He's back! I say Alton B. Parker. My history teacher would be looking back on that moment for years wondering how the heck a "god" like Teddy Roosevelt lost to a total "loser" like Alton Parker.
I agree. And from what you've told me about your history teacher, he probably wouldn't even know who TR is, but he'd know the "conservative evil" that Parker brought to this country, though he also sounds like a party hack and might've turned out a raging libertarian.
. I'm so sorry for you, man.