The Internal Intelligencer: Fuzzy Sues IDS, Citizens Call BS

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Howdy, ya'll! This is my first time doing this, so don't expect anything to be perfect, but I'll do my best to make this position viewed as useful again

**please sticky this**

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Atlasians Celebrate St. Patrick's Day
Boston, MA

Today, March 17th, is Saint Patrick's Day. The day commemorates the death of Saint Patrick, who died in 493 A.D. The day is not a federal holiday, but it is celebrated nonetheless each year by Irish Atlasians. The first Saint Patrick's Day parade was held on March 17th 1762 in New York City and has been celebrated every year since. We spoke with some celebrators here in Boston about how they like to celebrate Saint Paddy's day:

"Well, I mean, it's just a day to party, really. Go out with friends, drink, watch the basketball games...it's just a lot of fun." said Colin O'Callaghan, a Boston native his entire life. "A lot of people try to make this a religious holiday, but come on...unless the Pope wants to come by and have a beer or two, leave religion out of it." said Dianne McGovern, a teacher.

No matter how you're celebrating Saint Paddy's day, we here at the Department of Internal Affairs wish you a very happy one.

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Arizona, New Mexico Battling Unusual Weather
Flagstaff, AZ

Arizona and New Mexico, Pacific Region, are battling snowstorms that began on the 18th of March. Local officials fear that the weather may cause potential harm to local citizens, with thousands already without power. The Arizona Snowbowl, a skiing and snowboarding resort in Flagstaff, has measured roughly 19 inches of snow in Arizona. The states are not commonly known for snowfall, but instead are known for their hot and dry weather. The snowfall comes as a surprise to many.

Locals called the snowstorms "crazy" and come as a somewhat pleasant surprise to the two states. "I mean, I don't see snow quite often, so this is great!" said Mary Valdez, a resident of Flagstaff, "I grew up in Vermont, so I was always used to snow. But when I moved here to Arizona, I didn't expect that anymore, so this is great." Other citizens aren't so happy about the weather, like Albuquerque resident Paul Donald. "This is unbelievable. It's ridiculous," said Donald, "I live in New Mexico because I hate cold weather, so I'm not too happy about this."

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Florida Shooting Suspect Accused Of Racism
Sanford, FL

George Zimmerman, the man suspected of killing a 17-year old Florida boy, is coming under fire after internet-based news network The Young Turks discovered that Zimmerman may harbour racist thoughts. When analyzed, the call that Zimmerman placed to 911 on the day of the fatal shooting was decoded and the words "f***king coons" were heard. Zimmerman has not been arrested or charged with any crime as of yet, but nearly 1,000,000 have signed a petition online demanding his arrest. The boy killed on that day, Trayvon Martin, was unarmed and was said to only have a bag of Skittles in his pocket.

Locals are outraged over the killing and are demanding Zimmerman's arrest. Rick Metzinger, a local man who said he knew Trayvon's family said "This is ridiculous that [Zimmerman] hasn't been arrested or charged with a crime. This is clearly a matter of a racial killing and this man must be brought to justice, there's no other way to put it." Bethany Paul, another local, said she is "outraged and disgusted" by the way authorities are handling the case, adding "if the kid that had been fatally shot was white and the shooter was black, we'd have the suspect in custody and this case would be closed by now, but because the victim was black and the shooter was white, nothing is happening. Clearly local police don't care about the fact that a boy has died solely because he was black."

Zimmerman's family was reached for comment but did not return our calls.

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Mississippi Man Gets Life Sentence For Racist Murder
Jackson, MS

Deryl Dedmon, a 19 year old man from Brandon, Mississippi, was sentenced to life in prison today for the murder of James Craig Anderson, a black man from Jackson, Mississippi in June of 2011. Dedmon supposedly told his friends that were with him that night that they should go "f**k with some n***ers" and one teen reportedly shouted "white power" after Anderson was killed. Police reports indicate that Anderson was unarmed and had no connection to the boys, further adding to the notion that Anderson was murdered solely because he was black.

Anderson's family remembered him as a kind-hearted and loving man who intended no harm to anyone. Dedmon thoroughly apologized to the victim's family during the trial, but was spared no mercy by the Judge, who called the murder "a despicable crime" that was "condemned by the state of Mississippi."

Anderson was allegedly killed after being beaten and then run over by Dedmon's truck on the night that he died. Anderson's family told us that they are happy that justice was served, but his sister told us "we ultimately have to forgive Mr. Dedmon because he professed that he has found Jesus. We believe him. In the spirit of our lord and savior, we forgive Dedmon. Our scars will never fully heal, but we know that Craig is in a better place now."

