Office of NE Speaker Alfred F. Jones: At Least Now I Won't Be Bothering Yankee

[Comrade Shmoo]

Yay! I'm an elected officeholder.

I'd like to thank the political machine that got me elected, my family, Cthulhu, Joseph Kony, my cat Richard Nixon, and the entirety of the Northeast, even those who voted for Jerseyrules. I'd also like to thank Jerseyrules himself for not campaigning, and finally, I'll thank Senator Wormyguy for vacating this seat.

Thank you, and Dave bless.

[Comrade Shmoo]

I really hate to barge in on all this front-page news, which I'm sure is far more important than an Assembly campaign, but for the 40 or so Northeasterners, I'd just like to announce my reelection campaign.

I've done well in the service of the Northeast. I've fought for equity in the law, and though it probably has failed by now (I haven't checked), we made a statement for everyone that the rich can't just get off with a slap on the wrist.

Because, when you look at the Great Recession, that's what they've done. And I know that I probably can't do a thing to change that in my current state, I'm going to keep supporting the Northeastern middle class. That's why I came here. That's why I need your vote. That's why I'm going to vote for the common man/woman/small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

So let's do this. Vote for me (again) and I will continue working for you.

I'm a random teenager who hides behind the alias 'Alfred F. Jones', and I approve this message, because I'm stating it.

If this gets in anyone's way, I'm very sorry.

[Ѕenator Αverroës]

You have my support. And trust me, if I'm elected as Governor, I'll do whatever I can to fight for the Roscoe Conkling Equity Before the Law Act.

[Rep Pyrofox]

Proudly endorsed.

[Comrade Shmoo]

Thanks to both of you, and Pyro: I'm endorsing you here, because you don't appear to have an office. You could rent my sister's house, if you wanted to.

[Rep Pyrofox]

Thanks to both of you, and Pyro: I'm endorsing you here, because you don't appear to have an office. You could rent my sister's house, if you wanted to.

Thank you very much! Hehe, well I don't find it necessary to have an office thread while encompassing this marginal role in public servility, but if I run for governor or senate in the next couple months, I'll start one.

[Comrade Shmoo]

So I got reelected and stuff, but that's not important. The point is:

I have a federal government job!!!!!

So I'm the incoming president's press secretary. If you guys want to ask me any questions and stuff, feel free.

Sorry if I'm cluttering up the front page!

[Ѕenator Αverroës]

Do you plan to retain your seat in the Northeast Assembly?

[Comrade Shmoo]

Do you plan to retain your seat in the Northeast Assembly?

Yep. I talked to Nappy and he said I could do both.

[Ѕenator Αverroës]

Excellent.

[Is JCL in mushy sappy love]

Here's to you serve the rightful administration well.

[GM Griffin]

Congratulations! I'm sure you'll do a stellar job.

[Governor Scott]

Congratulations!!

[Senator Ben]

Congratulations! I'm sure you'll do a stellar job.

[Comrade Shmoo]

Thanks, guys!

[Comrade Shmoo]

So, uh...

Wow. I haven't been here in about seventy years or so. I really need to update this.

Aside from some Northeastern stuff, nothing important happened, anyway. But: I'm furthering the cause of the True Leftist Labor Party, 'cause I'm running for Senate.

Now, I have no doubt that Mr. Franzl is a good man, and will be a great Senator, and I have no doubt that he will crush me in this race, but I am running to generally further the cause of the (somewhat more serious) left in Atlasia. Just take all that stuff I said in my first campaign, and replace "Pingvin" with "Franzl" and edit out all the stuff about me being a noob.

I know that my opponent will serve Atlasia well, but I personally think that if we want to move forward, Labor can do somewhat of a better job. You and I, Liberal and Labor, we have the same ideals. I just have them more.

Also, Labor has the majority of the people (not The People, though), but only 2 measly Senate seats. That's not good.[/coldheartedpowerplay]

We're going to take Atlasia forward, and we're going to do it starting on October 1st, 2012. Thank you all, and good night.

[Emperor SJoyce]

Also, Labor has the majority of the people.

This is false.

[GM Griffin]

Also, Labor has the majority plurality of the people.

This is false true.

[Comrade Shmoo]

Thanks, Adam *does the double hand-wave thing with Adam*.

[Comrade Shmoo]

My opinion on some of the bills being debated in the Senate (the ones I have an opinion on):

National University and General Education Reform Bill:

I'm perfectly fine with this bill. I support a strong system of education (doesn't everyone?) and believe that a good university is a student's gateway to a good job and a bright future. I don't really see any problems with this bill. Move along, nothing to see here.

Progressive Traffic Fines Act:

I'd support this act in theory, but we've already enacted a somewhat more progressive system here in the Northeast, and from what I've seen this bill would weaken that system. Also, I don't like the opt-out privilege. It's stupid. If this bill were cleaned up somewhat, however, I'd support it in full.

The Contempt of Congress Act:

I'm OK with this. I think that the Senate should have access to whomever it wants to testify on its behalf, so as to get the best testimony possible, but a six-month voting ban seems a bit iffy, as it could vary a bit with regards to elections missed. On the fence.

More stuff later.

[Emperor SJoyce]

National University and General Education Reform Bill:

I'm perfectly fine with this bill. I support a strong system of education (doesn't everyone?) and believe that a good university is a student's gateway to a good job and a bright future. I don't really see any problems with this bill. Move along, nothing to see here.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federalism

[Senator Snowstalker]

Endorsed for Senate!

[Comrade Shmoo]

National University and General Education Reform Bill:

I'm perfectly fine with this bill. I support a strong system of education (doesn't everyone?) and believe that a good university is a student's gateway to a good job and a bright future. I don't really see any problems with this bill. Move along, nothing to see here.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federalism

And what part of the Constitution does the act go against? I want something in the Constitution, Sam, not that "REGIONAL RIGHTS!!!1!ONE!!11!" bullsh**t.

[Emperor SJoyce]

National University and General Education Reform Bill:

I'm perfectly fine with this bill. I support a strong system of education (doesn't everyone?) and believe that a good university is a student's gateway to a good job and a bright future. I don't really see any problems with this bill. Move along, nothing to see here.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federalism

And what part of the Constitution does the act go against? I want something in the Constitution, Sam, not that "REGIONAL RIGHTS!!!1!ONE!!11!" bullsh**t.

See my question in the President's press conference. The bill serves no purpose whatsoever other than to expand the powers of the federal government.

[Comrade Shmoo]

Mr. President, can you explain the rationale for establishing a national university system and wasting millions in start-up costs instead of simply providing the funds to the regions to establish a new university (which would be just as good as any national university if they have the same funding) on the regional level?

You previously cited that one of your motives was to "introduce competition to regional public universities"; how does your bill aim to do that when it also drives into bankruptcy an entire class of universities, and when one of the sponsors of the bill stated on the floor of the Senate that "this is not a competition with them [regional universities]"?

What does this bill accomplish that could not be done on the regional level?

Is it unconstitutional to pass a law that punishes a college with a 50% tax hike simply due to their philosophy?

Sam, it appears your beef with this is simply that it's the feds doing it.

Why? Why--this is one of the things I hate about libertarians--are you only opposed to things like gay marriage bans or funding for education if the federal government does it? And about the "wasting millions in start-up costs", wouldn't providing funding to the regions just be "wasting millions in funding to the regions"? It'll cost money any way you slice it.