Office of NE Speaker Alfred F. Jones: At Least Now I Won't Be Bothering Yankee

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Wow.

I'm honored to even be allowed to exist here, first of all. I've spent nary a month on this great forum, and to be allowed to participate in this simulation is a gift unto itself. I hope to go far in this (not that I will),and I cannot overstate my gladness at the acceptance you all have given me.

Now:

I am running to fill this Senate seat because it appears that no one else will. The recent triple resignation of Senators Oakvale, Junkie, and Marokai Blue has left a sour taste in many an Atlasian mouth. I have become aware that this simulation is dead. They say that there is no hope for the future.

But I'd like to remind you of another candidate that ran in dark times, a relative newbie who spoke innocently of hope.

Yes, I just compared myself to Barack Obama. But I have no lofty goals of changing Atlasia with a snap of my fingers. No single man, woman, or small furry creature from Alpha Centauri can do that. We need new blood, new ideas in the Senate. What we need is...

a muffin!

But seriously, folks, we need life. We need to get things done! What we need is nothing short of a Renaissance of belief and hope for the future. We need to make Atlasia great again. We need to work across party lines (that's a problem, isn't it?) and forge new solutions and new ideas for Atlasia's future.

That's why I'm running for Senate. That's why I just made various empty promises that I do intend to keep, mind you. That's why you all should vote for me, especially you there.

Jones for Senate and stuff! Questions and comments are appreciated!

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

I personally prefer chocolate-chip muffin, but I believe that all muffins should be free and equal in Atlasia.

Where do you stand on education reform?  Ideas?

I'm assuming that the issues are the same here as in RL, no? Well, then:

-All school for free! Even college!

-Speaking of which, mandatory college

-All pubic schools should be well-funded and equipped with the best teachers available

-Private schools are okay, but I would hold them to higher standards than public schools. High taxes on their profits so that they don't forget about the students (see previous sentence).

-Good , well-rounded curricula and stuff

 -Teachers should be well-paid and good at their jobs. Rigorous evaluations and monitoring and all that

-But, no teaching to the test. Standardized testing isn't a good enough picture of whether a student has truly learned.

-Beat Hong Kong

I think that's about it. I saw the bill you proposed, Senator, and I'm happy to say that I'd vote for it.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Article I, Section 1, subsection 2;

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Is that in the Constitution? I checked and I-1-2 reads as follows:

All members of the National Assembly shall have one vote.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Well, that doesn't matter, because this very post is my 200th! Mwahahahaha!

I look forward to (hopefully) serving the people of Atlasia well in the Senate.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Should I post a general platform now? Yes.

What I Stand For:

I'm a proud Labor member, but I'll tell you my beliefs here and in my next few posts, just in case.

Economy/Role of Government

I support the government actively helping the middle class in its continued struggle for existence. The government should be used, in general, as a tool to help those who cannot help themselves. Not only that, it should ensure a high quality of life for any Atlasian who wishes to accept it. I believe that taxes should be used not only as a way to balance the budget, but a way to keep Big Corporation under control and make sure that they don't operate solely for profit (see my view on private schools). In addition, taxes will fund social programs like education and health care, because I firmly believe that a good life for all should be funded by the few who have many, instead of the many who have few.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Thanks! Now:

Immigration

I fully support any and all immigration. If foreigners want a better life and believe that Atlasia is the way to go so that they can achieve that life, then that's something that we as a nation should be proud of. The Atlasian Dream is the essence of our nation, and a poor immigrant from a war-torn country seeking refuge and a place to live happily ever after is one of the clearest examples of that dream. If someone enters the country illegally, then I believe that they should first and foremost be granted citizenship, but there should be consequences. However, these consequences should not be so harsh that they discourage immigration.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

A Response To Certain Statements Made By My Opponent

My fellow Atlasians, I am not a man who attacks his opponents with baseless and foolish accusations. My opponent in this race, Mr. Pingvin (I do not consider Mr. Snowstalker an enemy of mine), has demonstrated that he is. He has referred to Snowstalker and I as such:

They believe in some Pax Universalis; we believe in the Old Republic. They would put Atlasian's wealth and power at the service of some vague New World Order; we will put Atlasia first.

