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| | |-+  Mechaman, esteemed Irish Dixiecrat, running for re-election to IDS Legislature!
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Author Topic: Mechaman, esteemed Irish Dixiecrat, running for re-election to IDS Legislature!  (Read 417 times)
Mechaman
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« on: June 08, 2012, 09:12:41 am »
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So yeah, I've decided, at the urging of the various political machines that have sent me this $250,000 check as well as a free invitation to the National White League's annual Barbeque, to run for re-election.  As your continued IDS Representative I intend to:

-Do Nothing.
-Occasionally check to see if we are actually voting on anything in the next millenium in the Legislature thread.
-Reduce my drinking by 1/16th (for my loyal rich landowning Anglo-Protestant voters).
-Not accept any Jew money (for my racist voters).
-Vote on whatever Yelnoc tells me to vote on.
-Show up when the Legislature threatens to remove me from office for inactivity.
-Ban ponies.
-Ban bronies.
-Legalize Protestant Whiskey.
-Write your mother a thank you letter for the chocolate chip cookies she made me last Wednesday when I was sick.  No, there is no innuendo here.
-Accept any and all (non-Jew) bribes.

Now, I will accept any questions about this campaign but none about my drug history.  Please, no questions about my baptism fetish.
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23:19   Xahar   you're literally a white dude Mechaman
Mechaman
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« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2012, 09:46:37 am »
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Honest Corruption, the Irish Dixiecratic Manifesto:

Lately there has been a lot of hand wringing about the word "corruption".  As if, the word "corruption" is now something to be abominable and that "not Corruption" is suddenly good.  I must admit, that I do indeed agree with the demonization of dishonestly corrupt officials.  However, many people, mostly people who have the disease called Ethics, have taken the line that all corruption is evil and should be not allowed in Atlasian Democracy.
This is where I, Mechaman, Irish Dixiecrat from Louisiana, staunchly disagree.
The problem here is blatantly evil dishonesty.  Shameful dishonest lying liars who are ashamed of the fact that they vote for a living and not for stupid meaningless reasons like ideology.  I mean really, what a waste voting for no money and no self-interest other than that "it feels right" or "it agrees with my world view".  It is a testament as to how far Atlasia has fallen that the God Given right to take and accept briberies is now viewed as akin to a moral sin to the point that corrupt politicians have to lie about it.
He who denies the glory of corrupt behavior is worthy of the fires of hell.  However, he who hath welcomed bribery shall be blessed with many (literal) riches.
It is with great pride that I run as your honest corrupt IDS legislator.  I do not run in shame in front of the evil principled ideologue who self finances his own campaign.  I confront them with brutal honest corrupt truth.  Honest Corruption=the Way Atlasia is supposed to run.

To all my donors out there, Dave Bless you.
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23:19   Xahar   you're literally a white dude Mechaman
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Napoleon
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« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2012, 09:56:46 am »
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Shouldn't you be drunk somewhere crying over the potato famine searching frantically for a stash of kush and Klondikes?
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When I was in the third grade, I thought that I was Jewish
Because I could count, my nose was big, and I kept my bank account fullish
I told my mom, tears blurring my vision
He said, "Mort, you've loved God since before circumcision"
Princess Kenny
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« Reply #3 on: June 08, 2012, 10:16:11 am »
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-Ban ponies.
-Ban bronies.

Just ban? You're just too LIBERAL on pony/brony issue.
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Princess Kenny
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« Reply #4 on: June 08, 2012, 10:19:37 am »
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Unlike Mechaman, who is nothing more than a bleeding-heart, soft-on-crime liberal, I support mandatory death penalty for being a brony, as well as a mandatory chain gang for uttering a "P" word.

Once influental again, I shall fight for comissioning a portable electric chair, to fry bronies in public.

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Cincinnatus
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« Reply #5 on: June 08, 2012, 10:48:01 am »
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This is much to lenient Kal..  I prefer frying them like this..

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SJoyce
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« Reply #6 on: June 08, 2012, 11:00:41 am »
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Nay, nay, you are all far too liberal. Just give them the boats.
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Princess Kenny
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« Reply #7 on: June 08, 2012, 11:17:34 am »
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And you, guys, are anti-Atlasian. We don't need foreign inventions to death with bronies. We're fine with good ole's sparky to solve the problem.
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SJoyce
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« Reply #8 on: June 08, 2012, 11:28:33 am »
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And you, guys, are anti-Atlasian. We don't need foreign inventions to death with bronies. We're fine with good ole's sparky to solve the problem.

*The Boats has a Native Atlasian variant. But really, it doesn't matter what method we use; we just need to make the use of it a public event instead of it being done in the privacy of a prison.
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Mechaman
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« Reply #9 on: June 08, 2012, 02:34:51 pm »
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Hagrid Lies:

Mechaman, the Irish Dixiecrat, the Ultimate Racist of all Ultimate Racists and World Renowned Hater of all Ponies and Bronies since Time Immemorial, would like to make a statement regarding the latest endorsement of the f**** f*** Sparkle for Hagrid of the Deep:

Hagrid the Deep is a f***ing liar and great master of fraudery.  Mechaman has never, EVER, been a slave to the bronies and ponies who threaten this great nation.  Sparkle is a f***ing little hump whose words shouldn't be trusted.  There is no reason any should believe that ponies and bronies ever would consider to be part of this campaign, considering the threat the Ponyrat are to Mechaman's agenda of honest corruption and Homo Sapien Supremacy.  There is no reason why, no reason at all, that MEchaman would've even considered the vote of a bunch of rainbow colored fruity four legged hardons who are fantasized by 17 year old boys and hipsters.

These lies, that the Ponyrat had ever intended to lean towards Mechaman, are great extreme lies.  Mechaman has always, ALWAYS, been on the side of Atlasia and for the progress of it's honest corrupt character.  Never, ABSOLUTELY NEVER, has Mechaman even considered petting a pony in fear of getting the GAIDS.  This is an utter distortion by Communitarian Extremist Paganist Wizards who seek to return the country back to the dark ages when politics weren't bought and paid for the honest way and people actually believed in the democratic process (such a scary thing I know).  Next thing you know they will be telling you that D and D players were lean Mechaman (also another huge lie).

So, either believe the lies, or believe the Corrupt Truth.

Vote Mechaman.


Also, we would like to take into consideration the alternatives proposed here for punishment of the ponies and bronies.  Surely, all you gentlemen have made fine suggestions and a comprehensive well informed debate should help us determine the proper course of action.
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23:19   Xahar   you're literally a white dude Mechaman
HagridOfTheDeep
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« Reply #10 on: June 08, 2012, 02:40:43 pm »
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Wink
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ChairmanSanchez
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« Reply #11 on: June 08, 2012, 08:12:54 pm »
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Endorsed.
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If a burial strikes my family as too practical, I'd go for either a viking funeral on one of the Great Lakes or to be sealed up in a tomb with my closest servants and bang-maids so they may wait on my every need in the afterlife.
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