I had a day, a tough day. took 150 of trazodone to pass out. was too much, I got existential anxiety. but eventually, the Lord was merciful, and I passed out. to awake at 445am, and here I am.
why the fck do I run you through these things? because I can't look the world in the eye. I admit it. this is a temper tantrum. I admit it! I could do better, I could to better! but there is a lurking doubt, a hard doubt. it's not just the rationalization of self-destruction kicking in, it's deeper. it's reasoned. what happens when I cross that threshold, become 'functional'? do I start being like you? RD Laing was clinically depressed. and he also pointed out the truth: that 'normal' people like you, Mikado, like you, Al, were responsible for two world wars, slaughter of 100 million. meanwhile Tweed is the guilty kid. no! I'm not! there is moral relativism, and it's here, and you're dense if you can't see it. he could rape 100 women and it still would not be about that, period.
Have you read Knots? Pretty good stuff!