First off, let it be known that this 'New World Order' of which Mr. Pingvin speaks is a conspiracy theory that has no basis in reality. I am not trying to take your freedoms away, rather it is Mr. Pingvin who is trying to manipulate you with lies about my character and that of Mr. Snowstalker.

Second, what is wrong with world peace? Does Mr. Pingvin wish to send our troops off into yet another war to fight and die for a cause that isn't very important?

I would like Mr. Pingvin to answer these questions rather soon, please, so if someone could inform him of them, that would be greatly appreciated.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

First, I was not using "New World Order" term for one organization. When I'm saying New World Order, I mean such organizations like EU or new Putin's project "Eurasian Union" or agreements like ACTA or ideas like global gun control legislation.

Second, I wholeheartdly support peace. I support cutting defense budget, I support withdrawing our troops that are currently deployed overseas.

Sincerely,
Pingvin

Thank you for clearing these up, Mr. Pingvin. Also, what is your position on the UN?

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Do you think that there has to necessarily be some limit on immigration levels based on either economic or social considerations, that could adversly affect the immigrants themselves even if not considered?

As in stuff like discrimination, etc.?

Also you say that you are concerned that any consquences might discourage, are you saying illegal immigration shouldn't be discouraged or that you are concerned that legal immigrants will be discouraged from coming based on how illegal immigrants are dealt with?

Legal immigrants.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

I tend to focus on the economic side effects, but others would be relevant also. I am basically asking if you think there is a threshold beyond which, immigration should be restricted as necessited by some reality, unfortunate or otherwise.  Discrimination against immigrants is a concern, but I don't see it as the type of limiting constraint I have in mind. From an economic standpoint for instance, a sudden influx beyond a certain level (determined by the factors in play at the time) could cause wages to fall and thus hurt the poor both immigrant and native resident. With this in mind, I am trying to see if you support any limits or think it should be completely unlimited.

Ah, OK. Theoretically I could see a limit if there was a Depression-level downturn coupled with a large influx, because there would be a large number of native citizens that would need to be taken care of and given jobs first, but other than that I wouldn't support any limits.

What would you consider to be an enforcement mechanism against illegals that would discourage legal immigration?   

Well, if you look at the laws that are being passed IRL now in various states (AZ, SC, etc.), that's harming legal immigrants as well. I think any illegal immigration policy that's like Arizona's, for examples, would be considered as such.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Foreign Policy

I support peace, harmony, and cooperation among the nations of the world. The US should not become in other nations' wars, unless it is between separate countries, at least one of which is our ally. We should, however, be active in the world community and work with our allies and enemies alike to forge solutions that are acceptable to all.

However, I adamantly oppose all tyrannical and dictatorial regimes and will aid the people if they are engaged in a struggle with said regimes. Democracy is the single greatest gift one nation can bestow upon another, and I support the right of nations to self-determination.

If Atlasia is attacked by a foreign power, I support a strong military response, though we must avoid needless harm. I oppose the very existence of nuclear weapons, as there are far better ways of settling disputes among nations than the destruction of the planet and the loss of innocent lives.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

I'd just like to come out now and say that I support Mr. Tweed. We need a stronger Atlasia. Not just for us, but for the forum as a whole. For the fifth wall. For unity and peace and justice and all that.

Actually, the unity thing is right.

However, I am undecided on the idea of a revolution in the government itself. I believe that this will be decided by the will of the people in June, and I will vote with them if I am in the Senate at that time.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Pre-Voting Speech:

All right, Atlasians. The election begins tomorrow, and if we are to have a shot at reforming this, we're going to need to vote. Specifically, for me. Atlasia is broken and needs to be fixed.

Make no bones about it, I am the candidate to do so.

I need your votes, citizens. Atlasia needs your vote.  The current system is bogged down by apathy and discontent. But I am a shining beacon of freedom and light. Not literally.

So get out there and check the box next to my name when the election comes so that we can take back Atlasia!

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Mid-Voting Speech:

Wow.

I'm honored to see my name as #1 for so many Atlasians. It is truly a great feeling to be marching ever closer towards being part of this great Senate.

We are going to do this. We are going to win.

And when we win, we shall take back Atlasia for the ideals we all hold dear.