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BREAKING NEWS: Nuclear Plot Intercepted In Nevada
Reno, NV

According to the Game Moderator, two suspects have been arrested in Nevada in connection to a plot to steal purified plutonium. There is no word yet whether or not the suspects are connected to any terrorist organization and it is believed that they were unsuccessful in acquiring the plutonium. The names of the suspects have not been released yet, more details to come.

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Presidential Candidate Tweed Proposes Vast Reforms
Brooklyn, NY

Presidential Candidate ©Boss Tweed announced early this morning his plan to overhaul Atlasian Government to create for a better experience for all involved:

so, what am I proposing?  a conscious and spirited re-interweaving of Atlasia and the community.  let's stop wasting so much time using our mock state apparatus to debate absolutely pointless and absurd 'Atlasia-Co-Operative Republic of Guyana Free Trade Act's, and more in using the government sim as a genuine expression of the culture and social relations of the community...

...for instance, imagine an Atlasian politicization of the Inks-Deluge crisis?  perhaps if it were the job of Atlasia to pass a resolution taking an official stand on this, to express the general will of the community on a topic that I would venture to say has tapped into more passion in the past few days than this stupid and dead game has in years, the simulation would once again mean something.  there would be skin in the game.

According to recent polls, Tweed's proposals have been met with mixed public opinion, with 45% of Atlasians approving of his plans, 38% disapproving and 17% remaining undecided. A campaign started by IDS Legislator Pingvin99 to oppose the election of Tweed has caused a bit of a stir within Tweed's campaign. Pingvin had the following to say:

Who is Mr. Tweed?
And who are his supporters?
Lets answer this questions.

1) Tweed - dangerous bolshevik, who now if elected, will take away our essential liberties.

glad to hear it, Phil.  Marxism-Leninism-Tweedism (also known as Marxism-Leninism with Atlasian Characteristics or Boss Tweed Thought) is a systematic fusion of the reactionary-cultural with the revolutionary-political, destined to bring many into the fold.

"It is true that liberty is precious; so precious that it must be carefully rationed."  --Lenin

2) His main supporters are:

20RP12 - "Libertarian" who accepted SoIA job in the Polnut administration.

I love you.

Bgwah - formerly powerhunger [sic] liberal "Lion" of the Senate who now will try to use his influence to in the Supreme Court.

When will you announce me as your running mate?

Citizens! If you want to save our country from the dangerous socialist ideology who killed 100+ millions innocent people, and if you don't want your children to be slaves of the main Tweed supporters - corporations and left radicals

VOTE
ANYBODY
BUT
NOT
TWEED

Vice Presidential candidate Bgwah had the following to say in response:

Sorry Pingvin, you still don't get to go to re-education camp with all of your friends. We plan to keep you around as token opposition we know nobody will take seriously to maintain the illusion of democracy.

and SoIA 20RP12 responded as well:

Woah woah woah...I never endorsed anyone. I told him I loved him cuz he's funny. I'm not endorsing anyone yet. Slow your rollers.

Clearly Mr. Tweed is causing a stir in the regions and it appears it is just what this country needs.

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President Polnut Talks Nuclear Power In Morocco
Milwaukee, WI

President Polnut was in Morocco today to discuss nuclear energy, calling for a drastic decrease in its use. The transcript can be found below:

Ladies and gentlemen,

Today we are gathered here to consider the real threat our common future faces. Yet again, nuclear security and therefore the security of the world is a point of concern.

The Hindi God Shiva is both a God of destruction and a God creation and renewal. In many ways our approach to nuclear technology is the same. It is, at once, the harnessing of the base elements of our universe to either destroy in an instant or to create energy to power our world.

People of my political persuasion have been caught in the horns of a dilemma for as long as we knew about nuclear technology. It grants some the capacity for destruction that no single country deserves, but as we saw during the Cold War, the presence of those weapons, and the mutual assured destruction they would bring created equilibrium. However, the race to assume and expand our nuclear knowledge has had a tremendous effect on those directly and those innocently nearby. Apart from environmental desolation, what about the cancer clusters directly related to that research in the early days.

We have states across the world, where dangerous nuclear technology is stored in sheds, protected at best by one guy, a German shepherd and a padlock. We will work with our friends and neighbours to remove fissile material and downgrade it, we will work with them to secure material around the world. The common factor is that Atlasia wants to work with the world to clean up and secure nuclear material.

However, we have also used that technology to change our world for the better. While events like Three-Mile Island, Chernobyl and Fukishima made as all question the need for nuclear power, the fact remains that in many ways it is the low-emission alternative to fossil fuels for the short to medium term. I know I am at odds with many in my country, in my side of politics and within my party. I believe nuclear power can be harnessed safely and with maximum security.

