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| | |-+  BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami
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Author Topic: BREAKING: Possible zombie attack in Miami  (Read 2160 times)
Herman Cain's Gold Chain
Lief
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« on: May 27, 2012, 02:45:07 am »
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Surprised we haven't had anything posted about this yet.

http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/26/2818832/naked-man-shot-killed-on-macarthur.html

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One man was shot to death by Miami police, and another man is fighting for his life after he was attacked and his face allegedly half eaten, by a naked man on the MacArthur Causeway off ramp, police said.

The bloodshed began about 2 p.m. when a series of gunshots were heard on the ramp, which is along NE 13th Street, just south of The Miami Herald building. Witnesses said a woman saw the two men fighting and flagged down a police officer who was in the area.

The officer, who has not been identified, approached and saw that the naked man was actually chewing the other man’s head, according to witnesses. The officer ordered the naked man to back away, and when he continued the assault, the officer shot him. The attacker continued to eat the man, despite being shot, forcing the officer to continue firing. Witnesses said they heard at least a half dozen shots.

Miami police were on the scene, which was just south of The Miami Herald building on Biscayne Boulevard. The naked man who was killed lay face down on the pedestrian walkway just below the newspaper’s two-story parking garage. Police requested The Herald’s video surveillance tapes.

The other man was transported to the hospital with critical injuries, according to police. Their identities were not released.

The incident, which came as crowds descended upon South Beach for the annual Urban Beach Week hip-hop festival, snarled traffic on the causeway for several hours.
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(Part of the 2012 Election Throwback Series)
FBF
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« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2012, 03:06:55 am »
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WTF?!?
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Eraserhead
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« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2012, 03:27:06 am »
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Hot damn. The end is truly nigh.
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Aaron is pissed:

She was like "How did you get my number?  I don't handle this issue.  You have to call the South Bryant Campus for that.  I'll transfer you, but I don't handle it."  She said it in a slightly condescending tone.  I didn't tell her that Grumps gave me the number.  I just told her I looked it up.
SJoyce of Harrenhal
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« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2012, 08:04:35 am »
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Ah, Florida...
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#Ready4Nixon
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« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2012, 09:23:11 am »
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Hot damn. The end is truly nigh.
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R2D2
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« Reply #5 on: May 27, 2012, 09:51:31 am »
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Don't think it could've been said better than this...
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Vazdul (Formerly Chairman of the Communist Party of Ontario)
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« Reply #6 on: May 27, 2012, 10:44:44 am »
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The incident, which came as crowds descended upon South Beach for the annual Urban Beach Week hip-hop festival, snarled traffic on the causeway for several hours.

This is no zombie attack, just more evidence of the decline of our nation's fabric brought on by hip-hop culture.[/Naso]
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Seriously, it was time to change back to the real avatar.
dead0man
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« Reply #7 on: May 27, 2012, 11:27:38 am »
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So...huh...PCP?
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Quote from:   Martha Gellhorn for The Atlantic 1961
The unique misfortune of the Palestinian refugees is that they are a weapon in what seems to be a permanent war...today, in the Middle East, you get a repeated sinking sensation about the Palestinian refugees: they are only a beginning, not an end. Their function is to hang around and be constantly useful as a goad. The ultimate aim is not such humane small potatoes as repatriating refugees.
oakvale
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« Reply #8 on: May 27, 2012, 12:25:38 pm »
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Don't do PCP, kids!
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Seriously, go die in a ditch, anti-semitic scumbag.
BaldEagle1991
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« Reply #9 on: May 27, 2012, 12:58:41 pm »
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Looks the zombies don't realize it isn't 4 days before Christmas. (December 21)
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"Weezy F Baby and the F is for Phenomenal" - Lil' Wayne

"Look at this photograph/Every time I do it makes me laugh/How did our eyes get so red?/And what the hell is on Joey's head?" - Nickelback
ChairmanSanchez
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« Reply #10 on: May 27, 2012, 01:02:52 pm »
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I have not been in Miami for four years, and I have long ago decided that I would never, ever go back.
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America's like that hot chick everyone wants, and illegal immigrants are all the nerds that she should say "no" to.
SJoyce of Harrenhal
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« Reply #11 on: May 27, 2012, 01:07:41 pm »
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So...huh...PCP?

Naw, just FLA. Seriously. Here's some news headlines from the local paper: "Man with gun assaults women to cut ahead in fast-food line, police say"; "Airplane door detached, fell on Broward County golf course"; Man accused of trying to steal clock off police station wall"; Child brings 3 ounces of pot to school for show-and-tell, police say"; "Man sticks up Bradenton bank armed with medical syringe". These are all from the last two days.
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Senator Alfred F. Jones
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« Reply #12 on: May 27, 2012, 01:53:38 pm »
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So...huh...PCP?

Naw, just FLA. Seriously. Here's some news headlines from the local paper: "Man with gun assaults women to cut ahead in fast-food line, police say"; "Airplane door detached, fell on Broward County golf course"; Man accused of trying to steal clock off police station wall"; Child brings 3 ounces of pot to school for show-and-tell, police say"; "Man sticks up Bradenton bank armed with medical syringe". These are all from the last two days.
I'd move to where you live just to read the paper.
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There is a lot of humor to be mined from this as the mind of LBJ in the body of an 18 month old baby girl is quite hilarious.