We are going to make Atlasia a place where every working man and woman can stand, free and upright, in the light of a glorious new day.

Where our children will learn to do great new things, and to boldly go where no one has gone before.

We're going to make Atlasia greater than ever before, and when I am sworn in, I will do everything in my power to serve you, the common Atlasian.

Thank you, and good voting.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Victory!

Again, wow.

I am honored to be elected Senator in this great nation, and as my first foray into politics at that.

I'd like to thank my friends, my family, and Snowstalker (for not running in the special election ). I'd also like to congratulate Senator PIngvin on his win, as I am not the only victor tonight.

My fellow Atlasians, tonight I stand before you prepared to fight for the values you hold dear. I am ready to stand up for the shrinking Atlasian middle class, and to slay the beat of wealth-coddling Whigs. I am here to stand up for the worker as well, if you can't tell by my party affiliation.

I'm ready. We're all ready. And when we start fighting for the change we want and need, the sleeping giant known as Atlasia will wake up, rub the sleep from its eyes, and see .

It will see that we are above all this, that we are above petty squabbles, and that we are ready.

We are going to do this, Atlasia.

Thank you, Dave bless you, and Dave bless the Republic of Atlasia!

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Grats!

You too.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Well, I think we've had a good start.

We've already helped everyday Atlasian workers with the Homeonwner Protection Act, and are in the process of helping people with the Health Care Act. I'm also fulfilling my promises with the National Muffin Act.

But there are some who would have me out of office in only a few weeks. The election comes soon, Atlasia, and we can't afford to take all the progress away.

We need to keep fighting. Fighting for you, the middle class. Fighting for you, the poor, downtrodden, the huddled masses yearning to breathe free. I'm going to stay right where I am, but Atlasia will keep moving forward. Thank you, and Dave bless you.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Oh, I already have .

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

OK!

We've got no less than 4 Labor candidates running for office, and I hope sincerely that my friendly friends in Atlasia (16 voters) will help give us a quadruple-win and knock out the Whig Party.

You see, Senator Pingvin is my good friend, but I abhor the party of the Whigs. We must stand up against their POTENTIAL tyranny and fight for the rights of the working and middle classes.

We can't afford to lose now, Atlasia! This economy is sending the good people of this country down the drain, and the Whig Party is not helping! I urge you, my countrymen to replace Senators TJ, Pingvin, and Clarence with Senators Seatown, Snowstalker, and Dr. Cynic. But please, preference them after me; I'd like to continue serving you.

Thank you, and Dave bless you all.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

You've got issues kid

I'm campaigning, what do you expect me to do?

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

You've got issues kid

I'm campaigning, what do you expect me to do?

I expect subtlety.  I expect to persuaded, not told what to do.  I expect to see the truth misrepresented rather than outright lies.

Just some friendly tips

I've always thought that misrepresentation was for politicians and lying was for candidates. Look at Gov. Gingrich (R-Moon).

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Tyranny of the Whigs? I am not sure if that is a characterization of our views- which is inaccurate- or at how we are "tyrants"- which is impossible when we have only three Senators and we do not have the Presidency...

If we could, we'd all be tyrants.

I'll add a 'potential' in there. And--excuse me on this; I've only really learned much about Pingvin's positions-you guys seem to enjoy controlling women.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

A Statement

When *not if ) you guys vote for me, I'd like you to place Seatown as your 2nd preference. He's a good guy who knows his issues well and has got some heart to him. You know what? Here's my ideal voting ballot:

1. Alfred F. Jones
2. Seatown
3. Snowstalker
4. Dr. Cynic

Sorry, Snowy!

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

OK, it's voting time! I'd like to thank my family and stuff, and if I don't win, at least I'll have had a good run! Now:

Let's do this! Alfred F. Jones at #1!

And Seatown and Snowy at 2 and 3 (in whichever order). Also, Andrew's cool, so put him at 4, OK.

OBEY.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Okay...

I lost.

Well, I'd like to thank the three or so people who voted for me, and that's about it.

However, I will be back! I intend to run for Northeast Assembly once a vacancy is available, probably because wormyguy will be elected Senator.

Gov. Napoleon: Watch out, because I'm going to show up and make some enemies.

Maybe.

Anyway, see y'all!