The other key issue we cannot ignore is the risk posed to the wider world by the obtaining of fissile material by rouge nations and non-state actors, not the least of which being terrorists. Their desire to obtain this material is no secret. I understand the total discomfort by many as I stand here as President of a nuclear-armed state suggesting that other countries do not deserve access to such weapons. I understand it, but that does not mean that I am going to engage in moral relativism. However, I am taking this opportunity to make this pledge here and now. Atlasia will commence a new round of nuclear weapon dismantling. It is my intention to reduce Atlasia’s stockpile of nuclear weapons to 15% of 2000 levels within the next two years. I can hear many saying “why can’t you do it faster?” and “why can’t get rid of all nukes?” the answers to those questions are these, in order to dismantle warhead and dispose of fissile material in a safe manner takes time, and the other is a sheer fact of Geopolitical reality.

However, I believe we should pledge that all of our efforts will lead to a time when nuclear weapons are relic of history. It is not an easy ask, in fact, one of the toughest. But we must start now, and we must be united and prevent further destabilizing proliferation.

I truly believe the energy future of the world lies within clean renewable technologies and I will continue to support more research and development to bring those energies online in a wholesale manner as quickly as possible. But we must be realistic; we cannot wail and gnash our teeth because they’re not here now. For the past two decades we have squandered opportunities to focus on that research. We cannot afford to continue to do so. But we need to understand that because of taking our eye off the ball at a critical time, we need to spend more than we should need to and it will take longer to bring online than we want.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is an opportunity we cannot waste. The time is now, and we must be prepared to act.

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Atlasians Split On Usage Of Nuclear Power
Green Bay, WI

According to a recent poll taken by the office of the SoIA, 46% of Atlasians don't support advancing our usage of nuclear power, while 44% do support it, 10% remain undecided or apathetic on the issue.*

These results come on the eve of President Polnut's speech in Morocco proclaiming that he opposes an increase in the proliferation of nuclear weapons, citing past disasters and misuse as reasons to oppose its use as a means of weaponry.

Senator Clarence (Whig-FL) voiced opposition to the President's proposal:

Mr. President- I am appalled by this. A reduction in our nuclear arsenal as part of an agreement with other nations to do the same is understandable and desirable... a unilateral weakening of our nuclear arsenal with no agreement for other nations to do the same is irresponsible to the point of neglect of your duties as Commander-in-Chief...

I will be putting forward a bill to prevent any reduction in our nuclear arsenal unless there is a treaty with other world powers- specifically China nd [sic] Russia- to make equivalent proportional reductions...

The issue is clearly divisive and will no doubt cause a stir in coming elections.

* = OOC: This poll is fictitious, as most of the coming polls I am to cite in future posts will be. Thanks.

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Senator Oakvale Announces Retirement
Green Bay, WI

Senator Oakvale (Liberal-DE) announced that he would finish the remainder of his term, but would not seek re-election and will retire following his term. The transcript of his announcement can be found below:

I know it's a little early, but I feel I should announce this sooner rather than later - I will not be seeking election to a full term as your Senator, and, furthermore, intend to retire from Atlasia once the Liberal Party platform has been passed and my term has ended.

My time in Atlasia has been a lot of fun - from the early days as Governor of the Pacific, to the chaotic Presdential race, my earlier spell in the Senate, and the honour of being part of the Supreme Court. I've made some friends and had an enjoyable time, but everything comes to and end eventually.

Thank you to everyone who's voted for and supported me over the years - I'm happy to say I'm leaving Atlasia in what looks to be a very good position - we have competitive elections, four major parties, and actual debates. I've had the privelege of leading one of those parties, and we've got a great generation of leaders in and soon-to-be-in office.

I'll now fairly quietly serve out the rest of my Senate term until my retirement once my successor is sworn in.

Thank you!

- oakvale.

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Senators Junkie, Marokai and Oakvale Announce They Will Resign
Baltimore, MD

Today, Senators Junkie (Moderate-ME,) Marokai (Labour-IA) and Oakvale (Liberal-DE) announced they will resign from their positions, effective immediately. Junkie's statement can be found below:

I regret to say that I am resigning from my Senate seat.  This place was really fun when I first started, but lately I am only logging on beause I feel I have to.  I ran for the Senate because I really wanted the job and hoped it would restore the fun.  That did not happen.  The recent tone by some really sucked the fun out of it.  I really wanted to contribute, but the fact is that I do not believe that I will do so, and thus will not be doing my job.

