The Internal Intelligencer: Fuzzy Sues IDS, Citizens Call BS

[Big Wiggly Style]

Region Restructuring Resurfaces As National Issue
Virginia Beach, VA

After recent concerns over the activity of the Midwest and Pacific regions, Atlasians have once again begun debating region restructuring. A recent poll indicates that 58% of Atlasians support at least some form of restructuring, whereas 34% oppose. The most radical restructuring proposals offer the solution of abolishing an entire region, giving way to three reasonably large regions based on population.

Nevada resident Paula Baker agrees that some restructuring is necessary: "It's hard living in a region in which nothing gets done. Polls get opened late and close even later, no legislation is ever passed...it's tough." However, 82-year-old Stanley Hopper, a resident of Butte, Montana disagrees: "This is the way it's always been. Since I was a boy and since my daddy was a boy. Ain't no way some big-name politician is gonna fossilize a system that this country was founded on."

The issue may play a crucial role in the upcoming Presidential election.

[Governor Scott]

Mr. Hopper obviously forgot about the era of Senate districts.

[Big Wiggly Style]

Mr. Hopper obviously forgot about the era of Senate districts.

Shhhhh, Mr. Hopper is a traditionalist and will have none of your liberal-textbooky nonsense

[Comrade Shmoo]

I like your Added Alliterative Appeal. Was that intentional?

[Big Wiggly Style]

I like your Added Alliterative Appeal. Was that intentional?

Of course

[ilikeverin]

Butte, Montana

Butte, Exhilaration*

[Big Wiggly Style]

Butte, Montana

Butte, Exhilaration*

[Big Wiggly Style]

Unemployment Rate Drops Slightly, Pacific Still Struggling
Raleigh, NC

As per a report released today by GM shua, Atlasia's unemployment rate has dropped a hair from 8.4% to 8.3%:

Regional Breakdown of Unemployment Figures
                       Nov    Dec 2011   Jan      Feb     Mar     Apr   2012
Northeast           7.0      7.2       7.0       6.9      6.8      6.7%          
Mideast               7.3      7.5       7.3       7.1      7.0      6.9%
IDS                    10.3    10.1       9.5       9.3      9.1      8.8%
Midwest              8.9      9.0       8.6       8.5      8.4      8.3%
Pacific               10.8    10.9     10.5     10.3    10.1     9.9%

National              9.0      9.2       8.8       8.6       8.4      8.3%

Most noticeable about this chart is the fact that the Pacific Region still faces 10% unemployment, and the IDS sits close to 9%.

Atlasians are mixed about the news, with some calling this a fault on the part of the President, for jobs not being created and others saying that this is small progress.

Robert Dover, a mechanic in Durham, North Carolina, said that his region's unemployment rate being close to 9% is a sign of continued economic hardship, and he blames the President for it: "[Polnut] has done absolutely nothing about this. The IDS legislature has done close to nothing about this. I'm outraged. I want to be able to say "wow, progress really is being made." but it's not. Instead, the President is in England, sucking up to Queen what's-her-face. Our problems at home must be addressed first."

On the opposite side of the spectrum is Ken Haley, a high school teacher from Burlington, VT: "This is actually great news. The fact that the unemployment rate has been declining since January is wonderful news. Baby steps must be made in this recovery, and I have full faith in the President."

A homeless man, who called himself "Toadie," approached me prior to my speech in Raleigh, saying that he believes the current numbers are a lie, and that employment actually sits near 25%.

All in all, unemployment has indeed dropped, but perhaps not as much as everyone would like to see.

[Big Wiggly Style]

Breaking: President Polnut Declares Crisis In Pacific
Montgomery, AL

At around 4:45 AM eastern time this morning, President Polnut declared a state of emergency in the Pacific Region:

EMERGENCY DECLARATION

I, Jack Polnut, acting within my Constitutional authority as President of the Republic, am formally declaring a state of emergency to exist within the Pacific Region.

The lack of the Governor to open a voting booth represents a clear violation to the constitutional rights of the citizens of the region, and therefore, despite efforts to ensure this is carried out, must now be considered an extraordinary event.

I will be instructing the Secretary of Federal Elections to open a fully recognised voting booth for the Pacific Region by 12:01am on Tuesday 22 May 2012.

Any action by the Governor to interfere with this process will render him liable to further legal consequences.

The President's decision further solidifies the notion that the Pacific Region is all but dead, with no activity at all in recent weeks. Governor Jackson could not be reached for comment.

[Big Wiggly Style]

Atlasians Celebrate Memorial Day
Aberdeen, WA

On the last Monday of every May, Atlasians celebrate Memorial Day, a holiday meant to remember our veterans, both living and deceased. Senator Clarence, who is also running for President, is a veteran of the Vietnam War. We here at the Department of Internal Affairs would like to thank Clarence and all veterans for their service in any war they may have served in. To know that our liberties are protected from foreign threats by a select few who love this country enough to lay down their lives for it is humbling.

Happy Memorial Day, everyone.

[hawkeye59]

Atlasians Celebrate Memorial Day
Aberdeen, WA

On the last Monday of every May, Atlasians celebrate Memorial Day, a holiday meant to remember our veterans, both living and deceased. Senator Clarence, who is also running for President, is a veteran of the Vietnam War. We here at the Department of Internal Affairs would like to thank Clarence and all veterans for their service in any war they may have served in. To know that our liberties are protected from foreign threats by a select few who love this country enough to lay down their lives for it is humbling.