Alfred is the Atlasian equivalent of a malevolent deity.

GM Napoleon
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« Reply #13 on: May 27, 2012, 02:09:01 pm »
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I was wondering how God would react to banning the Jmfcst.
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When I was in the third grade, I thought that I was Jewish
Because I could count, my nose was big, and I kept my bank account fullish
I told my mom, tears blurring my vision
He said, "Mort, you've loved God since before circumcision"
k-onmmunist
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« Reply #14 on: May 27, 2012, 02:23:48 pm »
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I love how everyone assumed it was PCP, given that it's usually not even that dangerous to people around you (Most people don't lash out unless they were violent anyway). Most likely just some psycho.
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oakvale
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« Reply #15 on: May 27, 2012, 02:42:44 pm »
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I love how everyone assumed it was PCP, given that it's usually not even that dangerous to people around you (Most people don't lash out unless they were violent anyway). Most likely just some psycho.

Is that you Big Lurch?
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Seriously, go die in a ditch, anti-semitic scumbag.
MooMooMoo
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« Reply #16 on: May 27, 2012, 03:07:40 pm »
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Florida really f'd the granny this time. That's why I love that place...
« Last Edit: May 27, 2012, 10:41:48 pm by Mr. Moderate »Logged


the result is a sense that we were told to attend a lavish dinner party that was going to be wonderful and by the time we got there, all the lobster and steak had been eaten, a fight had broken out, the police had been called and all that was left was warm beer and chips.
[/quot
dead0man
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« Reply #17 on: May 27, 2012, 04:01:08 pm »
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So...huh...PCP?

Naw, just FLA. Seriously. Here's some news headlines from the local paper: "Man with gun assaults women to cut ahead in fast-food line, police say"; "Airplane door detached, fell on Broward County golf course"; Man accused of trying to steal clock off police station wall"; Child brings 3 ounces of pot to school for show-and-tell, police say"; "Man sticks up Bradenton bank armed with medical syringe". These are all from the last two days.
Indeed you are correct...there is a reason Fark has a "Florida" tag and no other state....there is a reason Adam Carolla's podcast has a bit about "Florida or Germany" (where they give the basic facts of a story and you're supposed to guess whether it happened in Florida or Germany).  I spend two years in Florida (the red neck riviera part) so I understand.
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Quote from:   Martha Gellhorn for The Atlantic 1961
The unique misfortune of the Palestinian refugees is that they are a weapon in what seems to be a permanent war...today, in the Middle East, you get a repeated sinking sensation about the Palestinian refugees: they are only a beginning, not an end. Their function is to hang around and be constantly useful as a goad. The ultimate aim is not such humane small potatoes as repatriating refugees.
k-onmmunist
Winston Disraeli
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« Reply #18 on: May 27, 2012, 06:07:15 pm »
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I love how everyone assumed it was PCP, given that it's usually not even that dangerous to people around you (Most people don't lash out unless they were violent anyway). Most likely just some psycho.

Is that you Big Lurch?

Livers plz.
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FBF
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« Reply #19 on: May 27, 2012, 06:58:57 pm »
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Maybe he was just homesick for New Jersey.  Trolololololololol
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SJoyce of Harrenhal
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« Reply #20 on: May 27, 2012, 09:24:13 pm »
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So...huh...PCP?

Naw, just FLA. Seriously. Here's some news headlines from the local paper: "Man with gun assaults women to cut ahead in fast-food line, police say"; "Airplane door detached, fell on Broward County golf course"; Man accused of trying to steal clock off police station wall"; Child brings 3 ounces of pot to school for show-and-tell, police say"; "Man sticks up Bradenton bank armed with medical syringe". These are all from the last two days.
I'd move to where you live just to read the paper.

You don't have to; it's the largest newspaper in the Southeast (Tampa Bay Times) and thus has its own website here. The current headline is, of course, "Miami Police Shoot Naked Man Found Eating Face of Another Man".
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k-onmmunist
Winston Disraeli
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« Reply #21 on: May 29, 2012, 02:56:06 am »
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They're now blaming LSD. Apparently, no-one in the police force has any clue what LSD actually does.
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SJoyce of Harrenhal
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« Reply #22 on: May 29, 2012, 06:45:08 am »
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They're now blaming LSD. Apparently, no-one in the police force has any clue what LSD actually does.

I'd heard they were blaming cocaine that causes one to remove one's clothes.
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k-onmmunist
Winston Disraeli
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« Reply #23 on: May 29, 2012, 08:01:57 am »
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They're now blaming LSD. Apparently, no-one in the police force has any clue what LSD actually does.

I'd heard they were blaming cocaine that causes one to remove one's clothes.

Cocaine is more likely than LSD - I've never heard of anyone having a violent freakout on LSD.
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Rooney
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« Reply #24 on: May 29, 2012, 05:06:32 pm »
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I do not believe that this happened. I think this story is a bald faced lie.
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Social score: -8.00
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