus, is truly able to bear his very silence. — Epistle to the Ephesians 3:21a
The one thing everyone can agree on is that the media is biased against them.
Tidewater_Wave
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« Reply #16 on: March 01, 2012, 12:38:21 am »
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Yep it's happening all around.
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