Happy Memorial Day, everyone.

I don't think "celebrate" is the best word.

[Big Wiggly Style]

I don't think "celebrate" is the best word.

What's wrong with celebrating the lives and service of military personnel? I think it's a holiday to be celebrated.

[Senator Clarence]

20RP12- this was very kind of you...thank you very much

[Big Wiggly Style]

20RP12- this was very kind of you...thank you very much

[Big Wiggly Style]

NVTownsend Wins Pacific Gubernatorial Race; Lt. Gov. Race In Question
Henderson, NV

NVTownsend (Lib-NV) has been declared the winner of the recent Pacific Gubernatorial race, however, because no one formally declared to run for Lieutenant Governor, that office was left to write-ins. Antonio V won on write-ins, but never declared that he would accept those write-ins. In the case that Antonio does not accept the job, Torie would be left to accept or deny the job, as he came in second place.

Congratulations to NVTownsend for his victory. The mood in the Pacific seems extremely optimistic. People are ready for change and activity.

[Big Wiggly Style]

Polls Show JCL Narrowly Leading Ben
Kansas City, MO

Many recent polls have shown JohanusCalvinusLibertas, a polarizing figure popular amongst Conservatives, leading Benconstine, a popular center-left candidate. Many are claiming that the race is a tossup, but at least one poll shows JCL with a reasonably large lead over Ben.

When asked his opinion of JCL, Mideast citizen Bob Burke said the following:

"He seems like a really down to earth guy. I don't really agree with some of his views, but he has guts to still say what he believes despite knowing the positions are unpopular. I'm not sure who I'm gonna vote for yet, but I'll keep this in mind when I do go to vote."

Others don't feel the same way about JCL.

"He's nuts. He's absolutely nuts. He's a fundamentalist and he does not deserve to serve in the Atlasian senate. Nope. No way." said Elizabeth Gold, a citizen of Baltimore, Maryland.

The race should be interesting, that's for sure.

[oakvale]

Glad to see you've returned - does this mean you'll be staying on as SOIA?

[Big Wiggly Style]

Glad to see you've returned - does this mean you'll be staying on as SOIA?

Until the end of my term. I don't plan on serving in the next administration. If there are no other potential candidates, I might consider it.

[Emperor SJoyce]

I would raise concerns about the fairness of this article; the author is an avowed JCL supporter, after all.

[oakvale]

I would raise concerns about the fairness of this article; the author is an avowed JCL supporter, after all.

I might agree in theory but to be fair the article seems unbiased to me. It's hard to avoid theoretical conflicts of interest in this game considering how small a user base we have.

[Emperor SJoyce]

I would raise concerns about the fairness of this article; the author is an avowed JCL supporter, after all.

I might agree in theory but to be fair the article seems unbiased to me. It's hard to avoid theoretical conflicts of interest in this game considering how small a user base we have.

The Ben guy seems a bit less rational than the guy who said many positive things about JCL; maybe it's nothing, but it seemed off. Probably just a subconscious bias thing.

[Big Wiggly Style]

I would raise concerns about the fairness of this article; the author is an avowed JCL supporter, after all.

I might agree in theory but to be fair the article seems unbiased to me. It's hard to avoid theoretical conflicts of interest in this game considering how small a user base we have.

The Ben guy seems a bit less rational than the JCL guy; maybe it's nothing, but it seemed off.

There was no "JCL guy."

[Big Wiggly Style]

AG Fuzzy Sues IDS, Citizens (and President) Call BS
Little Rock, AR

Last night, Attorney General Fuzzy announced he'd be suing the IDS over their issuing of their currency, the "Dibble." Fuzzy also said that Federal Agents would be seizing the currency at his order:

Executive order from the Office of the Attorney General, Fuzzybigfoot:


This administration charges the Imperial Region with breaking Second Clause of Section 7, Article 1 of Atlasia's third constitution by creating a regional curency (the "Dibble") under the Second Section of the Trojan Act. 


Due to said violations, Federal Agents will seize control of all exchange places listed in the Trojan Act (including the Imperial Capital of Memphis and all other state capitals in the Southern region) and cease the exchange and distribution of "Dibbles" to all Southern citizens.




Stand by for an impending lawsuit against the Imperial South.

SoEA Sjoycefla retorted:

The IDS's Chief Judicial Overlord is currently on a vacation; an attorney for the IDS shall need to be located.

The relevant section of the Constitution is as follows:

No Region may issue Coin or Currency or make any Coin or Currency other than that of the Republic of Atlasia a legal tender.

And the relevant section of the act:

Section 2
The Government of the IDS shall accept the "Dibble" (gold and silver coins in 1,2,5,10,25,50,100,& 500 Dibble denominations that are produced and distributed by a private company) as payment for and service or debts owed to the region.
a. The IDS shall not by any means force any private business or individuals to accept the Dibble in private barter.
b. If any citizen on the IDS would like to Exchange Dibbles for Dollars or vice versa, they may do at the Capitol Building in Memphis or in the capitols of the states within the IDS.
c. The IDS does not recognize the Dibble as a "currency", but as simply items to be used in barter.

and President Polnut said the following in response:

PRESS RELEASE

The President made a brief statement earlier about case being brought against the IDS.

"The section in question creates an alternative legal tender in the region. Whether or not they define it as 'not currency' in the bill is irrelevant, it is minted by the regional government, assigned a monetary value and able to be provided in exchange for goods and services. It is, by those very definitions, currency."