You guys deserve a Senator that will take this game to the next level.  That is no longer me.  I thought about just hanging on until the next election but that would be a disservice to the voters.  So I resign and am taking my leave of Atlasia and the forum.  To all the friends I made, I am glad I met you guys.

So long.

Marokai's statement can be found below:

After some reflection on this, I've decided to resign from my position as Senator.

I have found myself too occupied with other things to even be on this forum at all, lately, let alone deal with Atlasian stuff, and I'm deeply sorry for that. I'll return someday, but for now there are other things to deal with, and the Senate deserves better than my unfortunate inactivity.

and Oakvale's statement can be found below:

Update: In light of the resignations of Junkie and Marokai Blue I, too, have decided to step down early from the Senate in order to give my successor (hopefully a Liberal ), who'll be elected in the upcoming special election, an early start in office.

My reasons for planning to serve out the rest of the term was to avoid inconveniencing the SoFE, but since there's now to be a special election regardless..

I'll stay on as Chair of the Liberal Party until we have finalised a platform.

- oakvale.

So far, only one person has announced they will seek to replace one of the three now-vacated seats: IDS Legislator Pingvin (Whig-TX) His statement can be found below:

I am hereby formally declaring my candidacy for the Senate.
 
I am in this race to win, because I believe that only the tested principles of Conseravtism can lead us to victory and guide our country safely through the perils of the future. 

In all humility, but conscious too of the importance of the issues at stake, and proud to carry in this contest the banner of responsible conservatism, I respectfully ask for the support and the votes of the registered voters of Atlasia.

We here at the Department of Internal Affairs are saddened to see the resignations of these three great Senators and we wish them both the best in their future endeavors.

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More and more, it's looking like we should just pack up Atlasia and move back to the real world full time.  Game over.

Beginning to think this myself. It's growing to be this thing that I'm putting too much energy in for no reason.

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By the way- your constant name and country/state image changes are confusing this old man!

I have horrific OCD, please forgive me

Yeah, Atlasia is drier than straw.  I only check this board because I have to run the IDS legislature and that just feels like a chore.

Does anybody want to play a new kind of govsim?  I see there is a mock parliament sub-board; a dozen or two of us could make that into a game again.  Anybody interested?

Consider me interested.

More and more, it's looking like we should just pack up Atlasia and move back to the real world full time.  Game over.

We just had three of our best Senators resign.  There are threads on the main board that were last updated on March 17th.  There have definitely been bad times in Atlasia, bad times indeed, but this is worrying.

Agreed.

I've lost most interest in this game (and forum). What happened to everyone?

It appears as though we may be closing up shop once and for all on this thing.

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From what I understand, this game has been in existence since at least 2004.  I think we will see a revival one day, since it's made it this far.  We have new registries fairly often.

Maybe we need some of our old players back (Phil, Joe, Alcon, Lief, Mr. Moderate)?

Well, with Tweed coming back and running for President, it's very up in the air.

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The people in your St. Patty's day post are insulting & vile.

The interview was conducted in Boston

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Atlasian Emergency CPR Caucus Garners Bi-Partisan Support
Detroit, MI

The Atlasian Emergency CPR Caucus, formed by SoIA 20RP12 (Liberal-Wisconsin,) is garnering bi-partisan support, with Senator Scott (Liberal-Connecticut,) IDS Legislator Pingvin (Whig-TX) and Alfred F. Jones (Labour-New York) joining in the movement.

SoIA 20RP12 stated the following when forming the caucus:

Look guys, we all know this game is dying. A cancer has afflicted Atlasia and hope is far, far away. But I believe that we can reach for hope and grab it, therefore I am forming this caucus.

It's not a politically-partisan caucus, rather, it is dedicated to reviving Atlasia and making it interesting again. Making it fun.

Eyes fall on the caucus as a potential difference maker in reviving Atlasia.

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At-Large Senate Candidate Alters Race
Phoenix, AZ

William Peterson Jeffery Bellamy Brown Blair Thatcher Churchill Attlee MacDonald MacBrit Nutterbutter III, Esquire, better known as William P. Nutterbutter III, announced today that he is running for At-Large Senate.

Nutterbutter, who is the internally-conjoined twin of SoIA 20RP12, has stated that he has no intention of actually campaigning, but believes Atlasia will choose him simply because he is "the fanciest and most British candidate there is."



In other news, SoIA 20RP12 has been diagnosed with Schizophrenia. More to come.

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Midwest Governor Hawkeye Appoints Marokai's Replacement
Des Moines, IA

Today, Midwest Governor Hawkeye (Labour-IA) appointed ilikeverin (Other-MN) to replace Marokai as Senator. The decision was hailed as a positive one, and many are excited for ilikeverin's term. Marokai resigned as Senator on March 28th 2012.

A poll taken by SoIA 20RP12 today suggests that ilikeverin is viewed favorably by Midwest citizens, garnering a 76% approval rating, to just 19% disapproval. When asked what they thought about the appointment, Midwest citizens had mostly good things to say about the appointment.

"I think it's great. ilikeverin's a great guy, I met him a while back. He's just a really nice guy. I'm happy to be represented by him." said Bill Foster, a resident of Des Moines, IA. Other citizens, like Shirley Pennington of Minneapolis, MN, agreed:

"I can't think of a better person to serve. I'm really excited." the 38 year old Pennington said. "He's just a fantastic guy."

But some citizens were less than enthusiastic about the appointment. Todd Green, a resident of Pierre, South Dakota and professed "dyed-in-the-wool conservative right-winger" stated that he is "extremely unhappy, as this is just another example of a liberal putting another liberal in power." Green went on to say that the Senate "needs more true conservatives."

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BREAKING NEWS: Tweed Declares Atlasian Government Illegitimate
Queens, NY

Boss Tweed, a Presidential Candidate in June, has declared the Atlasian Government illegitimate. The statement can be found below:

a generational crisis, a new 'normal' of discontent: welcome to the New Atlasia.


VIDEO HERE (note: use of adult language)


__

I am proud to announce today, on April 4, 2012, in conjunction with: Nathan and the Labor Party; Carl the Ron Paul fanatic and his 'CPR Caucus'; my Vice Presidential candidate, mentor, and Supreme Court justice Bald Motherfker; and my longtime friend Keystone Phil, that the state apparatus is now declared defunct by our acclamation and we are forming a provisional government, which I will give the working title 'New Atlasia'.

eight and one-quarter years ago almost to the day, I took it upon myself to light the fire that would quickly evolve into the defining expression-form of our Community.  its evolution was nothing short of incredible, and though I did produce the spark, I cannot in my right mind claim responsibility for all the developments theretofore.  it was through the ingenuity and spontaneous brilliance of the Community at-Large that we, together and without a Divine plan, had our thousands of man-hours of fun through the years.

but somewhere, sometime, something went wrong.  this we know; we do not know entirely what it was, or why, but it went horribly wrong.  I am confident that we can and will answer these pressing questions; I have theories of my own.  and we must make this decisive, revolutionary break with the past or enjoy our front-row seat on the "Managed Decline" train right into the ash heap of history.

such is why, I, today, declare the current government of Atlasia illegitimate; and declare myself, as the General Secretary of the Tweedist Popular Front, the leader and Head of State of the temporary, transitory government that will throw Atlasia on its back and spawn a New incarnation of the former glory.

this transitory government is temporary, and will only use power in this vacuum for the shortest duration possible, before commissioning provisional elections that will return direct control over the state apparatus to the public at-large.

in the coming days, I will outline a plan of immediate action.  for this I will need not only the help of my trusted confidants, but also the general public. I have no desire to be royalty to any other form of autocrat: New Atlasia will be successful only to the extent that it is democratic, in the purest sense of the word.


for specific proposals, as well as a more general emotional appeal, please see the conjunctive video.

Best,
Your Leader,
Boss Tweed.

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Turns out I forgot to write him in. Sh*t.

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URGENT: ANTHRAX FOUND IN LETTER ADDRESSED TO WHITE HOUSE
Nyman, DC

A letter addressed to The White House was found to be laced with anthrax. The letter said the following, according to Secret Service officials:

And we'll love again, we'll laugh again
We'll cry again and we'll dance again
And it's better off this way
So much better off this way
I can't clean the blood off the sheets in my bed

And never again, and never again
They gave us two shots to the back of the head
And we're all dead now

The address from where the letter was sent is reportedly that of an abandoned house in Camden, New Jersey.

No deaths have been reported, but an aide to the President that handled the letter is being treated for a potential contraction of the disease.

The President was not harmed, nor did he read the letter, but he has been taken to an undisclosed location at this time.

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Mr. Secretary, are all of your username changes coordinated with Atlasian events or...

did you do it?

Nah I just used lyrics from the same song because it's what I was listening to at the time

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I didn't do it! Even though I have a motive to kill the President because he defeated me in the last election, I can say that anthrax is not my style.

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You guys are just asking for your phones to be tapped. 

I'm pretty sure I'm already on that list because I listen to Alex Jones

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Ah lawdie lawdie be right there.